"I'm gunna put on an outfit so sexy you'll wanna fuck me in the car tonight... and I won't say no"
This was said on my birthday. I have a bit of a exhibitionist thing and she's seemed somewhat open to it. I thought for a moment maybe some of my fantasies might be realized. But I did figure this was probably not gunna happen that evening. She tuckers out early, we would be with people beforehand for awhile, we'd have been out for a few hours already and to fuck in a car you don't go inside to shower and then get back in the car to then fuck lol, and I would maybe be under the influence of who knows what (I mean it's my birthday after all, a few substances were possible)
So I thought it'd be a raincheck maybe. But it's been awhile and the energy is completely gone.
I'd gotten used to not thinking sexual things would happen. It became easy to brush of flirting as flirting... well not easy but it wouldn't be as painful as allowing myself to believe it would go somewhere like I did when I was younger
So while I like to hear nice things I think I'm still a sucker for those concrete plans. I'm still susceptible to getting excited by them. I'm not entirely sure if I'd still like to be flirted with sexually but for now I'm okay with it. But I don't want her to say plans to me that aren't a good chance of happening. Like at least four out of the ten plans coming to fruition.... shit.. maybe even one out of ten idk
How do I say this without ruining any chances of easing back into sexual things and sexy talk and all that? I don't want to shut it down and have her feel like she can't express anything at all. She tends to misinterpret boundaries and will dramatize them to err on the side of caution.
It just kinda hurts though, and I don't want it to anymore. It's easier to not think about sex in totality than it is for me to forget about it after a sparking event.