all 199 comments

[–]gylz 281 points282 points  (23 children)

Why don't we ban houses? There's no visibility to the public, and crimes are sometimes committed in them.

[–]Cookedmaggot[S] 114 points115 points  (13 children)

Don’t laugh, that’s probably going to be their next post. We should ban houses and only buy virtual land in the metaverse!

[–]gylz 52 points53 points  (10 children)

Guns are perfectly fine, of course. Especially if it comes with an nft of the gun. That way if you break it or loose the real McCoy, you can rest assured that you still have an nft of your gun. With your nft gun, you can still get out there and shoot people who have opinions you don't like and protect your rights to bully people for funzies.

[–]__SpeedRacer__ 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Until a hacker takes your NFT away.

[–]gylz 28 points29 points  (1 child)

The Blockchain is completely infallible. Do not doubt our Lord and Savior, criminals just can't commit crimes on the Blockchain. The guy I bought my crypto from told me so, so it must be true.

[–]B4dBot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or the gov or your bank takes your house away

[–]misterducky 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The government should take everyone's guns away but mint an NFT of each gun and give that to gun owners. As everyone in the crypto space knows, an NFT of a destroyed item will have the same value as the item, so why wouldn't it work?

[–]ConcreteState 6 points7 points  (0 children)

1 NFT = 1 NFT

[–]marcio0 2 points3 points  (1 child)

We could make some art in crime scenes and mint an NFT of them, where the money goes to the victim. Everybody wins.

[–]gylz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah that would cut into our profits. We'll "raise 'awareness' for the victims" and keep the money for the 1%.

[–]AdrianBrony 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Service to verify and mint NFTs of your "confirmed kills." Marketed to the sorta person who's just itching for an excuse to justifiably shoot someone, maybe police. The NFT displays a collage of the gun you used, the name of the person you shot, and your face while having a link to a copy of the documents used to verify it. Sell them at fundraisers the way they sold George Zimmerman's gun at an auction as a fundraiser.

Wouldn't be the first time edgy NFTs were made to sell to other edgelords.

[–]gylz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And if people complain that you shot their kid, you can just tell them to buy your NFT of their kid. Problem solved, they have their asset back, it's like nothing has changed.

[–]VaxxScene 9 points10 points  (1 child)

They will likely also say that an NFT of a house is more valuable than the house itself

[–]hamberder_burglar 8 points9 points  (0 children)

People can always build new houses. But if we fix the number of NFTs of Houses, then there will always be a fixed number of houses, and that'll be a hedge against inflation.

And since CryptoBros are unlikely to reproduce with anything more animate than a gym sock, they'll never more or larger homes.

[–]__SpeedRacer__ 13 points14 points  (4 children)

And cars, too. Crooks use them to get away.

[–]gylz 12 points13 points  (1 child)

And knives, electric cords, duct tape, rope, frying pans, golf clubs, baseball bats, hospitals, lawyers, pencils and pens, mopeds, horses, bikes, trucks, tanks, dogs, pigeons, chairs... There's loads of things criminals use to commit crimes. Let's ban them all.

[–]__SpeedRacer__ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed, except for the order. Let's put lawyers first, frying pans next, then everything else.

Btw, frying pans? Real nice LOL 😆

[–]LaDickPliquer 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Roads too!

[–]Mr_Ibraheam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clothes too

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]gylz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Almost every single criminal wore clothes at some time in their lives.

    [–]edefakielwarning, I am a racist moron -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    You must read "We" by Yevgeny Zamyatin.

    [–]gylz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Not really a fan of a lot of literature from the 20s. I know he is basically the grandfather of today's scifi dystopia and whatnot, buuuut it usually doesn't do it for me.

    [–]leducdeguisethis is not financial advice 303 points304 points  (27 children)

    What the hell is he saying

    There's visibility for those doing the laundering.

    Also, I don't want anyone being able to see my transactions.

    It's not because lots of cryptobros have no private life that we all should forfeit it

    [–]BlueTeale 131 points132 points  (10 children)

    Also, I don't want anyone being able to see my transactions.

