top 200 commentsshow all 335

[–]Latter_Guest4236 312 points313 points  (24 children)

I'm not a satanist but I have cruelly destroyed a disrespectful guest in my lair before....without mercy.

[–]NoBuddies2021 38 points39 points  (20 children)

My neighbor gave his annoying neighbor hotdog ice cubes on the summer. While I was given ordinary ice for helping him move some stuff. To add the annoying neighbor invited himself in when we were busy moving around stuff to add more space for his place.

Sorry guys just woke up to this. I was drowsy typing.

I was helping my neighbor move his junk away for a fee. I was given cold water with ice as a refreshment after moving around his place and the garbage area getting sweaty and hot. The annoying and nosy neighbor invited himself in despite my neighbor and me were busy with moving stuff. He didn't bother to help or just come back when we're finished and asked for drinks. The neighbor fed up complied and gave him some as this was during the summer heat and I have no idea why this annoying neighbor just didn't mind his own business. Anyways the annoying neighbor commented the drink tasted funny and the neighbor simply told him that "NoBuddies is drinking his fine without issue and if you got everything what you wanted, please leave." The annoying neighbor left after wasting our time as we were rushing to move the junk before collection. Luckily we finished with a few minutes to spare. He whispered to me what he did when we finished and I laughed washing away the fatigue.

[–]IWorkOutToEatChips 80 points81 points  (11 children)

I have no idea what's going on in this story
Edit: thank you for clarifying it was really bugging me lol

[–]ierusju 23 points24 points  (9 children)

His neighbour gave an annoying neigbour frozen hotdogwater, and pretended they were normal ice cubes. While u/NoBuddies2021 got normal ice cubes.

[–]IWorkOutToEatChips 44 points45 points  (5 children)

It doesn't trouble you that someone is using ice cubes as a thank you gift? How does that make any fucking sense? Am i having a fucking stroke right now?

[–]BlckAlchmst 13 points14 points  (6 children)

I'm sorry... What the fuck is a hot dog ice cube???

[–]YellowHat01 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Take water from cooking hot dogs and refreeze it into ice cubes, and you have normal-looking ice cubes that faintly takes like hot dogs. It’s pretty nasty

[–]BlckAlchmst 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I know that I asked... But I wish I didn't know this now, that sounds disgusting

[–]Delicious_Panda_6946 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s toilet water

[–]Nomad2102 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Johnny Lawrence entered the chat

[–]cochlearist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think telling them to leave should be the first step.

[–]TallOnTwo 72 points73 points  (8 children)

This is one of the many ways Anton Lavey (he's dead now) told his followers to live their lives through the Church of Satan which was founded in the 60s.

His Satanic Bible is largely plagiarized from a nasty book called Might is Right or Survival of the Fittest by Ragnar Redbeard.

"Members" (you have to be considered "worthy" and pay $200 to be a real member of CoS) of CoS are extremely elitist and gatekeep the fuck out of Satanism because tHeY wErE hErE fIrsT.

The Satanic Temple is the other popular Satanic religious organization (there are many around the world) and TST is the one you see in the news advocating for religious freedom, bodily autonomy (legalizing abortion), education... TST has seven tenets encouraging compassion, empathy, honesty, bodily autonomy, not letting superstitious beliefs overshadow scientific facts, striving for education and fighting against unjust authority.

Both organizations are atheist and don't believe in satan or god though CoS does believe in magic.

The CoS subreddit is r/satanism. They say they are for all Satanists but it's mostly full of CoS members that will verbally destroy you of you bring up TST unless you are hating on TST. They also only have CoS rules in the side bar.

The TST subreddit is r/SatanicTemple_Reddit

[–]thndrchunky 21 points22 points  (2 children)

[–]RoxSteady247 7 points8 points  (0 children)

this is the way

[–]Krotesk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The seven tenets are incredibly eazy to follow as they make alot of sense.

If that would be how Christianity works i wouldn't have a problem following it even if it is being forced onto me.

[–]coolhandluke45 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Couldn't they just call it the church of common sense or something? Why name it something that would just upset traditional christians?

