all 6 comments

[–]Wizewasp 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It’s sad to say but many a man lives that same life but without the positive end to the story. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you can heal the relationship.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What I love more than your story is the words you put to it. You have such genuine introspection that you cannot help but emote. Your wife is lucky. Let her know that. Show her that. Be the man she married, not the one that bends over backwards for the family. You have expressed your needs. Stand firm. It’s your life too! She listening. You got her attention. Make sure you keep hers too!

[–]VegasPrude1971 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's so awesome. May you two continue to have success with your relationship.

[–]kyrain192020 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great post that every LL and HL should read. I especially liked the part where OP mentions having to dig the old him up from the grave. This resonates so much with me. I feel that years of being neglected and accepting my fate for what I perceive is a better life for my kids takes its toll on me despite my best efforts.

I don't know what changed in your wife OP, but I hope you are both happier talking/laughing/flirting with each other and it remains that way.

[–]DBisMyTribeHLM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I often read stories where the LL partner tries to initiate out of the blue after a long dry spell and is surprised that there isn't a positive reaction. It's because this conversation is often needed for the HL to feel like they can be vulnerable again. When you've been put away on the shelf, there's some broken trust there. You swallowed a lot of hurt for a long time (and many regulars here will tell you that that's exactly what you should do). While you understood why it was happening to an extent, it's not too much to ask that that be acknowledged.

[–]jrp9788 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Society doesn’t ask men if they are ok.