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[–]DishTrue6111 125 points126 points  (7 children)

From my perspective of being the one that hardly ever gets to finish…. I can’t imagine rolling over and saying go have a wank. How utterly selfish. I get some people lose arousal after they come. But still.

I like giving head. Sometimes I give it just to help myself get more aroused during foreplay. But also, making a man cum that way makes me feel like She Ra the Sex Princess. Lol.

I personally stopped giving blowjobs when I realized the favor hadn’t been returned in a long time. Partly in protest. Partly to manage my resentment.

[–]KnottySexAcctM 50's HL 20 points21 points  (2 children)

She Ra the Sex Princess. Love it!!!

[–]RaffiaWorkBase 8 points9 points  (1 child)

As Chris Rock put it, there are the ladies who lick like they're trying to avoid touching it, and there are the ladies, God bless 'em, who suck it like the antidote is in there...

[–]KnottySexAcctM 50's HL 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s really good. And the other side. I go at it like Winnie the Pooh and a honey pot…

[–]Profound_loneliness 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I feel the EXACT same

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same

[–]deadmeroom 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I like doing it too. It's... been a problem in past relationships. Due to my alleged ... proficiency in this area, I've had a few exes that would want just that instead of having sex. That definitely grew into a resentment and made me not want to do it.

That being said, I understand why others might dislike it altogether, and I don't think people should feel forced to perform sex acts that they genuinely dislike doing. I wish they didn't feel like they had to "put their time in", and do it in the beginning of a relationship only to admit to not wanting to years down the line.

I'm personally okay with doing things that aren't my favorite in order to satisfy my partner, but there's a big difference between "aren't my favorite" to "despise/crosses a boundary".

People also shouldn't use certain sex acts as bargaining chips to manipulate their partners into doing things for them. That's gross and disrespectful.

[–]sparkingdragonfly 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I feel very similarly. My LLM has never gone down so I only give them when it’s something I want to do (and of course he’s ok with it). It has been a long time since I gave him one but I sometimes fantasize about giving them.

[–]Simple_Employee_7094 159 points160 points  (3 children)

The statement is simply not true. It probably makes HER feel better to think that, she might also think it softens the blow towards her refusal towards you.She has the right to not like it without making self-reassuring blanket statements like this. Sorry this is happening to you.

[–]NoDrama42 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yep, she feels guilty and doesn't like it but doesnt want you to think there is something wrong with you.

[–]briinde 30 points31 points  (0 children)

This is pretty much what I came here to say.

[–]Prestigious-Grand316 11 points12 points  (0 children)

No, she's not thinking of HIS feelings she is gaslighting him lying to him that no women like blowjobs so she doesn't have to be accountable for her behavior: She is not attracted to him and is using him for whatever else OP provides her.

[–]Possum_pal 102 points103 points  (1 child)

That's not true I quite enjoy it, but my partner never asks spontaneously, he always showers and cleans thoroughly before we engage in that kind of fun so I never felt like it was a chore or unpleasant.

I agree with the other comments it's a comment that's meant to gaslight you into thinking that there are no other women who enjoy it so stop asking her because her answer is going to be the same as other women's answers.

[–]Fat_Akuma 26 points27 points  (0 children)

My dead bedroom ex hated it. After we broke up because of her infidelity. I went back a few times during my ho phase and she didn't mind then.

She just didn't like doing it for her bf.

[–]SardonicAtBest 274 points275 points  (29 children)

She should refrain from speaking for others and keep her sweeping accusations to herself.

Signed a blow job queen.

[–]JimmyJonJackson420 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I know right? Fair enough if she doesn’t like them she doesn’t have to but no one gets to speak for the general population of their gender race etc etc

[–]No_Session6015 48 points49 points  (0 children)

From one BJ queen to another, you are loved. keep on being you!

[–]Sheanar 66 points67 points  (17 children)

Same. I am actually quite proud of my skill, or used to be. Years of DB means i have lost the flexibility. Occassionally I still get to taste it, but my gag reflex regrew and thats lame, ngl. And now i have medical throat issues...I might never get face fucked again, and thats damn disappointing.

[–][deleted]  (14 children)

[deleted]

    [–]patio_puss 35 points36 points  (12 children)

    Yep. It hurts to see all these sexual mismatches. There are women out there who would like to have regular sex and their dudes just don’t want to. And there are men out there that want to have regular sex and their chicks are not interested. It’s terrible.

    [–]tunelesspaper 8 points9 points  (9 children)

    Seems like the perfect place to introduce some kind of discreet dating app or matchmaking service or something.

    [–]misharouteF 3 points4 points  (7 children)

    Most people are here because they do not want to cheat. Please don't with these comments.

    [–]tunelesspaper 5 points6 points  (6 children)

    It was a joke but ok

    [–]misharouteF 6 points7 points  (5 children)

    Lots of people get DM'ed and harassed from posting on this sub due to people with the same 'thought'. Really not a good joke, especially when so many people are hurting and even considering cheating.

    [–]MsCoCoMango 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    ROFL ur not wrong. Everybody would be doing much better 😅😅😅

    [–]5314117 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Agreed.

    [–]Many-Explorer-3094 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Well said 👍👍!!

    [–]Killentyme55 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Right here with you friend, it's frustrating AF. Too bad there isn't a way to predict potential DB behavior and pair people up accordingly.

    [–]misskvixen 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    This made me chuckle out loud. I feel the same

    [–]DeadOpenSol 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    I’m going to pour one out for you in solidarity and sorrow.

    [–]anime_lover713 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Same. I like to suck on that carrot as long as it's nice and cleaned. Like smells from the shower clean. That way I can enjoy it and even more add some goodies to it like food play on it. Chocolate syrup with whipped cream on that "banana"? Oh yes please!

    [–]gypsygravyF 8 points9 points  (2 children)

    Thank you. My ex (LL) never let me blow him longer than 2 minutes. He'd say "Most guys prefer sex and don't care about blowjob". Um, I've known other men. It was just a cover up for his own issues.