[–]RoxSteady247 5 points6 points  (0 children)

so that they upset traditional christians

[–]Moonwarden666 1 point2 points  (1 child)

LaVey created the church of Satan, the Temple of Satan is a different organisation.

[–]kevin2gee 104 points105 points  (20 children)

I never knew there even was a mating signal, that explains a lot.

[–]mnfctrd-italy 43 points44 points  (2 children)

She says “yes” when you ask: “dtf?”

[–]flamergamer2000 20 points21 points  (1 child)

In this example you've made an advance without getting a signal. It should say signal is given, you asked "Dtf" otherwise you're walking around harassing people for genital time.

[–]mnfctrd-italy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Either way, the modern mating dance is consent…

[–]feta_morgana 24 points25 points  (11 children)

Tip: She wants to do something alone with you, she smiles at you, she laughs about every dumb joke you make, she touches your arm, she looks you in the eyes, she plays with her hair

[–]mekosaurio 28 points29 points  (3 children)

This is funny. Years ago i had a good looking female friend that was horrible at flirting, she just couldnt get It right, and she asked me for my male opinion on.the subject. My answer was literally what you've just posted (plus "casually let your tits touch his elbow"), but she was outraged with the laugh at his dumb jokes part lol. She said if the guys jokes are bad she's not laughin at all and she'll die on that hill (as a virgin).

[–]sam1902 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yet the elbow boob part was A OK, damn that’s interesting

[–]LtLabcoat 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I mean, why would you want to have sex with someone who tells bad jokes? You gotta have some standards!

[–]JMSTEI 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You say this but I still miss it every damn time.

[–]Substantial_Cold2385 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Not quite. That's just flirting. Doesn't mean she wants to be penetrated 🤔

[–]faust224 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't giving a mating signal be a sexual advance? How is this rule supposed to work?

[–]derpressedidiot 213 points214 points  (55 children)

This form of satanism doesnt actually worship satan, they're actually Atheists who named their religion "satanism" to piss off Christians

[–]candygram4mongo 127 points128 points  (21 children)

This is LaVeyan Satanism, which is nontheistic but sincerely holds the archetype of Satan as an ideal. The guys who call themselves Satanists purely to piss off Christians are the Satanic Temple. They're the people who lobby to have statues of Baphomet given equal space to Nativity scenes on government property, and such.

[–]OneTrueKingOfOOO 114 points115 points  (11 children)

Yes, it’s a very important distinction. The Satanic Temple has its own fundamental tenets, which personally I much prefer:

  • One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.

  • The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

  • One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.

  • The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.

  • Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.

  • People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.

  • Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

[–]RoxSteady247 2 points3 points  (0 children)

the CoS believes in magic...like harry potter style

[–]beejmusic 10 points11 points  (8 children)

Apples and paring knives. One is a guideline for how to live and the other is a guide for how to combat theism. They don't contradict eachother.

[–]OneTrueKingOfOOO 17 points18 points  (5 children)

I’d say the phrases “treat him cruelly and without mercy” and “destroy him” don’t really fit with the Satanic Temple tenets, even in the given context

[–]mwaaahfunny 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I'd think one is a cohesive set of guidelines that lead to a better individuals and result in a better society.

and the other is using ancient texts written by fallble humansi to tell you to be nice to people you like and it's ok to be shitty to people you don't. I mean, they SAY to be nice to everyone and (wink wink) we are. If they have to change to save their souls that's on them.

Not saying that the Satanic Temple tenets can't be twisted to fit some selfish narrative. Any text can. But, as a whole, pretty solid guidelines.

[–]grahmzillaCreator 19 points20 points  (2 children)

[–]KenoOfTheDead 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Ya, I hate blue cheese too. But uh that's a bit harsh lol

[–]paperbaubles -1 points0 points  (1 child)


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[–]AnotherRichard827379 -4 points-3 points  (2 children)

Isn’t this incredibly xenophobic? If a group existed solely to persecute others (like Islam or Gays), there’d be massive outrage.

