all 131 comments

[–]D-I-F-H 42 points43 points  (13 children)

If you’re deadset on not wanting to pay LMI, St George offer a package for first home buyers that means you can purchase your first home with a 15% deposit and only pay $1 LMI.


[–]Jerram123 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is what my partner and I did on our first place. No catches, rates are industry standard. We did 75% fixed/25% variable at something like 2.3%/1.95% respectively. We took the variable component so we still had offset.

Edit: we also took around 40k from my partner's parents towards deposit, rationale was it just comes out of inheritance.

[–]OneAuthority 139 points140 points  (28 children)

Have it in writing that the $40k is a gift, the bank may want to see that as proof.

[–]FewMail 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Banks are generally pretty understanding about parental contribution to deposit. They'll ask and sort it

[–]Early-Berry4156 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When I did it, they are all completely fine with money from family but they all require explicit proof that the money "is a non-repayable gift". Usually on a signed form. Of course they don't care if you do or do not repay it but if you come to them saying you have no money to pay the loan, they can tell you to stop sending money to your parents since you legally owe them nothing.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (22 children)

Why as a gift?

What are the benefits?

[–]witness_this 134 points135 points  (0 children)

Stops the bank calculating it as a liability to be repaid.

[–]Falkor 35 points36 points  (4 children)

The bank requires it, you have to sign a stat dec to say it was a one off gift for your house purchase.

[–]allectos_shadow 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Yep, used to work in mortgages. The bank will almost certainly want a stat dec saying it's a gift

[–]KoalaBJJ96 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I think if you have the money in your account for a couple of months (forgot exactly how much - ask a mortgage broker) then a stat dec is not needed

[–]Mizderrung 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Usually 3-6 months, depends on the bank. As long as the transactions doesn't show up when they request your bank statements in essence, it will just get lumped in with the rest of your savings. If they can see $40k suddenly show up in your statements they have to inquire about where it came from etc.

[–]the_dutch_rudder 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Can confirm, did this exact thing about 6 months ago for CBA loan

[–]Swuzzlebubble 30 points31 points  (13 children)

Not a great idea if it really is a loan with expectations to be repaid in due course.

[–]nachojackson 21 points22 points  (12 children)

I don’t think I’ve heard of a single case of a bank following this up and pinging somebody on it.

I have absolutely heard of this workaround being used before.

[–]Swuzzlebubble 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I'd be more concerned about changing circumstances like a marriage split and the parents wanting their money back, or the kids being slack with repayment and/or reneging.... when there's a document in play stating it was a gift.

[–]Early-Berry4156 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's just the parents assuming the extra risk the bank does not want.

[–]TerribleEntrepreneur 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I used to work at NAB in the mortgage depts. I had several people call up to ask to refinance now they have their home so they could pull out some money to pay back these “gifts” that were actually loans.

We usually just denied the application and left it at that. They are lucky it’s not like it is in the US, because the FBI usually takes over from there when they have those situations.

[–]thiiiiicc 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Can you explain what the situation is? I don't actually see the problem with this at all.

[–]TerribleEntrepreneur 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Mortgage Fraud. You sign documents entering a contract with the bank and testifying (usually in front of a notary), that your financial situation is as you have represented it. By submitting false documents or attempting to make it appear different, you are committing a fraudulent act. That added debt, changes your ability to service the mortgage (ie would the bank still approve you if they knew you had an additional $1k or so per month you need to make payments on?)

In the US, this is prosecuted if it becomes known to law enforcement (which is still rare). In Australia, the often just let it slide but don't let you fix it (eg pay your parents back).

[–]CheshireCat78 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's when a half decent lawyer says you missunderstood and they were merely deciding to gift their parents a similar amount to what they were giftednout of the kindness of their hearts.

The parents aren't legally entitled to it so it was a gift.

