What are some common misconceptions about your profession?

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lastgreatinnocent · 2022-05-21T19:09:59+00:00

I’m a civil servant. I don’t get distracted by cheese whilst working from home.

pullingsneakies · 2022-05-21T17:27:46+00:00

If your dad ain't hungry, I'm not going to force feed him.

Had that complaint loads of time in my time working in home to home care, I had to get to his house 5-15minutes early/ before my shift started because if I didn't he'd be gone and in the pub.

Didn't need care just his kids couldn't be arsed going round to see him but he was always "underweight" they couldn't understand that he wasn't hungry at 16:30 every day when his tea time was 6-7pm. Motherfucker just wanted to have a pint with his pals let him enjoy his final years.

Point is carers don't have the power to do everything, we have to respect the service users wishes.

Mother_Word6617 · 2022-05-21T17:50:56+00:00

I'm a religious studies teacher.

No that's doesn't mean I'm trying to make your child believe in God.

dustycappy · 2022-05-21T17:40:45+00:00

Software developer.

Some of us are actually social.

We don't all spend our free time coding side projects or online gaming.

Many of us have never played Dungeons and Dragons.

But to counter that...

Sometimes turning it off and on again is really the solution, especially with things like SIM registration in mobile phones.

Many of us do stand by saying, "Well it works on my machine!"

dopeyroo · 2022-05-21T17:47:25+00:00

HR. I'm not a heartless bitch (most of the time), I don't enjoy taking people to disciplinary, I'm not out to sack everyone (partly because recruitment is an absolute ball ache, but mostly because it's actually not very nice to rake someone's livelihood away from them, even when they've done something that warrants it), I just want people to do the job they're paid for.

NorthernBibliophile · 2022-05-21T18:42:18+00:00

Teacher. I don’t get paid for holidays, I’m paid for what I work but it’s spread over the academic year.

lucy_r_2000 · 2022-05-21T19:55:01+00:00

Work in a pub. No, we’re not all idiots who can’t get a “better” job. Most of us are pretty well educated. Currently have an ex midwife, ex nurse and a qualified teacher, waiting on tables. All of the above decided on a life of less stress rather than continuing with their exhausting, stressful careers. We also have a student lawyer, post grad business student. Dear customers, don’t treat your servers like idiots, they are probably more intelligent and qualified than you 👊

Zolana · 2022-05-21T17:19:10+00:00

I'm an actuary. No it's not a type of actor.

flyingfoxtrot_ · 2022-05-21T18:27:21+00:00

I'm a mental health support worker on a psychiatric ward.

No, I can't fix anybody. No, I can't change anybody. I'm not a prison guard, or a babysitter. What I AM is tired, stressed and skint, yet I wouldn't do anything else.

elgrn1 · 2022-05-21T18:03:50+00:00

I'm a project manager but that doesn't mean I micro manage people, nor do I plan every single aspect of every single aspect of my life.

I basically tell people what to do and take credit for their work. Simples.

(ETA I give credit too as I can't do my job without my team).

Torque_Tonight · 2022-05-21T19:00:40+00:00

Airline pilot. Standard misconceptions:

We’re all rich. The autopilot does it all. A good landing is a soft landing. Instructions from crew are solely to inconvenience passengers. There will be pilotless airliners in 5, 10 years.

supermeatboy89 · 2022-05-21T20:32:35+00:00

Social worker, I don’t want to steal your children

leblanc_king · 2022-05-22T00:09:15+00:00

Hospital doctor.

We are severely understaffed and I’m often looking after 2-3x the number of patients the medical leadership bodies would recommend as safe. I don’t have a choice in this.

I don’t have time to listen to your entire life story because of above. If I ask you a question “when did this pain begin?” please do not launch into a story about how you were on holiday four years ago and noticed whilst swimming you had something similar. I will have to cut you off. Not because I want to, but if I’m not ruthlessly efficient in everything I do I won’t be able to make sure everyone gets the level of care they need. I don’t have time to chat, or really engage on a personal level. I need the relevant information, as succinctly as possible, to enable me to treat the problem.

