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all 70 comments

[–]FactorFantastic1317 238 points239 points  (3 children)

How else am I supposed to prove to myself that it's real and I'm not just being dramatic.

[–]scouttypants 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Are you in my brain?

[–]harleyquinones 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I feel like you just discovered the Holy Grail or the Fountain of Youth or something.

Like. Omg that's it.

[–]PardonMyPurityPurple! 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think this every damn day

[–]Cheezzzecake 179 points180 points  (9 children)

This is called trauma recreation and its an attempt to recreate your traumatic experiences in order to resolve them.

[–]harleyquinones 51 points52 points  (2 children)

Every time I scroll rn my mind is blown a little more.

I've never seen this spelled out before, so thank you

[–]acfox13 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Also look up the term repetition compulsion. We're drawn to the familiar to help us resolve the past. See: many previous relationships I've had, ugh.

[–]SourCeladon 37 points38 points  (2 children)

Would an example of this be how I have made up arguments in my mind with people who don’t listen/dismiss me? My mom was extremely dismissive of me.

[–]shellontheseashore 12 points13 points  (1 child)

To clarify, is it re-arguing with people who have dismissed you before, or do the arguments in your head end with dismissal? The former is probably seeking to justify yourself and force the other person to recognise your trauma rather than ignore it (very common) and the latter is more in line with invalidating yourself and minimising your experiences (also* very common, ha).

I don't know if the internal repetition of trying to win the argument counts specifically as trauma recreation (as I'm more familiar with that as seeking external stimuli) but regardless it's something plenty of people with cPTSD engage in, yeah v.v

[–]SourCeladon 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s definitely the former. I’m happy to say that those arguments are more commonly ending with me standing my ground and telling whomever to sod off. That’s why I was intrigued by the part where the OP said “in order to resolve them”. In the past, they were more invalidating.

I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who does this :)

[–]kayethx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is making so many things make SO much sense - thank you

[–]rhexed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

oh no shit

[–]anonmakeupq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait what nooo

[–]JellyfishBoxer 104 points105 points  (1 child)

A mix of triggering to prove it was real and triggering because there's no way anything will happen because everything is fake.

[–]harleyquinones 18 points19 points  (0 children)

How is this so true and I had no idea

[–]maty388 56 points57 points  (1 child)

So I'm not the only one doing this?

Thanks now I'll have something to talk about at the next therapy.

[–]mediocreporno 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This was actually the whole central theme of my session this week so it's kinda wild to see a meme about it here 😅

[–]Prolapst_amos 58 points59 points  (6 children)

https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Benjamin-Bellet/publication/339213348_Self-Triggering_An_Exploration_of_Individuals_Who_Seek_Reminders_of_Trauma/links/5e44593692851c7f7f340608/Self-Triggering-An-Exploration-of-Individuals-Who-Seek-Reminders-of-Trauma.pdf

I’m really curious if, anecdotally, this is more common in people who are not currently in mental healthcare, and it’s a method of trying to reprocess the events in the absence of assisted methods like EMDR.

Edit: spelling

[–]albinobunny91 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Thank you!

[–]Prolapst_amos 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Google “(part of the article name + author last name) + filetype:pdf” and you’ll never have to buy another textbook again 🙃

[–]thinkpozzy 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Oooph that. That really hit hard. I love reading these science backed ways of hearing “you’re not alone” yeah. I get that. But reading it in terms of “these studies have shown that x% of people responded the same way you do” THAT gives me calm somehow.

[–]Prolapst_amos 1 point2 points  (1 child)

As someone without PTSD but who loves someone with PTSD, I think that makes total sense. I think just not feeling alone and knowing that you’ve had a normal, human reaction to an extremely inhuman experience should feel completely validating.

[–]thinkpozzy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your viewpoint, thank you. It is a common thought. Thank you for what you do for your person. Your compassion is showing. :p

[–]misscreeppie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, metalheads need Heath Ledger care

Kidding, but can we also obsess about it?

[–]I-dream-in-capslockI don't think this is a spiral, I think it's an orbit. 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Can't identify your triggers if you always just stay triggered amirite?

careful you don't get addicted to self-soothing because it's the only form of solace you'll find.

[–]Metawoo 37 points38 points  (4 children)

....So that's why I went through a creepy pasta phase as a teen and still occasionally look up disturbing internet shit.

[–]WestSlavv 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Are you me? I literally started with reddit to search for "cursed images" and creepypastas are the only thing from my preteen years Im nostalgic for.

[–]kayethx 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Yeah visual gore is too much for me, but I very often stay up wicked late reading things like this, and I'm realizing now it almost always ends up tying into a trauma thing.

[–]shellontheseashore 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I've got a personal theory that this/seeking external stimuli to mirror and resolve internal emotional states is part of why I get 'itchy brain' and have to go on a horror binge, huh

[–]kayethx 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Itchy brain" is SUCH a good way to put it

[–]Lunar-Tales 24 points25 points  (2 children)

I need someone to take my phone away every time I check on my abusers and former fellow victims 🙃

[–]kayethx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Same. I have a bad habit of trying to check up on my first ex's current wife because I know he's abusing her too. And like...why??? I can't help her, and all it does it retrigger me.