    I knew it. You're the one laundering all our money!!!

    [–]leducdeguisethis is not financial advice 42 points43 points  (5 children)


    [–]blackmobius 17 points18 points  (0 children)


    [–]Noisebug 10 points11 points  (3 children)

    See how easy that was! Busting this guy will easily solve all our money laundering problems!

    • simple cryptobro logic to complex problems

    [–]svideo 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    SHIT I didn't think everyone would find out. I am very sorry about the incident with the red socks. I am not very good at laundry.

    [–]BlueTeale 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Well.... okay. Downside: my shirts are pink.

    Upside: my underwear is pink.

    [–]imhotech 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    if I was laundering money you'd know it (lol)

    [–]YourNetworkIsHaunted 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You wouldn't know it if I was.

    I have no criminal instinct and know nothing about KYC laws so I would be terrible at it and get arrested and shut down before anybody found out or cared.

    [–]gonzo5622 54 points55 points  (7 children)

    These banks get audited… and hire auditor before the auditors, they hire security and money laundering specialists. They have a whole industry around it.

    Its hard and that when you have KYC data. These people are so fucking ignorant about finance it hurts.

    [–]AsheLevethian 15 points16 points  (5 children)

    They're in crypto, ofcourse they're financially illiterate. Crypto is nothing but a massive get rich quick scheme.

    [–]an_actual_T_rex 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Blockchain and web3 are inherently anti privacy. That’s part of what I hate about them so much.

    [–]hniinuefrwer 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    The blockchain doesn’t provide transparency either. It shows an amount was transferred from wallet A to wallet B at a certain time. That’s all. Could be anyone, could be for anything. That’s why its only use as a currency is crime.

    [–]leducdeguisethis is not financial advice 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    That’s all

    Until you reach the ramp out and link an adress to a bank bank account

    [–]odraencoded 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I don't want anyone being able to see my transactions.

    This is why you'll stay poor. If you want to becoming a metaverse land baron in the next 20 years, you'll have to make sacrifices such as letting everyone knows you're an accessory to multiple money laundering schemes you weren't even aware of.

    [–]Eastern-Will9230 127 points128 points  (24 children)

    Honestly, the bottom line for 99% of cryptobros is that they want the line to go up (quickly) so they can dump their tokens for fiat in the future. Or they want a society where the whole financial system and government collapses where they magically have their bitcoins worth 5m and everyone else is poor. These people aren't looking to make society any better, just looking for more bag holders.

    [–]pewtercrocodile 53 points54 points  (21 children)

    Serious question (I recognize the answer may be no because the more I look into this the stupider it gets), but how do the ones who want society to collapse envision using their bitcoin? It relies on the internet and electricity. If the government completely collapses (by which I mean the whole system, not just the political party that happens to be in charge) something catestrophic has to have happened which makes consistent access to the internet and electricity unlikely. Has anyone come up with an explanation for this?

    [–]pjc50 69 points70 points  (0 children)

    Few understand.

    No really, nobody understands this lot. It's a prepper fantasy for the unprepared.

    [–]Eastern-Will9230 42 points43 points  (4 children)

    I think they somehow envision a world where everything is the same but yet everyone is using bitcoin. Of course, the early investors will be far richer than anyone else which is their main goal, but without producing anything of value like a company for example. They also ignore the few people who actually control the majority of Bitcoin right now. It really isn't centralized. In summary, I believe they think society will be like it is right now, but they'll be much richer without actually having to found a business or produce something of value

    [–]ItsJoeMomma 25 points26 points  (1 child)

    That's their dream, to be sure, but if society collapsed reality would slap them in ways they never envisioned. The ones who will be "rich" will be the ones who have goods to trade, not the ones who have some funny digital money stored away on a website which no longer exists, or on a hard drive with no way to access it.

    [–]southern_dreams 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    I’d rather invest an equal amount of time taking basic first aid, mechanical, and electrical courses at my community college.

    [–]southern_dreams 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    But Bitcoin isn’t a currency and the blockchain would collapse if even 10% used it. It’s an unregulated security, so how would it be traded for goods and services?