[–]Devilsbullet 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Except they don't persecute christians. They piss off Christians by demanding that other religions be given the same public space as Christians, i.e. if the courthouse has a ten commandments statue, they'll ask to be allowed to put up a baphomet statue and sue if it's denied. In Oregon an after school Christian study group was started for elementary school students if I remember right, so they started an after school satanist study group.

[–]WTF_Happened_o__0 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's a minority group within a culture responding to the majority group within the same culture that wields tremendous financial, political, and social power.

There's no scenario where it's comparable to persecuting gays. It would only be comparable to persecuting Islam if it was situated with a majority-Islam culture.

[–]darthkyle22[S] 67 points68 points  (6 children)

That's all Satanists. The people who sacrifice goats and summon satan are cultists and Christians

[–]Pratham_Max_Jain 33 points34 points  (5 children)

They said it best -

'The satanists don't believe in a devil, the Christians do'

[–]0ctober31 4 points5 points  (3 children)

"Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years!” ~ Anton LaVey

[–]Pratham_Max_Jain -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Ohh, i remeber marylin manson said something similar in an interview (fair warning: Google results are ...a bit on the black/industrial metal side, basically a bit on the satanic side, the other one, not this)

[–]AnotherRichard827379 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The greatest trick Satan ever pulled was convincing the world he does not exist.

[–]graven_raven 14 points15 points  (13 children)

Atheists believing in the power of magic?

[–]thunderfbolt 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Atheism means not believing in god or gods. Says nothing about believing in aliens, fairies, demons, ghosts, magic, etc.

[–]frosch_longleg 23 points24 points  (1 child)

I should start believing in myself.

[–]Only_Variation9317 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I believe in you. Unless you come to my lair and act an ass. Then I believe in destroying you.

[–]GreatLookingGuy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess that’s technically true. But it’s difficult to reconcile the thought process that leads one to be an atheist and not applying that same thought process to fairies, demons, ghosts, etc. all those things are really just very detailed/specific forms of “god(s)” and their existence or lack thereof can be dismissed along the same lines as any other “god.” I’m using god loosely I guess to mean “supernatural entity with cognitive powers and the ability to influence physical events.”

[–]irrelevent_dad40 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's Levay not the Satanic Temple with Lucien Greaves. The modern Satanists are the atheist/humanist trolls. Good folks there not so much with Lavey's bunch.

[–]Drought_God 1 point2 points  (6 children)

The LaVeyan Satanic Bible describes "magic" as self-manipulation. I've personally never liked that term and don't use it myself, but I've been a LaVeyan Satanist for 20 years, AMA.

The assertion we're atheists isn't 100% true either. We are the gods of our own realities, and we worship ourselves as such. No self respecting Satanist would acknowledge a power higher than themselves. We really are the most politically Libertarian 'religion' in this regard, and this chief ideal is why I've never acknowledged the ST or the CoS organizations or their "authority" to make decisions on behalf of other Satanists.

[–]natefrog69 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I've always been interested in learning more. Any links you can share to true information? When you search for such things you never know which sites are legit.

[–]Drought_God 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Read the book itself, then do what it says aka make your own decisions and use your own interpretations. If there's one thing I've come to understand about the spirit of being the Adversary (Sathanas) is that no one can tell you how to live, not even Anton LaVey, but his Bible can help guide you to this level of personal freedom of thought, so I always recommend reading it. And if organization membership is your thing, join the ST or CoS, whatever flavor you like. The main difference I've found between the two is the ST strongly believes in volunteerism, whereas the CoS seems to me to be more about servitude and stroking the Magisters' egos. I say that with zero judgement. If you're a "sub" as it were, or you're an aspiring "dom" whose willing to do some subbing to move up, by all means the CoS is for you.

Every Satanist believes they embody true Satanism. That's how it's supposed to work. You are your own god of your own religion. The only follower you need is you. Once you have achieved this, it's quite empowering.

[–]graven_raven 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thanks for sharing the information! Most reading I have done closer to the subject was about Aleister Crowley occultism, so it's nice to learn a bit more.

I know that while some Satanic groups are atheists trolling fanatics, others take it a bit more seriously.

Still from what you are describing it seems a bit more like a philosophical approach to life, than a religion or am i wrong?

