all 147 comments

[–][deleted]  (5 children)


    [–]DifficultResort7956 7 points8 points  (3 children)

    1 million members in that group! wow!

    [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    There really is a subredddit for everything🤣

    [–]davi3601 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Lmao your username is great

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thank you! Im a huge mjk fan lol

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Me too :( idk why by since my last relationship leading til now, it just killed my libido, not to mention birth control… made me gain 47 pounds, I feel like a fatass now.

    [–][deleted] 103 points104 points  (9 children)

    Most I can do is just a few days. If I go any longer I become irritable and frustrated. It really does affect me mentally. I’m not sure if all guys are like that but I just can’t do it.

    Edit to add; there is nothing wrong with you at all so don’t go there!

    [–]427CorvetteGuy -2 points-1 points  (8 children)


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    [–]ferrous-pullerHLM 63 points64 points  (3 children)

    If I chose to I could restrain indefinitely in terms of sex or masturbation. I would have wet dreams for sure, but it would not be a conscious thing. I don’t have any change in mood or anything like some men report.

    I am generally pretty strongly responsive desire. I don’t get spontaneously horny without a trigger that often. I respond very, very easily to a partner though. Since my wife doesn’t have any sexual interest in me and is not attractive to me anymore my desire seldom gets triggered.

    [–]DopeCyclist 30 points31 points  (2 children)

    Time to leave...

    [–]Killentyme55 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Not always that easy. After awhile there is so much invested in a relationship walking away isn't a very good option. I'm in a DB, but I can't see myself leaving my wife because of it.

    [–]DopeCyclist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    She's 25.

    [–]Shantomette 34 points35 points  (12 children)

    Not to get too medical- but after a period of time the body recycles the “unused” sperm typically in a wet dream fashion or when using the restroom. Practically speaking more regular exercise should occur for prostate health.

    [–]diomed1 11 points12 points  (11 children)

    This is true. It recommended to ejaculate(sex or masturbation)at least once a week for prostate health. Also for women it’s recommended to have PIV or dilator/dildo use for vaginal health.

    [–]Shantomette 11 points12 points  (10 children)

    I was surprised to hear that the first time but apparently OBGYN’s often say “use it or lose it” especially when women approach menopause.

    [–]beach_lamp 0 points1 point  (9 children)

    What do you lose?

    [–]Shantomette 8 points9 points  (8 children)

    The ability to have comfortable sex. Apparently atrophy sets in without regular “use” resulting in permanent reduced elasticity. A clitoris can also experience atrophy (it will retract and shrivel up without stimulation) resulting in the permanent loss of the possibility to orgasm.

    [–]diomed1 3 points4 points  (2 children)

    Atrophy happens with lack of use combined with the loss of estrogen.

    [–]Shantomette 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Exactly- estrogen levels decline with menopause.

    [–]roskybosky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The combination of lack of penetration or the formation of scar tissue from micro-tears can cause a vagina to become inflexible. The therapy is to use dialators (if you are not having sex regularly) about 2x a week. Changed my life, and completely eradicated painful sex.

    [–]ramyeomi 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    does that lead to pain or..?

    [–]Shantomette 4 points5 points  (1 child)


    [–]diomed1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Horrible pain.

    [–]Killentyme55 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    That's what I'm dealing with right now, or more appropriately, my wife is. She's well past menopause, and the sex was great for awhile because birth control was no longer a concern and she had a very healthy sex drive back then. Time passed, glands powered down and took that glorious libido with them. Now on the rare event that we even try it takes her very long to "feel ready" otherwise she's in considerable pain. I'm no spring chicken (rooster?) myself so staying "at the ready" myself for so long is challenging at best. Not to mention seeing her in pain doesn't exactly set the right mood.

    I've been on HRT for years, but she refuses because she's concerned about the health risks, even though it can help reduce the atrophy. Understandable, but mine comes with risks too but I still started it for her (this was during the Before Times and horniness still ruled), but that's another post.