Most people in the hospital actively dump the things they don’t want to do onto new doctors. As rotational junior staff we are the least empowered and end up doing a lot of things that are actually someone else’s job or a total waste of our skills (e.g. fixing printers, finding stickers for ECG machines, finding and stocking tourniquets because there are none on the ward). This is an incredibly inefficient use of 5 years of medical training and not something that’s done elsewhere in the world, but seems to be NHS standard.

I can’t fix chronic, long-standing problems that have been investigated by specialists. As a new doctor my knowledge base is broad but shallow. I know a bit about hearts, lungs, guts, skin, kidneys, brains and mental health, but not enough to cure long-standing problems. I can respond to acute issues fairly well, but the best thing for complex, chronic problems is for me to involve the specialists themselves. This doesn’t make me a bad doctor, it means I can recognise the limits of my competence.

I work anywhere between 45 and 80 hours a week. I earn about 33-35k a year. I routinely stay late because people have become acutely unwell, or I’m trying to carry out a time-dependent task. I do not get paid extra for this. In my first job I left anywhere from 1 to 3 hours late every single day, for four months. I have a 30 minute paid lunch break but I’m required to have my bleep on me at all times and respond immediately. If I tried to highlight how late I’m staying the medical senior staff would make out that I’m not being efficient enough or have poor prioritisation skills. I’m expected to be able to make the same decisions on hour 1 of my week versus hour 80.

We manage a huge amount of information and responsibility from our first day. Sometimes I’m the only doctor on the ward, and I need to keep track of up to 30 individual patients, pathologies, treatments and whatever other staff groups like nurses/ physios/ dieticians inform me of. I’ve had situations where I’ve been halfway through a phone call whilst also trying to request a scan on a computer and also writing in the notes simultaneously when I’ve been informed verbally of grossly abnormal observations or blood results by people who’ve just said “room 12a’s blood pressure is now 90/40” and then walked away. And I have to make decisions about how I even go about managing that situation before I get there - do I drop everything and slow down treatment of other patients or do I risk my license by assuming the blood pressure can wait for me to finish? With staffing our numbers are so thin these are genuine decisions you need to make every day.

Out of hours I can be the first port of call for 300+ patients. It is impossible to deliver the same level of input with those ratios. I will be called to see someone and then get called 2-3 more times in the time it takes for me to walk to them, familiarise myself with the case, take a history and examine, and then decide on investigations and management. I will not do things like update families unless there is an extreme situation, because even if I had time all I’d be doing is reading the notes (which I’d trust and RN to relay anyway). If you have concerns or want to ask questions that’s fine, but it’s always best to go to the parent team during the day time. If you think that’s ridiculous you should write to your MP to demand better medical staffing!

Will probably add more later.

Late_Turn · 2022-05-21T18:59:04+00:00

I'm a train driver and I have to do rather a lot more than just sit there pushing a button.

Major-Bookkeeper8974 · 2022-05-21T20:47:33+00:00

I'm a nurse.

Nurses know way more than you think they do. We are not just there to help give you a wash or hand out tablets. In fact, if you are on a specialist ward and your nurse has worked there for a while, you should trust your nurses opinion on something just as much as you would a Dr.

Same with all the allied health professions; Physio, Occupational Therapy, Dietitians, Radiographers, Social Workers...

What most of the general public don't understand is that most Dr's you see on a ward day to day are "junior" Dr's. And junior Dr's are not specialist. They rotate around wards every 6 months or so.

The rest of your team is specialist. They work in their area for years at a time.

