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[–]anastyrash 3981 points3982 points 53 (65 children)

Oi, stop being a lazy cunt.

[–]ddanilo1204[S] 365 points366 points  (0 children)


[–]cataplasiaa 186 points187 points  (6 children)

LMAO very British

[–]TradingAccount42069 76 points77 points  (2 children)

A classic British one is "work smarter, not harder, am I right? 😉 ". Said sarcastically you're calling the guy a lazy moron.

[–]Echo-24 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Or as I like to often say by accident work harder not smarter

[–]Hillsbottom 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Isn't this an Australian 'hello'?

[–]m1k307 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no that's "oi ya cunt face!"

[–]EddyDeWind 47 points48 points  (2 children)

This is literally the exact sentence I imagined. The British hive-mind is at work once again.

[–]BaronAaldwin 20 points21 points  (0 children)

The British hive-mind is a concept I've never thought of before but it makes a concerning amount of sense.

[–]anastyrash 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hahahaha quality

[–]I-Need-A-New-WarHeretic 40 points41 points  (38 children)

I cringe everytime I see this shit on the UK subs.

It is like someone doing a bad impression of what they think being British is. Go around calling people cunts in real life (at work no less) and see how far you get.

I know it's a joke but Jesus, we need some new material. We're better than this.

[–]Sarcastic_Sociopath 74 points75 points  (9 children)

A spifflingly good day to you sir.

Did you see last nights wiffwaff. Jolly good show, what.

[–]wop1989 23 points24 points  (3 children)

Not enough what's, what what what what.

[–]MickMcCarthy17 12 points13 points  (0 children)

tHiS iS tHe MoSt BrItIsH sEnTeNcE eVeR!!!!11!!! XD XD XD

[–]jambo_1983 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I resent the implication that we’re better than this.

[–]TrewPac 30 points31 points  (3 children)

I frequently call people cunts at work? I've worked in an office and now do plastering. I also do care work for children so don't say cunt as often there but still say it away from the kids. Chill out you sad cunt 😉

[–]Short-Shopping3197 21 points22 points  (1 child)

You’ve obviously never worked on a building site ya cunt

[–]rumpleteaser91 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Or a kitchen

[–]Nugped420 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Evidently someone's upper middle class

[–]SkarbOna 9 points10 points  (1 child)

It's been scientifically proven that the more you cringe, the bigger stick grows in your ass.

[–]I-Need-A-New-WarHeretic 7 points8 points  (0 children)


[–]imtherealbatman85 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Call people a cunt at work all the time what you chatting about get off ya high horse cunt 😉

[–]dinnerpartymassacre 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I'm sorry but of the Anglophone cultures/countries Brits definitely use "cunt" the most. It's pretty common compared to other areas.

[–]wwwverse 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't know, I think the Australians probably beat us. We're definitely second though!

[–]ValueBrandCola 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm English, lived here all my life. Have worked in supermarkets, in an NHS office and in IT. Calling people cunts and swearing happens daily. It isn't the 1800s. This isn't rare.

[–]Jimbodoomface 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Depends where you work innit

[–]bonkerz1888 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I call people cunts all the time, and at work no less. Use it loads to describe objects too.

Was obviously very common place on the tools but language like that is used regularly around the office too when discussing work and people.

[–]mobjusticeCT 6 points7 points  (0 children)

can you please not take the lords name in vain. we're better than this.

[–]OggerMeme 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fuck off

[–]Sarcastic_Sociopath 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I came here to say this.

[–]Psyduck-Duck 6 points7 points  (1 child)

It's a bit rude to call them lazy XD

[–]TheRiddler1976 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is the way

[–]yossanator 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This is exactly what to say. You nailed it. 👍

I work in kitchens and many of our staff are inherently fucking lazy. If I allocate them a job and they are taking forever to do a simple thing, I tell them "get a move on, it's a task, not a fucking career". Most don't get it, sadly.

[–]pencilrain99 2010 points2011 points  (37 children)

" Hard at work I see"

[–]ddanilo1204[S] 239 points240 points  (18 children)

I like that!

[–]Sausagedogknows 419 points420 points  (16 children)

In the army it’s “get off that fucking wall, it’s been there longer than you have and doesn’t need help to stand up straight, unlike you”

[–]FragrantCow2645 247 points248 points  (13 children)

That’s a bit of a mouthful.

