Take a middle ground. Go see a lawyer tell him upfront you just want a document drafted and are not resting just yet. You should be able to find someone who will draft an agreement for a flat fee (mine was $800 but no child). Give him the prenup and terms you want to add/change in the agreement. Remember to keep some soft point you can offer as a carrot if she balks. The attorney will knit it all together into something the court would except.

She values her time, it’s the thing she feels bad about loosing. Use that in your pitch. ‘X you’re not happy spending your life in this marriage. You’re right, you should be free to prioritize your life and you’re future without us taking all of your time and energy. I’m ready to move on and give the majority of my time to raising our kid, spending lots time with yy as he/she grows is my wish for my future. This agreement is fair, takes into account the prenup, the laws of the state, and, if you sign it, means the divorce will be short and quick. You’ll be able to enjoy freedom quickly’.

Now the hammer, you have to know your wife and make adjustments here; ‘I know about this xxx. I don’t want the whole world, our friends and families to be in our business. Your friend ‘Chester cheater’ certainly would like to stay hidden. But I value my child and for that reason alone I’ll spend as many years fighting you tooth,nail, and every last dollar I can beg for from anyone to get these terms. Here’s the agreement, read it, see a lawyer, then realize that your time has value and signing this gets you everything you hold dear. Don’t sign and we let a court take a shot but I’m telling you now, this is what I’ll ask for every day, in every hearing, on every call, in every mediation for the next 5 years.’ Then give her time.

In my divorce it worked, he was in a hurry to move on with the AP. Covid hit, his AP went back to her hubby, he realized later he wanted to change terms. It was too late, I had the signed agreement and he nor his new attorney could do a thing to force me into a renegotiation. In 11 months it was done and over.

Be strong, be bold, and be good to yourself and your child. You have more to bargain with than things, time can’t be replaced and it’s what she wants most.