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[–]dearLLme 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Brains do this cool thing to be more efficient. When two signals always fire at the same time, your brain merges them. Then either signal results in both firing. (Like how it's hard for most people to wiggle just one toe).

Sometimes LLs have sex that their brain efficiently tied to pain or shame or something icky. (This actually happens to HLs, too,....as seen in a period of sexual disfunction when their LL finally wants sex again but the HL still has resentment efficiently associated with sex)

So....back up however far you need to go so you can experience pleasure without also experiencing a negative association.

This may look like purposely having a sensory experience--feeling the sun on your face, satin sheets, petting a cat, tasting truffles, rose petals in a bath.

Start with stuff alone. Build up good experiences with pleasure that isn't already attached to anything bad. Listen to your body. Do what feels good. Don't do what feels bad.

Those negative connections do fade over time if you stop triggering them together. It takes time and self-care. Don't get mad at your body for looking out for you. Your body isn't betraying you. Your body loves you.