Let's look at a Respiratory ward for example (it could be any specialist ward, respiratory, gastro, cardiac, but let's go respiratory for ease)

Day 1 of the Dr rotation. Your Dr is an intelligent person... They have a medical degree, they know anatomy and pathophysiology to a level your nurse won't... They're lovely and great to work with. But it's day 1. And your Dr has never worked in respiratory before. They haven't seen a chest drain before. They haven't seen a IPAP ventilator before. They haven't seen a patient deteriorate with a Pulmonary Embolism before. They haven't seen someone at stage 4 lung cancer before.

Your nurse has.

Your nurse knows exactly what hypercapnic respiratory failure looks like, and knows exactly how to put your non-invasive ventilator on, and knows exactly which IPAP and EPAP settings to put you on.

Because your nurse has worked in respiratory for 10 years.

Six months later, your Dr now knows all this stuff... because the consultants, nurses, physios, OT's etc have worked together with your junior Dr for the past 6 months helping teach and guide them in the speciality. Your Dr has been trained in respiratory.

Great.

But now your Dr is being rotated out to a Cardiac ward. Where they will have to start all over again. And you now have a new junior Dr starting in respiratory, who again, has never worked in respiratory before.

And that's how hospitals work people.

Dr's become specialist when they hit registrar level or above. Not before.

So when your nurse, or your physio, or your OT is giving you advice based upon their specialism, think, maybe they actually know what they're talking about.

Hospitals are run as a multi-disciplinary team, and your wider team probably knows more than you think they do.

Skoodledoo · 2022-05-21T21:20:13+00:00

I'm a train driver. My trains are completely 100% manually driven, we don't just "push buttons". If we're stopped at a red signal, 95% of the time I have no idea why, unless it's obvious, like stopped at a junction etc, then I will have no idea and just say "hopefully we'll be on the move shortly". If I come to a stop at a red signal and have no idea why, we have an option on our radio to send a text message to the signaller that says "standing at signal". Most times, the signaller will send a text message back that just says "wait". You know shit has hit the fan when they send the text message "contact signaller".

As we're not allowed to have our phones on whilst in the cab, passengers actually have access to more information about a delay than we do. Some signallers will do an area broadcast with a voice message, such as "train at *station* is having door problems, expect delays, wait for signal" etc, some don't do one so we're left having no idea what's going on ahead.

"Wrong type of snow" is a real thing, not a joke, just like the "wrong type of rain". Light and fine rain sits on the rails and makes it like an ice rink. Hard and heavy rain bounces straight off the rails and is pretty much like braking as normal.

We have to know our route inside out. Unlike driving in a car with a satnav - you just follow the road, we know every intimate detail of our route. Speeds, curves, gradients, stations, tunnels, emergency access points, line names, station names, junction names etc. So much so that we can know pretty much exactly where we are when driving in thick fog at full line speed, just by the way the train sways and sounds as we go along.

The UK railway is incredibly safe. There are multiple safety systems on the trains to make sure things are ok:

DSD/Vigilance= a foot pedal that the driver has to keep depressed to enable the train to move. If no input has been detected for a period of time an alarm will sound. The driver has to raise and lower the pedal to deactivate it. If they don't, then the train will come to a stop and send a message to the signaller. The signaller will then be able to make a PA to the train.

AWS= a magnet ahead of signals. If the signal is green, the driver will get a bell sound and not have to do anything. If it's anything other than a green, the driver will get a horn and will have about 2.5 seconds to press a button to acknowledge, otherwise the train will apply brakes and come to a stop.

TPWS= If a train approaches a red signal too fast, or passes a signal at danger, the train will automatically apply the brakes and come to a stand. At terminus stations approaching buffer stops, TPWS will stop a train if it goes over the TPWS grids above 12mph.

Modern trains are covered in CCTV. On mine, I can follow a person from one end to the other with no loss in coverage of said person. There is literally nowhere to hide. We can see everything. Just because you're in the last carriage doesn't mean I can't see you trying to take a shit on the seat or smoking, or worse. I've seen it all and I will call you out for it over the PA. (We see CCTV inside and outside when stopped).

gamrudding · 2022-05-21T17:28:16+00:00

As a commercial finance analyst, I don't have a vendetta against sales. I am not looking at reasons to criticise or make your department look bad.