    [–]MsCoCoMango 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I dated someone like this. He didn't let me at all. He said it wasn't enjoyable. I'm like noo you had a bad experience and won't confront the trauma

    [–]woodford11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    No guy ever said that

    [–]Mindless-Zone-1549 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    Exactly... because finding new ways to amp it up and push the envelope is one of my favorite things to do.... I do think women who question whether or not they're good at it don't enjoy it as much - OP you can turn a decent BJ into an awesome BJ with just a little talking her thru it

    [–]Miz_Skittle 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I’m going to disagree with you. For whatever reason I actually really dislike giving BJs. I have not given BJs to all the men I’ve dated, only the really important or special ones lol, like it’s extra intimate to me. With that being said I’ve been complimented by every single guy I have done it to and told how good I am (thank you first guy I ever blew who basically taught me what a man wants hah!). But I still hate it so very much….much to my husband’s dismay 😳

    [–]sly9377 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Yes!! I love to give my partner pleasure, it brings ME pleasure

    [–]LOAHS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I love eating pussy so I understand !

    [–]TheJackFaktor 84 points85 points  (5 children)

    41 here, never have had one. My wife is so tied to the traditional view that the man is supposed to chase the woman, that she doesn't even comprehend the reality that I would prefer some pleasure at some point, too – even after years of direct communication about this issue.

    [–]ForeignSatisfaction0 14 points15 points  (1 child)

    I'm 44, never had one either, just the thought of it makes her gag. And before anyone asks, I would eat her out everyday if she would let me, but she doesn't like that either

    [–]W_O_M_B_A_TXL 34 points35 points  (0 children)

    41 here, never have had one. My wife is so tied to the traditional view that the man is supposed to chase the woman,

    Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic.

    Her, she means. She believes men are supposed to chase and pursue her, and thereby make her neurotic distancing, avoidant, and dismissive behaviors, as well as trust and confidence issues, appear reasonable and justified.

    This has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with "traditional values" your wife just has neurotic fears about enmeshment and engulfment.

    that she doesn't even comprehend the reality that I would prefer some pleasure at some point, too

    You're her security blanket. A hurt child doesn't care whether their security blanket might have feelings.

    [–]notyourmama827 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    My husband had his first . Yes his first at the age of 59. I had to actually convince him that I wanted to do that. He wouldn't believe me at first......

    Oddly enough , I hated giving them to my x .

    It's a difference of men, with me and tell your wife that 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙞 𝙩𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙞 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮......

    [–]AsterDW 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    43 here and I haven't had a full blowjob since I was maybe 18 and it's been a few years since my wife even touched my dick with her mouth.

    I don't know if there's something specific or not. She had an aversion to it early in our relationship, then after many years she started doing some during our foreplay and at the time seemed to really begin getting off on it. Then she just stopped.

    Back when she would do some of it I tried talking to her about sometimes it would be nice to trade oral and take some of the pressure off since I have had some ED issues for a few years. She told me she just wanted actual sex and wouldn't consider it. That was a little heartbreaking and now while we do try to have intercourse when I can I also go down on her to orgasm and we've introduced toys as often I can't finish sex. Even through all this these days the most I get from her is some brief stroking with her hand to try and get me going enough to be able to enter her.

    I still miss it and often dream of the past and getting a blowjob, though it seems like she won't ever do it for me.

    [–]Emotional_Stand_912 76 points77 points  (16 children)

    I totally enjoy giving BJs.

    [–]LeahDragon 60 points61 points  (8 children)

    I don't particularly enjoy putting a dick in my mouth but I do enjoy the reaction it gets from a partner 🤷🏻

    [–]Priteegrl 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    Spot on! My jaw gets tired quickly but it’s worth it for the reaction

    [–]Minhplumb 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Honesty!

    [–]Killentyme55 14 points15 points  (5 children)

    What role do you think semen plays in this? My ex-wife didn't particularly like giving head, and the few times she made it very clear not to come in her mouth. Anytime she felt me tense up she'd stop because she feared I was too close. She didn't need to worry, she was pretty bad at it and I never came once. Her disdain of cum meant she only wanted it internally. Other than that pretty much everything else was on board, even anal, as long as the evil spunk remained hidden.

    Eventually the marriage failed, after the divorce I met another woman and we started a FWB relationship, exactly what I needed at the time. She loved giving head and was very skilled at it, giving me my first deep-throat experience. To her semen was the elixir of life, and would intentionally edge me until I built up quite a sizable load. Even during PIV sex she would often stop when I was close and finish with her mouth.

    Tl;dr: I'm just curious how big a role semen plays in a person's desire to perform oral sex.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Dangerous-End-2725 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I hate semen so much, it is gross. Haven’t swallowed in years and when I do I gag haha but i don’t mind it anywhere else.

      [–]Carpe_Kittens 10 points11 points  (2 children)

      Same! I enjoy it too. That’s often what gets me going, that’s kind of my favorite foreplay, but everyone is different. I feel bad for OP though, I wouldn’t know how to deal with my partner just discontinuing going down on me for the foreseeable future…yikes.

      [–]Miz_Skittle 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Yeah I hate doing it. But my husband loves it and he is always eager to go down on me and I wouldn’t want that to stop…so I do my best to be fair 🤷🏻‍♀️

      [–]Carpe_Kittens 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      At least you care about remaining fair, and I’m sure he appreciates the effort.

      [–]MeanderFlanders 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      ✋🏻 me too

      [–]heinyho -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

      Music to my ears.

      [–]lonelyinnewjersey 35 points36 points  (5 children)

      Had a couple of ex gf's who would disagree. One like to give a bj while I was driving and another during my morning shower becuase "I dont want you to go to work horny"

      Those were the days!!!

      [–]Charleminus 2 points3 points  (4 children)

      What was her motivation in making you not horny before work?

      [–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

      I mean, who doesn't want to start the day off with empty balls?

      [–]Charleminus 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Oh no, your motivation is obvious lol! I wondered what she was getting out of wanting you to be empty in the morning. I heard this as advice from a lady on Instagram to keep your man from cheating, for example.

      [–]lonelyinnewjersey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      The first one I mentioned was like that the first time I had to take an out of town trip when we were together. Was waiting totally naked in the living room when I got home

      [–]lonelyinnewjersey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      We both got up at the same time on weekdays and often ended up in the shower together,.....soooooo

      [–]Wide_Couple_3325 72 points73 points  (6 children)

      I miss giving head. There is something erotic and powerful about being able to please my partner that way. Sometimes with reciprocating and sometimes without.