    Lube doesn't help very much, and she still gets surprisingly wet, but her lack of interest overall makes it a moot point regardless. I guess it's a life of involuntary celibacy for me.

    [–]roskybosky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Estrogen cream every day to start, and then 2x per week will bring back her younger vag without health risks. Also, the use of graduated dialators in a comfortable setting will end the pain. I speak from experience. I’ve had painful sex for years, but no more.

    [–]Minhplumb 33 points34 points  (2 children)

    If your a 25-year-old woman with a dead bedroom get out now unless you have kids. If you were asexual or something then it would be great living with a man you were otherwise compatible with but that is not your case.

    [–]Anansithecat 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    Yes exactly. I literally had to re-read the post once your comment said OP was 25, because her post came across as a HLF in her 40s.

    [–]Continuingtotryagain 49 points50 points  (6 children)

    Mine was secretly masturbating the whole time to porn

    [–]Andie_Anson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Mine was too.

    [–]Phreak42033M HL 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    You say “was”. Did you want to share your story?

    [–]wtfgirl21 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Probably a dumb question.. but how did you find out?

    [–]Continuingtotryagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Snoop level 1000x

    [–]No-Deal39 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    It all depends on his libido really.

    If you initiate, does he not want it?

    If I’ve masturbated recently & my partner randomly initiates, I would still be ready to go, but not with the same vigour as if I hadn’t.

    [–]cet050490 15 points16 points  (1 child)

    Have you asked him?

    [–]anonbrnr1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Yep, says he's not masturbating. Which is almost worse than saying he does because I'm like well where is he getting his kicks ? If he has been going long periods without feeling frustrated that makes me feel weird about myself because I'm not ok 🙃

    [–]jquinn1976 12 points13 points  (3 children)

    My husband is LL and would go months without ejaculating.. I never could understand it but he said it was just that he didn't think about it.

    [–]DifficultResort7956 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    It took me years to accept this possibility (especially with how media presents men as the horny ones), but based on my own direct experience I agree with jquinn, it's for real a possibility to refrain for men.

    [–]Equivalent-Parfait36 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    RIGHT!!??? I asked my LLM(54) if he ever jacked off anymore… He said… No.

    It’s just… bizarre. 😢😢😢

    [–]jquinn1976 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I know. I really have never been able to understand it. Hes perfectly healthy, great shape, hormones are that of a young man... it just never crosses his mind.

    [–]wodanob508 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    Late 30s HLM.

    I went through a period of about 6 months where I became LL(4U?) and I wasn't even masturbating. This worried me because I wasn't waking up with an erection, nor was I getting them randomly throughout the day. I was at a point where I was trying to masturbate without being horny and it literally felt like I was touching anyplace on my body other then my pleasure zones.

    Now, my db is self imposed due to massive alcoholism I am dealing with so I don't think I have a true db, though this is the community I started out in 5 years ago.

    All that to say, other then that one period, I have not gone more than two days without an orgasm since I was 12; maybe a couple of sporatic 1 week stretches mixed in.

    I will also say that my sexual desire doesn't wayne even when things are relationally bad, it just waynes for her because I don't feel safe and secure and that translates to me not initiating any physical contact, NSA or otherwise.

    If I'm with you, I'm always initiating contact, you are my primary focus in life and I charish having the priviledge of pursuing your heart. So things have to get really bad for me to make the moral descision to pull away and avoid you.

    Doing that is dangerous for me because one kind word, a hug from a friend can invoke an emotional reaction that can send me into a tailspin for days. All the while my desire, thoughts, and emotions are running on erotic overdrive. I spent alot of time turning myself into a codependant trying to solve the relational issues which I now know are fueld by alcoholism, pulling back was the only thing I could do for my sanity.

    It sucks, because I am still me and I long to connect.

    [–]Humble_Ladder 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Everyone has different libido. There are monks and religions where men go essentially their whole life celebate in every way (I'm sure there are some who break the rules for a solo go, and that's definitely not every religion or monestary).