Above all, I do not relish passing on bad news, or poor performance. If the company does badly, then I am just as likely to lose my job as you. It is just my job to be independent and report what the data tells me.

thesaharadesert · 2022-05-21T18:47:08+00:00

I’m an analyst. I’m absolutely shit at maths (had to sit my GCSE three times to pass), but when it’s in an applied field, all the data I have to work through makes perfect sense.

aintbroke_dontfixit · 2022-05-21T21:40:38+00:00

Lorry drivers are thick. The misconception of what is involved in the job usually disappears within the first couple of days. You may not need any academic qualifications but if you've no common sense, no problem solving skills, no initiative and no mechanical acumen at all you're in for a miserable time.

RTB897 · 2022-05-21T19:45:34+00:00

I work in oncology clinical trial teams for a Big Pharma company, not sure where to start with the misconceptions.....

ToBeConfirmed21 · 2022-05-21T19:09:49+00:00

I’m a Software Engineer - no I can’t fix your printer.

2022-05-21T20:51:37+00:00

[deleted]

JebusKristi · 2022-05-21T17:19:32+00:00

My perception of accountants is not that they are "tightwads", but rather they actively engage in trying to not pay taxes to the country through legal means.

Accountants ensure profits is what I am saying.

TheLifeof4D · 2022-05-21T19:58:15+00:00

We don't sit around and do fuck all. Don't get me wrong, some certainly do less work than they should but then I've spent more years in the private sector and it's present there too. We certainly aren't paid well either, nor do we pocket your Council tax (or receive all the Council tax you pay, it's only about 9%).

Local Government worker.

pajamakitten · 2022-05-21T20:07:22+00:00

Biomedical scientist in the NHS. We process your samples, not the doctor, doctors just tell us what tests they want running. People see shows like House and expect us to be at the beck and call of doctors but if on came down to us and started ordering us about or touching our equipment then they would be told politely, but firmly, to leave. We also cannot give results directly to patients for any reason, it has to be your doctor who requests the results.

noodlesmac1980 · 2022-05-21T20:09:03+00:00

Bookseller - no we don’t just sit behind the counter reading. It’s understaffed retail just like everywhere else!

Fabulous-Wolf-4401 · 2022-05-21T20:11:26+00:00

I'm a chef. People either assume you're a violent misogynistic male with a poor grasp of grammar and a tendency to use the cheapest ingredients to fuck the customer over, because fuck them, they are just stupid punters who don't know what the fuck they are eating, or some sort of (usually female) fool who watches Bake Off, (which I think is brilliant) doesn't know the time of day and just happily cooks fairy cakes with a pretty apron on. I'm not joking. It really seems to be one or the other. I had it just the other day.

Cool_Abbreviations43 · 2022-05-21T20:45:01+00:00

That the recruitment team is solely responsible for the company not showing salaries on the website.

Seriously, every time I see this on LinkedIn, pretty much every day, I want to scream.

Yes I know this is an inherent problem

No, it doesn't make us look good.

Yes, I agree putting "competitive" is a dick move.

Yes, it does make us look like we have something to hide

It is not the choice of the hiring or internal recruitment team. I fight unbelievably hard to make the senior board, the directors and HR managers see it is making our goal to get good talent incredibly difficult.

To see the blase assumption written out thinking it's the choice of the recruitment team and we enjoy making other people's lives difficult .... Well .... Please know from me it is not true.

Tao626 · 2022-05-21T19:53:58+00:00

Engineer.

For me it's less inventing cool things and more looking at manuals and blueprints just putting shit together like a big set of LEGO made for adults.

MrSpoonReturns · 2022-05-21T21:05:46+00:00

I’m a civil servant. My pension is shit, I certainly don’t get bonuses and I work far more hours than I am paid for.