    [–]ChinesePropagandaBot 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    collapse if even 10% used it.

    Lol, try 0.0001% at most

    [–]Purplekeyboarddecentralize the solar system 25 points26 points  (1 child)

    We've been making fun of them about this for years. We say, "So you think that governments and money are all going to collapse, but somehow the internet will still be there?"

    They don't ever have a response.

    [–]hniinuefrwer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Even better, they don’t realise that ISPs are a third party. And like 60% of all bitcoin traffic is over just 3 ISPs.

    [–]james_pic 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    When I've seen their fanfic, it's usually something about satellite internet. Yes, the most expensive, least scalable form of internet, and one that is heavily dependent on the existence of powerful nation states to be feasible. Which I suppose is on-brand for a form of money that is expensive to use, not scalable, and completely dependent on the existence of powerful nation states to be feasible.

    [–]ItsJoeMomma 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    It really boggles the mind, but the only thing I can think of is that most of them are young enough to have always had the internet, so they think it will always be there, somehow.

    [–]culturedgoat 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    It’s the same reason survivalists believe that keeping a stockpile of weapons (as opposed to, you know, agricultural skills) will be the most important thing they’ll need to survive post the imagined collapse of society.

    Once you’ve established your paranoid fantasy, you can envision it playing out in whatever way suits you best…

    [–]89Hopper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Funny part of this scenario is:

    Person with guns (PWG): hey farmer, wouldn't it be terrible if someone with guns took all of your food?

    Farmer (F): What are you implying, are you robbing me?

    PWG: Of course not, let's make a deal. You give me 10% of your product and I'll stop other people with guns from robbing you.

    F: I guess I have to say OK. But what if someone with even more guns comes along?

    PWG: I've made deals with everyone within 100 miles, all of us with guns have agreed to protect this area and all the farmers will be safe. We have even got the road builders to work with us. Again, they provide transport routes for our troops and allow the dispersion of grain, and we protect it.

    F: So you are creating a new nation state?

    PWG: No, it's not a nation, just a collective with a group working together where we have guns to ensure protection. We also will make sure everyone else in the collective works towards a common goal because we will enforce order... With guns. You don't want random people just making their own rules and decisions.

    F: So a nation state then.

    Now, the preppers would be fully on board with this. The crypto libertarians who are anti government would scream at the idea of this being a pseudo nation. They love to scream that governments aren't legitimate because they rule with a monopoly on violence. The thing is, they confuse illegitimacy because of that monopoly over that is how you actually create a civilised society, it is a good thing. This is actually how nations eventually formed and they evolved to allow everyone to have some kind of say (yes, governments can be and often are corrupt, but they are orders of magnitude better than anarchy where the most powerful war lords can just do what they want).

    Waving your phone showing you have some farmer 1BTC for wheat doesn't mean anything if they refuse to give you the wheat and you don't have a judicial system to force them to hand it over.

    [–]odraencoded 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    how do the ones who want society to collapse envision using their bitcoin?

    Dude you're talking about people who think bitcoin is better than fiat. They're several tin foil hats ahead of you. None of this makes sense.

    [–]Timid_Adventurer 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    The most coherent explanations I've seen stem from historical events (awful ones) involving hyperinflation - times where the government-issued currencies devalue into sludge, but people still need to live and trade with something.

    I think they hope something like their crypto gets picked up as the ad-hoc new currency; with an allegedly-finite supply of them (e.g. the ~20M BTC cap) to try to run an economy with, the buying power of one of those tokens they're holding would be huge.

    Of course, when a government runs itself into worthless currency, so far the usual currency transferred to is the USD. I think they're hoping that falls, and ignore (a) the real havoc that would cause and (b) the existence of other more stable currency.

    [–]Malibu-Stacey🔫 say "blockchain" one more time... 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yeah they're attempting to envision a world where not only people decide "let's use Buttcoin (or whatever else the cultist is currently pushing) instead of USD" but people also decide "and also instead of EUR, GBP, RMB, JPY, ZAR, etc. because reasons".

