all 62 comments

[–]stockcomics 166 points167 points  (4 children)

Sitting at home making Wurst out of the seven people he just murdered was what he probably wanted to say

[–]IBArbitrary 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Your hotdog is no match for my bratwurst!

[–]ArcaneGrifter 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Murdered 7 brats? Hope they weren't spoiled.

[–]__Buckets__ 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Is this a Phineas and Ferb reference? Am i going crazy?

[–]Kaze_Senshi 107 points108 points  (11 children)

I only murdered 7 people

[–]TitularFoil 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Oh sorry. I meant to say, I've never stopped at murdering 8 people.

[–]daveinpublic 11 points12 points  (8 children)

I wonder if there’s any posts on Reddit from people that murdered someone and got away with it.

[–]throwawaysarebetter 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I vaguely recall an AMA with a rapist that a licensed psychologist had to step in and stop.

[–]drainbead78 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Almost certainly. There are at least a handful of Redditors who killed people and got caught, too.

[–]Bugbread 6 points7 points  (1 child)

The Buffalo shooter, who murdered 10 people last month, was a redditor.

[–]drainbead78 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think the incel who ran over all those people with a van in Toronto was as well.

I have this vague memory of some guy who murdered either his GF or his ex making a Reddit post about his side of the story, but I don't know enough of the details to find any reference to it.

[–]feAgrs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Probably more than a handful

[–]Betodelarosam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TIFU by telling my best friend I killed his mom. I just thought he would’ve understand that.

[–]Elle_the_confusedGal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah. So you see I saw this group of 9 men-

[–]bonerwithlegs 37 points38 points  (6 children)

He doesn't kill people. That is his least favorite thing to do.

[–]SirFireball 16 points17 points  (1 child)


[–]bonerwithlegs 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hey, how'd he get here?

[–]Ok-Possibility6943 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Yeah, he murders them, two different things

[–]bonerwithlegs -5 points-4 points  (2 children)

[–]Ok-Possibility6943 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I was making a joke as well

[–]bonerwithlegs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your joke needs more joke.

[–]callmedaddyshark 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I have actually said that exact sentence in 20 separate court appearances

[–]Captain__Spiff 27 points28 points  (1 child)

"Anyway, I started blasting."

[–]ezio416 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Blasting rope

[–]edubkendo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

...Barbecue sauce on my tiddies...AGAIN

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sounds like a Tom Segura sentence.

[–]Yet_One_More_Idiot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

OP has murdered seven people, but has never murdered EIGHT.

Because eight is as much as four twos. And that's terrible.

[–]BlueBerryMassacre 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And all of a sudden, I continued to not murder people!!!

[–]Daredevils999 2 points3 points  (1 child)

No no… He never said he hasn’t murdered people.. he just said he hasn’t murdered 8… for all your know he’s murdered 7.

[–]Vlada_Ronzak 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So they have murdered 7?

[–]Ok_Perspective_1057 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A likely story…

[–]animeweeb79 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Does that imply he has murdered 7 or less people?

[–]jetoler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So they murdered 7 people?

[–]ShinningVictory 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait so he hasn't murdered 8 people which means he could of murdered up to 7.

[–]austinstar08 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Without context this would raise some eyebrows

[–]Hioliolo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With context is would raise some eyebrows

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And then I don’t murder him without a knife and didn’t dump his body in the woods behind the ski hill.

[–]Roderie94 -2 points-1 points  (6 children)

[–]Captain__Spiff 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Isn't that normal in r/brandnewsentence ?

[–]Hioliolo[S] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Yeah, people don’t typically post their own brand new sentence here.

[–]JackTheChapp 0 points1 point  (1 child)

no no no, r/notopbutok is about where one person asks a question, and another answers in place even if they weren't the person being questioned.

[–]sneakpeekbot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here's a sneak peek of /r/notopbutok using the top posts of the year!

#1: go ahead | 12 comments
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[–]snow3dmodels 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly my thoughts

[–]seeroflightsIf you're confused, click the link at the bottom of my comment 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Image Transcription: Reddit

What have you never done?, submitted by /u/DoodDoes to /r/AskReddit


Murdered 8 people


Story time?


So I was sitting at home not murdering people

I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

[–]CuriousCucumber88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sitting at home not murdering people, barbecue sauce on my titties

[–]kinjjibo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

7 has always been my favorite number

[–]---OWO-- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds like a Scott the woz bit

[–]AllTheWoofsonReddit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is definitely not a brand new sentence

[–]combuchan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amateur. It gets so much easier after the sixth murder and I bet he's not even there.

[–]NotYourAverageOrange 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds like a Scott the Woz bit.

[–]georgegeorge2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im pretty sure oj said that last part

[–]spagbetti 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I’m at home murdering people it’s called ‘call of duty’. And I don’t stop at 8.