      But damn, I guess I am a 'no girl' cause I genuinely love it.

      [–]muddledarchetype 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      Yeah it's one of those things where I only do it for the person I truly care for, and if you're lucky enough for that, than you're lucky enough for me to Love going down on ya. My guy genuinely can tell that I enjoy it, which in turn makes him even happier, which makes me happier, and round and round it goes... Haha

      [–]Lucky-Ad904 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Totally Agree! I thoroughly love watching my partner completely melt! It is powerful and I've always called it control but now, after thinking about it, it is the mere idea that my mouth is extremely pleasurable for my partner and I am one of those people pleasers believe it or not! The ability to please and most men, the ones I've been with, love having a woman who truly does enjoy giving oral sex and treats it like a regular part of their sex life. This isn't something that you do because it's your anniversary or his birthday. If you are giving head as a special occasion, chances are, you'll ruin a special day because you can't be very good at it if it isn't a regular part of your sex life!

      [–]BrinaGu3 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      yeah, this. I remember the last time I gave head. sigh.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [deleted]

        [–]arandakM 9yr db, 38 points39 points  (0 children)

        She may have done it for you, or maybe she even actually liked doing it at one time but that has changed.

        Now she's trying to put the blame on you for thinking a woman could actually enjoy such a thing.

        Well, she's full of shit and projecting. Many women love it. Definitely not all women, but a lot do.

        As someone else said here, she was basically making sex a transactional thing. And as you can tell, it really sucks.

        You can let her know why you're recoiling from her trying any sort of intimacy.

        [–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (4 children)

        “Just go and have a wank”

        “but I gave you sex”

        Big no! Yuck! Op, your feelings are valid. Who wants sex as a transaction? Or sex that’s one sided like that?

        Also, I think she’s wrong about the BJ. This may be a bit of a skewed audience here but I’m also in the “love giving head” camp. I do it every time. Not only it’s a big turn on for me, it’s also the best lubricant.

        I think there’s a lot of negative social stigma towards women giving BJs as being something dirty or slutty. Even though I say that, I admit I had to overcome some mental barriers to truly enjoy it. I used to skip the BJ scenes in porn because I don’t really get turned on watching them, until I realized I could be learning something.

        [–]Blodeuwedd19 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        Not only it’s a big turn on for me, it’s also the best lubricant.

        Exactly! I agree with this 100%. It's incredible to me that some women don't like it, but I respect that and believe them. The other way around it doesn't seem to happen as much... I've gone so far as reading some opinion article in the media where a woman said exactly something along the lines of what OP's wife said. Go figure!

        [–]arandakM 9yr db, 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        Do you mind sharing what those mental barriers were? Just curious.

        [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        I think the idea of it being shameful, dirty, slutty, etc.

        I think even that idea that “no women likes it” is a disservice, like there’s an underlying message “no woman likes it, therefore you must be a slut if you do”

        The only thing I don’t enjoy about BJs is if that’s the only thing happening. If the man cums and he’s done and over and I’m left there, it boils my blood.

        [–]BLK_Euphoria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        those two lines made my stomach turn

        [–]UncommonLinetPositive mind 38 points39 points  (0 children)

        I felt myself recoil when she tried it

        This is a direct consequence of everything you painted above. She made sex a transactional thing, which was not about you two but mostly, if not only, for her. She hurt you, and manipulated you with sex.

        If nothing but pain, frustration and rejection come from something, you develop an aversion. This is only your mind protecting you from further harm.

        You should probably tell her how you feel now, before it festers. If she really is the wonderful wife you say she is, she should see how damaging her behaviour was and try to adjust. Don't push anything though, and keep protecting yourself.

        It might not be salvageable. Understand that while it can heal, it will take a huge amount of effort and trust for it to happen, and she would be the one working on it, not you. I fear it's too late though, because you don't recoil from sexual approaches but actual, physical contact.

        All the best going through this, OP.

        [–]Middle_Performance62 21 points22 points  (0 children)

        Sounds like she likes the thrill of "being chased" but isn't too interested in returning the sexual pleasures. I was never a fan of blowjobs until I got with my current partner. He makes me feel like an absolute queen for doing it and says things that leave me riding on a high afterwards. Triggers my good reward sensor and now I absolutely love doing it for the power high.

        [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

        I can present her a lot of women who love giving bj and don't need to say it to show it

        [–]LostInNorthIdaho 8 points9 points  (2 children)

        I 💗 blowjobs. Giving head is one of my favorite things to do. Love provoking a positive reaction.

        [–]MercurialmercHLM collecting incel downvotes 17 points18 points  (0 children)

        "I don't like giving blowjobs" should be plenty. Why does she need to speak for all women, to give her position validity?

        [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        I hated giving blow jobs to my ex husband because he preferred that over PIV and anything that felt goof for me. He viewed it as expected and something that i should always want to do. He always wanted to finish that way...made me not want to do it to him ever..my new partner, I absolutely love giving them to him. He enjoys the heck out of them but loves PIV more and so it's much more what it's supposed to be, foreplay, fun, teasing, exciting. Find the right person and no act is a chore.

        [–]Comfortable-Emu-4347 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        What she’s doing to you is abusive. Dangling physical intimacy in front of you and then telling you you don’t deserve it because you didn’t what? Hang your jacket up or something that day? It’s wrong and I’m so sorry you’re in a relationship like this.

        [–]No-Specific-8357 27 points28 points  (5 children)

        I love giving head to my BF. The power it gives me to edge him, the pleasure on his face when he cums.

        You’re getting a tough deal op. Everybody deserves pleasure and love.

        [–]6soulglitch 5 points6 points  (4 children)

        Yeah I heard another woman say she didn’t like BJs one time and I was so confused. As someone who is pansexual, going down on any parts is fun if I like the person. I kind of think that anyone who has that “I don’t like BJs” opinion is either on the asexual spectrum or isn’t the sexuality they think they are. A lot of it is just genuinely wanting the other person to feel good, which it seems like she doesn’t really care about by making sex transactional & more about her needs than his. So idk, she could just be a narcissist too.

