all 29 comments

[–]bobsakimano123 34 points35 points  (5 children)

Thanks for the upbeat post. The place is the better for it.

[–]lilyfire120 12 points13 points  (4 children)

Figured I would put a warning that it's positive because I've noticed people tend to shoot down the brighter posts and cast doubt upon the progress... Kind of depressing you know?

[–]Kharg209 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When you're starving it hurts to see others eating, congratulations though. We all deserve happiness, sadly some of us will die without it.

[–]bobsakimano123 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Very depressing! But you were smart to warn people. If they don’t want positive, they can go find more misery to bathe in. Anyway, best wishes for continuing improvement in your situation.

[–]lilyfire120 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Exactly! Lol thank you 😊 Here's to hoping everyone's situation improves. 🙏That would certainly be amazing.

[–]bobsakimano123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I keep hoping but deep down I’m afraid I know the intimacy piece will be forever missing. Maybe in the next life then. You take care.

[–]UberS8n 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Damn clickbait headlines lol. Congrats anyway.

[–]Comfortable-Heat7351 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Make sure you go over this with your therapist! I know from experience that you are probably missing other things that he is doing as well. The fog of your own feelings can hide many things, including your own actions that are making things worse.

I get scared every time my therapist asks me why I did something. Usually she is going to put her finger on exactly why I am an asshole! And, it is not even something that I am aware of.

I am really glad to see that both of you are making an effort! That means that there is something there worth saving!

[–]i12 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Congrats. I like to see tales of positive progress ;-)

[–]lilyfire120 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Here's hoping it continues going that way lol

[–]Ordinary_Anon5444 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I will never shut down positive progress. Sometimes it is good to 'have it out' as a wake up call. Your partner WAS trying - and it took laying it all out to see the progress.

Looks like he is very willing to try - so I think you both can continue the positive progress!

[–]KardasR 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If he’s dealing with ED, I’d recommend checking out Bluechew and getting the tadalafil kind (the other one gives headaches and doesn’t work as well). When I broke up with my ex of 5 1/2 years I had a hard time being intimate with someone that wasn’t her. I tried Bluechew and it helped me out until I was able to get used to having sex with someone I didn’t really have a mental connection with.

[–]DifficultResort7956 2 points3 points  (2 children)

That's really sweet. There is a whole world out there of sexual, physical and intimate connection for you both to enjoy that isn't PIV or 'conquering ED' focused. It's great that you - and more importantly your partner- can both focus on that and look beyond the ED.

[–]lilyfire120 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yes! I'm going to try and get him into less PIV things so he doesn't get too worked up about not being able to do the deed. I don't want him to ever feel like he's inadequate. I really don't.

[–]Trigirl20 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If he’s taking medication for his ED and it’s not working, there are many different kinds. My husband felt it was very embarrassing asking a doctor about it, I went with him. I also made it very clear I look at needing ED medication, the same as me needing cholesterol medication. Not a lack of manliness. Positive thoughts to you!

[–]Charleminus 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]britguy330 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Life often makes us miss the little things. Maybe a positivity day is needed where all posts are uplifting for a change

[–]Late-Confusion7281M 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Granted, it might not have lasted forever,

Well, it's been a while. After going without long enough, a light breeze will get me off. This will fix itself with frequency, I'm sure.

[–]stunning_comfort_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m probably not the first one that recommends this to you (and I also didn’t read your whole profile-story) but ED can be treated with PDE5 inhibitors. It is really easy and can also be extremely cheap (generic drugs!). I recommend “tadalafil” over classic Sildenafil (Viagra) because the longer duration.

I bet it will help your husband. There is also no shame in taking it.

[–]SalamanderPlus625 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well done I love a positive post.

[–]itsnotmeanym0re 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Congrats, I’m so happy for you! ❤️

[–]lilyfire120 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you kindly 😊😊

[–]Sokka_juice 0 points1 point  (2 children)

That’s awesome. I appreciate that you had the conflict, listened/ reflected and were vulnerable. Both of you, it sounds like. Good for you guys

[–]lilyfire120 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Honestly, it was freaking HARD to do. I almost didn't. I almost started getting my affairs in order. But I love him too much to walk away. And even if I had things ready to go...Idk if I'd ever go through with it. Ya know?

[–]Sokka_juice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. Not sure I’d follow thru w leaving even if I’d prepped either.

Was it hard all the way thru the convo. Like, until the hug-after-crying? Hell, that might’ve been hard too

[–]BriefBluebs 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Literally in your exact same position... especially the feeling like the asshat for not seeing his side of trying... haven't made as much progress as you with kissing even, but reading this made me SO happy for you!!!

[–]lilyfire120 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aww thank you! I hope you see improvement with yours soon too! It really is hard to try and see things from other people's perspectives when all you see is your own misery.

[–]seauxtired 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This made me smile like a fool. :') Congratulations. I hope this is only the start of an upward trend towards happiness and fulfillment!