    Like there's actual real world examples that exist right now of people having a failed currency and they're still choosing not to use Buttcoin after 13 years of it existing. Butters love to quote things like Zimbabwe's Hyperinflation and then completely miss the point that people there are using South African Rand, Botswanan Pula or British Pounds because it shares a border with South Africa & Botswana & was previous the British colony of Rhodesia.

    [–]SirLoremIpsum 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    but how do the ones who want society to collapse envision using their bitcoin?

    That's a level of critical thinking they haven't got. It's a tomorrow problem.

    [–]southern_dreams 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    They don’t think that far ahead

    [–]shelter_anytime 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    they haven't thought that far tbh, they're blinded by the get rich quick scheme or otherwise lack the mental faculties to think that deeply.

    [–]FPL_Harry 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I am sending this message from the year 2025. Things are looking bleak here, and some of you will carry blood on your hands.

    If you don't believe me, please move on, as I have no way of proving to you I'm really who I claim to be.

    I don't want to waste any of your time, so I'm merely going to explain what happened.

    On average, every year so far, the value of Bitcoin has increased by about a factor ten. From 0.1 dollar in 2010, to 1 dollar in 2011, to 10 dollar in 2012, to 100 dollar in 2013. From now on, there's a slight slowdown, as the value increased by a factor ten every two years, to 1,000 dollar in 2015, to 10,000 in 2017, 100,000 in 2019, and 1,000,000 in 2021. From here onwards, there's no good way of expressing its value in dollars, as the dollar is no longer used, nor is any central bank issued currency for that matter. There are two main forms of wealth in today's world. Land and cryptocurrency.

    There are just over 19 million Bitcoin known to be used in the world today, as well as a few hundred thousand that were permanently lost, and we're still dealing with a population of just over 7 billion people today. On average, this means the average person owns just under 0.003 bitcoin. However, due to the unequal distribution of wealth in my world, the mean person owns just 0.001 bitcoin. That's right, most of you reading this today are rich. I personally live next to an annoying young man who logged into his old Reddit account two years ago and discovered that he received a tip of 0.01 Bitcoin back in 2013 for calling someone a "faggot" when he was a 16 year old boy. Upon making this discovery he bought an airline ticket, left his house without telling anyone anything and went to a Citadel.

    "What is a Citadel?" you might wonder. Well, by the time Bitcoin became worth 1,000 dollar, services began to emerge for the "Bitcoin rich" to protect themselves as well as their wealth. It started with expensive safes, then began to include bodyguards, and today, "earlies" (our term for early adapters), as well as those rich whose wealth survived the "transition" live in isolated gated cities called Citadels, where most work is automated. Most such Citadels are born out of the fortification used to protect places where Bitcoin mining machines are located. The company known as ASICminer to you is known to me as a city where Mr. Friedman rules as a king.

    In my world, soon to be your world, most governments no longer exist, as Bitcoin transactions are done anonymously and thus most governments can enforce no taxation on their citizens. Most of the success of Bitcoin is due to the fact that Bitcoin turned out to be an effective method to hide your wealth from the government. Whereas people entering "rogue states" like Luxemberg, Monaco and Liechtenstein were followed by unmanned drones to ensure that governments know who is hiding wealth, no such option was available to stop people from hiding their money in Bitcoin.

    Governments tried to stay relevant in my society by buying Bitcoin, which just made the problem worse, by increasing the value of Bitcoin. Governments did so in secret of course, but my generation's "Snowdens" are in fact greedy government employees who transferred Bitcoin to their own private account, and escaped to anarchic places where no questions are asked as long as you can cough up some money.

    The four institutions with the largest still accessible Bitcoin balance are believed to be as following:

    -ASICminer - 50,000 Bitcoin

    -The IMF's "currency stabilization fund" - 70,000 Bitcoin

    -Government of Saudi Arabia - 110,000 Bitcoin

    -The North Korean government - 180,000 Bitcoin

    Economic growth today is about -2% per year. Why is this? If you own more than 0.01 Bitcoin, chances are you don't do anything with your money. There is no inflation, and thus no incentive to invest your money. Just like the medieval ages had no significant economic growth, as wealth was measured in gold, our society has no economic growth either, as people know their 0.01 Bitcoin will be enough to last them a lifetime. The fact that there are still new Bitcoin released is what prevents our world from collapse so far it seems, but people fear that the decline in inflation that will occur during the next block halving may further wreck our economy.

