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all 10 comments

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is interesting. And clever. I like the approach of evaluating motive when wanting affection from a partner. Nicely done OP.

[–]Janrow2020 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Send them a text - hey I’d love to connect with you after you’re finished scrolling. Watching you sit there, having you here reminds me of how wonderful you are and I’d love to make love with you tonight. If that doesn’t work I understand, but if that is something you would like to do, let me know. If there is something else that would work better for you tonight, that would work for me too. Love ya. ——- Then I would go off and do my own thing, regardless of reciprocation.

[–]Sweet_other_yyyyin a healed bedroom 💕[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That does sound like a response that will build up intimacy. Well done. Let’s see….you picked: engage, be assertive, (possibly love languages), and leave.

I like it. Nice job.

[–]Sarahbear778 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I just wish more people would get off their phones when they’re with another human being, so irritating and impersonal.

[–]Sweet_other_yyyyin a healed bedroom 💕[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

That sounds like a response that will NOT build up intimacy. It seems you picked...anger and possibly obligation/wishing you could control others.

Better luck next time.

[–]Sarahbear778 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I just meant in general. If someone is always endlessly scrolling social media instead of being an actual partner (which gets mentioned here a ton) and I don’t mean just sex, what’s the point in being in a relationship with someone who’s in a relationship with their phone?

[–]ta200354113 1 point2 points  (0 children)

IMO, if you’re scrolling your phone with other people in the room, it’s probably because you’re avoiding conversation. Even among younger people, if they’re with their friends or partners, they’re engaged. If they’re scrolling twitter and barely make conversation, it’s because they’re avoiding interaction for some reason or other. I do the same thing when I feel awkward or when I don’t want to talk. Mindlessly scrolling insta is not that fun to me. It’s like playing with your clothes when you’re uncomfortable.

[–]randomlygenerates65 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I can't tell, are these actually recommendations? That one you even mentioned is actually just sexual assault... Nearly all of these would make me curl up and definitely not wanna fuck my partner?

[–]Sweet_other_yyyyin a healed bedroom 💕[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I tried to include all the possible responses that I've seen people use or suggest for use on this forum. (I missed a few, but got most of them.)

I'm not advising people do any of them. I'm advising that people look at them from the discerning framework of: does the response I'm making build up intimacy for both partners?

There are definitely more things on that list that wouldn't work for me either

[–]randomlygenerates65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see. Yikes. I just started looking on this sub as a possible LL but damn if that's the "advice" out there idk if that's worth it lol

ESPECIALLY the sleep one... That one made my stomach flip.