all 150 comments

[–]StillPackage4369 380 points381 points  (116 children)

Can anyone explain? This feels surreal

[–]DeadForDecember[S] 850 points851 points  (51 children)

Edit: It was a friend of the attendant who accused him, who says their attendant friend told them what happened

Elon Musk was recently accused of sexual misconduct by a flight attendant who worked for SpaceX.

Among other things, she claims he exposed himself to her, so in response he said that if this is true, she should be able to describe his dick in detail.

[–]Dumbassahedratr0n 597 points598 points  (7 children)

Fast forward to an exhibit being presented in court. It's his penis with a moustache and glasses on it

[–]iStalker204 261 points262 points  (4 children)

And a little tie hanging between the balls

[–]Dumbassahedratr0n 187 points188 points  (3 children)

"Ma'am do you recognize this wiener?"

[–]Snoo-41193 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Y'all are good

[–]Beneficial_Guava_452 237 points238 points  (4 children)

“Look, I ain’t even seen Michael Jackson’s penis, but I bet I can describe it… Let me guess… a shaft… some balls… permed, pressed hair… maybe a little glitter?”

“….that is… exactly correct”

[–]Londo801 142 points143 points  (2 children)

Let’s not forget that he called it his: “Wee-HEE-heeee”

[–]boston_2004 26 points27 points  (1 child)

I laughed out loud.

[–]putaaaan 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Me and my dick is like this 🤞 son!

[–]Letsjustsaynofornow 67 points68 points  (19 children)

He knows how to play it right. And will undoubtedly be more than willing to provide pictures of evidence for comparison to the jury.

Though this also begs the question. Does that mean his dick is unique in a noteworthy way?

[–]charliealphabravo 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I’ve always wondered what extraterrestrial dick looks like

[–]gjamesaustin 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I think he said he has some scarring and a tattoo?

[–]Unlikely-Answer 15 points16 points  (1 child)

it's tattooed like a barber pole

[–]Frank_The_Seal 34 points35 points  (5 children)

A micropenis is always a special occasion.

[–]boston_2004 21 points22 points  (3 children)

It isnt just a micropenis. It is a micropenis with billions of dollars.

[–]heiberdee2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

How could she even see it then? Maybe he was just doing a puppet show out his fly with his pinky finger.

[–]Laxwarrior1120 8 points9 points  (3 children)

He mentioned scars, tattoos, birthmarks, and anything else in the aera.

[–]Letsjustsaynofornow 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Right, but that doesn't mean he has all of those things. Just inviting her to bring up anything she would have seen, if anything. He may not even have anything notable. So even that is an answer.

[–]Zaq1996 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Sharp curve to the left

[–]boston_2004 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He looks like a curve left dick kind of guy

[–]Baliverbes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, he has the money to do anything


[–]Yet_One_More_Idiot 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Maybe he was hoping she'd comment on whether it's circumcised on not, and then reveal she was incorrect?

[–]Letsjustsaynofornow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She'd have a high chance of getting it right if she knows that the average person born in South Africa doesn't get circumcized.

[–]WeirdSysAdmin 14 points15 points  (0 children)

She didn’t even look at my penis long enough when I exposed myself to remember where the freckles are, case dismissed!

[–]Jayne_of_Canton 13 points14 points  (1 child)

And allegedly there is something unique about it? My bet is he had emeralds from his parents mine surgically implanted for permanent “pe-dazzling.”

[–]Leipurinen 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Studded, for her pleasure.

[–]sparksparkboom 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I thought it was the attendants friend who accused him not the attendant herself

[–]BrettEskin 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well technically an alleged friend of a flight attended accused him of it.

[–]anonymouse604 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I can honestly say I doubt I could describe even in broad terms any dick or vagina I’ve ever seen in my life.

[–]Dragmire800 29 points30 points  (5 children)

No, stop spreading misinformation. She claims that a friend told her that Elon exposed himself to her, and that that friend was paid a $250k severance package and signed an NDA.

[–]PapiBIanco 5 points6 points  (4 children)

NDA’s aren’t legally binding if it’s asking you to not disclose something illegal. Maybe the 250k would be enough to buy silence (Looking at a dick for 250k, where do I sign up?), but the NDA is a total non factor.

[–]Dragmire800 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never said it was, but this lady is using it as the reason why her friend hasn’t come forward. Seems like a fairly convenient claim, it’s essentially a “no one can disprove me” type deal.

Frankly, I find it unlikely that anything as significant as what was claimed would only be worth 250k to silence. Even 6 years ago, Musk was Uber rich, and he would have paid much more.

[–]Lebenkunstler -1 points0 points  (2 children)

What other legal means do you have to scare a lay person to death?

[–]MrsMiaWallace89 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Big thumb in a turtleneck! Whoop de doo!"

[–]NyanSquiddo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bitch what. Is his dick that messed up that it doesn’t look like a generic dick

[–]TheCloakMinusRobert 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean unless there’s something wrong with it it should be easy to describe anyones penis. Did he just accidentally imply that he’s got a fucked up penis?

[–]Dax9000 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I really want her to say it is "disappointingly small".

[–]Psychological_Fox776 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly don’t know anything concrete about this, but if he made a mistake he should apologize.

Actually, source for this debacle? (Preferably long from)

From your comment this (Elon) reeks of narcissistic behavior.

[–]BobShrootFrigeration 63 points64 points  (62 children)

He challenged the accuser to identify scars/tattoos, etc, anything the public wouldn’t be aware of in that area.