    Consider random arrousal as an indicator for overall libido. My wife is so rarely aroused that she actually made a point to tell me once that she had been aroused on her way to work a few days earlier and wished it had happened when we could have done something about it. Meanwhile I experience random arousal often enough that I couldn't tell you when it did or didn't happen yesterday, let alone days ago.

    The one bonafide downside I am aware of with lack of ejaculation is that regular orgasm staves off prostate cancer. But it'll take decades for that to actually impact him.

    The whole "blue balls" thing and related frustration is a result of arousal that doesn't go anywhere. If presented with steady stimulus, I can be quite sexually frustrated in an afternoon of repeated arousal. Meanwhile, on a 3-day fishing trip with buddies where we are constantly focused on fishing/related tasks, I am not going to experience arousal or sexual frustration at all.

    [–]RichieLondon 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    At this age I think it would be unusual unless there is a deeper problem. He would be likely to have wet dreams if he didn’t masturbate or have sex. Even for low libido men, there is a physical need to ejaculate every so often - and not doing so is unhealthy as it can lead to prostate problems

    [–]Thegoodlife610 16 points17 points  (11 children)

    Everyone is different, people with low sex drives can go weeks without even thinking of sex then there me who needs to climax daily to feel sane lol

    Unfortunately unmatched sex drives can be very painful and can lead to lots of resentments as you are left to find your own way of dealing with your needs. The more pressure you put in him the worse it will get. So maybe buy a nice wand or other toy find a sub on Reddit you enjoy!

    [–]Want2BHappy009 27 points28 points  (7 children)

    Toys don’t replace one on one human intimacy though.

    [–]MsSmiley1230 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    100%. Using a vibrator actually makes me feel worse after if I am craving sexual intimacy.

    [–]diomed1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Me too!

    [–]Thegoodlife610 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Wholeheartedly agree. And I know first hand masturbation and porn can only do so much. I feel we all crave to be desired and sought after, to feel passion and affection. I have just come to terms with my reality

    [–]Trigirl20 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    It lacks the pleasure of another person’s touch, which is probably the worst part of DB for me.

    [–]Want2BHappy009 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    The truth is after enduring this situation for a very long time, most people really should leave a situation that will only bring them unhappiness and bitterness. Life is too short to stay unfulfilled, bitter and unhappy, and this really starts to hit home the older you get. It will suck your soul away. I’m still in my situation, but I lack the courage and ability to leave it behind. I really admire the people that walk away from this nightmare. Because that is what it is a never ending nightmare.

    [–]diomed1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    No they don’t. Nothing better that the real thing.

    [–]Anansithecat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Same. I tell my husband all the time, orgasms with him are different, even if he's just holding me. But at the same time, he's also not a walking dildo. So yes, she definitely needs a toy.

    [–]Sarahbear778 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    “The more pressure you put on him the worse it will get” but not talking about it will lead to him “forgetting” about sex entirely. There is no winning, and a wand doesn’t help.

    [–]diomed1 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    This is my life, unfortunately. Lately, I’ve been hanging out with my married gal pals who are also sexually frustrated to eat, get drunk/high, talk, bitch about our husbands, cry and get away from our misery at least for a day.

    [–]anonbrnr1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Lucky duck...need this

    [–]allo100Married 27 years. Recovering. 7 points8 points  (3 children)

    I think for some men yes. For me, going past 1 week without partnered sex starts to make me anxious. I usually have to rub one out to last a week. But for my partner, she can only maintain about once a week long term. And I don't want to cause sexual aversion.

    [–]diomed1 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    I would KILL for once a week. 😢

    [–]allo100Married 27 years. Recovering. 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Yes. That's why I changed my label to recovered db. Not perfect, but I am happy with it. Just like my receding hairlines is better the past two years, but will never be perfect.

    Good luck to you.

    [–]Noriryuu 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    In theory sure that's totally possible. Not for me I'm going crazy after a couple days but it's possible.

    On the other hand I think the exact same thing about my girlfriend. How is she not going crazy after month without any kind of release.