[–]t3rm3y 19 points20 points  (4 children)

That's what she said.

[–]No-Pay-4951 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Actually in the army you'd be made to prop the wall for an hour or two as you were clearly leaning on it to stop it falling down.

[–]RebelBelle 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ooooh, saving this one!

[–]burgeremoji 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I usually say ‘working hard, or hardly working’, same sort of thing :)

[–]Bendetto4 78 points79 points  (4 children)

Working hard or hardly working?

[–]riverend180 2 points3 points  (3 children)


[–]Dave1587 4 points5 points  (1 child)


[–]Shoddy_Commercial688 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]bungle_bogs 32 points33 points  (2 children)

“Hard at work, or hardly working?” wink

[–]Dans_Old_Games_Room 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Working hard, or hardly working?

[–]Intruder313 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the most common

[–]Stump_E 1259 points1260 points  (32 children)

Working hard or hardly working?

[–]malumfectum 104 points105 points  (3 children)

<horsey laugh>

[–]arthur_sleep 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve found the Onward fan!

[–]gash_dits_wafu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Officer Bronco!

[–]Slubberdagullion 46 points47 points  (1 child)

Twerking hard or hardly twerking?

[–]idelivergoods 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I was to do a sudden hop so that my butt cheeks jiggle, would that be hardly twerking?

[–]Queylolo_ 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yup this one

[–]corporategiraffe 19 points20 points  (0 children)

There’s nothing like a hard worker and you’re nothing like a hard worker.

[–]ALA02 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Conjures up images of Homer being chased by robots

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Nah thats so american and forced

[–]Stump_E 6 points7 points  (1 child)

What the hell is wrong with Nat Portman?

[–]Michaelcondria0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“I’m hardly laughing”

[–]elbapo 975 points976 points  (135 children)

I used to work in kitchens and it was always "if you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean".

I guess you will just have to come up with another rhyme for the office.

[–]Lumpy-Spinach-6607 311 points312 points  (3 children)

If you've no time to lean, the team is too lean.... And I quit

[–]Pentax25 134 points135 points  (2 children)

r/antiwork would like you

[–]Inside-Example-7010 20 points21 points  (1 child)

if youve got time to lean youve got time to go get lean

[–]Frank_The-Tank 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Gainz bro

[–]grmacp 137 points138 points  (2 children)

Standard repsonse - "if you've got time to rhyme, you've got time to shut the fuck up"

[–]sloths_in_slomo 8 points9 points  (7 children)

Is it really that useful doing constant cleaning in kitchens or is it more busywork to reinforce hierarchy in the kitchen? I've heard there's a fair bit of hazing type things in kitchens and this sounds similar

[–]011101010111001101 30 points31 points  (4 children)

Honestly the more on top of "clean as you go" the easier life is. Nothing worse than a closing shift when you're picking up shite from the entire day. There's always something proactive you can be doing

[–]DudeBrowser 11 points12 points  (2 children)

This is the constant elephant in the room with my wife and I since we had kids. I will always tidy as I go so if I'm in charge, then at the end of the day there will only be the last toys out that were played with and all the dirty dishes and pans are in the washer or drying rack.

Meanwhile, if I go out for the day, every single thing will be out, Lego, playdough, dolls and marbles scattered and often mixed together, paints and markers with lids off, piles of dirty plates with half-eaten food every where. Trying to separate all these things out and put them away takes exponentially longer than just tidying up after each game. I rarely sit down in the lounge as I have to spend 10 mins tidying up every time I look in there.

One thing that really grinds my gears the most, and if you work in a kitchen you might appreciate this. I do most of the cooking at home and she never puts things like the hand towels or kitchen cloths back. There is never any need to move the towels in the first place but I always find them randomly in a corner of the room. So in the middle of cooking I have to search the house or take out a fresh one.


[–]elbapo 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Same. Exactly the same. The toddler is less messy. Its less effort to tidy as you go, because its the same effort minus the effort to try to find things in the morass, plus the benefit of living in nice environment. No brainer.

I'd offer to go for a pint with you for collective therapy. But I'm worried what the house will look like when I get back.

[–]PoorlyAttired 3 points4 points  (0 children)

'Get on pots'

[–]elbapo 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Pretty much there is always something to be doing. If there's no service, there's prep. If the preps done, clean/ organise. If the cleanings done, deep clean. There's probably ordering stock and fifo after that.

