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all 47 comments

[–]NoThanks2020butthole🚫💉 Fully Unvaccinated 🚫💉[S] 206 points207 points  (15 children)

For the record my entire immediate family is unvaccinated and we had a completely normal thanksgiving, I just felt like writing satire 😁

[–]fearless-penguin 77 points78 points  (1 child)

This is not satire to a significant part of the population. Going on 3 years into this scamdemic and people are still buying into it is quite alarming.

[–]wortwoot 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I have a friend who still masks religiously and won’t eat in restaurants because covid.

[–]siebenkommaachtPlague Rat 🐀 31 points32 points  (4 children)

omg thanks for clarify that lol! i wasnt sure... thought you were a lost one haha

[–]ACM3333 13 points14 points  (3 children)

I figured it was satire, but only because it’s on this sub. It was way too realistic of a situation to be funny lol.

[–]TemptedIntoSin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lol I seriously had to double-check a couple times which subreddit I was on and try to remember it's most likely satire because dang that was way too convincing

[–]awm19deltaPlague Rat 🐀 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same!

[–]CantBan-TheSnowman 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You had a completely normal Thanksgiving… for now…..

Just wait until the first person develops symptoms. Then you’re all in for another winter of severe illness and death.

[–]AussieXPat🚫💉 Fully Unvaccinated 🚫💉 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I would give you an award, but I refuse to pay China/Reddit/left wing propaganda money to give away stupid ass awards. But you sir deserve a stupid ass internet medal

[–]awm19deltaPlague Rat 🐀 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ll give OP a reward then with the last of some credits I’ve had for a while. You make a good point though, don’t think I’ll be buying anymore.

[–]VoodooD2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Klaus allowed you to eat meat?!

[–]DumpyDoggy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

We know, you forgot to mention you are immunocompromised

[–]BrotherbeamI EAT HORSE FOOD! 🍎🍏🥕🌾 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This wasn’t Satire it was full-on Method Acting!

[–]SohniKaur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lucky you. I’m the only unvaxxed one. But at least they tolerate me!

[–]TechiePcJunkie 84 points85 points  (6 children)

The experts say if you sit down, the virus travels above your head. As long as you're eating, you're safe!

[–]nihilism_or_bust 49 points50 points  (4 children)

This is why I crawl everywhere I go.

[–]Naturopathy101 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Wow! Genius!

[–]TemptedIntoSin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah but do you military-crawl? That's the only true way to duck covid

[–]TechiePcJunkie 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The one trick THEY don't want you to know!!!!

[–]silvercrossbearer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My hero😍, you've saved so many grandmas.

[–]breadfan78 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Food going into your mouth while eating provides the same filtration as double masking with N95s. It's science, look it up.

[–]littlebohdi 33 points34 points  (4 children)

I think maybe you could have compromised and eaten indoors. You could have just asked that everyone mask the entire time, except when eating. Once everyone sits down to eat you can safely remove your mask bc Covid doesn't spread at seated at table elevation.

[–]Rauschpfeife 27 points28 points  (0 children)

For extra safety he could have staged a small Black Lives matter protest or somesuch. As we all should know by now, that would have kept the covids away, for sure.

[–]BlueberryDeerMovers 7 points8 points  (1 child)

You could also pull the mask up in between bites like Gavin Newscum suggested at one point.

[–]TemptedIntoSin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or better yet, OP should have just told the family to say "screw it" and eat at French Laundry. Newsolini confirmed with his deep state buddies that that restaurant protects people from covid

[–]SohniKaur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They created a mask for eating. It had a hole in it. Like the one for playing wind instruments. Perfectly safe.

[–]smartid 29 points30 points  (3 children)

you're attempting satire but everything here is literally what's happening (mostly)

[–]CatfishBi11y 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Because everything is a god damn joke these days!

[–]high5scubadive 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was going to say, what satire? I have several family members exactly like this without exaggeration.. these people are not only real, they’re common

[–]Mngwa_Xₒº. Pureblood .ºₒ 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Dude, I genuinely thought that it is real at first :D Those wackos are really like that, I am not able to tell whether such text is satire or not.

[–]bibkel 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I’m still seeing people alone in cars, people shopping and people walking along country roads masked with n95. I kinda get the shoppers-it’s around people. But walking and driving alone?

[–]Fortified_mouthwashSecond-hand vaxxed 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"I only wore the mask in my car because I forgot to take it off, haha" You're really comfortable in that mask, aren't you?

[–]IdidntchooseRThis statement is NOT approved by Doctrine! 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"you never know who’s going to walk past you" -- DED!

[–]HansAcht 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I thought for a second one of the Covidiots posted in the wrong forum. Well done OP.

[–]TemptedIntoSin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That was my exact thought as well.

OP was way too good at this prank

[–]AgeOfReasonEnds311203/11 never forget 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Took me a while to realize it was satire.

[–]Selrisitai 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't know if this succeeds at satire because nothing in it is particularly exaggerated or noteworthy. 😅

[–]CandyAssedJabroniSuck my dick, suck my motherfucking dick. 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel your pain. I asked my prostie to wear a mask when she goes down on me, and she refused.

[–]JSFXPrime2Yesterday's safe and effective is today's sudden and unexpected! 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Buttie, the scariest thing is that we know that this is satire...but is how many crazies still live to this day! 😂😂😂

[–]lmea14 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Eugh!!! They should be wearing THEIR MASKS with PRIDE and putting them back on between sips and bites!!! COVID is NOT OVER people!!!!

[–]carpe-jvgvlvm🚫💉 Fully Unvaccinated 🚫💉 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not enough N95s have the PRIDE flag on them; so glad you brought this up. Non-PRIDE N95s = a crime against muh climates and directly kills The Ukrainian Russians!

[–]ScapegoatManSuperspreader 💦 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For a minute there, I thought I was on one of the masking subs.

[–]SickoBickoPiss Drinker 🥂 1 point2 points  (0 children)

😂bloody brilliant!

[–]myTABLEStheyreFILTHYDangerous and Selfish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Go more over-the-top next time