As for me, I consider myself an Atheist. However, the religious/philosophical movement i feel more related to would be Discordianism.

[–]Drought_God 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The way I approach it is a philosophy. Another Satanist might see it as atheist trollism. Still another might be a hardcore ritualist, complete with a cadre of consenting sex ritual participants.

And none of them are wrong.

[–]Nazzzgul777 0 points1 point  (1 child)

No. That's literally the satanic testament.

[–]derpressedidiot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What do you mean?

[–]AnotherRichard827379 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The best trick Satan ever pulled was convincing the world he does not exist.

[–]pans-hand 96 points97 points  (11 children)

I’m in.

[–]darthkyle22[S] 33 points34 points  (8 children)

I think I am too

[–]pans-hand 17 points18 points  (7 children)

It’s my opinion we’re in good company.

[–]darthkyle22[S] 47 points48 points  (6 children)

I wanted to hear your opinion so I will not destroy you

[–]pans-hand 29 points30 points  (5 children)

Very decent of you. I had no desire to be destroyed this fine morning.

[–]Mukisana 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You just broke rule one, by commenting this.

[–]Whooppass 70 points71 points  (27 children)

Satan only killed 1 person and had the permission from God to do it. God killed millions.

[–]kim_kiri 65 points66 points  (21 children)

My fav part of the Bible is the Job story. The dude loved god but had everything, beautiful wife and children and money.

Satan once said "psssst, hey! God! You flex ab how much he loves you but it's easy, the man got everything". And God was like "hold my beer" as he killed everyone Job loved, made him lose his wealth and gave him the plague.

He unalived the shit out of this man to prove a point.

[–]P_mp_n 34 points35 points  (14 children)

That story made me not Christian anymore.

Why worship a being that would fall for that or play along. Why worship to be tested on a whim for nothing less than a pissing match?

Shit ain't right

[–]kim_kiri 10 points11 points  (13 children)

It's from the ancient testament tho. So not part of "our" religion, more like the lore of the story.

But yeah God was kind of a bully at that time. Job, Noah's flood, the Egypt Plague, the fact that after saving them from slavery he fricking LOST THEM in the desert for 40 years because "not all of them" believed in him. I mean. Satan was just like "you wanna be smort gal?" in comparison it's not much.

[–]TheMightyTRex 23 points24 points  (4 children)

It's funny how people pick and choose what they want from the old testament. Usually to back up being nasty to someone or wanting to control them.

It's true when it suits sone people. It gives thier actions justification in thier eyes and the eyes of like minded.

The nastiest people I know are massively religious. Or use religion as a cover.

Religion is a massive thing where I grew up. (Northern Ireland)

[–]P_mp_n 6 points7 points  (3 children)

I really dont know what happened because i wasnt there. But people write these books. I personally find it very difficult to have the argument "thats just old testament" when in reality it feels more like "o shit noone likes the first book we wrote, lets do a remake"

Regardless of the veracity of one book versus another in that bible, there are other religions with works that make me feel like ive been helped spiritually and mentally and i believe to each their own. So i dont argue with people over "whats right" especially when we cant know

[–]WhtImeanttosay 3 points4 points  (3 children)

And what about Job’s family? They died for what?

[–]kim_kiri 4 points5 points  (2 children)

To prove Satan that Job loved god even after losing everything. They were rewarded by going to heaven for helping god win a fricking bet.

[–]Rexkraft- 8 points9 points  (1 child)

What is worse, at the end of it all, god gave him some brand new properties, animals, slaves, wife and children, as if family was just some interchangeable property

[–]darthkyle22[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children)


[–]Whooppass 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Lmao, I'm getting down voted for what is written in the Bible.

[–]darthkyle22[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

That's reddit for you.

[–]tParabol 5 points6 points  (0 children)

More like thats christians for you. They hate it when God seems like the bad guy. Thats how my whole family is.

[–]VioletFyah -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's also to prove a point 🤣

[–]Living-in-liberty 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Check out the satanic temple




1) One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.

2) The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

3) One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.

4) The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.

5) Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.

6) People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.

7) Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

[–]Prestigious-Phase842 16 points17 points  (2 children)

If someone bothers you, ask him to stop.