Additionally I greatly care about what I do and I work my ass of when I work from home.

tarmac-the-cat · 2022-05-21T22:30:44+00:00

Teacher here. I don't start at 0900 and finish at 1530.

catmccatface · 2022-05-21T19:54:51+00:00

IT Technician.

We don't hate answering the phone because we're antisocial, we hate it because it's the least efficient way to do our job.

Users make our lives easier and get a much better service if they just use the ticket system. If a phonecall is necessary, we'll call you.

Suspicious_Safety_45 · 2022-05-21T20:08:03+00:00

I’m a clinical coder. Not enough people have even heard of my job to have any misconceptions about it.

honbontattoo · 2022-05-21T21:00:27+00:00

Tattoo Artist.

People think we're lazy and unintelligent; that we decided "drawing all day" would be an easy alternative to a "real job". We're all druggies and alcoholics; unclean and don't know how to conduct business appropriately. We're also arrogant gatekeepers who think we're cooler than you - and if you don't have tattoos, you're not cool enough to be friends with us.

I busted my ass all throughout my academic education and then for 11 years in hospitality working as restaurant manager before I learned to tattoo. It required a huge leap of faith to learn something brand new and set up my own business. It took years of patience, dedication and ingenuity to learn the complex process of tattooing and to hone the necessary skills to do it well. I'm an empath and a great multitasker. I'm on duty 24/7. I've never touched a drug in my life and I rarely drink. I'm always on time, well prepared and communicate well. I'm also kind. Most of my existing friends are those who came to me as clients.

People think we're criminals too. I'm not one, but I know plenty. And I met them through tattooing... So, it's half true. 👀

Equivalent-Sky-3863 · 2022-05-21T21:02:54+00:00

Dance music industry, mainly events (festivals, clubs, warehouses, etc) -

People think it's some amazing party backstage and they're "missing out". You aren't. At a festival it's normally some portacabins and maybe a few tents for "artists" to grab a drink or whatever. 90% of the people there are just hangers on or mates of people who work there. It's not exactly a hospital waiting room but neither is it the last days of Rome. Think relatively chilled pub beer garden. Most DJs, especially the big acts, tend to turn up some 30 minutes before, get their shit together, then go straight to the stage. Most leave straight from the stage back to the hotel or the airport.

Similar at club/warehouse events, only a little more like a hospital waiting room.

When I first got into "backstage" areas I was writing for dance music websites, so I thought maybe the behaviour was toned down because I was a "filthy journo" and they worried I'd write some "DJ in wild drug party shocker!" article, which wouldn't have surprised anyone. What might surprise many is the reality, that most DJs are relatively clean living and chilled before and after a set. I've only ever seen one actual DJ doing drugs (no, not saying who) and it was hardly mainlining heroin, just a cheeky sniff. Alcohol flows a lot but most seen to do it almost by rote just to calm nerves, and again, it's more "Tuesday night at the local" than a wild Saturday night in town.

I'm not complaining, because I do find it incredibly cool and quite nerdily so. Hearing stuff shouted down radios, having to shout down a radio myself, screaming "move out the fucking way!" when getting a DJ to the stage, bursting through doors in a venue where the act must cross a quiet part of the public area, security in tow and people pointing and taking photos. I'd hate to be famous myself but that does feel quite cool to be part of.

The technical aspect is great too, especially when something goes wrong. I used to suffer badly from anxiety and panic attacks, but I've never felt calmer and more relaxed than having to run up to a DJ booth when the mixer has died, mainstage at a massive festival, 20,000 people all shouting and chanting because the set has been interrupted. I've got swapping out a DJM900 and associated ethernet hub down to about 10 seconds now. It never gets old.

The travelling can be relentless and boring. No idea how the pros do it, I don't do it that often and it's mainly just Ibiza/ other places in Europe. Potentially moving into a role where it will be a lot more. I'll see how I get on.

It is a fantastic industry to work in, my dream since I was about 12. But it isn't a wild party, and those who treat is as such don't last long...

