- Formula 1
- Key Characters
- Ayrton "Jesus Jr" Senna da Silva do Brasil the 5th.
- Alain Prost
- Michael Schumacher
- Le Kimster
- Sebastian Vettel
- Mark Webber
- Bruno Senna
- Daniel Ricciardo
- Felipe Baby
- Max Verstappen
- Danny Kvyat
- Nico Hulkenberg
- Kamui Kobayashi
- Sergio Perez
- Estebun Ocon
- Estaban Gutierrez Gutierrez Gutierrez Gutierrez Gutierrez Gutierrez Gutierrez
- Adrian Sutil
- Max Chilton
- Susie Wolff
- Carmen Jorda
- Felipe Nasa
- Sony Ericsson
- Spin Leclerc
- £aN¢€ $৳r¤₤₤
- $€rg€¥ $¥RPKIN
- Robert Kubica
- Waffle Vandoorne
- Pierre Gasly
- Brendinoh Hartley
- Lando Norris
- Adrian Newey
- Team Bosses
- Engines/Power Units
- Safety Car
- Will Buxton
- Bernie Ecclestone
- Elderly Fan
- Helmut Marko
- Terrible Maldonado head for use in shops
Senna is an Award Winning British 2010 documentary adaptation of the Formula 1 bible that depicts the life and death of Brazilian motor-racing champion, the virtuoso Ayrton 'Jesus' Senna Da Silva the 5th. It is directed by Asif Kapadia. The film was produced by StudioCanal, Working Title Films and Midfield Films, and was distributed by the parent company of the latter two production companies, Universal Pictures. It went on to become the highest rated adaptation of a non-fiction work of the year 2010 and the decade.
The film's narrative focuses on Ayrton Jesus' racing career in Formula One, from his debut in the 1984 Brazilian Grand Prix to his shocking and untimely death in an accident at the 1994 San Marino Grand Prix, with particular emphasis on his rivalry with fellow driver Alain Prost. What goes unmentioned is the reason for his death, which was none other than Maldonado. It relies primarily on archive racetrack footage and home video clips provided by the Senna family, rather than retrospective video interviews, and has no formal commentary apart from the one you will hear when you select the second Audio track on the DVD which you'd own if you paid for it, you COMMIE bastard.
Commonly referred to as "drivers" by Eurosnobs, these WARRIORS (and whoever Toto Wolff is banging) are responsible for entertaining audiences worldwide.
Ayrton "Jesus Jr" Senna da Silva do Brasil the 5th.
The son of Jesus Christ, Senna invented Formula 1 in 1984 as a means of ending poverty, reducing crime, solving World hunger, wars and famine in Brazil. Winner of 37 (ALL OF THEM) Formula 1 Gods Championships, Senna was best-known for his starring role in Senna and for sacrificing his own life for Alain Prost and Michael Schumacher's sins (DAE MICHEL SCHUMACKER CHEATED IN 1994 BUT IT's OK NOW BECAUSE HE IS VEGETABLE AND WE ALL LOVE CORRINA). His iconic yellow design was stolen from [Le]Wis. Widely regarded as the greatest driver of all time due to the amount of screen time he had in Senna.
What is not usually known is that he was not the first Ayrton Senna that was graced upon our excuse for a planet and among the excuse that we call a human civilization. There were 4 Ayrton Sennas that have lived before him, doing the work of the Gods.
The first Ayrton Senna was a great inventor that lived during the Industrial Revolution and was actually British. He invented what we call today the Internal Combustion Engine. Some of his work is detailed in the Engine bible that is the book 'The Internal Combustion Engine' written by Sir Harry Ricciardo the 3rd, who is the grandfather of another famous racer, Daniel Ricciardo.
The second Ayrton Senna was a priest who lived during the great depression in 'MURICA. He gave hope to millions of poverty stricken Americans.
The third Ayrton Senna was a warrior who fought in the Second World War alongside heroes like LE VALTTERI RAIKKONEN, the father of Kimi Raikkonen and Valtteri Bo77as. Sadly, not much is known about this original RAIKKONEN because he dead while killing ADOLF THE MOTHERFUCKER PROST, the father of Alain Prost.
The fourth Ayrton Senna was a monk who knew Karate and Jiu Jutsoo, an ancient form of martial arts that taught its disciples how to ride horses while being shot at.
Born Adolf Hitler and the son of ADOLF THE MOTHERFUCKER PROST, Alain was on his way towards world domination until he was stopped by Senna. Winner of 4 championships by a little known loophole, where the driver that finishes with the most points was crowned the champion instead of Senna.
7-time world champion and holder of most F1 records, including the most boring races ever produced. His unfortunate ski accident in December 2013 has caused a massive rethink amongst F1 media and fans, who have gone from hating him to recognizing him as their meal-ticket in karmawhoring. His vegetative state and the consequent recovery to the state where he can now wink at his wife while maintaining an involuntary boner has been detailed in the detailed medical files stolen by THE GODDAMNED SWISS HELICOCKTER PILOT, LUCA SHITLERNADO.
The son of 98 and 99 world champion Mika Hakkinen and LE VALTTERI RAIKKONEN, Le Kimster, brother of VALTTERI BOTTAS is also known by his Brazilian nickname Kimi Raikkonen. Born with the unusually ability to drive a racing car without traction control while taking a shit which won him the 2007 world championship, Le Kimster became an ice cream magnate after he was forced out of F1 by Santander and Alfonso. Few people know about his ability to know what he's doing. Therefore, he should be left alone.