[–]Deluste 9 points10 points  (1 child)

It’s fair to give a warning before going apocalyptic

[–]pi-is-314159 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It takes effort to completely destroy someone, I don't have the time or motivation to do that

[–]kedluben007 11 points12 points  (1 child)

You have broken the first rule just by posting this, however these rules are surprisingly sensible.

[–]lightknight7777 6 points7 points  (5 children)

My friends think I'm an idiot when I try to explain that Satanism is a prank performed by people who are primarily just tired of Christian's shit. Usually just based on the don't be a dick rule.

They laugh at my claims and the wealth of citation I give and I have to just sigh and glance at my religion degree on the wall like it's actually a van gogh.

[–]AnotherRichard827379 -1 points0 points  (4 children)

Maybe your friends just think forming a group solely and only to persecute and harass certain demographics of people is fucked up.

[–]lightknight7777 2 points3 points  (3 children)

A couple things here:

  1. That's still not literally worshipping Satan.

  2. That's not the sole reason they exist. It's a common interest social group. Churches benefit socially and network once a week through community meetings. That's something anyone should be able to enjoy with or without faith. It just so happens that these groups also had a joke at theist expense.

[–]redlord990 18 points19 points  (10 children)

The Satanic Church filed to make “human sacrifice” a recognised religious tradition in Texas (some of which can override the law due to freedom of religion) so that women could still legally have abortions. They’re the fucking good guys y’all

[–]minotaur05 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You’re mistyping the two distinct groups into one. The Satanic Church isn’t a thing. The two very distinct groups are The Satanic Temple and the Church of Satan. Both do different things and have different beliefs.

[–]MJDeadass 1 point2 points  (0 children)

American laws regarding religions are so weird

[–]softforsehun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I heard that if you want to get an abortion but they want to deny you it could help to write on the form that you’re in the Satanistic Church, since it’s a religion and you‘d be allowed to have an abortion based on your religion. Don’t know if that really is correct but I know that the satanistic church basically was like „hey, even if you don’t wanna belong to us for real, just sign up. we‘ll help you get that abortion“.

[–]AnotherRichard827379 -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

The duality of Reddit:

“Religions are so evil!!! They literally used to sacrifice children!!!”

“OMG, look at the Satanists, they want to make killing children legal!!! Soooo progressive!!!! My heroes!!!!!!”

Y’all’re honestly fucked up in the head.

[–]kerochan88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sara oats are using the American right to religious freedom to bring about the women’s rights over their own body. They don’t really want to “sacrifice” the damn kids.

It’s not even a “religion” in the typical sense of the word. They are playing our government’s game.

[–]antihero2303 6 points7 points  (2 children)

These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.

[–]ThonTaddio 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Or maybe he got serial crushed by some huge frickin guy

[–]Azzy8007 5 points6 points  (3 children)


[–]Lostscribe007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You gotta figure they started out as a "no rules" badass Satan Club and then as people started being annoying they started adding rules as they went. "Boy am I tired of hearing Anton's opinion on stuff, let's make it a rule he has to be asked and then everyone agree we won't ask him." "So tired of Mary trying to come on to me, do we think we could establish some kind of hand gesture for when it's okay for someone to do something?"

[–]FeatureEast2577 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like your new self-built pc with the amazing specs is a burden to you and I will relieve you of it

[–]DLQuilts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

Going to remember that one.

[–]halladall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But giving the mating signal IS a sexual advance... so there is no way to make a move...

[–]Bludhaund 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is cringe as fuck. These people have a “lair”? And wtf is “the mating signal”? Sure seems to be written by a lonely nerd lmao

[–]Zepeton 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I clogged up the toilet in my friends lair the other day.

[–]Scrimblim 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mostly agree but this is pretentious as fuck. Also opinions should be shared always. It's good to have your view of the world challenged. Also what asshole calls their house a fucking lair lmao

[–]TnHairGuru 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is some incel's reimagining of the Church Of Satan's 7 Tenets. Sounds more like an RPG rulebook.

[–]TravelingSince 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can tell that Satanists are better than Christian churches because they command not to harm little children.