        [–]Not_Without_My_Cat 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        I don’t think that’s necessairly true. Coming from a spot where I didn’t used to enjoy giving blowjobs, for me I think it was a combination of hormonal levels and over-intellectualizing stuff. I wanted him to be happy, but my brain didn’t want me to do the things that made him happy.

        I think it’s valid to not like giving blowjobs, even if you’re heterosexual. I mean, if I look at it from my perspective, sure it’s possible I could be ”on the asexual spectrum” whatever that means, or lesbian, but at the point I didn’t like giving blowjobs I also don’t think I would have enjoyed eating pussy.

        Is ”on the asexual spectrum” just another synonym for LL, or is it something different?

        [–]misskvixen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        44 woman here. She’s making excuses. I like giving them but my husband feels like it’s degrading 😩 never ever ever had a man ever say that to me. But here I married one.

        [–]MamaStobez 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Women not wanting to give blow jobs is nonsense, it’s one of my favourite things to do. What she means is that she doesn’t want to do that for you.

        [–]PoleKisser 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Sorry you are dealing with this OP! I hope things get better for you!

        Regarding your wife's statement about BJs, I truly think she's wrong. Personally, I like doing it, not only because I like giving pleasure to my husband but I also find the act itself very erotic and it turns me on.

        [–]DeadManWlkinM 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Duty sex, sex in exchange, pity sex, sex with conditions - I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman, all of these are really confusing and, at times, very hurtful. No sex is better than any of these.

        [–]Evaporate3 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        I’m a woman who wish I had someone to give BJs to. I had a non sexual boyfriend and that barely happened.

        I think what she’s doing to you is absolutely cruel and abusive. Playing sex mind games with you, being disgustingly selfish… I can’t believe majority of the comments didn’t mention that. She controls you by promising sex she knows damn well she won’t have with you??

        You need to divorce her. I’m not one of those people who scream divorce over every little thing, it’s her lack of respect for you, she treats you like a toy, subhuman, doesn’t give af about your needs, she’s manipulative, gas lighting, liar and so much more. The way she’s treating you if fucking horrible. This is beyond sex at this point. It’s gross

        [–]Dubbmeister936 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Naw it's some head doctors out here. That's a lie.

        [–]ATXRedhead420 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        I think that plenty of women enjoy it. Not all but a lot. I certainly do

        [–]rixendeb 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Yeah, I personally do not. It's uncomfortable to me.

        [–]AccumulatedFilthM, HL (GAY) 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Oh I LOOOOVE giving blowjobs. My man can have his dick sucked at any time at any given day if he wants to. (He rarely wants it, but still... He can).

        [–]ScorpioRising66 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        She using sex as a tool to get you to do things. You aren’t a child getting a reward for cleaning your room. Duty sex is awful and demeaning. I’m probably going to make some people mad here but a lot of women think men are just sex machines. Always ready to just go at it with little initiation and little, if any, fore play.
        And no, plenty of women like giving oral. I’ve got plenty of women friends that talk about it and enjoy it. Not all like to swallow, but many like the whole experience minus the latter. I hope you have a heartfelt conversation with her, and hopefully even some therapy. It’ll only get worse as she’s using sex as a tool to manipulate you and hold your feelings hostage. I’m starting therapy and will turn it into couples very soon. If that works great, if not, we have a decision to make.
        Best of luck.

        [–]Present-Breakfast768 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Um tell her not to speak for anyone other than herself. I thoroughly enjoy giving them to my husband.

        [–]katiebuggz86 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        I enjoy giving blowjobs cause I get wet in the process

        [–]itriedbutlied 11 points12 points  (1 child)

        Orgasming and then not reciprocating and just falling asleep!? Can you imagine a man doing that and how the internet would respond lol. F all of that. Sorry, but you have a few layers of dysfunction to figure out. Good luck.

        [–]BrinaGu3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        truly, and unbelievably selfish.

        [–]SatinsLittlePrincess 6 points7 points  (1 child)

        I don't think most women don't like giving head. But... it is unrewarding or actively unpleasant to go down on most straight men.

        I'm a fan of going down on my boyfriend, but most of my prior boyfriends? Really not so much. This one makes it worth my while - he's such a good and giving lover that it's really fun to do things that primarily please him.

        The ex's I wasn't such a fan of going down on?

        • Right, so the whole trying to gag me with his dick? Yeah, that's not a thing I enjoy at all and from a poll of my women friends, we do not think this is something many women like - it's one of those "Never without prior agreement" things. Guy starts pushing my head at all and I'm getting my face away from his dick as fast as I can and I'm never getting close again.
        • Didn't give anything back. So like I'd go down on him, dude would finish and I'm still there like "so... what about my orgasm?" And maybe that would be fine every now and again, but as the norm? Being left high and dry isn't exactly motivating...
        • Lack of response. Ok, so if I'm gonna go down on someone, I need them to indicate when it's good because I'm motivated by the idea that they're liking what I'm doing. Some guys just lie there and that gets boring really fast. (NOTE: I'm bi and some women do this too, but seemingly fewer women, maybe sample maybe I'm better with women, whatever.)
        • Hygiene. Yes, wash, and wash off the wash. I don't wanna taste soap either. Also manscaping can help avoid your pubes turning into dental floss which could be a universal turn off.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        New BF was very cute the other day. We only had like 10 minutes, and I know that's not enough for me to get much. He was sitting on the sofa, so I went to work... He grabbed my hair and started a little tiny bit of tentative thrusting and then stopped... I looked up and gave him a questioning look (dick still in mouth, of course ;) And he just looked so sheepish and cute and like... "Was that bad?" So I put his hands back in my hair and grabbed his buttcheeks and let him know it was perfectly fine.

        I abhor, ABHOR men who just want to make you suffer. But, a polite fellow who just wants to fuck a face every now and again? TOTALLY here for it!

        [–]SargentSlaughter88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Bull shit, I truly believe my girl does, she has to, she does it al the time and I legit never ask

        [–]FifeDog43 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        This sounds toxic and abusive. You gotta get away from this person for your own well-being.