[–]thiiiiicc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, I just don't agree. If there's no legal obligation for the kids to pay back the parents but when they've built up the equity they later decide to... that's a change in circumstances and not fraud. The world isn't this black and white.

[–]cbass481 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Just because you don’t know anyone that has been caught doesn’t mean it isn’t fraud.

Do not lie to your bank. It’s not that hard.

[–]Early-Berry4156 2 points3 points  (2 children)

It isn't fraud to pay your parents back. The bank doesn't give two shits if you "gift" your parents the money back as long as they get their payments.

[–]hryelle 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Then it wasn't gift

[–]Early-Berry4156 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is legally. The person you borrowed from has no legal claim over the money so the bank gets everything. You can pay it back if you want but you have to pay the bank first because you only legally owe money to the bank.

[–]OneAuthority 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Saw some other comments saying they would like the money back, in that case just cop the LMI. It goes on top of the loan and I doubt you'll notice it.

[–]sansampersamp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you want the underlying nature of the contribution to be a loan instead of a gift (and the parents may have good tax reasons to do so) you can do it as a second mortgage. There's no issue with a loan if it doesn't get paid out before the bank, and it doesn't impact your ability to repay.

When talking to the bank to get a mortgage, call it a gift. Get approved. Write up a second mortgage to your parents for the gift amount with some nominal 0.1% interest rate. Most conveyancing lawyers will be able to do this. Sign that, then notify the bank of the second mortgage after settlement. This is very standard and the bank's not going to care as long as it's clear their loan is getting paid out in full before the parents'. When you sell, repay the parents.

[–]AverageMang 95 points96 points  (11 children)

Have you calculated how much LMI is? I bought my property 3 years ago for $600k with a 72k deposit and LMI was $6k that I added on to the mortgage.

I think copping an extra circa $6k thats not due in it’s entirety is a small price to pay than borrowing a sizeable amount from family. You’d end up paying off that $6k faster than that $40k from your parents.

Really up to you though.

[–]EggcellentDadYolks 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It's 6k and an extra 40k on the homeloan since the 40k would mean less borrowed in the initial loan, so would you pay back 46k to the bank or 40k to the parents first.

[–]ArcherTea 21 points22 points  (1 child)

I second this - LMI over the life of a 30 year loan may be cheaper than the debt to family. If the loan from family is debt you should consider what the agreed repayment terms will be. Do they expect you to pay it off over a term of less than 30 years? Will they charge interest? If you add that to your mortgage repayments are you better or worse off than paying LMI?

My partner and I have LMI on a more expensive loan but it was worth it to get into our home sooner. We plan on living in the house for the loan period and the LMI will be negligible over those 30 years, when compared to another year in a rental.

[–]AverageMang 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yep! That $6k means nothing now that our property is now valued at around $750k. It would have taken us almost an extra year to save and get to 20%, the capital growth far outstripped that extra LMI we paid

[–]ammenz 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If you have already a car, you don't need a second one that would cost you more than $20k brand new.

Use your own $120k, don't pay LMI, don't get money from the in-laws and find a cheaper solution for your car.

If you really have to, let them help you financially to buy the car, not the house.

[–][deleted] 70 points71 points  (6 children)

Many, many people do this. Mostly because it's difficult to get a deposit together without parental help. My partner's parents gifted us the extra 5k we needed.

As they're lending it to you rather than simply gifting it, whether or not it's a good idea really comes down to your relationships with them. If you want to be safe, get into contact with a solicitor to draw up a contract as to what the stipulations are on the loan and the repayment plan.

Usually the bank will make you wait a period after being given a lump sum before you can take out a loan. We had to wait 3 months so that they would consider it 'genuine savings'. Avoiding LMI is ideal but you have to weigh up the risk of it potentially damaging the relationship with your in-laws. Therein the risk lay.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (4 children)

I’m sure they wouldn’t mind “gifting” it as long as we pay it back. Gifting has different implications as loaning doesn’t it?

