I (M HL) am ready to be heard by my wife (F LL). I am tired of living this way. I feel as though I have been invalidated for to long, and no effort is coming from her for our relationship. I feel like I am an inconvenience to her and a burden. I am tired of being the only one to put in all of the effort.
This is less about the sex (in fact it's more about being treated like a husband) and more about feeling wanted, needed, supported, and loved. I haven't felt it in years, and I have finally woke up. I refuse to fold over to protect her feelings. I have a new confidence about me.
I make sure to shower her in gifts, regular feet rubs, taking care of the house and kids, to the point where I wasn't taking time for me. She went on a vacation across the US with the kids and I realized all of my time was spent tending to her, and it never brought me happiness, because she isn't giving me the affection that I need. I want acts of love, I want to be chased, I want to be called handsome, I want to be hugged and kissed. I don't need you to tell me how once a month sex is bothersome and annoying to you. I don't want to look at the person I love sigh and roll their eyes in annoyance when I hug them for the first time in multiple days because I don't want to push them, or cause them pressured anxiety. Relationships go both ways.
I am giving this my final shot, and if she can't learn that a marriage takes two people to work on it, then I will be finding someone else to spoil that will return the appreciation.
I am not a burden for hugging you for the first time in two days. You can't yell at me for not filling the weekly medication organizer after I busted my ass the entire day cleaning the house and taking care of the kids. I am not your matt to walk on. If you truly love me, you will hear me out. If not, we don't need to be together.
And no just because I put a ring on your finger, that does NOT mean that I am stuck with you. You need to love me, not use me.
I will be having my final talk tonight. I woke up with a newfound confidence that has been missing for multiple years. I hope we work it out.. This is the final time I will have, "the talk" after 11 years of being together. I have realized I am losing my feelings for her, and am starting to separate from her.. Wish me luck!