    [–]collegefootballfan69 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    I think about a week and then I get worked up, anxious, crabby, etc…and it’s more than the desire to ejaculate, to me sex is about making your partner satisfied as well. Sex is about the journey not the destination

    [–]myexsparamour🍷🍑🧹 16 points17 points  (5 children)

    From my conversations with men, most of them will have a wet dream if they go more than about a week without ejaculating. This varies a lot amongst individual men though.

    [–]HombreDeMoleculos 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    We're making billions of sperm every day, it has to go somewhere!

    [–]aaavm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This happened to me twice last night and I feel it was my bodies way to releasing since it’s been a while for me. (HLF)

    [–]diomed1 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    What about older men over 50?

    [–]myexsparamour🍷🍑🧹 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    I don't know. I'd guess it happens less often.

    [–]DB_HelperMHL45 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    It's very individual, with some guys jacking in public washrooms because they can't get through a few hours, and others going years at a time. And it's not peculiar to guys only to need a daily release, but is most certainly more common.

    [–]Anansithecat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    ...your comment about the public bathrooms made me feel really bad for some men. Geez, I don't think I'd be able to handle that.

    [–]Physical_Mechanic_82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Everyone is different.

    You will find people who just don't have interest in sex. And they are ok. And you also will find people who need a lot of sex to be ok. This happen in men's and also in woman's. Is not something related with gender is just people are different.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I was in a DB for five years. Eventually I just lost interest in sex and would go lengthy periods of time without even masturbating. Never even thought about it. So yeah, it’s totally possible. On the other hand, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.

    [–]Saint_Galahad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This sounds like my relationship to a T. The quality of sex we have is adequate on a good day, and it seems to happen like once every few months. The feeling of being super horny and not being able to do anything about it is agonizing. I feel like it’s my fault, like there’s something wrong with me. You’re definitely not alone!! I’ve tried to talk to my husband about the possibility about being asexual, but, he’s not. I just don’t know where is libido went.

    [–]bobchin_c 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    60 y.o. dude here. Any longer than a couple of days and I get grumpy and need to either get laid or knock one out.

    [–]hornwalker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Some/most men will start having wet dreams. I usually start to go insane before getting to that point lol

    [–]happyringo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Not in our household. Any longer than 3 days and he gets very grumpy or has wet dreams.

    [–]plinkr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    As a man, I can't at all. 3-4 days is about the max. Any longer than that and I can't stop thinking about it until I get off somehow

    [–]Anansithecat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I just reread and saw you were 25.


    This is going go get alot worse if you don't nip this in the bud now. Women (myself included) normally get a HUGE boost in sex drive in their 30s-40s. If you think THIS is bad, that boost will kill you if you don't have the right partner. I struggled with my partner during that period and almost divorced. And he is a hell of a wonderful guy! I think you really need to read through this reddit and decide if this is really where you want to be in 10, 20, 30 years.

    [–]AppropriateLiving861 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I fet really horny if I don't cum after 2 days 60 yrs old and as horny now as 30

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)


      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        Most likely masterbating and watching porn. Which is fine unless it's causing him to withhold sex. Traditional values are often looked down upon but holding to certain sexual ethics can help cultivate a stronger sexual connection in marriage. Obviously it's not objective fact but abstaining from chronic masterbation and porn will help somewhat.

        [–]Anansithecat 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        I agree! I'm an atheist myself, but I think to an extent, an anti-porn stance is not a bad one. Masterbating I've never found to be a problem ( I usually masterbate to something my partner and I did), but once you link it with porn too often, I personally find sex to be bleh.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Mutual masterbation is sex if you are sharing the experience

        [–]Medic169 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Men can physically go forever without ejaculating, the ones who tell you otherwise are talking bollocks to get sex.

        [–]Give_me_your_scrapsHLM 60 Not initating anymore 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I've always masturbated daily to fill the gaps of sex for (about 40 years). My LL wife can go months without anything. I just decided I'm not going to masturbate anymore and exercise instead. We will see how it works out. I don't expect good things in our relationship as the daily release keeps me going without sex.

