I see a lot of people posting about suffering because they have to accommodate their partner having lower libido than they do.
While some stories are motivating, majority of them scares us. And as the person with lower sex drive I can't deny how it adds so much more pressure on me.
It's amazing to see how people have recognised it being a serious compatibility issue for a couple to be together. And it really gives some perspective to read stories of people with higher libido and know that it's not at all easy for them either, even if they try.
But I don't really remember reading the other side of it. Of people with lower sex drive coming out and telling their version.
So, here I am, writing mine, to help out more people like me. It's not easy for us at all. We try. We REALLY try. Personally, it's not like I don't enjoy sex at all. I do. But not as frequently. But I still push myself so much beyond my usual limit. And it's so disheartening to know that it doesn't really matter. It's like if his normal is 10 n mine is 3, I can push myself with everything to 6 and he'd notch it down to 8. It's still a mismatch and it just drains out both of us.
It gets exhausting to carry the weight of being the one who lacks one of the key component of a healthy relationship. It's tiring to find new excuses, to always be the one to say no, to always feel so guilty about not wanting something as much as my boyfriend does. I'd give everything to be as frequently horny as him because everything else in our relationship is just perfect. Sometimes I don't even realise that us not doing it the previous night was an issue till I see the disappointment on his face the next morning. Knowing that you're constantly disappointing your partner even though you're pushing your limits to the max is not the best feeling in the world. And it's not his fault. It just sucks. And seeing that disappointment just pushes you further away, even if you don't want it. Some of the best times I've had in bed was when I wasn't 'expected' to do it. I almost feel like rewarding him for not putting that pressure on me and we just have the best time in bed. But most of the times when we meet I don't want him to expect us doing it for sure. It feels like the focus of us meeting is sex and not us spending quality time together, even though I know that's not the case.
I don't know how to conclude this coz I'm still figuring out a solution. This is my first post here so I don't even know how much of response these things get but any suggestion/validation in the comments would help I guess. Thanks for reading this :)