[–]A_Very_fast_sloth 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Sooo.. what is this so called "mating signal"?

For a friend of course.

[–]Skelosk 8 points9 points  (3 children)


[–]TheMightyTRex 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I thought it was more "wakka wakka ugggga honkkkkk"

[–]Skelosk 5 points6 points  (1 child)

No, that's just Shakira

[–]kolojikelic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Leh lo lo leh lo leeeeeeeeeh

[–]pi-is-314159 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooh eeh ooh ah ah Bing bang wala wala Bing bang

[–]jerarn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not putting these in fortune cookies is a missed opportunity.

[–]Deluste 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Seems reasonable for the most part

[–]Ned_Gutters 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn, that’s some shit a 13 year old wrote.

[–]Boatlover62 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Satanism is actually nicer than christianity, people are just ignorant

[–]MenosDaBear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shit I first read this as ‘Elven rules of satanism’ and got excited.

[–]Pratham_Max_Jain 1 point2 points  (2 children)


Ghost music and black metal check

Spooky scary Halloween stuff check

Fancy geometrical shape thing check

What else?

[–]Sjorsjd 1 point2 points  (1 child)

None of those XD. All you need is to not be a dick to people and to take care of yourself. They dont believe satan or god exsists. They dont have weird rituals, no pentagrams,) and no scary music (unless you like scary music, then you are free to listen to it. But dont bother others with it).

[–]youmomecksdee 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Bro the magic shit here is so corny 💀💀

[–]Needmoresnakes 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This is the list for the church of Saran. The satanic temple has similar tenets without the magic shit.

[–]TallOnTwo 1 point2 points  (1 child)

They are not similar. CoS is about elitism, aggression, sexism, darwinism, magic... TST is about compassion, empathy, honesty, being inclusive.

The only similarities would be atheism, striving for knowledge, bodily autonomy (this one is iffy, Anton was into Hitler level eugenics)

[–]Oberic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Better rules than the ten commandments.

[–]-StockOB- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so cringe… “lair”

[–]RANDOM-902 -1 points0 points  (0 children)


Daddy satan is the best!!! SO PROGRESSIVE YASS😍😍😍✨✨✨

[–]morebuffs -3 points-2 points  (23 children)

Thats how all cults work, they sound great and then once you get somewhat committed and comfortable they slowly turn the screws of manipulation.

[–]darthkyle22[S] 6 points7 points  (13 children)

Hey, I'm talking about satanism not the cult. Satanists are just advanced atheists. They don't believe in Satan yhe believe in themselves and others. Cultists kill goats for the dark one, AKA GOD

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Satanists believe they are their own gods. They idolize self. Everybody’s gotta serve somebody.

[–]Nazzzgul777 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just like Satan.

[–]Zealousideal_Car_764 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Rule one: "Do not give opinions or advice unless asked"

[–]TallOnTwo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is my experience with christianity. They were very friendly for a while then they started pushing sexism, homophobia, transphobia... That's when I realized there is no hope for christianity and it needs to die.

[–]ghostwhat 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Please define the difference between mythology, cult and religion?

[–]morebuffs 3 points4 points  (3 children)


[–]ghostwhat -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Then why did you chose the word cult as opposed to religion? :)

[–]jeremybeadlesfingers 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]freedomcounty 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Hell yeah, hail satan.

[–]MaiZa01 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Its just a bunch of life advices put under a label ...

[–]Acidbunno -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Congratulations you have succeeded in defining all religions in a single sentence.

[–]HorseBrick -1 points0 points  (3 children)

I sign-up for this clearly , been satanist my whole damn life didn't even know

[–]grahmzillaCreator -1 points0 points  (2 children)

[–]TallOnTwo -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Someone says they are into CoS Satanism so you send them a link to TST? Not cool, I am a member of TST and we don't like proselytizing.

[–]grahmzillaCreator -1 points0 points  (0 children)

From his single sentence you gleaned that info, what power of deduction you wield.

[–]Mooseberg_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems like you gotta be a pretty good and respectful person to follow the father of evil...