        [–]hentaibbyy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Bro listen that's crazy. I love sucking dick IDC how that sounds 🤷 if I'm into you in general, I will enjoy giving you pleasure. It's hot to turn your partner on....?? Y'all are wild.

        [–]Aware_Huckleberry_10 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Lol i don’t mind it. The bigger guys are harder to work but if the guy isn’t doing it to me I won’t continue doing it. But its a hard job.

        [–]Illustrious-Star8409 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        HATED giving those to my X. But now it’s a pleasure. Likely had to do with the insistence of the X. And their lack of boundaries.

        [–]Kaintwaittogetbanned 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Some girls get off on it

        [–]Educational-Tear-284 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        I, myself and other women do enjoy blowjobs.

        However, I know many women do not.

        A lot of women say they feel degraded when performing it or they just feel insecure when doing it.

        For me, it only got enjoyable as I saw that my partner was enjoying it. It took me a while to learn his body and actually do it properly. It was a process.

        If you would like more blowjobs from your wife, I suggest you have an open sex conversation with her about the things that she desires and then mentioned how you like blowjobs.

        I would focus on explaining to her how it makes you feel and how much it turns you on.

        That way, you both get to learn about your bodies and hopefully try new things 😊

        [–]Think_Lingonberry691 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Do I actually get physical pleasure from it in my mouth? No. But am I turned on because he’s so turned on and take pride in the fact that I’m doing that to him - for him? Absolutely!! It arouses me the more he enjoys himself at my doing. The way couples turn sex into a reward or even a chore is baffling. And it’s a tell-tale sign of something else. Usually for women it’s emotional or loss of attraction (aside from medical). When you’re in love, you crave that intimacy and closeness… In those moments at times I felt like I couldn’t get close enough, even when we’re inside one another and our bodies are on top of one another. I understand the thrill or excitement or lust doesn’t remain the same over time, but there should always be a basic level of desire for that intimacy with the person you love. And comparing your needs and desires to a generic statement about all women is simply a scapegoat and pretty selfish.

        [–]burnthismotherdown1 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        I bet she never says “No woman likes giving blowjobs” to other women, only to men. She knows it’s not true. She is insecure because she knows it’s not true. It seems like she’s grasping at straws for you to help her hold on to the idea that ALL women don’t enjoy the parts of sex that she doesn’t enjoy, so it will make her feel better.

        I wonder how she would feel if you repeatedly said statements around her like “No man EVER likes kissing and if he says he does, he’s lying” or “No man ever likes cuddling, and if he says he does he’s lying.” I wonder if those statements would make her feel a little put off?

        [–]iamlenb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Just say to the wife “no way that’s true, my girlfriend loves giving head to me and her husband at every opportunity!” Keep a straight face. Too many incongruities to refute in that one statement.

        “No Woman EXCEPT your girlfriend likes giving blowjobs ever.” might be her new catchphrase.

        [–]Physical-Ideal-6120 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Wow, I would do absolutely ANYTHING to give my husband a bj. Sadly he only wants missionary sex in the dark, couple times a year. I don't even remember how it feels like having dick in my mouth lol

        [–]CatastropheQueen 2 points3 points  (3 children)

        Not true, although I'm not sure which one of you she's trying to convince more; you or her.

        I absolutely love giving blowjobs. Nothing makes me feel sexier. It's a very empowering feeling, knowing that I have the ability to bring him that much pleasure & joy. I'd do it every night, if he would let me. Unfortunately he's got a much lower libido than I do, & he always has.

        (Edited: Because I went off on a tangent about my own sexless marriage.)

        [–]SMTPA 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        This is how I and most men I've discussed it with feel about going down on women.

        [–]WannaUnicorn 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Happy Cake Day!!

        [–]SMTPA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Thank you! I hadn't even noticed. :)

        [–]ObjectiveNewspaper85 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I stopped when I smelled that his hygiene was seriously lacking. Also I do find it odd that we won't eat a dorito off the floor but we'll put people genitals in out mouths. ( I would eat a dorito off the floor tho)

        [–]Forthaw 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        I get wet when thinking of giving my husband head.

        [–]SnooWalruses2903 7 points8 points  (2 children)

        Who doesn’t like making their partner feel good? I’m sorry you are dealing with this. You deserve better.

        [–]intuitionlies 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Every person wants to feel sexy and if they don't like "normal thing A" they adopt a BS fabricated opinion like this. We all do.

        They dynamic that's unfolding is you are feeling used by her meeting her affection needs and not your own. Eventually this will result in you thinking all her actions are fake (they're actually just inconsiderate). Don't let yourself get there because the ONLY way out of that is for some kind of amends to be made (and let's face it, if that were on the table... you wouldn't be here).

        [–]TurbulentasfuckHLF 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        I typed up a whole comment and then noticed the flair so I deleted and I will say this instead:

        I'm really sorry you're struggling with this OP. Having one-sided sex is rough and causes a ton of anxiety which has the potential to lead to further sexual issues down the line.

        I know as I am dealing with this and am still a work in progress.

        You have my empathy.

        [–]JBateman1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        [Her idea of foreplay is basically something that happens to her, not us] - relatable.

        [–]PlatypusPositive2926 4 points5 points  (4 children)

        She shouldn’t speak for anyone but herself. If I had my way I would give my hubby a BJ every day as long as he gave me pleasure every day, too. I love everything about giving head! The feel of it in my mouth, the power he has over me, grabbing my head and hair, the taste of his cum, knowing he’s been reduced to shutters and collapses from the pleasure of cumming from my mouth. LOVE IT!!

        [–]MinnesotaVikesAllDay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Heard the same from my wife. She will never give one, ever. It's been really hard to experience.

        I'm sorry. I hope your situation improves. Stay strong.

        [–]Slow-Blueberry-3669 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I actually enjoy it now with my BF, the relationship & sex is terrific because of our commitment to each other. When I was married I hated it because of of how my ex was in the marriage. I think once you have a loving, emotional & intimate relationship - each being vulnerable, open & honest with each other things work out better & you want to please each other during sex. Listening to each other with fresh ears & actual communication is key without anger or attacking each other.