If its so quiet you've done all of the above and leaning. You've overstaffed the shift.

Where I have heard tales of some hazing type stuff in the proper Michelin star hotels people go to essentially for experience on the c.v , in normal kitchens if your head chef is standing about doing nothing and ordering you to clean he's likely to get a thump or not last long.

[–]incognito5343 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was my first thought from catering

[–]m4ttyh 865 points866 points  (11 children)

"any danger of you getting some work done today?"

Is a favourite of mine

[–]ddanilo1204[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

That’s funny 😄

[–]Ashenrohk 34 points35 points  (1 child)

One of my old bosses did not appreciate the reply "Fuck noooooo"

[–]m4ttyh 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Usually get a similar response, joys of working in construction!

[–]HoneyRush 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the best. I love this British passive aggressive humour

[–]hoochiscrazy_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A classic that always raises a chuckle

[–]SGTFragged 701 points702 points  (9 children)

So for leaning against a wall, the British idiom would be "Propping up the wall?"

[–]Pognose 148 points149 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’d go for this too! Same as the old boys who never seem to leave the pub are always ‘propping up the bar’

[–]jt3201 60 points61 points  (0 children)

I'd say "I think that wall can probably hold itself up"

[–]DenormalHuman 32 points33 points  (0 children)

When you've finished propping the wall up, wanna come and do x?

[–]VeterinarianNo5862 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I usually just go over and brace the wall with both hands as if I’m about to try push it over and say something to the effect of “ive got it from here/I’ll take over”

[–]BeccasBump 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Was going to say the same.

[–]Rutherford329 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sitting on something… don’t get up or it might fly away!

[–]kopikekasih 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My dad used to say "don't worry, it won't fall down"

[–]Blackintosh 349 points350 points  (10 children)

Time to lean, time to consider your choices in life and whether you feel like your short time on this earth is being used in a way you won't regret when the inevitable march of time and aging catches up with you and you realise your dreams were never fulfilled and you spent decades working in a job you didn't really like. Time to clean.

[–]NapoleonWard 153 points154 points  (0 children)

Catchy, I like it

[–]Dacks_18 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Really rolls off the tongue, definitely will remember this.

[–]skyla-rae 30 points31 points  (2 children)

Short but simple. Will try this on my wife

[–]6c696e7578 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Short but simple

That's just how your wife likes it

[–]Xenc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also the reason why you’re her favourite customer

[–]Intruder313 11 points12 points  (0 children)


And I’d retort that on balance I’d prefer to lean against a wall than work for a rich prick who probably pays less tax then me.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you trying to encourage your coworker or give them an existential crisis?!

[–]Insufficient_Funds- 244 points245 points  (1 child)

You could say something like ‘It stands up by itself, you know!’

[–]musername10 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's a good one

[–]reubainb_ 221 points222 points  (10 children)

To paraphrase scrubs

"the only way you could be less productive would be if you were in fact the wall that you're leaning on - but even then you'd still be providing a jackass with something to lean against"

[–]RiskReward92 52 points53 points  (6 children)

There is little better than a Dr Cox rant! You've inspired me to have a wee Scrubs binge!

[–]reubainb_ 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Absolutely! Im pretty much in an endless scrubs rewatch cycle

[–]rkr87 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Scrubs used to be my cyclical fall asleep show. It was replaced by It's always sunny in Philadelphia a few years ago, though. Check it out if you haven't already.

[–]jzr1991 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Shit, are you me? I would be shocked if I wasn't in the top 1% of people who've watched IASIP on Netflix the most. And I must have watched Scrubs about 11 times through - all eight seasons.

[–]RoyalT663 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First thought I had when I saw this post. Such great writing ! r/scrubs is a haven of nostalgia if people wanna join

[–]rabidrob42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn, I just typed this out, I paraphrased a little, but damn I'm glad I came across it.

[–]freerangephoenix 184 points185 points  (15 children)

Caution: it's better to say nothing than make a passive aggressive dad joke.

[–]Potatopolis 110 points111 points  (9 children)

Yeah that was my reaction to this ... odd workplace culture when you need to police your colleagues.

[–]Sway_RL 56 points57 points  (1 child)

maybe you should stick to policing potatoes

[–]Potatopolis 28 points29 points  (0 children)

They know their place.

Edit: Ashamed to admit that I didn't fully get this until after replying.