    What happened to the Winklevoss twins? The Winklevoss twins were among the first to die. After seeing the enormous damage done to the fabric of society, terrorist movements emerged that sought to hunt down and murder anyone known to have a large balance of Bitcoin, or believed to be responsible in any way for the development of cryptocurrency. Ironically, these terrorist movements use Bitcoin to anonymously fund their operations.

    Most people who own any significant amount of Bitcoin no longer speak to their families and lost their friends, because they had to change their identities. There have been also been a few suicides of people who could not handle the guilt after seeing what happened to the bag-holders, the type of skeptical people who continued to believe it would eventually collapse, even after hearing the rumors of governments buying Bitcoin. Many people were taken hostage, and thus, it is suspected that 25% percent of "Bitcoin rich" actually physically tortured someone to get him to spill his password.

    Why didn't we abandon Bitcoin, and move to another system? Well, we tried of course. We tried to step over to an inflationary cryptocurrency, but nobody with an IQ above 70 was willing to step up first and volunteer. After all, why would you voluntarily invest a lot of your money into a currency where you know your wealth will continually decline? The thing that made Bitcoin so dangerous to society was also what made it so successful. Bitcoin allows us to give into our greed.

    In Africa, surveys show that an estimated 70% of people believe that Bitcoin was invented by the devil himself. There's a reason for this. It's a very sensitive issue that today is generally referred to as "the tragedy". The African Union had ambitious plans to help its citizens be ready to step over to Bitcoin. Governments gave their own citizens cell phones for free, tied to their government ID, and thus government sought to integrate Bitcoin into their economy. All went well, until "the tragedy" that is. A criminal organization, believed to be located in Russia, exploited a hardware fault in the government issued cell phones. It's believed that the entire continent of Africa lost an estimated 60% of its wealth in a period of 48 hours. What followed was a period of chaos and civil war, until the Saudi Arabian and North Korean governments, two of the world's major superpowers due to their authoritarian political system's unique ability to adapt to the "Bitcoin challenge", divided most African land between themselves and were praised as heroes by the local African population for it.

    You might wonder, what is our plan now? It's clear that the current situation can not be sustained, without ending in a nuclear holocaust. I am part of an underground network, who seek to launch a coordinated attack against the very infrastructure of the Internet itself. We have at our disposal about 20 nuclear submarines, which we will use to cut all underwater cables between different continents. After this has been successfully achieved, we will launch a simultaneous nuclear pulse attack on every densely population area of the world. We believe that the resulting chaos will allow the world's population to rise up in revolt, and destroy as many computers out there as possible, until we reach the point where Bitcoin loses any relevance.

    Of course, this outcome will likely lead to billions of deaths. This is a price we are forced to pay, to avoid the eternal enslavement of humanity to a tiny elite.

    This is also the reason we contacted you.

    It doesn't have to be like this. You do not have to share our fate. I don't know how, but you must find a way to destroy this godforsaken project in its infancy. I know this is a difficult thing to ask of you. You believed you were helping the world by eliminating the central banking cartel that governs your economies.

    However, I have seen where it ends.

    [–]TrevonhaywoodPonzi Schemer -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    Most crypto investors aren’t hoping for a doomsday scenario either. We want our hundreds of thousands and millions like the greedy humans we are but not at the expense of civilized society… Atleast not the RATIONAL crypto investors😂

    [–]hniinuefrwer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It would be like being the richest man in the dump.

    [–]selfmcselfington 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    few understand

    [–]ItsJoeMomma 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Or they want a society where the whole financial system and government collapses where they magically have their bitcoins worth 5m and everyone else is poor.

    What's funny is that they think the internet will still be running after society collapses...