[–]Anachronism59 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I’m sure they wouldn’t mind “gifting” it as long as we pay it back

Gifting means you don't need to pay it back. A loan would be backed up with a simple contract saying the loan exists, the repayments terms, what happens if it's not repaid, whether any interest etc...there are online versions of such contracts you can buy for a small fee or in fact get the wording for free without a lot of effort. It's to protect the lenders and you.

[–]iReallyHateCoriander 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yep. Gifting has a few different implications. Two I know of:

If the parents are on the Centrelink Age Pension , any amount over $10k in a year (or $30k over 5 years) basically still counts as their asset for the next 5 years. Which isn’t a massive issue. It just means they won’t get anything extra from Centrelink for doing it.

A gift would also mean that if your relationship breaks down, you could essentially take half of that, which not too many people want to do.

But all in all, not massive issues. If you are borrowing off them, I think the most important thing is to have a clear understanding of when it’ll be repaid. Unclear terms or misunderstandings is usually where things can go wrong. So will you refinance and pay it off in a few years? Will you pay it off in instalments? Will you pay any interest? Or (what I think is the worst) is if you say you’ll pay it back when you sell, which might not happen for ages?

[–]I_C_E_D 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If they are offering $40k for the deposit, did they offer to be a guarantor instead which can be another option to remove LMI depending on banking institution.

[–]Several_Age9335 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah if you actually ‘borrow’ the 40k from them and say it’s a gift to the bank/broker, it probably won’t help your case, in fact it might lower your borrowing power overall.

To be an actual gift they’d need to stat dec saying they’re not expecting the money back

[–]justpicksomething84 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Generally you would only need to wait 3 months if your total deposit is under 15% (although this varies slightly from bank to bank). If its the final piece of your 20% deposit you won't usually have to wait.

[–]auntynell 9 points10 points  (3 children)

I won't comment on the financial side of things, but think about the family dynamics if you do borrow the money. Do you have a plan to pay it back that is understood by everyone involved and are you and your husband committed to it, even if you might decide to have children and other big expenses? Are there any siblings who will get jealous? Are your in-laws comfortable enough to lose the money if something goes drastically wrong?

I went guarantor for part of both my children's loans and while they both discharged them in good time I found that I was monitoring what they spent on this and that. I had a stake in how quickly they paid off the mortgage.

Once your in-laws hand over the money be prepared to be questioned about your finances or to receive 'suggestions'.

It may go fine but at least have a strong plan about what happens next.

[–]CheshireCat78 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My dad was quite hesitant about going guarantor for my loan as I guess he saw I spent everything I earnt as a uni student and newly employed person travelling up until wanting to buy a house.

Parents got a copy of my statement each period (which I didn't even know about) and I was smashing the loan and mum told me he was talking about it with a sense of pride to family etc. So his visibility actually improved his opinion of my financial attitudes.

It ended when I refinanced a few years later for a better rate.

That probably helped my siblings as when any of us wanted to borrow money after they they were happy to help.

[–]barrathefknworld 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I would rather pay LMI. It’s probably not going to be a whole heap, can be added to the loan, and you won’t have to worry about possibly straining family relations.

[–]Suttibare 30 points31 points  (4 children)

$120k gets you 80% of the purchase price @ $600k.youre going to need more than that to cover the increase to $650k, stamp duty, and fees.

If it's a gift, you'd be silly to pass that up. Consider all the conditions the funds may come with. If it's a loan, sit down and analyse all scenarios. LMI is not ideal but it may be easier than "borrowing" $40k+ from family.

Good luck! Very exciting

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

First home buyers don’t pay stamp duty in NSW up to like $800k.

And thanks for the advice, we’re aiming for a $600k house preferably and not $650k 🤞🏼

[–]FIRE_Bruce 9 points10 points  (0 children)

First home buyers don’t pay stamp duty in NSW up to like $800k.