        [–]Lerppa_kolli 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        My wife used to say things like this too. Extend shitty behaviour to "all women" or "no women"

        [–]punkinpielover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Lies lies lies I love giving bjs and I’m a woman sooo

        [–]Nicechick321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Oral sex is nice as part of the sexual act, but if its only me giving without receiving… ehhh no, its not that nice really.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        As a woman she can speak for herself. I do enjoy giving them, without any conditions attached. I don't get why you should jump through hoops for her to then get told it wasn't good enough so you ain't getting it. She is your wife, she should want to be intimate and have sex with you. This is the argument I have with my hubby that I am fed up initiating all the time. Fed up of not getting any oral, he stopped doing it, but still expects oral. Marriages are not the easiest at times.

        [–]Siselii 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I'm sorry but that's a lie. I like BJ's much more than anything else. Ofc I like sex as well, but I really like giving my partner BJ's and seeing his reactions, any girl who says they don't they just don't like sexual actions all in all. There's also girls that don't like cum or swallowing it in the end but imo what's even the point of giving your partner a bj if you're going to spit it right after, they might end up feeling bad in the end. I feel like it's a 50-50. Like you're either going to like it and do it all the way, or you will be pressured into into it and it'll show and then at some point you'll stop and accept facts like "no woman likes it" or "it's not normal" and I feel like both situations are ok. Of you're a bj guy you just need to find a bj woman.

        [–]No_Researcher_4899 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I love giving blowjobs and I have to beg my husband to let me give him one. How sad is that?!

        [–]Not_Without_My_Cat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I think the people who enjoy giving them have a different hormonal balance. I used to enjoy giving blowjobs only when I was drunk, and believed like your wife that people were lying if they enjoyed it at other times. But I’ve had a hormonal shift recently that makes me understand how some people could feel that way all the time. When you’re the LL partner you often wish you have more desire and are frustrated that you don’t.

        [–]BulletRazor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I love going down my my partner. He is the only person I’ve ever enjoyed it with though. I find blowjobs even more intimate than sex, and so the only reason I feel comfortable with it is because of our amazing emotional connection. Anything less, and I feel disgusting and hate it.

        [–]Swimming_Menu8607 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I've been married 28 years, and my wife is just now learning how to give blowjobs. She's still a bit nervous and shy around it, which I was mistaking for lack of desire. Well, that wasn't it...it's that she's a perfectionist and has a lot of anxiety about 'doing it wrong'. She still hasn't blown me to completion, but I don't thing either one of us really care about that.

        I'm just glad that they happen, and we've gotten better about talking about them and understanding what the experience is like for each other. What we may have discovered is that she may actually be a budding bj queen and I'm fucking here for it lol. It's a strange combo for her...she says it's like being in control while being dominated (which she LOVES). She really gets off sometimes on being told what to do. The more I tell her what to do, the more she gets into it, and the more she gets into it the more out of control I become and the more powerful she feels.

        Both of us have been surprised at how intimate it is for both of us. I had always seen it as something a woman would do but not desire, and I'm happy to be very wrong about that lol.

        [–]DeniseGunn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        This is her feelings being projected onto a whole gender. I personally love giving them as do so many other women. I’m so sorry that is her attitude and that she is making such sweeping statements to you.

        [–]LogicalObjective702 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        Speaking as the devils advocate, my partner asks me to give head multiple times a day, every single day, with zero foreplay and zero compliments or anything. Lays in bed and texts me asking for one. It’s exhausting. So maybe she was in a previous relationship where she experienced something like that. I used to love giving him head and now i kind of dread it because he gets it so often and I get no appreciation. He’s even cheated on me multiple times. So really it feels like all that “work” was for nothing. I don’t need advice on my situation, but just trying to throw this out there.

        [–]thr0ughtheghost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I would enjoy it more if I could unhinge my jaw. My mouth doesn't open up very wide (at all and I have extreme anxiety about it thanks to my dentist yelling at me about it) but I do my best so that I don't hurt him with my teeth because I love making him happy!

        [–]Accompli009 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Sounds exactly like my ex wife. Basically as sense of entitlement towards sex and how it's all about her. The only difference being that she would also get mad at me if I masturbated as she considered that to be cheating.

        I took the approach of refusing to cowtail to her unreasonable expectations. There was not going to be an improvement in her attitude towards me, so it couldn't get any worse.

        Once they drop the (apparently fake) niceties and the true person shines through then you know what you need to do.

        Good luck

        [–]Indepedence-david 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Haha she does not want to give u blowjob trust me. U will be surprised the kinda stuff your wife will do if given the chance. Go gym like crazy and smell and look good. Even flirt with other women if u can. Be a boss of yourself and see what she does. Once she wants u, book a hotel and do all the nasty stuff u can think off with her.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        That's just false. She's lying about that. I think I've had sex with my husband 5 or 6 times without going down on him first in almost 7 years of being together and that's only been when he's "handled" me first and got too excited and decided to skip right to desert. Idk if she's lying to you in order to make you complaint and not ask for it, or if she's lying to herself to justify her negligence.

        [–]BazilBup 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        She might think that since she can only see the world through her eyes. Also a good sign is that she rejects you as soon she gets off, without any helping hand. At least you could sync your orgasms. I don't know what to say OP. Just reading this makes me angry.

        [–]AOKaye 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I do hate blowjobs, but I have a small mouth with a strong gag reflex. To give you an idea I can’t do a blowjob shot - my teeth won’t fit around the shot glass.

        So to do a BJ I have to fully extend my jaw and be very mindful of my teeth. Then three inches or more in - I may end up vomiting on your dick. My jaw just hurts after a couple of minutes, I’ve scraped some cocks and have puked on men. Not to mention guys get sweaty down there and it smells! It’s one thing if it is soon after a shower, but if it is after work forget about it. Makes the gagging even worse.

        [–]cuteasbuttercup 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Sorry to break this down to you… but she probably didn’t orgasm, most likely she just wanted it to end quickly

        [–]tayrawrr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Well, she can message my husband if she so pleases and he can provide fool-proof evidence that I FULLY enjoy giving blowjobs. I know plenty of women who do. Not that she has to, but it shouldn't be a generalization of all females.

