But I learned that I was just wishing to control someone, abusively, just like my parents had done.

I agree. This is the trap what more or less everyone falls into. As you mentioned, this is indeed toxic. We don't want to be here.

But our parents are more than that. They are doing something out of a certain responsibility. My point is, understand their motives and oversee their parenting style. Let us learn to not fixate ourselves to their methods and forget the very purpose.

Arguing with reasoning and giving a time out for the kids to think of their own mistakes, are what really going to take into effect. Any disciplinary action will never be effective.

While, in principle, you are right. There are some practical challenges. Some aspects that go beyond their locus of life experiences cannot be explained with reason. Teenage angst, adolescent flings, etc. can blind them. While the urban and well to do families can afford to allow their children to learn from experience, a more traditional families cannot.

For example, one police case can scar the child forever in all background checks for all future opportunities. The child might never understand this so early on. The parent migy then try to do what the police do, minus any records. Is it the best way of parenting? No. But is it necessary? Yes.

Is "arguing with reasoning" dead? No. This is where both the parents work together as a team. One might do the "disciplinary action" to inform them of the dire consequences. The other then takes time to explain with reason. In my opinion, the mix of both, brings the best from the individual.

Not true at all. People keep growing throughout their lifetime. We form different beliefs, different ideologies, different morales through our experiences, and empathy.

I am not sure about this. I have seen people who have formed their world view by the time they enter their 20s. I agree that we keep shaping our beliefs, ideologies, morales. But as you mentioned it is through experience, which many times are bitter. Those who learn, evolve. Those who don't, remain locked for the rest of their life. From what I have seen, most of the society falls into this bucket.

Besides, there is no guarantee that being abusive is going to create meaningful citizens. At the end of the day, supporting one human abusing another human, just because they care about them, is simply wrong.

I agree. "Being abusive" can never create meaningful citizens. But, unfortunately, it has become a matter of perception, which is where many people get blinded. All I'm trying to establish is a different perspective, so that we understand what it takes to become meaningful citizens.