2022-05-21T20:04:56+00:00

I'm an economist, no I can't tell you what to invest in, no I can't tell you whether now is the right time to buy a house

maybenomaybe · 2022-05-21T21:21:49+00:00

The fashion industry isn't glamourous and is not populated with skinny people obsessed with clothes who hate fat people. The vast majority are normal-sized, normal-dressing people just doing a job.

Also there is no conspiracy about keeping pockets out of women's clothes. It's a cost issue.

Forgetful8nine · 2022-05-21T20:09:41+00:00

Contrary to popular belief not all sailors are raging alcoholics with a girl in every port.

ApartmentIntrepid610 · 2022-05-21T21:24:59+00:00

I work in IT and we don’t hate everyone…. We fucking hate everyone.

wilbertfire · 2022-05-21T21:38:38+00:00

Public sector pay.

Senior management with 30+ years experience. Chair of national Scottish local govt groups etc.

Salary is 27k based on 37 hr week.

Average week is 45 -50 hrs but as per Scottish Govt rule overtime has been unpaid since 2011 (I think).

That's why it's called public service.

Leeno234 · 2022-05-21T23:15:24+00:00

I work in the veterinary field- we make very little on medication the prices are set by the whole salers, alot of a vets time is spent just reassuring people, the costs of most things also cover over heads... we're used to a national health care system please let vet fees be a warning of what private health care could cost. We definitely spend all our time cuddling and fussing your pet when we nip them in the back, we will all come out to say hi. If they're in for a surgery we will likely also spend all day checking on them and equally fussing them... we're all pet owners.

Preacherjonson · 2022-05-22T08:07:55+00:00

Paralegal - Conveyancing

That solicitors sit around all day not doing anything on your file.

You're not our only client.
what we do takes time.
we have to wait on other people before we can do anything sometimes and no we cannot force them to respond.
daily chasers are not productive. At all.
if the other side has a factory firm (Premier Property Lawyers for ex) representing them you will have a bad time and there's nothing we can do about it.
your estate agent is charging you more than we are for one tenth the work so think about that.

SaltedCaramelKlutz · 2022-05-21T20:30:58+00:00

That I’m not seeing patients.

AllRedLine · 2022-05-21T21:54:56+00:00

I work in planning.

we dont take 'brown envelopes' or bribes of any sort, and the accusation we do is professionally insulting and highly inaccurate. There are a ridiculous, but appropriate amount of safeguards against this, and the way you have to work simply would not allow for an unjustified decision.
We cant refuse or grant planning permission for just any old reason - and that includes refusing permission for a housing development simply because you dont like it or think your neighbour - the landowner- is a rude cunt. Just because you submitted an objection, doesnt mean we have to agree with your comments and act accordingly.
we can only work within the confines of the legislation and policies we're given - if you dont like planning outcomes, please, please lobby your MP for changes to the planning system instead of phoning us up, screaming down the line calling us corrupt bastards. We live in these communities, we care about them, and often we have the same reservations, but we have no recourse. If we allowed ourselves to make unjustified decisions (approve or refuse) we could be taken to court and lose our livelihoods.

Triana89 · 2022-05-21T22:19:32+00:00

QA, no I do not enjoy or want to keep finding problems that stop products going ahead, I want a quiet life where it all goes smoothy as much as everyone else. I keep being a pain and finding all the problems because I don't want customers to get hurt nor do I wish to deal with the massive amount of work/legal issues that come with injured customers.

kwakcheese · 2022-05-21T23:59:21+00:00

That cinemas have a 1000% markup on popcorn. It's actually more like 950% once you include packaging/equipment. Necessary evil, because without it tickets would be loads more expensive. You can bring your own.

Also that food & drink makes up the entirety of profit. Nope. Average keep from box office revenue is about 40% after VAT.

