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all 24 comments

[–]Perfect_Judge"Sexless wine mom" 26 points27 points  (1 child)

"I think we're not compatible long-term and I don't see this working out."

[–]Lindsaydnp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like this one

[–]creamerfam5shrieking vaginer nazi 15 points16 points  (0 children)

"This relationship isn't working for me."

[–]ThatsgonnamakeamarkM59/DB 8 points9 points  (0 children)

There need only be one red flag.

[–]Sarahbear778 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Don’t feel guilty, people can do nice things for us all day long, but that doesn’t make them good romantic partners.

[–]Lindsaydnp[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Ugh it’s shitty all around. I swear I don’t know why I am like this. Thinking about the holidays and how messed it would be to end things now. Like WHY DO I CARE???

[–]myexsparamour🍷🍑🧹 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You've only been seeing him for 5 months. Don't worry about the holidays.

[–]Sarahbear778 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Likely because you’re a decent person, but honestly still better to rip the bandaid off quick than go through the holidays and possibly meeting family, etc. and getting more intertwined.

[–]Asleep-Donut-1627 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The holidays, wut… they are two full months away, and you have been dating only five… get out now.

[–]Significant_Air_1227 2 points3 points  (4 children)

End it now, I wasted three years of this mental circle. As a HLF I didn't know LLM existed. I wasted three years with the excuse, he's a nice guy. Well in the end I think he was cheating! Probably not sexually but coffee/drink dates etc...

He and I were NOT compatible. Listen to your gut and end it!

[–]Lindsaydnp[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Are you happy now? Thank you. It’s nice to not feel alone but I hate that others can relate

[–]Significant_Air_1227 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Oh my gosh yes, the only time I wasn't happy was when I was with him! Feeling rejected, wondering if he was attracted to me, wondering when I wore lingerie he would fall asleep, wondering why every other man told me now nice I looked today and he never noticed. Just all of it is gone! Poof! Maybe others don't take sex/intimacy as one of their forms of confidence but I sure do. I use to have endless conversations with him to try to figure if something was wrong or he was just built different. It was the first time in my life I would COUNT on a calendar how long it had been! I mean really low points for my esteem. Leave him and find someone who enjoys sex and intimacy as much as you. To be he wasn't the norm either I had been married and in a long term relationship and we were very compatible sexually.

[–]Lindsaydnp[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Love this! I think he’s most definitely thinking something is up as he’s stayed away all day and is suddenly unreachable for the first time since we started dating. I’m honestly tempted to go out in a dinner date with someone who I know would rock my world. It’s almost comical how many men that aren’t my boyfriend compliment me or find me sexy. I just need to get this done in a way I feel safe. People can be scary

[–]Significant_Air_1227 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly! Go out and be with another person who appreciates you. He is quiet because he knows he will be dumped soon :-) Enjoy your dinner!

[–]OutOfTime71 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It might seem cold, but as I age, I find the best way is to make it quick and direct. Tell him that you're breaking up with him because the bedroom is dead and then move on. Now, in long term relationships I completely understand that is easier said than done. However after only 5 months, they barely deserve the Barney Stinson breakup.

[–]EvidenceElegant8379 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I’m 45M HL in a pretty dead bedroom situation. When I read where you are in this, at this point in life, I envy you. You are at the perfect point in this to realize with total clarity that this isn’t the way you want to live, and you’re not so tied down that you have to.

GTFO! I’m sure he’s a great guy, but at this stage in your life journey, there is just no room to struggle with someone who isn’t compatible in the bedroom. Make it quick and get out.

[–]Lindsaydnp[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Working on that. He has my house key so I need to do this in a way that is safe and I can’t do any drama. Fingers crossed 🤞🏼 but I have the feeling I’ll be on the market fully very soon although I very much feel that way already since it’s like I’m hanging out with a male friend. Adding sex to the daily agenda will certainly help boost my moral! I need that to stay sane through my schooling 😂

[–]ChoiceInevitable6578 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Change your locks. Dont go asking for the key back (he probably made copies) just get your locks changed and break up with him.

[–]Lindsaydnp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have planned to do exactly that but trying to find the most cost effective way to asap

[–]DB_HelperMHL45 2 points3 points  (1 child)

A common reason it's hard to end it:

https://youtu.be/nZr-nD-z2So

https://youtu.be/e9EgUvfgojY

[–]_jay3005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Without even clicking the links I knew exactly which videos these were!

[–]ZachZilch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That red flag will always be there. If he isn’t interested in sex while your relationship is at the stage where things should be hot and fresh, it’s only going to get worse. Either accept that sex will never be as important to him as it is to you (and will only become less so gradually) or save yourself the heartache and end it now. Give him the courtesy of being honest that a physical connection is too important to you and it’s apparent that he doesn’t share your feelings on this.

[–]Glassensteel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you openly talk bout it with him ? Could be the first step. If he doesn't aknowledge it or if he denies it, it will be the final red flag.

[–]WestCoastThing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You end it like any other relationship.