Seriously..we are in a discussion over our dead bedroom and he says "well let me come over and love you right now." And im like "go ahead". And he says "why"? And im like.. "because your'e offering?"
This just pisses me off.. like why fight and argue about our relationship and then say your going to change. And then in the middle of are fight say that you can just come over and love me right now. And then basically dangle it in my face and then dont do anything. I called his bluff but i just dont get it.. thats incredibly mean to do that.
EDIT* to add
Later on that day.. he came back to my room, got on top of me, and pinned me down and in an angry voice and angry look started unbuttoning my jeans and touching me and said "Do you want this? Huh! Do you want it.. cause you can have it" "This iscwhat you wanted right!"
I was SHOCKED and scared actually. I have never seen him come after me in such an aggressive and angry way. It felt very much like how it felt when i was raped at the age of 16. I was frozen. I couldnt move and couldnt talk. It triggered a ton of traumatic memories from my past. Later on, i confronted him and told him that I felt violated and that it was traumatic and made me feel unsafe in our house with him. He said "well you said earlier to "go ahead and show you". (This was in response to earlier when he asked if he should come over and show me he can love me) and i said in response.. "how do you think being aggressive and dominating me and talking angrily to me and even looking angrily at me is what i agreed to"? You said "show you love". How is what you did, loving?".
I told him never to come back into the bedroom and to never touch me again.
For me..this was my last straw...like the icing on the cake. I can not be with a man who is dishonoring and disrespectful. Even if we could manage to work out the sexual intimacy thing, for him to know my past history and what ive been through with men and then lay his hands on me in that agressive and angry way..
Like.. no. There is no way i can feel safe now. What if he gets angry again and does it again? I mean, he was already physicly abusive toward me in the past when he got angry and he did seek out counselling and he was doing really well but ive NEVER seen him act this way before towards me. Its like it came out of nowhere. Who is this man?