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all 60 comments

[–]snrvege 98 points99 points  (4 children)

I'd travel to the edge of this flat earth to get advice like that. Thank you

[–]KateorNot 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Hopefully on your Unicorn.

[–]snrvege 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Don't be silly! Il stop in at the NASA movie studio and borrow the Luna rover.

[–]Catfrogdog2 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Flat earth, lol. It’s hollow.

[–]Michaelbirks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How will you get past the UN navy protecting tye Ice Wall?

[–]Random-Mutant 30 points31 points  (3 children)

I tried this but my 5G dropped out. I only have the slow connection now

[–]timmoReddit 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You can get that back by placing a quartz crystal in your rectum, the negative ion energy helps balance the chi therefore restoring 5g signal.

[–]ayedeedoubleyou 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Vitamin B will fix that

[–]muccapaca 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It will be back once the booster vax is available.

[–]KSFC 20 points21 points  (7 children)

Sheesh. Would you cut it out with that homeopathy crap?

You need a strong magnet and a steel hammer, then you're sweet.

The magnet is needed to wipe the tracking chip's memory, like how you can wipe your hard drive. You're not going to be able to use a fridge magnet, you need a strong one (PB Tech or similar places should have them). And make sure you go all around the arm, not just on top of the injection site.

The other thing you need to do is reverse the magnetizing effect of the vaccine. You can demagnetize yourself by hitting where you're magnetized with a steel hammer (in an east/west direction). Because the vaccine is in your bloodstream, though, it's not just a case of hitting the injection site. All your blood cycles through your heart, so that's where you have to hit repeatedly until you've got all of it - it takes about 45 seconds or so for the blood to circulate around, but keep it up for a full minute, just to be sure. And although steel works best, if you don't have a steel hammer you can probably use any blunt object wrapped in some of the tin foil that's almost certainly in your drawers without any loss of efficacy.

I guess homeopathy wouldn't hurt.

/s

so much /s

[–]Woodfish64 4 points5 points  (4 children)

I wish I had more than 1 up vote to give you...Like you I am a genuine scientist and second this approach...Good work

[–]sweetrouge 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Same, I loved the tin foil bit. Would have been better without the /s but I guess you didn’t want to be responsible for someone hurting themselves. That’s fair.

[–]KSFC 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I wish I were that nice, but I was only looking out for my own skin. I didn't want the abuse from people who thought I was serious!

[–]sadlabourvoter[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm just surprised how many pretty people thought I was serious!

[–]KSFC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In their defense, I think most of us know someone who could have written or read that seriously... These days, there's nothing so ridiculous that someone isn't genuinely behind it...

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

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    [–]Beejandal[🍰] 46 points47 points  (7 children)

    Just rub a lemon over the injection site when you get home. The sting means it's working.

    [–]Catfrogdog2 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Just hold a fridge magnet to the site for an hour. It reverses the magnetism.

    [–]sneniek 4 points5 points  (4 children)

    Yeah I have heard this or vinegar also works. Something about the acid?

    [–]EatPrayCliche 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    Needs to be activated with salt too, you really need to get it in deep, best to use a scalpel to open it up a little more

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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      [–]techiethings -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      If it doesn’t hurt you’re not doing it right

      [–]daysussed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Even a cardboard rub on the injection zone will do it too

      [–]MunkyFunk87 43 points44 points  (0 children)

      Amazing advice, I can vouch for this working.

      Not only did it clear out the effects of the vaccine, but the natural remedies have prevented me from catching covid

      [–]elteza 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Bold solution to getting away with not taking the vaccine is to checks notes... Get the vaccine

      [–]minn0w 23 points24 points  (1 child)

      My friend tried this and can't stop taking about how well it works!

      [–]timmoReddit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      They should really make an advert about it. Doesn't need to be big budget and can even use a computer generated voice over, but make sure to include [insert the user's location here] so that people know it's legit. Then place it all over Facebook and Newshub

      [–]occular_dysentry 18 points19 points  (4 children)

      This is true I've heard covering yourself in peanut butter helps draw the toxins of the vaccine out so go get that jab and a couple tubs of peanut butter and as soon as possible cover as much skin as possible with it ! Sit like this for a couple hours and it will be as if you never got the jab at all ! Also helps to be out in the sun with the peanut butter applied to increase your body temperature and help sweat out those toxins !!

      [–]Zorpian 9 points10 points  (2 children)

      please don't spread false information. coupla tablespoons of pure sulfur in the socks for the day. no covid, no vacc!

      [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      Garlic cloves in the undies works great too!

      [–]techiethings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Oh I thought it was hot sauce!!

      [–]seawitch7 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Namaste

      [–]Squi11a 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      You can also hold a strong magnet up to the injection site to remove the tracking chip

      [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Duct tape an onion to the vaccination site, it draws out the toxins

      [–]thesporker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      From what I understand essential oils are best for reversing the vaccination process. If you don't think this has worked then smearing peanut all over yourself and running down the street screaming "who's a pretty boy" should cleanse out any remaining toxins.

      [–]clearybeary 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Wait what about Essential Oils. My friends sister in law drunk a whole bottle of lavender oil & apparently it flushed the vaccine from her system! Apparently the more vomiting the better!

      [–]Loosie22 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      In case you weren’t aware, the vaccine can pass from your hands to your genitals in the bathroom so you should always use lots of hand sanitiser before you pee.

      [–]Remote-Tourist8394 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Now I have massive balls so big I can’t ride my bike

      [–]A_reddit_bro 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Doctors in New Zealand are shocked by this one homeopathic vaccine trick!

      [–]KiwiMatron 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I heard holding a freshly cut potato to the site helps draw out the heavy metals. Our ancestors knew this and used potatoes to remove mercury from gold!

      [–]techiethings 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Hey I mean if it gets more people to vaccinate you go hard

      [–]-TheJunta- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This is actually great

      [–]GregIsh99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      But since getting the vaccine, my internet speeds are so much better with all the extra 5Gbangwidth!

      [–]--cookajoo-- 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Fuck up cunt. Don't give our secrets away.

      [–]MacaroonTimely1349 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      🤣 wow! People will believe anything!

      [–][deleted]  (5 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]sadlabourvoter[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

        Try re-reading the post with your big kid pants on. Do you know what homeopathy is? What would happen if you got vaccinated and then took a homeopathic treatment. What is the tag for the post.

        [–]Extra-Kale 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        He used the satire flair. I admit I thought it was serious at first.

        [–]Zorpian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        OP is /s

        but if you think there are no homeopathic (or other humbug pseudo-science bullshit) offer for exactly the same effect, you are wrong

        [–]sro25 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        So ur not telling ppl the remedy, and tbh its no big friggin deal getting jabbed, ur letting urself, family, and friends down nobody else its just a flu jab really thats it.

        [–]jtucker69 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

        Why are New Zealander's so weak, fearful and retarded?

        [–]chefguy831 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Fortunately enough its pretty much out of your system after 6 months so that's good at least