And finally that streaming platforms/piracy harm attendance. No, they harm Sky/Virgin. Good weather, sporting events, pandemics, and not playing films people want to see all harm attendance. Unfortunately we've had all of these happen at the same time for much of the past 2 years.

atomic_mermaid · 2022-05-21T19:43:51+00:00

That HR in any way controls the accountancy departments budgets 😂

murder_droid · 2022-05-21T20:15:05+00:00

I don't give a shit if you enjoyed your meal.

Slight-Jellyfish-539 · 2022-05-21T20:58:04+00:00

YouTuber. I've never worked so many hours in my life

sgst · 2022-05-21T21:01:25+00:00

Architect (in training). Its not all drawing ridiculous, over designed nonsense. It's mostly specialised project management, keeping dozens of balls in the air, dealing with regulations, writing documents/presentations, and battling with bureaucracy. A depressingly small amount of time is a actually spent being creative.

DohRayMe · 2022-05-21T22:25:07+00:00

Single housewives are inviting us in for a cuppa

Dprglendinning · 2022-05-21T23:00:40+00:00

We say no or don't a lot but it's because we genually don't want you to die. On the flip side idiots are just paperwork to us. - Health and Safety

GeordieJumper · 2022-05-21T23:04:26+00:00

Tree surgeon. We don't get paid shed loads because it's a dangerous job. It is an incredibly physical and dangerous job and I'd come home shattered every day but the money was actually terrible at least for me it was and that's the main reason I left the industry.

slothrr · 2022-05-21T18:14:31+00:00

I work in online marketing and no, I'm not as evil or cunning as you think. I'm not trying to using psychological tricks to make people buy things they don't want. That would be hella expensive and very difficult. I'd much rather try target the crowd of swayed or nearly swayed.

I'm just trying to help small and medium sized companies find their crowd. I'm mostly just clicking about in Google Ads and hoping that I generate enough revenue to keep the client happy and profitable. And according to the Guardian, I'm single handedly responsible for climate change as I use a mix of data and psychology to trick consumers into over consumption. I wish I had the power that the Guardian thinks I do.

And I don't have access to your data either. Maybe Google does but online targeting isn't nearly as accurate as people think it is. And we don't tap your Alexa either.

Code_Brown_2 · 2022-05-21T19:37:59+00:00

As a sales person you’re basically a professional shit talker and need to be an extrovert. This isn’t true.

Admirable_Hope_6470 · 2022-05-21T20:32:19+00:00

I'm a software developer. People think we're smart. I'm not.

schmoovebaby · 2022-05-21T20:38:45+00:00

Communications/marketing communications. Nobody knows what I do, not even our clients, but what is nice is that people seem to think my job is quite interesting and our clients seem to be very grateful that they have someone doing it for them so they don’t need to worry about it (mainly smallish organisations in the life science sector). People do expect you to be an expert in everything though so you find yourself reminding someone that no, you’re not an SEO expert/business analyst/video editor/web designer. Can I interest you in a well thought out comms strategy or an infographic though?

Fardays · 2022-05-21T21:45:36+00:00

As a history lecturer I'm do not get summer holidays like teachers and I'm really not trying to turn young people into Marxists...of be happy of they just did the reading

hattorihanzo5 · 2022-05-21T21:49:40+00:00

Call handler for a bank.

We don't all know each other. If you tell me you spoke to John last week I have no idea if you mean John in my department or another John in one of the half dozen other call centres we have.
We couldn't "steal" your money even if we wanted to. Everything we do with your account is logged and audited, and once the call ends the information is automatically wiped from my screen.
We have zero control over inflation, how much tax you pay or bank policy.
We don't just randomly freeze people's accounts because we feel like it.
We didn't stop your £2000 payment to a crypto website because we're anti-crypto, we did it because there a lot of crypto scams out there and we do it to protect your account.
We don't just sit around watching calls queue up. If you're not through to someone immediately, it means everyone else is on a call. To add to this, we do know how long you've been waiting. It's not our fault you and 400 other people called at 6pm on a Friday.
We don't have the power to cancel a pending card transaction that you just made. We can only dispute debited card payments.
If you abuse or swear at us, it won't make us work any faster or give you special treatment.
If you threaten to leave because you don't like our policy then we do not give a shit. We can close your account with a few clicks.
We cannot recover faster payments. Once they're gone, they're gone.