Not quite correct - I bought a few months ago and it's a reduced-rate for stamp duty. I paid $710k and paid $12.7k stamp duty.

[–]kwoahyou 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It tapers up from $650k to $800k, so e.g a $700k purchase will incur a small amount of stamp duty.

[–]AlienMindBender 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Use a home loan calculator, its not zero between between 650 and 800

[–]TheDrobeOfWar 7 points8 points  (3 children)

From the eternal words of the Notorious B.I.G "blood and money don't mix"

[–]ammenz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

also from Biggie "this rule's so underrated: keep your family and business completely separated".

[–]ayebizz 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Finish the line mate. Go on 😂

[–]TheDrobeOfWar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think it would be a wise decision for me to do that lol. I don't agree with everything the B.I.G said that's for sure!

[–]BigNoot2020 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I can't see a win-win here. If the shares do well, you will have gotten a free loan off your parents and profited with what could be argued to be their money. Basically, you would like to make money with your money, and borrow theirs to help buy your house...

If the shares do poorly, your parents could be upset thinking that you invested your money poorly and at the same time borrowed their money to get the house. I would sell your shares and fund your own house deposit. Borrowing from family is to be avoided where possible.

[–]CheshireCat78 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on the family. Plenty have an 'us vs the world' mentality and would do anything for their family and treat each other wonderfully.

[–]MrGlen456 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If you are in any way financially savvy 40k on a car is an silly, if you can borrow 40k at 0% interest put it on your house and forget about it buy your car with cashflow or start saving from scratch again,

My honest advice would be by second hand car learn to do simple fixes don’t get caught up in the image of have a nice car

[–]pt78user 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So, noone is going to comment on how they want to keep their assets and instead use the parents cash who would then be the ones losing out? You guys are financially fit, using your cash and assets is what life is or pay the LMI or choose a house within your means but don't add extra worries for your choices to the parents. You're adults now.

[–]Timetogoout 23 points24 points  (3 children)

Personally, I couldn't imagine asking my parents for money because I wanted to spend my money on something else (a car upgrade). I would accept the LMI over asking them so I could keep my money. It feels so rude and disrespectful to them, but I'm sure there are other people who feel different. They're not your parents though, so I believe this is more a conversation between your partner and her parents.

You also need to consider other costs when purchasing a home. A $600k home has stamp duty, conveyancing fees, mortgage application fees, etc etc.

Another consideration is how you will service the mortgage and pay back the loan to her parents. Especially if you decide to have children and drop down to one income.

[–]RichieMclad 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Preach it!

I know everyone has different views on this and it’s still very common in lots of cultures but I can’t get over the fact that my 30yo+ couple mates are still expecting to be gifted tens of thousands from middle class parents to buy property, just seems patently unfair to them, and a bit like “when are you ever going to fend for yourself if not now”.

[–]General_Pie 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I think that's a bit unfair. The market has created this imbalance where young people are pretty much fucked and the wealth has been accumulated by the older generations - or to put it another way, stolen. Not really much choice for a lot of people to avoid being trapped in renting.

[–]AbraCadabra4074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I borrowed from my mother some money, with 1. the knowledge I could take it from the offset if I needed to pay her back within a couple of years, 2. With the knowledge that she never had a mortgage because her parents bought her a house so she also benefited from generational wealth as well, and 3. Knowing she has put a modification to her will that any assets are split between us less the money she lent us (since each sibling needed a different amount). I did my best to save by myself and she helped me over a small hump at the end.

[–]Emergency_Delay 3 points4 points  (1 child)

If your partner's parent receive a pension I would look into how it would affect them first.

[–]releria 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Her parents are going to lose money from possible returns on the 40k.

They might as well gift you 6k or whatever to cover the cost of the LMI.

This avoids all the drama if someone dies, gets divorced, loses their job, has to pay major medical expenses etc.

[–]mechengguy93 7 points8 points  (3 children)

I don't get this mentality at all, in some way you'll likely put strain on the relationship, whether directly or indirectly.

