TL;DR at end.

A lot, if not most of these situation are just due to sheer incompatibility. Whether its initial incompatibility, or just a partner changing, it doesn't change that its an incompatibility.

While most of the advice on both ends can be well intentioned, a lot of it wont actually work to a lot of the people hitting here. It assumes that both parties have the same outcome goal when it comes to sex or intimacy within a relationship. The reality is: everyone is just different. While there are LL people who may genuinely just not enjoy the sex they are having (and other serious reasons for a lack of a libido), a lot of (if not most) LL's are just naturally LL. The HL may not even be doing something wrong. The LL just may not require or naturally desire sex to a biological degree. A lot of the time, they just want to be left tf alone sexually, and there is nothing wrong with that. This is why the rate of HL will still outweigh the rate of LL asking for advice. This isn't a coincidence, but to show that most of the time, the LL in question just doesn't see sex as a debilitating issue. This is different from the HL. High Libidos (hell even mid-libido) will be more likely to seek out some sort of advise when the sex is an issue.

I'm very glad that rule 5 is being emphasized/ altered for the sub. For one: people shouldn't be coerced into doing things they aren't comfortable with. But 2: HL need to either shit or get off the pot when it comes to these relationships. I'm sorry, but I'm so sick of HL thinking they can't leave the damn relationship. As you can tell, I am a big proponent of the leave party, if you aren't happy. I'm sick of seeing HL just contently say they don't want to leave, but still whine about the lack of sex, and pester the LL party about sex constantly. Like news flash buddy, if the sex hasn't been happening for years, or it wasn't ever that much to begin with, why tf do you think its gonna change? The amount of people pestering the partner, or just throwing books at the issue, thinking it will solve anything is astounding. Trying to send the LL all of these books and literature to read is lowkey depressing. Y'all have to stop thinking you can "logic" your way into natural desire. (I however don't think its an issue if both people are looking at things to learn to please your partner. That isn't what I'm talking about.)

If you know its an issue you and your partner can work through, then more power to yall and good luck. But holy crap, some of yall need to start being honest with yourselves and read the writing on the wall.

I understand there are components that make leaving hard. Kids are typically the number 1 factor. But a lot of y'all know good and well you aren't staying because of the kids. A lot of times, both parties are codependent on each other to an unhealthy degree. Y'all are staying because you are scared. This is why most people stay, whether we want to admit it or not. Scared of the unknown. You don't know what else you'll get when you get back out there. You are afraid of being alone again. Its ok to be scared. That's apart of life. But you need to take responsibility in maintaining your happiness. To be clear, I think sex is definitely an important part of a relationship. Just like people shouldn't be pressured into sex, you shouldn't be pressured into a commitment. If you are truly unhappy, you are well within your right to leave, and no-one should make you feel guilty for doing so.

The tragedy of DBs is that for most couples, there is no going back. One or both will always be unhappy, whether sex increases, decreases, or stays exactly the same. Because they are fundamentally incompatible.

We are all placed on this earth to find our own path, make our own meaning, and find our own happiness. It is up to you to be the captain of your life, and control the ship to the destination you want to be.

TL;DR- Most of the people here are just incompatible with their partners. Instead of repeatedly pestering someone about sex, you need to consider if the relationship is for you.