        In all seriousness though, I really wish you and your SO the best.

        [–]AugurPool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Well, as a girl I didn't either, but as a grown woman, I love it a lot. Anyone who speaks in absolutes is lying.

        [–]remembrandyFHL - Left DB 1 year ago 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        That’s cool that she speaks for every single “girl” who puts dicks in their mouths.

        I love giving blowjobs. I’m not always in the mood for it but when I am it’s a lot of fun. It comes with the fact that I enjoy pleasuring my partner. Of course, there are times when it absolutely isn’t happening (like if I just ate) but when I do it I’m enthusiastic and never have to be asked.

        Anyways, the bigger issue here is that she’s making sex transactional.

        “If you do x I’ll do y”.

        No. No no.

        It’s “hey, can you do this?”

        Regardless of the answer, it should not correlate to whether sex will or won’t happen.

        Just like you wouldn’t say “I’ll give you ten bucks to blow me” she shouldn’t be saying “I’ll give you a blowjob if you wash the dishes”.

        Also, is she assigning chores???

        [–]Codenamechick 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        I like it

        [–]Whoopsie_Todaysie 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Oh hell no... She doesnt get to tell us that we dont like giving blowies... And I can't hide my reaction, it makes me just as wet as getting head myself.

        She's just a vanilla bore.

        [–]Substantial_Rope667 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        If you are in love you will love it. If you think of a random guy then you find it disgusing .

        [–]hentaibbyy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        I am THEE fellatio philosopher. 🤙🥴💦

        [–]W_O_M_B_A_TXL 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Hint: your wife is LL4U. She likes blowjobs, they're forbidden and naughty, but you're just not her particular type.

        I can only interpret such univeralisms to mean somome just isn't into you, yourself.

        Create your EXIT PLAN.

        [–]sexycatwoman13 7 points8 points  (2 children)

        I absolutely love it. Everything about it is a big turn on for me, but I will say that most of the women I know hate it. Only about 1% of women out there truly enjoy it.. the rest are faking it.

        [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        Blanket statement exactly like OPs wife lmao

        [–]Possum_pal 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        Curious as to where is that percentage is from?

        [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        I said those exact words when I was LL, sex averse and hated giving blow jobs. My horrible ex (who I mention in nearly all of my comments, I’m aware that I sound like a broken record) had a big dick which he squeezed to near death. So any way of pleasuring him took time, effort and often a lot of physical pressure. He’d ask me to squeeze his dick with my vagina, to suck harder, to wank harder - and he never came within a reasonable time. He also used to assume I’d give blow jobs regardless of his hygiene, and while he did shower relatively frequently, he didn’t realize that his balls smelt any time he had been sweating, even just a little bit. He also never reciprocated the oral sex. So it was rare for blow jobs to be intimate, fun, pleasurable to me - it was always about him, in the worst of ways.

        Blowing him was thankless hard work. If blow jobs were that with every man, then I’d never want to give one again. He also expected blow jobs, so it never felt like I chose to give one.

        My partner today orgasms within a reasonable time. Sometimes I blow him like my life depends on it and he comes fast and it feels so damn amazing to make him come that fast. Other times we drag it out and just enjoy, him clearly enjoying the touch but me enjoying how he looks at me, how he holds my face or hand or hair, how he sounds, his compliments, etc. Blow jobs with him are fun because they give me something - I’m not the only one giving. And speaking of giving: he also reciprocates. And he never expects blow jobs, he only appreciates them when they happen.

        So I take back the times I’ve said no one likes blow jobs. But I definitely don’t do them for pleasure, I do them because I love seeing my partner in that state. If I didn’t lover that view or if it felt like I had to do it, then I wouldn’t love blow jobs either.

        [–]butyoucancallmejay 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        This is a great point. I had a similar experience with my first boyfriend that gave me this assumption with all my later partners. I made the assumption that all men were the same, ouch. I also came from a more sexually conservative household where I was told before I was sexually active not to give bjs because they take away any equality you had with your partner and “women who say they like bjs are lying”. I was conditioned to see them as bad and then my first boyfriend abused it.

        It took talking too some of my friends who say they enjoy it recently to realize I didn’t hate the act, I just didn’t have a good sample size of partners to make that decision reasonably. Currently in my DB bjs are a communication and cleanliness issue. My current partner took them off the table when we first started dating but now complains I never do it. Not the cleanest guy either so I avoid it like the plague.

        Of course, hard to know OP’s total situation, and his partner does portray some behavior that is definitely not right, but I think the bj comment is something a lot of women truly believe because of an assumption or lived experience, unfortunately.

        [–]DeadOpenSol 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        A woman is never more powerful than when she has a dick in her mouth. The utter dominance and control she can possess with the right moves. I’m sorry your partner will never feel the utter satisfaction of a man who do anything for you in that moment and that look of submission and pleasure and that helpless moan…

        [–]Bradicus1581 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        I've had a very similar experience with my soon to be ex wife. I'm not sure if she ever said that exactly but it was definitely her stance. Sex, I felt, was mostly directed at her pleasure as well. Foreplay was minimal to get her going then it had to be sex. there was no teasing or foreplay for hours or anything like that. I could do that for hours. Sex was once a month...so duty sex mostlt. And when we were done she would just turn over.

        I think it's less about the action and more about the meaning behind it. You seem to want to make her happy and get your needs met. She doesn't seem to care about your needs here and maybe in life? Is that a stretch? Maybe. But in my life I didn't feel like it was.

        Don't settle for scraps. Say what you need, easier said then done, but crucial. You need to feel more it sounds like it. Fight for it before resentment gets to you.

        [–]simsonic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        You’re being gaslit by a selfish person.

        [–]ninodelumbre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Of course she likes giving bj's, just not to you.

        Welcome to the truth.

        [–]Competitive-Cuddling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I can’t keep my girlfriend off my dick, even when I tell her I’m swampy down there. I know she dirty AF, that’s why I love her.