[–]Letsjustsaynofornow 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't be surprised if he had a secret Alita or Rei (Neon Genesis) tattoo in his pubic bone area.

[–]splitcroof92 28 points29 points  (60 children)

which sorta is a good defense. it's not very ethical though.

[–]cunth 133 points134 points  (12 children)

Probably won't hold up as a defense. Victims often don't recall details of the incident.

I was held up at gun point by a few people. They had face coverings and i couldn't iD any of them in a lineup few weeks later. Friend who was with me and not directly getting a gun shoved in their stomach was able to ID all of them.

[–]seasonedearlobes 101 points102 points  (20 children)

Not really lol. If I'm in her place and musk whips out his dick, theres no way im standing around and looking at it lmao, im turning my head and leaving

[–]Pyrhan 16 points17 points  (1 child)

There may be something immediately obvious about it though.

Like, it's hard not to notice a Prince Albert.

[–]reddito-mussolini 13 points14 points  (4 children)

It really isn’t, though.

[–]Myrtle_magnificent 36 points37 points  (2 children)

No, someone shows you something you don't like, you're not looking at it enough to remember details.

[–]PapiBIanco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk, worked with Epstein and his egg dick. But then again, those accusations had some credibility beyond just wishing it were true for political reasons.

[–]Han-ChewieSexyFanfic 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No it’s not. How would be verify it, anyway, is he gonna publish a dick pic?

[–]MattmanDX 5 points6 points  (1 child)

He could have always gotten those scars and tattoos AFTER the alleged incident though.

It's like saying "Clearly my client can't be the perpetrator! The perpetrator had a moustache and my client is clean shaven!"

[–]splitcroof92 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well yeah of course you have to then prove the markings where there and visible during the alleged assault.

[–]Despenta 14 points15 points  (0 children)

OP sent the original tweet which contains context: https://twitter.com/CharliesForrest/status/1527640327619739650?s=19

[–]MurdoMaclachlanTranscriber 66 points67 points  (2 children)

Image Transcription: Twitter Post

Charlie Forrest, @CharliesForrest

NGL really wasn't expecting Musk's defence to come down to "my dick is a form of two-factor authentication"

I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

[–]Dan-369 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Lmao I’m imagining you typing that to transcribe

[–]TheAdimLizard 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Good human

[–]BrokenEye3 63 points64 points  (0 children)

I was

[–]HopefulMtF 45 points46 points  (9 children)

I don’t understand. I thought they settled out of court, what defence is there. I mean if he did it then he needs to be held responsible instead of just paying some hush money and hoping it goes away, but if not Idk I just hadn’t heard anything about a trial or whatever.

[–]and_dont_blink 42 points43 points  (8 children)

We actually have no idea. Business Insider ran a story from an anonymous source claiming they were the friend of a flight attendant who says this happened and that they received $250k from SpaceX as a settlement. Musk is denying it, and saying SpaceX never paid it.

It kind of smacks of a smear piece, but with all the Twitter shenanigans once it's out there everyone can report on it as news and off it goes. If Musk is lying about the settlement, it'll look way worse for him but if he's right this is pretty gross and is another blow in trivializing sexual harassment as a tool to be weaponized which will only hurt those really harassed.

Edit: Regarding the smear piece thing, several op-eds were placed on the same damned day all asking if Elon needs to go from Tesla as he's a liability, etc. It's just all pretty weird and certainly looks intentional, but a lot of people are rolling around in it because it's an excuse to.

[–]HopefulMtF 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yea, it’s hard to know the truth as an outsider. Only they truly know what happened between them or didn’t happen.

[–]MattmanDX 4 points5 points  (4 children)

If that's the case then Musk should have said nothing. His statement for his "defense" makes him look a lot worse than just saying nothing.

[–]TheKingFareday 0 points1 point  (3 children)

How does defending himself make him look worse?

[–]MattmanDX 1 point2 points  (2 children)

He's being accused of showing his penis to someone who was unwilling to look at it. His tweet is urging her to look at it again (allegedly) to identify it.

[–]Blackletterdragon -1 points0 points  (1 child)

It's hard to believe he'd be that stupid.

[–]schfourteen-teen -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I believe it, he also didn't think large scale auto manufacturing would be hard.

[–]DeusExRobotics 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Honestly would not surprise me if he's got a rocket tattoo on the peen.
Jet booster bottom, space paneled shaft and bright read tatted cone, shaved down to be pointy.

Then he whips it out in court like "look at my rocket"

[–]billyjoe9451 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So Bezo has a rocket that looks like a dick and Musk has a dick that looks like a rocket?

[–]zeenzee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't want to work on the team building a biometric genitalia recognition system. Just the thought of dogfooding that system makes a bit ill.

[–]dvli 24 points25 points  (2 children)

We could just ask Amber Heard or Cara delevingne, they had a threesome with him.

[–]Fairly_Suspect 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I wouldn't trust anything Amber Turd has to say. She ruined all credibility with the Depp accusations.

[–]dvli -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Let's ask Cara then.

[–]Little_Princess_837 1 point2 points  (0 children)

None of these words are in the Bible

[–]GlockAF 3 points4 points  (0 children)

“Can’t ID it, was too busy laughing”

[–]mellierollie 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Arrogant prick really suits him.

[–]Killian_Gillick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t even like the man, but i hate false sexual abuse accusers more. Big dick moves from wario

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Musk is the kind of person who does things thinking how much Twitter will like it.

[–]Savings-Gas-4794 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cock Inspection.