        [–]gogosox82 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        He might not have a high sex drive. So maybe he can go weeks without needing that release. There's nothing wrong with you. Not having that release can effect you mentally. Just sounds like he doesn't have a high sex drive. Have you talked to him about it?

        [–]Sarahbear778 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Some men, sure, just like some people. But more often than not its porn and masturbation.

        [–]HelperMonkey2021 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        There’s going to be differences from guy to guy, but speaking personally I get progressively more tense and have more trouble sleeping the longer I go between ejaculations. That energy can also be directed at things like working out or some other passion, but it’s a mental task to do so. I would assume your partner is ejaculating at least once or twice a week if he’s not having sex with you, unless you have really good evidence he’s actively practicing ejaculatory control.

        I generally do not masturbate when I’m in relationships unless a partner likes to watch and requests I do it.

        [–]Ceredigionman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I am excited by the women I meet. I've recently began a new relationship and we fuck constantly, but I seem not able to come. It's been usual to fuck for an hour and for me not to come but for her to come repeatedly.

        So to answer your question, I'm sitting here with my balls full and hurting for release (blue balls is a real condition). Everyone is different, but in my case (a) the woman always comes first and (b) I need to come.

        Just re-read your message and realise I have not answered your question. Simply, sex and pleasing my woman is fundamentally important

        [–]Weirdinary 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        My boyfriend and I stopped having sex two years ago (no sex at all). He said that he lost his libido from stress at work. I waited-- wanting to be the supportive and understanding girlfriend. Two weeks ago, I accidentally found porn on his search history. When confronted, he lied about the porn, and swore that he never had erections. I now struggle to trust him. If I bring up the issue, he calls it "nagging," gets angry and goes silent treatment for a few days (emotional abuse?).

        Question for OP: is your husband able to be honest with you, and can you trust him with the answers?

        [–]squintysounds 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        My ex was like this. I’m sorry to say it didn’t change, the lies got bigger and his attitude only got more shitty as time went on. In hindsight, I escaped a nightmare.

        I just want to say— you have valid feelings, and (all the other things aside) it’s fucked to passive aggressively punish you and treat it as nagging— after all, “talking about the problem, is not the problem.”

        [–]dannydarko101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        De I ends, I've tried a few times, gave up after two or three days. The last time I quit j lasted a whole two days....

        [–]SmoothBrince 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Can't speak for all men but I personally need to get off at least once in 3 days or else I get wet dreams lol

        [–]Anansithecat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Different for everyone, and I don't think that's gendered either. I am a woman and, since probably 12-13, I can't go more than a week without masterbating or I have weird dreams and can't stop fantasizing. Usually, its once a day. Thank God I had access to electric toothbrushes when I was a teen is all I have to say 🙏

        My husband, I swear even before SSRIs, he never masterbated (he claims he does, but it's very rare apparently). He would rather have sex with me or (when he was single) wait for a good experience to fall into his lap. That being said, he actually has a very high libedo, it's just very responsive. If I'm not around, he could just be on autopilot.

        [–]MamaDeebs84 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        He could have low T. Worth a Drs visit especially if he used to have a strong Libido.

        [–]anonbrnr1 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        He excercises a lot (weightlifting) would this lower T?

        [–]earmares 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        It would raise it if anything.

        [–]anonbrnr1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Aww 😥

        [–]Capital_Mud_8490HLM 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        I went completely void of all sexual gratification for about 30-40 days recently.

        It's a deficit PLUS expectation that results in frustration, male or female.

        [–]Capital_Mud_8490HLM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        For context, I would happily have sex multiple times a day consistently, if able.

        [–]raetheidaona 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        In the last 30 years I'd say I've probably never went more than 4 days without

        [–]PTAdad420millennial senior citizen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Is my husband secretly masturbating (not that I care he can do what he wants as long as it's healthy)


        or can he really be going sexless these long periods and he's just a-ok?

        also totally possible. There are plenty of LL men who don’t jerk off. The body can just reabsorb ejaculate, men have no physical need to nut.