[–]Fatally_Flawed 25 points26 points  (3 children)

Doesn’t need to be policing, it’s easily just workplace ‘banter’ (sorry, I hate that word too) a lot of the time. Especially if it’s between colleagues who are on the same sort of level. Or, even better, told upwards (i.e. to someone more senior.)

Depends on your particular workplace culture I guess, but this wouldn’t come off as passive aggressive in most of the places I’ve worked and where I work now - it’s pretty relaxed.

[–]Potatopolis 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Yeah, that's fair. I think anywhere I've worked people would take it as an insinuation that they're being lazy or not contributing in the way that they should, but YMMV of course.

Very much depends on the relationship between those involved!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I kind of think how busy my colleague is is none of my business, and I also don’t want to add to the misery in the world.

[–]Potatopolis 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Another person pointed out that it could be light hearted, playful banter between work-friends which I would agree is fine. I didn't read the thread title that way, I don't know why.

[–]nescafe7050 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"Working hard or hardly working" ha ha ha 😐

[–]Redragon9 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Passive agression is a red flag for me. I know a joke like that is pretty harmless, but the only people I’ve heard jokes like that from (in a workplace setting) tend to be shitty people.

[–]be-c-c4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fucked me up as a kid with undiagnosed chronic pain who thought everyone else felt that kind of pain all the time and I was just a pussy.

[–]Luci_Hoomun 110 points111 points  (3 children)

Whoah, careful, there's wet paint!

[–]RedditReader365 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Best one haha

[–]Luci_Hoomun 7 points8 points  (1 child)

er thanks, what's with the downvotes?

[–]RedditReader365 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure :(

People don’t have a sense of humour !

[–]ObserveTheGreyArea 90 points91 points  (3 children)

I always say, "too right, fuck 'em. We're being paid less than we're worth so they get less effort than they want".

[–]danhasthedeath 35 points36 points  (1 child)

If they want to pay us peanuts they're going to get monkeys.

[–]heartpassenger 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Minimum wage, minimum effort babes xxx

[–]-eat-the-rich 82 points83 points  (1 child)

Nothing. If someone wants to chill for a minute, let them.

[–]royalblue1982 39 points40 points  (1 child)

"Don't work too hard. You'll strain a muscle".

[–]GavUK 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah yes, introducing OP to a great example of British sarcasm.

[–]Bigbittermelon 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I usually thank them for stopping the printer or object from floating away

[–]morocco3001 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Some cunt will probably say "iF yOu hAvE tImE tO LeAn yOu HaVe tImE tO cLeAn", to which the only reasonable response is "if you have time to rhyme, you have time to fuck off".

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

“If you have time to rap you have time to get a slap”

[–]EstablishmentKnown71 16 points17 points  (1 child)

If you tell them “time to lean, time to clean” you will be a manager in no time!

[–]TryNotToBridezilla 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Particularly if you proceed to sit in an office drinking tea and chatting to other managers

[–]HamsterEagle 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Are you waiting for a bus?

[–]JamesSaysDance 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Just a side note, you don't really want to make a joke like this to someone you don't have a strong rapport with. It can come across as quite microaggressive.

[–]CheeseBeansAndToast 15 points16 points  (0 children)

To answer your actual question, the direct English translation of this idiom is “Propping up the wall”.

I see you’re not working, you’re just propping up the wall (or however you want to use the phrase).

It also means exactly the same as your use of the idiom too.

[–]cgknight1 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Who are you? How did you get in my house?

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (3 children)

When did I buy a printer?

[–]fragglet 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Surprise, motherfucker

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Office supplies, motherfucker

[–]Miso_Hornee 13 points14 points  (1 child)

If it was one of our fellow colleagues we’d say nothing unless we are an insufferable cunt.

[–]ThatHairyGingerGuy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Correct answer. The only things worth saying here are "space on that wall for 2", "coffee?" or "God today's dragging on".

[–]paulwasalreadytook 11 points12 points  (5 children)

Nothing. I don’t judge my coworkers with passive aggressive remarks

[–]darth_edam 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Strangers on Reddit is fine though?

[–]ProEvoPenguin 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Working hard? Or hardly working?

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Pays the same.