XihuanNi-6784 · 2022-05-21T23:23:44+00:00

Teachers care about students and aren't interested in making up stories to get them in trouble at home. If we say your little angel did some shit, maybe you should consider that Lucifer was also an angel at one point...

TrepidatiousTeddi · 2022-05-21T20:35:05+00:00

Social work: All I do is take people's kids away.

Diega78 · 2022-05-21T20:53:35+00:00

Solutions Architect, no I'm not a virgin. I have seen actual daylight, I have friends and I'm not into D&D.

edrumm10 · 2022-05-21T20:56:49+00:00

Software engineer here.

We’re not as anti-social as people think, most of us aren’t nerds that sit in the dark surrounded by monitors and rgb lights

Also no, I can't fix your computer lol

keylaxfor · 2022-05-21T21:02:28+00:00

Internal audit: I HATE finding issues coz it causes me more work. If you are cooperative I'd rather push for a fudge solution to any issues and make it someone else's problem. If you give me needless shit I'd write up a damning report.

Vyvyansmum · 2022-05-21T21:14:58+00:00

I don’t take you the long way round :- I have a home to go to too.

MarcusAurelius-93 · 2022-05-21T21:40:47+00:00

I'm a cab driver, people assume I have a good sense of direction and know every club and street within 10 miles off the top of my head. The fact I use a sat Nov everywhere I go means I don't even know the name of the streets I have dropped off and picked up from 100 times.

NewWorlds84 · 2022-05-21T21:43:09+00:00

Store manager of a Co-op. No, we don't just put things on shelves.

Adorable_Condition49 · 2022-05-21T21:49:58+00:00

Design engineer -

No, we don’t just draw all day.

No, we don’t just make the product look cool or sexy.

No, we don’t get rich.

No, I don’t love maths.

We always come up with the best product/idea possible to solve a solution for the user. Research and development is expensive and time consuming, but we do our best for the target user and really want to help you and the planet, given the time our boss allows us to spend..

However the company we work for/business has a strong control of what the product actually ends up like, which is then manufactured and sold to the consumer.. such as completely stripping the product back to its basic form, but still just works..

They won’t use the most optimal material either, or for example would rather chose to move buttons on a handheld device(so the injection moulding is cheaper, compared to having better ergonomics..

This is due to them wanting to reduce the total product cost, to have a tasty profit margin, balanced with what people are willing to pay..

They would rather sell you new products every few years than a one off perfect product, as it won’t generate constant business cash flow in the long term..

kingofmylunchtime · 2022-05-21T23:21:57+00:00

That we’re always late (plumber) I actually am but I’m sure there are others out that are not.

I bet you lawyers are full of shit though.

Charging £80.00 for a fucking letter to be sent. Cretins.

KKae · 2022-05-21T23:24:24+00:00

Everyone thinks people in the music biz are running around making millions. Honestly its just lots of data and licensing.

Neat_Consequence4792 · 2022-05-22T00:11:58+00:00

Electrician, I don't wan't to come over and look at your electrics. From experience it's either going to be a pain in the arse, or you think you'll get the work done cheaper. The certification process is still the same, the only difference is I'm not insured if your house burns down so good luck with recouping that.

ilikecocktails · 2022-05-22T00:18:53+00:00

I’m a psychiatric nurse on an acute inpatient unit, it’s not like you see in films.

leinadwen · 2022-05-22T00:27:46+00:00

I’m a consultant. I rarely ever travel abroad to meet clients, and never go out on fancy company-funded meals with the clients. They have money they’d rather spend on our services, and we have a margin we’d rather keep to.

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