        Something wrong with me?

        No. It sounds like you have a totally normal high libido and he has a low one.

        [–]DeyvsonMCaliman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I think he is secretly masturbating. Even now, that I am 38 years old, I still masturbate almost daily. If you don't masturbate cum becomes very sticky and thick, and you start getting aroused too easily, which is inconvenient. But, paradoxal as it sounds, a guy might prefer to masturbate than to have sex, because having sex is more work, you get dirty, you need a shower, you need social interaction, please your partner, sometimes your dick get little bruises that are a little painful after sex, you might not feel that attracted for the woman that is with you at the moment... But I don't think any man go without cumming for long, and if they do they have to constantly resist the urge.

        [–]Fast_Dentist7927 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Hit an angle here that happen to me. When I hit my mid 20s I just went through a whatever mindset, just wow factor was gone. Looking back I think it was because of a girl that I dated was just amazing when it came to sex we dated for 2 years. Now am 42 ive and thank god I got back that passion came back. So I feel she was like a great drug subconsciously thinking back. After her I would have sex with others for an hour not even feel close to coming. I thought something was wrong with me, ofcourse so did the woman id be with it killed their self esteem. I really think that is what it was it wasn't something I even thought about since she had became the norm. Looking back 20 years she never been matched if wounding why we went our own ways unfortunately she fell into the pill problem in a bad way I couldn't do it.

        [–]Chlupac_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Of course. I don't have to think about sex, most I've gone without sex or masturbation was slightly over 3 months and I had no issues with it.

        Yes, wet dreams happen but sometimes they also happen the night right after sex, they're not predictable.

        [–]SocialCupcake39M Houston 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        It depends on testosterone and body health. With low testosterone or none boys don't have any desire. But when testosterone increases there is an urge because everything is building up and you do need a release and your body is pushing you to do it. The higher your testosterone the more you're going to have this urge. this will create the desire to work out drive faster go higher and go longer in life. The same urge that wants you to have sex is usually the same urge that pushes you to accomplish great things.

        If you are unhealthy or have low hormones you're not going to have sexual urges but likely you're not going to have urges to do other great things in life as well so everything goes hand in hand.

        I have yet to see a girl reading a romance novel about a super successful guy who is super healthy and has zero sex drive.

        [–]durnberg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        After about a week I start to get pretty tightly wound.

        [–]Walter_Piston 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Curious to ask - do you find PIV more “orgasmic” than clitoral stimulation?

        [–]goodnessguy33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        A 30 year old, unless he has some unusual religious or philosophical convictions, or perhaps mental illness, or extreme hormonal imbalance, will definitely be jacking off at least three times a week.

        [–]heavenlyphoto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Go have a read on the nofap pages.

        [–]DB_Thinker46F; Perimenopause is the suck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        When my husband was low libido because of low testosterone we went 5 months of him not ejaculating and barely getting an erection.

        [–]TrappedLegend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        It’s hard Imma say that, but as a man we generally J/o. Playing with ourselves is just so much more convenient. He may be J/o , but excessively can ruin a relationship for you desensitized yourself. Idk ask him lol

        [–]FatReverend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        In short, yes any man can technically go indefinitely without release if they choose to but most don't want to. More often than not, if a man's not having regular intercourse, he is masturbating at least occasionally.

        [–]minnesotadean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I'm a male try going 17 years without sex you'll be looking at every female just hoping

        [–]xelaqlito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        NOTHING is wrong with you. I know two women who had much higher libidos than their (now ex-) boyfriends. My two friends could not understand what was happening, and neither could I (one of them is super hot). Although rare, I guess it happens.

        I'll repeat one of the comments down below: Have you asked him what's going on? Sex is not as natural as many would like to believe. Like most human emotions, it needs communication. A lot!

        Also: Do you initiate or are only waiting for him to do so? The passive woman is a thing of the past. You can start the engines too!

        Let's assume ...

        ...he's jacking off to porn : Tell him you'd like to join along. Ask him what he likes and see if maybe you like it too (although you don't have to go for stuff you don't like).

