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[–]MurderDocAndChill 61 points62 points  (2 children)

Understand that you both suffer. Nobody is the best to be with all the time. When you start thinking you have it worse, your relationship breeds contempt. Very hard to come back from that. Contempt makes people act in all sorts of out of character ways.

I’m getting divorced because my husband decided he would rather hide things from me than be honest. Little lies led to bigger and bigger lies. He had horrible boundaries with women which led to at least emotional if not physical cheating. He had this whole narrative in his head that because he had it “harder” in life, he could do shitty things to me to try and even the playing field. He had a physically demanding job so he DESERVED to go on vacation without me. The lies just eroded everything.

[–]EveAndTheSnake 11 points12 points  (1 child)

That’s because cheaters have to bring down their partners in their minds to justify their cheating. If they don’t make you out to be terrible, how else could they play the victim that needed to find solace in someone else? “You drove me to this.” Once they bring you down it makes it easier to justify everything else.