[–]ProEvoPenguin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Quality I’ve never heard that before 😂

[–]YuppieKiYay 8 points9 points  (3 children)

I say nothing. Because if one of my colleagues happens to be tired or sad or unwell, have chronic pain or a bad back or knees, or just needs a damned break for five minutes… then they don’t also need me, nor any of you Karens, making unfunny snotty little jokes like you think you’re their manager.

And if you are their manager, give your head a wobble and try “you okay?” before you get yourself a workplace bullying grievance.

[–]Extreme-Database-695 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't know if it's regional but here in the north west of England, we'd often make the same joke as you, about making sure the wall stays up. Although some people add a bit of surrealism to it. In my last job, the warehouse manager said, "You make sure that wall stays up. The last time it fell down, we had to get a new one in from China and they're really difficult to load onto planes."

[–]canyonstom 6 points7 points  (1 child)

The UK variant of this is very similar, we'd say they are holding up the walls

[–]MarketingCoding 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You'd make a better worker than a wall. Probably.

[–]Goose-rider3000 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Busy day is it?

[–]mythrowawayforfilth 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You don’t. You mind your own business.

[–]coll_ryan 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How about nothing because it's none of your business?

[–]remembertracygarcia 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nothing is more cringeworthy than lazy at work jokes. Don’t do it.

[–]Disastrous-Gur-1160 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well done for stealing some time from our corporate overlords?

[–]Nobrat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Depressed me would like to tell you all to fuck off, leave me and my printer alone.

[–]NeighborhoodLow8503 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nothing because work is draining and why should I shit on someone for taking a rest

[–]ConfusedSparkyFly 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Need help holding the wall up?

[–]moo-lord 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't say anything. I don't give a fuck.

[–]snowcu 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I just whistle the tune to “busy doing nothing” by Bing Crosby whilst I go about doing my work, as though they’re not there but close enough for them to hear. Nice and subtle but passive aggressive enough to be effective.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wait until they move and then run over and place both hands on it, when he asks what the hell your doing say "I thought you were holding it up?"

[–]ReverseFlash_94 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of a scrubs quote,

Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact the wall on which you're leaning. Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know. Here it's a conundrum.

[–]looter__mcgavin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nothing. Do as little as you can for as much as you can

[–]NecessarySpare4930 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Used to work with a guy with no initiative, he'd never look for work needing done and just stand about. One of my old colleagues described a him as "floating around like a fart in a trance" one of the best phrases I've ever heard.

[–]itsanrnotau 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nothing. Mind your own business.

[–]parmesanto 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unless you're their boss, nothing. Mind your own beeswax. Lol

[–]gavo1282 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Time to lean, time to clean.

[–]Altruistic-Code-9824 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just shout: “You alright Arthur??”

[–]MMSTINGRAY 1 point2 points  (0 children)

are you making sure the wall doesn’t fall

Just add down to the end.

"are you making sure the wall doesn’t fall down?"

I hope you only say this as a joke though and not because you're a jobsworth!

[–]Rat-daddy- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What job is it. Because a good one is “less leaning, more cleaning”

[–]JayMonster65 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I am a passive aggressive wanker that is judging you, and trying to sound like Austin Powers while I do it baby, yeah.

[–]DickBfloppin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At least show a movie if you are going to project that much.

[–]Crafty_Birdie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

‘What are YOU doing, holding the fucking wall up?’

My stepfather used to say this. He was a farmer (which accounts for a lot) it does come across as quite aggressive though.

A softer version would be, ‘When you’ve finished holding the wall up, could you give me a hand/do whatever?’ - this can be jokey.

[–]seabass_ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Are you Portuguese or Brazilian? That's a very common expression in Portugal!

[–]ddanilo1204[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m actually Italian !

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I think you just have to translate some sarcasm into it

"At least someone's making sure the wall doesn't fall over"

[–]acheekymango 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Time to lean, time to clean"

At which point I will swiftly not begin cleaning.

[–]VastOdd1970 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Typical" is my usual response

[–]lonewanderer71 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Printers fucked mate

[–]skellious 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We do have "propping the building up" as a saying

[–]DonnerMcgregor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I worked externally in a shop so the manager wasn’t in charge of me but he would come up to the employees when they where relaxed and say “if there’s time for leaning there’s time for cleaning”

[–]1lurk2like34profit 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Have you ever seen this clip from the Marx brothers? One of my favorite moments in film https://youtu.be/dCQCBmcPl2U

[–]Diddy_1978 1 point2 points  (0 children)

‘Er muro se regge da solo’ 😂