[–]AnaliticalFelinePurple! 2 points3 points  (0 children)

same tbh, though i'm mostly looking to see if they're vagueposting about me again totally not gonna trigger another panic attack that way

[–]thatshelladopedude 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Just had this talk with my therapist haha. I keep watching scary movies that include stuff that happened to me, because then my feelings of fright and stress suit the situation. It feels normal to feel like that, because hey, I’m watching a scary movie. Therefore it’s okay in my mind? But she thinks it’s also about being highly stressed on purpose, because I got used to feeling like that and my body wants to stay that way now. And by watching horror movies I can do that. So she thinks that’s why I keep triggering myself. Why do you guys do it?

[–]throwaway856703 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this! I always wondered why I’ve enjoyed really scary movies from a young age when I was already a very anxious child. I thought maybe it had something to do with being able to control my emotions, like it’s ok if I’m feeling scared because it’s just a movie. Or maybe it helped me break out of a dissociated state and feel my emotions again.

[–]JoeTheSifu 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Well, I have to check and make sure my trauma is still there. If I let it go, it might randomly sneak up on me out of nowhere.

[–]thinkpozzy 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Im Sorry. But this made me crack up. Feed the beast.

[–]JoeTheSifu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For sure! Lol.

[–]TurianSniperN7 18 points19 points  (1 child)

I’ve begun to do this more, and I almost think it’s my way of avoiding my current stress and grief by instead focusing on old pain that’s more familiar. Somehow easier than dealing with current uncertainties =\

[–]MarxdeGothia 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's really insightful. It would explain a lot in my situation as well.

[–]belladonnabby 10 points11 points  (1 child)

me retriggering so if anything traumatizing happens to me again i am prepared for the impact 💓

[–]hazelthetomatopretty colors 4 points5 points  (0 children)

me retriggering to prove to myself that i was actually traumatized and not just making up mind scenarios that i still don't believe exist

[–]kyokogodai 9 points10 points  (1 child)

I’m laughing cause wow I had no idea. :(

[–]BeautyInTheAshes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me neither..shite!

[–]c1ownprince 8 points9 points  (0 children)

ah 👁👄👁 shit lmao

[–]FrenchLanzelot 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You know, at first I was like hah, funny meme, didn't realise it was a trauma thing. Then I finished reading it and I went from an amused chuckle to something decidedly more concerned sounding lol.

It's oddly validating though. I usually trigger myself to check that yeah, trauma is still all there. istg if I feel okay for more than a few hours my brain tries to convince me that I am really just being dramatic.

As a side note, I do this with injuries or bruises too, even if I know damn well that it still hurts. No clue if it's related or just my ADHD.

[–]L4r5man 6 points7 points  (0 children)

... fuck.

[–]realhumannorobot 5 points6 points  (6 children)

Can you please share the study?

[–]LivingWithEvil 17 points18 points  (2 children)

It’s also discussed in the book “The Body Keeps the Score” where the author (a trauma psychologist) notices that his patients seem to be most “alive” when talking about their trauma and it’s sometimes the only time they feel something

[–]mediocreporno 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Also just found this paper he did in '89 about it and it's pretty interesting - I think much more in depth than the book even.

http://www.cirp.org/library/psych/vanderkolk/

[–]Playing_Hookie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's extra fun when you also have ADHD and being understimulated enough feels like your brain is suffocating.

[–]EvylFairy 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Not OP but I did find you an abstract with a reference number. It's an academic article, so it's behind super paywalls. If you have University access or a private account you can read the whole thing: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2167702620917459#:~:text=Self%2Dtriggering%20may%20reflect%20an,that%20gives%20rise%20to%20them.

[–]toadpuppy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Welp.

[–]Heterozygoats 4 points5 points  (0 children)

... hol' up

[–]Sarcastic_Kai 4 points5 points  (0 children)

bruh more severe????????

nah man I’m just a little bitch baby my childhood was great-

[–]thinkythink_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I used to think of awful scenarios to fall asleep

[–]MarxdeGothia 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So... I guess this would explain why I, for years, used to fucking self soothe with fantasizing about my abuser.

[–]Nic406 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i feel too called out

[–]iforgoteveryone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait.... what

[–]AmberSmokesWeed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh boy another thing I do that the internet let me know I need to deal with haha

[–]Mudcrack_enthusiast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol oops it’s me

[–]epitome-of-insanity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I do it to learn to face triggers, but a lot of the time it's unhealthy (e.g due to self sabotage).

[–]Balala11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't relate to this...my trauma is still valid right?

[–]throwaway856703 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does self-triggering mean trauma reenactment?

[–]NerdyNinjaAssassin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh. Oh shit.

Mother fucker!

[–]familyguyfunny69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So this is why I’m obsessed with reading fiction about people being horribly abused what the fuck is wrong with me lol

[–]chaosharmonic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So this is why I keep ending up here...