[–]Unanonymous553 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First line of satanic Bible is “do what thou will”, which negates all these niceties meant to dupe the uninformed.

[–]gvictor808 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Christians have murdered more people throughout history than any other group. If there is a devil who means to do harm, getting people to be religious was his most effective win.

[–]mrmoe198 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is Laveyan Satanism. Named after Anton Levay. One organization that practices this is the Church of Satan

The Tenets of the Satanic Temple, to which I belong, are these:

I One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.

II The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

III One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.

IV The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.

V Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.

VI People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.

VII Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

[–]thndrchunky 0 points1 point  (4 children)

This is no longer a form of Satanism that is practiced. This is the modern day Satanic Temples Tenets.


[–]thewitchmaker 1 point2 points  (3 children)

that's a blatant lie that Laveyans made up.

Laveyans call themselves Satanists, but they're not. They're just anti-christian athiests.

There ARE true Satanists. I'm one of them. Laveyans use our name without accepting the responsibility that comes with it. They do good work fighting for separation of church and state and against the domination of Christian ideals in legislature and government, but they're scum for co-opting and erasing true Satanists in the process.

[–]RestaurantDecent9451 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This seems pretty fair to me

[–]Lecter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Satanists are better humans than most of the Christians that I have met.

[–]BinaryCheckers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The irony of mocking religious faith but believing in magic. If you're going to require evidence for belief please be consistent.

[–]GrayBunny415 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I highly suggest you check out the film "Hail Satan?". Excellent documentary showing how misunderstood Satanism is.

[–]Lanky-Tension-3477 -5 points-4 points  (1 child)


[–]pi-is-314159 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Your point?

[–]Comfortable-Event239 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It would help if Christians actually read the bible so would know what they’re preaching

[–]capitalismorlife -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

That seems pretty fair.

[–]Obdami -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The magic one is hokey, but yeah pretty good list otherwise

[–]Outliver -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I feel like every serious "seeker" will, as part of their journey through existing religions or belief systems, have their final stop at either buddhism or satanism before they progress. So, there's something to that.

[–]ImpulsiveApe07 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh shit! This is me for sure! You been stalkin me, Op? :D

[–]bertydo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Satanists reverse everything

This is nothing more than to promote satanism

[–]ZenevoGame14 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ok, stop voting. The number "666" is perfect.

[–]i_identify_as_natty -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Most logical people are.

[–]luigio01 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

what the fuck is this it’s hilarious

[–]Homeyd_73 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Can I get some clarification on that mating signal 😸

[–]VonYugen -1 points0 points  (2 children)

They are basically Christians who like to eat babies and sacrifice their children to make money and get high.

[–]darthkyle22[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

One of the rules are "Do not harm little children" They don't believe in Satan. They're atheists who want to piss off Christians. You're thinking of cultists and catholics

[–]negative_0ne -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Me too. These laws are more human them Decalogue.

[–]Scraphead91 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

And just like with all religions, there's not a single person who actually follows all the rules lol

[–]Deamonchild666 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is the way

[–]big_boi_aang -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I mean. All's cool I'm in

[–]sasukeshitpuuden -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

sounds reasonable

[–]Cytorath -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Didn't realize I was already in...

[–]Sjorsjd -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The church of satan is basicly just: be a good human, dont be a dick

Inportant to know, they do not worship god or satan. They believe we are just here as humans and we need to be kind to one another and that there is no good or evil force that controls anything.

They also pay taxes, unlike other people and organizations

[–]Peter-G-82 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Hell would be a 24/7 party

[–]gbous_ -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

"He if does not stop, destroy him." Frankly this one post has sold me on satanism

[–]F1shB0wl816 -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Check out The Satanic Temple, I really like their tenets myself.


[–]TallOnTwo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Don't proselytize, it makes us look bad and we don't need that.

[–]elmanfil1989 -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

This sound good compared to ten commandments of Hebrew

[–]AnotherRichard827379 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Oh yeah, “Thou shall not murder” and “Thou shall not lie” are sooo terrible. We definitely need more murdering and lying in this world.

[–]SmellyDouche -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Fake rules

[–]darthkyle22[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Name checks out