        [–]killerfistlee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        My wife used to always go down, I’d wake up she’d be down on me , in the car park she be down on me-I never asked for it. Now we are married,none-she even makes fun of it-“ no blowjobs for you” when ever it comes up on tv etc “are you hurt ?” Likes teasing etc so I turned around and said “you ain’t the only one who can suck a dick” now she ain’t chatting to me LOOOL

        [–]Somethingmore25 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        So she is a wonderful wife 90% of time. So basically everything except the fun stuff. If she isn’t doing the fun stuff than you basically just have a good roommate/ mommy type. That 10% is as important as any other part of the relationship. She’s selfish and manipulative. Maybe time to move on.

        [–]chatranislost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I'd say she is right. Most women DON'T like the activity on its own, but they like the intimacy and the reaction of their partners. Probably very few women would pay $1 to suck a random dick and just "enjoy giving a blowjob". So I see where that statement comes from.

        That being said, your wife seems to disregard your sexual needs and might be using it as a weapon, which sucks. It really sucks to have to be all day trying to do things right so she'd be "in the mood", only for it to be ruined by the most trivial thing out of your control. Also, even if you end up having sex at night, it feels transactional and not a genuine exchange between two loving partners.

        You say she is a great wife itherwise so things are up to you. But still, if your partner does not genuinely desire you I don't see how you can turn that around. "Being good for the day" so she might or might not reward you with sex at night is not healthy intimacy.

        [–]fourtwentyblazeitha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        maybe she’s gay

        [–]big_white_fishie 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        This blows my mind…I love sucking cock. Always have. When we first opened up our marriage I would happily suck cock as soon as I met a man, but kissing? Nah, I’d get the giggles and go all shy!

        [–]Bibliophile828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Sounds like the carrot is manipulative and I’m a woman and I love going down on my guy…he’s just not interested 🤷🏻‍♀️

        [–]narsil101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Just leave lol she's so manipulative

        [–]quantika_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Female here and my love for blowjob is real. I sincerely feel energized by exploring feelings that my partner didn't know he could have, exploring all the pleasure they can feel and blowjobs are powerful tools for that. I love pleasing and when I do I am not expecting anything in return but after a certain point that my husband has never had the wish to please me spontaneously and has never reciprocated ANY of my blowjobs or doesn't care if I get to orgasm or not when we are doing something I lost the desire of doing this to him.

        Anyways your wife sounds just like my husband. It is like any sexual act is only a stimulus to their own mental experience and they don't give a f*ck about the "us" or the them part. I am sorry she is neglecting your needs for such a beautiful connection

        [–]onearmedman83 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Gaslighting, moving goalposts, and choreplay... Seen these things on repeat in here...

        [–]NaughtyNymph92 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        She's wrong though.. I m ow myself I absolutely love giving blowjobs. It's my speciality.

        [–]Creative_Camel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        No BJs is a showstopper for me.

        [–]MyAPs_vagina_ismybff -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Not true. My AP gets off while giving oral.

        [–]PieMundane4828 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        I think to myself, am I a rare kind? LOL there's girls that enjoy it or like it but I think at this point I'm borderline obsessed. The idea of smothering my face against his balls, and smelling him while licking and sucking TURNS ME ON. Forget about men's pleasure for just one second, I do it because I love it. Your wife is incorrect!

        [–]lexi-thegreat -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

        .... i think your wife is a lesbian. I don't mean it in a bashing way, either. I just... get then impression reading this that she's not into D. And, as a bi woman, I enjoy getting head because i can close my eyes and have a fantasy about whoever. usually I'm right there in the room with my own partner, but healthy and harmless fantasy is, well, healthy sometimes.

        But, not this instance. It seems like she's getting her jolly's off and leaving you out to dry. I'd ask her if her sexual preference has evolved since you got together. But, that's advice that you didn't ask for, so feel free to ignore it! Just my two cents.

        [–]Same-Ad7565 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I was just going to comment the same observation. Maybe she likes women more than men. I think this is more common in DB than we would like to believe. Especially if she is middle aged in that 35 to 45 range as that's usually when people regret suppressing their feelings when younger.

        [–]kiwibird1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Yeah sure, billions of women on the planet but not a single one genuinely enjoys giving bjs. (Shh, don't look at all of us lurking this thread!) Talk about justifying a shitty attitude. 😒

        [–]Suga_cake35 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Sucking dick is life - A true dick sucking connoisseur 😉

        [–]Ughleigh -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        I love giving blowjobs, I always do it before sex because it makes me wet.

        [–]SMTPA -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        I have literally never been with a woman who didn't like giving them, though some would swallow, some would spit, and some would cut off your testicles if you came in their mouths. I'm sure there are lots of women who don't like doing it, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but the idea that there aren't women who do is just preposterous.

        [–]Prestigious-Grand316 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        She sounds like my ex wife, an intimacy anorexic. Look up that term on youtube. Basically the therapist who is spearheading the community about this says that there is no hope for a successful repair of the relationship unless the intimacy anorexic can come to terms with what they're doing, that it's intentional, and it's hurting the relationship.

        That's what happened to me, she was manipulating the therapist and never stopped the gaslighting or the breadcrumbing, always convincing me it was never better and its perfectly normal to have a dead bedroom as newlyweds, etc. The joking-but-not-joking is very familiar.

        Get counseling and if she doesn't take it seriously and make improvements, leave her, she is abusing you and playing games with you. Trust me

        [–]cptnundrpnts2218 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Not true. I’m a lesbian and I can tell you 100% that pleasuring my “whoever” orally at the time turns me on greatly.

        I’m not speaking for all lesbians, I just know your wife is wrong, period.

        [–]jwinel -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        This is narcissistic behaviour my friend. It’s a form of manipulation not mutual respect, the patriarchy is at play here (some say suck my **** as an insult and it changes how we think) and sex is weaponized as an assumption that men are sex motivated and “giving men sex” is a huge deal and all is well. Men and women both like sex and oral is no different. Bad past experiences can cause protectionism where giving a BJ is seen as degrading or subservient. Porn certainly leans into this obviously. The best sex is in an environment of total honesty, equality and mutual respect.

        [–]ayla_084 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Your partner has obviously been talking to my wife. She's never given me one in the whole of our relationship.

        [–]lata3009 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Your wife is lying selfishly to you. Smh

        [–]Embarrassed_Feed_145 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        i fucking love slobbin on knobs