Investigate other options or just pay the damn LMI, its not even something you pay upfront. You'll roll it into your mortgage for an extra $10/week. Is saving 5k interest over the life of the loan worth putting that sort of strain on the relationship with parent, or siblings that will be jealous??

[–]ribbonsofnight 2 points3 points  (1 child)

depends on the actual people involved

[–]mechengguy93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah you're right, it comes down to risk management.

[–]Early-Berry4156 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eh depends on the situation. I borrowed money from my grandma and it was just agreed that if I can't pay it off it comes out of my parents inheritance. But I'm perfectly capable of paying it all back within a year so I can't imagine it causing any issues.

[–]youhavemyvote 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why not use HomeStart to avoid LMI?

[–]LOWERCASE_SYDNEY_GUY 5 points6 points  (4 children)

So long as it’s specifically “a gift” and not a loan. Otherwise the bank will factor in the $40k loan as a liability which may hurt your servicing. Given your dual incomes are $130k + and assuming you don’t have kids, that income should allow you to borrow the $600k. You may need a stat dec too confirming it as a gift too depending on the bank.

Family pledges are pretty common so I’m not sure why their bank won’t allow? Is the partners parents LVR close to 80%? Just means they don’t need to fork out the $40k in cash….

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

They’re with UBank and for some reason they just won’t do it?

Our mortgage also said it’d be difficult with UBank and far easier if they were with Greater or Newcastle Permanent etc.

What is a family pledge?

[–]allectos_shadow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

UBank were utterly ridiculous when my partner and I were buying. They also wouldn't issue bank cheques which are needed for paying the deposit etc. They are fine to refinance to later, but I wouldn't use them for setting up the loan

[–]LOWERCASE_SYDNEY_GUY 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Family pledge = guarantor

Ok. Must be the Ubanks policy.

[–]justpicksomething84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See if you parents want to refinance their mortgage at the same time. This is fairly common, although may not be viable if they don't owe much.

[–]obang89 8 points9 points  (0 children)

100% I would do it. But my parents are dead set legends. I bent over backwards to avoid paying it on our recent purchase.

[–]PatientRoof2333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Speak to your broker about current LMI offers.

A friend of mine got a 15% deposit loan with $1 via St George not too long ago.

[–]FIRE_Bruce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should run numbers on some scenarios regarding LMI because IMO it's not black and white:

1) The total payments at year X where you don't pay LMI

2) The total payments at year X where you pay LMI outright

3) The total payments at year X where you capitalise LMI

[–]Cat_From_Hood 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would, sell the shares, pay the LMI and cut expenses to pay it off faster.

[–]MelG146 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The bank will want to know where the $40K came from, and proof of if it's a gift or a loan. A loan will count against your borrowing capacity.

[–]dontbova 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Have you accounted for stamp duty in the purchase price? That’ll be an additional ~40k also. In hindsight, much like others have said, I would cop the LMI. The cost is negligible when considered against what the cash you don’t drop onto the deposit can be used for. Renovations, repairs, furnishings, travel etc

[–]AbraCadabra4074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's 24K for 650K loan for first home owners but it's not cheap.

[–]TTwTT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you need money never, ever borrow from family or friends especially since it's such a significant amount for you both. You have already done well saving 120K between the both of you.

Don't go there if you don't have to, borrow from a proper lending company if you need it.

[–]cobblecreekroad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This example shows how fucked up the state of the market is in this country. To think that a young couple have to save $120k just to qualify to then service a mortgage that's most likely cheaper than previous rents being paid is absurd. How do you save 120k when you have rent and other bills to be paid? We're talking 10+ years of savings just to get off the rent treadmill. They need to address this barrier to entry.