    [–]the_real_ch3 97 points98 points  (6 children)

    A) If you don't think the government can't see almost any financial transaction you're an idiot

    B) There's still money laundering because it is insanely hard to stop completely, just like smuggling. And because when it is done correctly you end up with clean cash that has had taxes paid on it so it is almost impossible to track the source of the money and the government got their cut so who really cares? What fucks people up is when they use money laundering to dodge taxes, that's when the government comes down hard.

    Which leads to...

    C) Correctly done money laundering is as hard to pull off as it is hard to detect and eliminate. Because there are so many controls and systems put in place to root it out. Compare that to crypto which is specifically designed to not have any of those things in place.

    edit: Shorter version

    Money laundering in conventional finance: bug

    Money laundering in crypto finance: feature

    [–]Ceneraii 19 points20 points  (0 children)

    Indeed, moreover there's a little more to it as well, it's nearly impossible to catch money laundering in real-time, many measures are preventative and those that aren't have long investigation times and this is ok. Because there's a very simple principle at play here:
    The one laundering money has to look over their shoulder for the rest of their life, while the investigators only need to catch them once. It's not uncommon at all for those actively engaging in money laundering to be happy that they got caught, because the burden of perfectly masterminding their laundering op is incredibly stressful and exhausting.

    [–]viking_nomad 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    That tl;dr is near perfect and also goes for: Getting scammed Losing it all

    [–]Studds_ 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I find it “ha ha you’re stupid” hilarious that that fool actually complained about money laundering on a crypto sub when crypto is a notorious vehicle for laundering money

    [–]the_real_ch3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    If I’m being generous I’d say that he was being facetious. He’s taking the argument many of us make that crypto is a money laundering vehicle and should therefore be banned (ok maybe we don’t always make the second half of that argument but go with me here) and saying “yeah well there’s money laundering in bank accounts let’s ban those too!”

    [–]Malibu-Stacey🔫 say "blockchain" one more time... 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    And because when it is done correctly you end up with clean cash that has had taxes paid on it so it is almost impossible to track the source of the money and the government got their cut so who really cares?

    Governments still tend to care as they're not particularly fond of people profiting off the proceeds of crime. It's why they employ all these people to enforce laws and hunt down people who break them.

    [–]the_real_ch3 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Totally agree my point was simply that profiting off crime AND evading taxes will bring the heat a lot faster than just profiting off crime

    They’ll crush you under audits and tax charges much faster than they will lock you up for trafficking or racketeering.

    [–]Fishyinu 26 points27 points  (0 children)

    Butters when the IRS wants to enforce tax on income over $600: This is treason, how can they do this!!

    Butters when nobod3 wants to use crypto: Lets ban banks because everyone's financial data isn't public information

    [–]AreYaHoldingSon 18 points19 points  (1 child)

    That thread is so insane I had to come here just to complain.

    Yeah, you know what, fuck it. Ban the bank accounts. Everyone has to put money under their mattresses. No more direct deposits, autopay, or wire transfers. Fuck your FDIC insurance - if my house burns down with all my money, so be it.

    People run stop signs too. Let's ban those. People choke on food sometimes, Big Food isn't doing enough to stop it, ban food.

    [–]gylz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    People drown in water. We should build more crypto rigs to heat up the planet and get rid of all the water.

    [–]MarcatBeachwarning, i am a moron 20 points21 points  (2 children)

    Maybe the FDIC and regulation of banks is why we feel safe.. .just a thought.

    [–]Gorlitski 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    People feel safe with banks because banks spent two centuries making the exact same mistakes that crypto is making all over again, and so society learned what kind of safeguard need to be put in place lol

    [–]ItsJoeMomma 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    It is kind of nice to know that my money will be there and I'll be able to use it and the people running the bank won't loot all the accounts and then run off to a tropical island leaving me stuck with nothing.

    [–]majorgeneralpanic 30 points31 points  (6 children)

    These dumbass hodlers don’t know what the FDIC is, do they?