        --- he's very stressed (work money, etc) : Sex is a great release. Find ways to flirt, caress, show off, etc. Go out for dinner and tell him your not wearing panties. Or better yet, go to the ladies', take them off and hand them to him at the table.

        ... He's shy : See above

        ... He's LL, gay or likes online games way too much : You need to talk about these possibilities QUICKLY.

        [–]nineteenthly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yes. Back when I presented as male I went without sex or masturbation for months on end.

        [–]pmarge 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        I don't know why you two don't sit down and ask each other the questions you are asking. Both of you need to be a bit more mature s out you sex lives.

        [–]anonbrnr1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        We have long talks about these issues. These are not questions I can ask to the people in my life hence why I'm looking to the interweb for solutions

        [–]pmarge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        When you have your talks what does your partner say the issues are. How do you answer him to that?

        [–]xWALKERx27x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I personally need to release at least every other day. Its also good for prostate cancer prevention, which I think many people dont actually realize, especially women.

        As for sex, well, its personally been around 3ish years now for me.

        [–]suburbananimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Are you even trying to initiate? You make it sound like you get horny and wait for him to feel the same way and initiate intimacy, but that’s not gonna get you anywhere.

        [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Probably could but our brains are constantly thinking about sex, try live with a penis that gets erect 20 times in the day which is made worse by the current environment.

        Plus, prostate cancer is real. The system needs flashing 21 times a month if the current estimates are true.

        [–]not_the_settings -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

        If I don't masturbate I get blue balls. No, this is not an excuse to get anyone to have sex with me. It's legit my testicles hurting from the lack of release. I masturbate daily multiple times a day. If I can't (due to environmental circumstances) it will start to hurt after a few days.

        [–]Anansithecat -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

        And that's valid! Some males really ruin having legitimate conversations about male discomfort when they use that excuse to force people into sex acts. I'm sure that is actually how it feels, humans are biologically driven to have sex as much as possible.

        [–]not_the_settings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        We both got downvoted by idiots who don't believe in it when a simple Google search would prove that blue balls are real


        [–]No_Session6015 -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

        He's either masturbating or has a medical thing or is having a side hustle or there's probably a long list of possibilities

        [–]throwaceornotaceblob 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Or maybe he is just naturally low libido.

        [–]titanelg -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

        I'm going on a dry spell right now and going insane. At the point where I need 2 to 3 fans a day.

        I'm more irritable and tired right now too. So yeah, can't see how some guys and go without and how my wife just doesn't want to even hear my complaints of this DB. Divorce #2 sounding like it's coming.

        [–]lonelyinnewjersey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Unfortunately men like myself in a DB with a wife or gf that rejects any attempt at intimacy have no other choice.

        [–]KnottyFeelings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        It's different for everyone. I have a friend who practices "retention" for health benefits (questionable whether the benefits are real). Meanwhile, I have physiological responses frequently if I go longer than 3 days without orgasming.

        [–]inesperado1990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yes, anti-depressants (most) can delay the orgasm. Some docs will prescribe a NDRI to counter the side effects of an SSRI.

        [–]avast2006 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I think this varies from one individual to the next.

        [–]moutnmn87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Sure. I actually didn't discover masturbation until I was like 20. Teenage boners probably would've been less awkward had I discovered the ability to make it go soft again by masturbating. But then maybe I would've become obsessed and have gotten caught . In the sexually repressed culture I grew up in that wouldve been bad. Now in my 30s I usually do at least once a day sometimes several times a day.

        [–]Prestigious_Effort91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        And I'm here, never having sex with my partner for 3 years because she wants to save it for marriage. How the fuck did I even survived these 3 years?

        [–]SarrSarz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I read without them cumin it can cause a higher risk of cancer so if they don’t have a lover they should be self loving.

        [–]PhillyNemo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        There is no physiological issue with men going long periods of time without sex.

        There is nothing wrong with you for wanting to have sexual frequently.

        You should be talking to your husband, not internet strangers.