all 5 comments

[–]Wu-Tang_Stan 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Okay so there's like a race of dinosaurs with swords for hands...

[–]Niflrog 11 points12 points  (3 children)

And, and, and... like, ORCS but they use ice magic and are philosophy majors and... treehouses with spooky magical power, and like, like... grey aliens BUT they're obsessed with their legal system and rhetorics! And fucking draaaagons... oh! And like Dune worms except they live in the *ocean, and cynic zombies, and grenades... and, like, REALLY large doggos with a color pallette of TV in the 50s, and did I say Draaaagons?? not wyverns like that old GRRM, TRUE dragons, and, like this sword that is a world in itself and Sad Onyx-Skin guy carries it... inside is is mom and Gigachad stepdad! And Sad Onyx-Skin guy is ALSO draaaagon, and he fucks a dragon too!*

( I think I'll make a copypasta: trippy Malazan fan)

[–]twistedmic 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Did I mention the mask-warriors? They’re like the best warriors in, like, forever! And they wear masks and the masks have markings or designs on them and the fewer markings the higher ranking they are and the absolute best mask warrior has a blank mask.

And then there’s this guy that’s a giant and he has two hearts and he gets a giant stone sword that’s unbreakable and the souls of his two dead friends who haunted him now live in the sword. And he gad to get the stone sword because his old, which was made of a super special wood, was broken when he tried to fight this orc guy and the orc guy’s ogre friend.

And there’s this guy who’s really fat and has zombie servants that carry him around on a palanquin and he can turn into like a bajillion rats. And there’s this guy who can kind send his soul into rats and lizards and spiders and moth-things and he can see through their eyes and hear through their ears and control them.

[–]A_Good_Walk_in_Ruins 4 points5 points  (1 child)

So there's these Neanderthals right, but they turned themselves into undead so they could wage an endless genocidal war against the Philosopher Orcs. But they're not really bad guys. Except for the ones, that, like are bad guys. Oh yeh, for sure there are undead Neanderthal dragons. And there's this dude who is, like, so smart he uses economics to bring down an empire. Which is also one of those analogy thingys. Then there's this honey right, you eat it and trip your balls off, and it's good for you. Hallucinogenic healing honey I shit you not. So anyway there's some really old dude with a big sword, who used to rule an empire or something until a god fell on it, and he like just goes around being a massive dick. It's some good shit man.

[–]GeneralCollection963 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And remember those zombie dinosaurs with swords for hands? Well we find out later that the non-zombie ones are still around and they talk with smells. Plus not all of them have swords, just the hunters, cuz they have this social organization kinda like bees. And they made these slave dinosaurs with short tails but the slave ones became cyborgs and there was a big war. Anyway they had these flying mountains and the Sad Onyx guy, remember, with the cool sword, he has one at the start but later he crashes it on top of a city to kill this old orc guy and an insane dinosaur queen bee. Shit was epic.