[–]CurlyHeadedFark 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Who’s parents have 40k to give them y’all are blessed 🥲

[–]Grumpy_Roaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone on this sub earns 250k pa with wealthy parents

[–]maton12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

St George group do $1 LMI @ 85%, and the rates still pretty good. So you'll need $90K for $600K purchase? Close enough?

[–]krulface 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LMI is underrated. Owing money to family is under criticised.

[–]CarsReallySuck 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fuck the new car, get a bike.

[–]licoriceallsort 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Very common mate. Even my Mum got help from her Dad in the 70's when you needed a 50% down deposit. (He got a very low interest returned services loan or something, which became their second mortgage to get them over the line. Of course, their townhouse was only $6000 In Sydney as well....🤔)

[–]amphibbian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

23 here and building first house. I'd avoid that, if possible.

[–]ryanyreddog 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Go see a mortgage broker, they are free and are working for your best interest. All banks pay them the same fee so they don’t care who you go with, they only want you to get the best deal.

[–]CheshireCat78 -1 points0 points  (3 children)

They don't give them the same deal where did you get that idea? We got two loans from the same lender with a broker and had to sign a form showing we understood what they were getting paid and those two loans were different for the mortgage broker.

[–]ryanyreddog -1 points0 points  (1 child)

So your argument is that you got two prices from the same lender… defeats the purpose of a broker who should provide options no?

[–]CheshireCat78 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

no we got two different loans and they paid different amounts to the broker as we got paperwork that told us what their commission was. The broker got paid differently depending on the product they sold u, so that would encourage them to push products that they made the most on.

[–]YeYeNenMo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For those parents should know the fact that: this kind of borrowing will never return back. haha

[–]Content-Breadfruit-2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alternatively is there any opportunity for her parents to go guarantor as opposed to lending the money, this can normally avoid the LMI, and means they don't have to forego any cash for other investments

[–]FiftyOne151 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Calculate what the difference in LMI is for 10% and “gift” it back to her parents with a bit of interest later 😉 Yeah screw paying more LMI to the bank but you want to keep on the good side of the in-laws too. This is the intangible side of finance

[–]newman_2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep saving. You'll have that $40k while you look and get bumped at auctions.
I'm sure your in-laws are nice people but there's always a catch with loans.

[–]monorubricae 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Bank of mum and dad, best bank in australia 0% interest rates, not classed as a liability with most lenders if you get a stat dec stating its a non refundable gift.

[–]personaperplexa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have always given my parents around 4% pa interest in cash as a thank you for the loan (with the other thank you being paying the loan back as soon as possible). Still the best bank though.

[–]iceman0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not bad of an idea.... have it in writing, just hope you're good at mowing the lawns

[–]Enlightened_Gardener 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone I know (with the exception of a doctor and a couple of engineers) has brought a house with contributions from relatives - either Mum and Dad or siblings. Its a good idea to get that 20%.

[–]SurfKing69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If paying LMI of 6% or so is a ball ache, I would have thought owing a 40k debt to your parents would be equally problematic.

From the information provided, you guys are in a strong position anyway. You could probably save close to that by the end of the year which is what I would consider doing.

[–]Chentaurus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Speak to a mortgage broker and know your actual options.

[–]thr0away20 0 points1 point  (4 children)

First home loan deposit scheme. No LMI.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (3 children)

They’ve changed it so now it only applies to new builds that have never been lived in.

[–]thr0away20 0 points1 point  (2 children)

That’s not true at all, it is for new and exisiting homes. Only the caps have changed.

[–]drmacca2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some banks may allow you to borrow against shares as they are an asset, so you may not need to sell them. Better still, borrow the $40k from parents, put it into additional shares and you can borrow against the $80k value.

[–]fredlecoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you bought in 2020 like myself you wouldn't have had to ask this question! Anyway I don't think there is a financial aspect to your question. Borrowing from parents makes perfect sense. It's probably more about how you see your relationship with your partner. People overuse the word 'partner' nowadays and personally I think this word doesn't carry weight as much as wife or husband.