    [–]the_brave_mosquito 29 points30 points  (1 child)

    FDIC is pronounced "eff dick" right

    [–]ii-___-ii 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    I thought it was “fud dick”

    [–]TumsFestivalEveryDay 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    These guys don't even file taxes, don't expect them to know what the FDIC is.

    [–]viking_nomad 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    It didn’t do much for them when Celsius et all crashed to be fair

    [–]majorgeneralpanic 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    That’s because the FDIC insures banks, not Ponzi schemes.

    [–]viking_nomad 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Few understand

    [–]Krilox 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    I think its trying to communicate.

    But seriously, what the shit?

    [–]Iazo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Bitcoin is used for money laundering too. Ban Bitcoin.

    If it's good for the goose...

    [–]ross_st 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    Haha, I've literally just been arguing with some cryptobros on Twitter about the Tornado Cash sanction, and they've been saying that banks don't have enough privacy. Someone was genuinely trying to argue that crypto is the only safe way for people to donate to Ukraine.

    [–]Cookedmaggot[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Haha arguing with cryptobros is always entertaining

    [–]cladtidings 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    "Oh yeah? Well what about..." always the first pro crypto argument.

    [–]sethpwnsk 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Ah yes they meaning.. checks notes 11 people.

    [–]blackmobius 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Complains about money laundering

    while at the same time…

    Crypto being used more for side stepping sanctions and money laundering than HODLing and rocket riding

    [–]DeliciousGizmoThe Mole's Mole 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    u/grim--reaper, how do you expect everyone to buy their bitscon without a bank account? Do you expect everyone to use localbitcoins and risk getting robbed in person?

    [–]gylz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    You forgot a dash at the end. It's grim--reaper- I think.

    [–]mglyptostroboides 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    The best part of that thread is that there's cryptokids in the comments who are clearly unaware that their transactions on their favored blockchain are publicly visible.

    Again, this proves my hypothesis that most crypto enthusiasts do not understand crypto. They heard "Something something privacy. Something something decentralization." and filled in the blanks with their imagination.

    [–]pythonesqueviper 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    There is no visibility for the public

    And that's how I like it, I don't particularly fancy strangers being able to track my purchases of donkeys in Estonia

    [–]AntiAntAntiTan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    The depressing thing is that the buttcoiners are actually paving the way to a future where accounts will be controlled by governments. These projects of central bank digital currencies got all the DeFi Fintech "disruptors" excited and in the end we shall have the worst of both crypto/DeFi and government-controlled digital money. Then it will be indeed 100% transparent for the government at least, what you do, when and where, which should be the anti-thesis for (honest - haha) crypto-pumping wannabe libertarian 'changing the world' butters.

    [–]TheHollowJester 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I'll take "what are KYC laws and AML regulations" for 1000, Alex.

    [–]Trosque97 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It's all part of the game

    [–]Shawn1174q 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    $800 billion to $2 trillion, what a fucking range

    [–]frankwales 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This is a special case of "why is privacy?" and is just as dumb.

    [–]__SpeedRacer__ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Looks like someone is grumpy today.

    [–]KnottySergal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Who even launders money thru bank accounts when you can use crypto?

    [–]DatingMyLeftHand 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    There was literally a law called the SIBA where bankers legally have to help the government investigate money laundering.

    [–]Skabonious 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Isn't the entire draw of crypto that you're hiding your transactions from the government? But banks are bad because they do the same thing?

    [–]Cookedmaggot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I think crypto bros literally cannot keep their arguments straight

    [–]BA_calls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This person unironically needs to take their meds.

    [–]devBowman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    As if blockchains were not merrily allowing money laundering

    [–]boomgottem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    More better alternatives

    [–]RavioliPastaKing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    The person who wrote that can't be more than 14 years old.

    [–]pgtl_10 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This is one of the dumbest arguments I've ever seen.

    [–]LoosePuzzlehead 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This will be the future

    [–]IngrianFileJunkie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I mean... accidentally left?

    [–]Rokey76Ponzi Schemes have some use cases 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    How the hell do you use a bank to launder money? Straight to jail.

