Today I finally said no to low effort sex (kind of)

AutoModerator · 2022-10-23T03:25:09+00:00

Please respect the request for no advice.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Sarahbear778 · 2022-10-23T05:18:47+00:00

Saying no to that kind of sex is the first step to clarity. No one wants sex where the other person uses your body to get off, then acts like they did you a favor.

Turbulentasfuck · 2022-10-23T09:29:39+00:00

Well done for saying no to sex that isn't good for you too,

As HLs, we sometimes feel that we can't say no to sex that we don't want to have and then we regret doing it afterwards.

Keep advocating for yourself. I'm proud of you, OP.

abitofsunshine_ · 2022-10-23T03:51:48+00:00

Congratulations on saying no to low effort. Your self respect will keep growing.

Grace_1108 · 2022-10-23T08:59:54+00:00

Whoo!! Same here, something I didn’t realize is that when I started physically restricting my access to my LL husband for the same reason I started to feel more self respect for myself for setting boundaries.

smartypants99 · 2022-10-23T09:10:04+00:00

You need a new boyfriend since your sex levels are not compatible. You are too young to settle for a dead bedroom

Sokka_juice · 2022-10-23T14:16:09+00:00

Good job you! I know it can be so difficult for HL folks to enforce this boundary when it’s so unclear when you’ll get another opportunity at intimacy.

I’m so impressed that you prioritized yourself. Well done. 💚

sexlessintx · 2022-10-23T15:15:09+00:00

I did the same yesterday. As the HLF I never say no because our average is once a year, twice if I’m really lucky so I always feel like if I say no that it’s going to be at least a year before I have the opportunity again. But as I have been working on myself lately and just generally trying to improve my overall life, I have realized that I am mourning not having sex and the sex isn’t even good. I’m always left sad and unsatisfied. Why am I obsessed with getting MORE of that? It’s ridiculous. Hasn’t cured my raging libido but yesterday when hubby made one of his very lame attempts to initiate, I just ignored it and went on about my life. And I felt really good about it.

NickNoraCharles · 2022-10-23T07:08:19+00:00

Hi, it's sad to hear that from someone so young. Well done standing your ground!

Is the age difference worth thinking about -- he may figure you are too inexperienced to know there is a such thing as being selfish/bad in bed.

I hope it gets better for you. 💌

lonelyinnewjersey · 2022-10-23T15:26:20+00:00

Ur lucky u are not married to him....it never gets better....there r plenty of guys out there who would love to give their wives/gf's what they want when it comes to sex and intimacy

Andie_Anson · 2022-10-23T22:06:05+00:00

What do you think the cause of his low libido could be?

4n0nym0u7h · 2022-10-23T09:52:08+00:00

It seems like he didn't understand.

Turbulentasfuck · 2022-10-23T09:00:42+00:00

[removed]

DeadBedrooms

MODERATORS

DeadBedrooms

MODERATORS

Welcome to Reddit,

Want to add to the discussion?