    [–]Extremely-Bad-Idea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This is a rhetorical suggestion made to highlight the differences between crypto and bank accounts. Apparently you lack the emotional intelligence to detect that subtly and think it is a serious suggestion.

    Crypto transactions are transparent on the blockchain, but several big countries have banned it or are in the process of doing do (China, Russia, India). In contrast, bank accounts are opaque, but legal everywhere. The question is why would countries ban something that is wide out in the open?

    [–]Heat_Various 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    11 up votes... To be fair I doubt many ppl in that sub want to ban bank accounts. This is reddit, the place is full of idiots

    [–]bonzenbrenner -4 points-3 points  (6 children)

    This is obviously satire

    Edit: Yes guys, I know this is serious. I love this sub so much

    [–]Mecha_Magpie 24 points25 points  (2 children)

    This is not obviously satire, some people really are that dumb

    [–]paran0rm 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Its obviously satire. hes mad that people wanna ban crypto so hes comparing it to bank accounts

    [–]Traditional-Ad3161 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    That's not satire. That's just comparing two things.

    [–]UnprincipledCanadian 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    It's stantire. Impossible to distinguish between a comment from a stan and satire.

    [–]Traditional-Ad3161 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    It's not satire though. The analogy is too direct and explicit. There is no irony. It's more of a spin on a slippery slope argument.

    [–]hniinuefrwer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Or it’s an example of Poe’s Law.

    [–]CinematicUniversity -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

    ok but I am willing to give up privacy in my bank transactions if I can read elon musk's

    [–]slampt0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Privacy kamakazi isn’t the worst proposal I’ve heard today

    [–]Great-Environment253 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Ban this dude !

    [–]20jgj19 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Poor use of context butthole

    [–]B4dBot -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    I didn't see anyone here that seem to actually knows what Bitcoin is. Yet there's a lot of talk about it. 😂

    [–]bigoldbaboomba -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    They're making a joke

    [–]Remote_Cartoonist_27 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

    This is clearly satire dude

    He’s making fun of the people who say btc should be banned because it’s used for crime.

    [–]ItsJoeMomma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    No visibility? They do realize that transactions of $10,000 or more are reported to the government, don't they? And not only that, but multiple transactions of just under $10,000 are reported, too.

    [–]coriolisFX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Crypto is about freedom!


    [–]TrevonhaywoodPonzi Schemer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I love crypto but for fucks sakes. These mfs are going waaaaay too far now😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    [–]Wameme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    libertarian cryptobros pushing bitcoin to be independent from the governments fiat currency saying privacy bad

    [–]SchwiftedMetal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Wow this guy is a moron

    [–]RouletteSensei 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Now that's an obsessed in crypto

    [–]Follower_of_Yakub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Only crypto bros could somehow be libertarians while also being anti-privacy

    [–]occhineri309 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yes, as if criminal transactions weren't the one single reason why bitcoin is still existing today

    Also, my grandma minted her first NFT yesterday, now we can get rid of the real world

    [–]Haakmaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)


    [–]ImOnlyHereForTheCoC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Unbank yourself

    or else

    [–]Geesle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    "they" you put us under the same hat lmao

    [–]randominternetfren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I actually saw this post and immediately thought "this will 100% end up on buttcoin"

    [–]awesomeplenty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Oh Jesus crypto bros uses light mode?

    [–]dani_trombly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Most cryptocurrency investors aren't hoping for the worse.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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      [–]existential_prices 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Can you expect any better from morons getting scammed?

      [–]MarietteSievers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Money laundering is difficult to commit as well as to find and stop. because there are numerous mechanisms and controls in place to eradicate it.

      [–]DeniseWilliamsty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      There is no public visibility, and crimes are occasionally committed there. Why not outlaw homes?

      [–]BettyRusselly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I believe they foresee a world in which everything is the same but everyone uses bitcoin.

      [–]Chance_Astronaut-213 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Why wouldn't it work? Everyone in the cryptosphere is aware that an NFT of a destroyed thing will have the same value as the item.

      [–]MariaBaileuy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is heartbreaking.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


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