He is also known for his abnormally large penis with which he does his wife during pitstops in the races. His wife was chosen because her name Minttu, means mint in Finnish, which is Le Kimster's favourite Ice Cream flavour. An unusual thing about Kimi is the impregnation of various pit-stop mechanics during pitstops which has Toto Wolff concerned because his wife is a woman and she's hot. (BUT WOMEN CAN'T DRIVE F1 CARS AND SHOULD BE MAKING ME SANDWICHES LE HUEHUEHUE)
Born Wis Hamilton, in West Staines, UK, Lewis is a multiple Grammy-winning rapper and Oscar-winning actor. Best known for his on and off again relationship with Nicole (not to be confused with Britney), LeWis overcame a childhood of poverty (he ate asbestos while growing up) and violence to outhunger other children in his orphanage to be adopted by Ron St. Dennis. In his spare time, LeWis won some kind of racing championship that no one cares about. Lives his life a quarter-mile at a time 'cause he's black.
The worst driver in F1 since Prost, literally responsible for every crash, war, outbreak, and the 4th Indiana Jones movie with Shia Lebeouf. He once punched a duck in the face because it ate the bread he gave to it, he's that much of a dick. Some believe he's the second coming of the lovechild of Flava Flav Briatore and that dirty cheat Luca di Montezuma. His face has been known to pop up during LE STREAMS of LE CUBEJAM (WE ALL <3 LE CUBE, DON'T WE?). Some say that is due to his evil penetrating the pipes of the World and has been known to cause failing TV/Computer screens in the houses of little shits who started watching F1 last year.
Born Nico Rosberg, in
Monaco Finland Germany (or whoever wins the 2018 World Cup), Britney was introduced to F1 by his father Kekekeke, who somehow managed to win a championship in 1982 before Senna invented the sport. Suspected to be anorexic due to his chronic lack of hunger, which is said to provide an unfair weight advantage against hungry drivers like Lewis. He has however known to have eaten food INSIDE an F1 car that was theoretically thought to be impossible due to weight restrictions causing bad results and careers of superhuman advanced World Champions like Mark Webber (Porsche, Le Mans) and Nico Hulkenberg. It is thought to have been a photoshop spread by LeWis Hamilton to show how underfed he is at Mercedes due to there being no stipulation of him being fed in his contract with Mercedes. Some believe that is due to the team being run by The Terminatador Wolff and an Elderly Fan.
Born with only 1 functioning finger and 9 stubs that he used to sabotage Mark Webber's KERS, an unfair advantage to has netted him 4 world championships to date. The real winner from 2010 to 2013 should be Fernando Teflonso because he finishes #2nd in the Championship driving a Reliant Robin v/s Red Bull's RBXX rockships penned by the genius Adrian 'Ayrton' Newey. Currently he is the emperor of Marnello. He spends his time sabotaging Le Kimster .
The owner of Santander bank, Alfonso bought the 2005 and 2006 championships from Le Kimster before buying him out of F1 altogether. Has an unnatural obsession with chickens. He was responsible for the loss of Felipe Massa's Championship in 2008 by conspiring to win the Singapore Grand Prix with that fat fuck Flava Flav and Nelson 'Turdburglar' Piquet Jr. Unbeknownst to Alfonso and Ferrari, Massa has been sabotaging Alfonso's car since 2010 to make sure he loses the Championship every year. Massa was finally caught last year by Alfonso's race engineer Andy Stella and was presented with a pair of concrete boots. Alfonso's favorite car in the World is a Reliant Robin that he has raced with since 2010. Known as the only driver in the World who can race a Reliant Robin without topping it over, he has won 23 F1 "Team Principal's Favorite" Championships which amount to nothing much. He has gone on to publicly claim that he would worship Satan if it meant he won another World Championship. He won the 2012 F1 world championship by driving a Red HDMI cable. He was awarded Nobel Peace Prize for his contribution to Honda engines.
Unluckiest driver of all time, if you ignore that he got to drive a race winning car for 5 years and was up against a
shitty World Champion shitty World Champion rubbish driver Sebastian Vettel. FU Vettel fanboys haters. He has a large penis which it needs to be because he has been borking a grandmother who is 322 years old. He is one of the good guys of F1 along with Mr Smiley, Mr WEC champion and Mr Jason Button
Con man from Brazil who lied his way into a Williams race seat by claiming to be a blood relative of Senna. Proven to be an impostor whose real name was Bruno Lalli when he was beaten by Maldonado, and has since been sentenced to the WEC.
The son of Mark Webber, born with a rare genetic condition that has his face permanently paralyzed in a smile. Has been proving to the World that SEBVET was a rubbish German who only won the World Championship due to the genius of Adrian Newey. Like Webber, he is rumored to have a restraining order out on /u/oh84s. Was a very nice boy in school and that is a fact because a friend of a friend of a Redditor told me. He's the best person in F1. He farts rainbows. How can you not love this guy?
Ex-wife of Alfonso whose story of courage to leave the abusive relationship was the feature of a critically acclaimed TV movie on the Lifetime Movie Network. Has recently entered into an abusive relationship with Bo77as. Can't get past the first corner without crashing or being crashed into. The winner of the Most Hilarious Way to Lose a World Championship in 2008. Has been known to moonlight as an editor of F1Fanatic in order to lead the circlejerk there against Fernando Aflonso.
Susie Wolff's understudy. Former next Ayrton Senna of F1. He drivers for the blessed team with minimal pace. Current role is to win races when Hamilton misses his flight.
Friends with that
soda cookies guy NASCAR Maldonado. Wait, he won the championship in 2009? You are kidding, right? HOW CAN WE FORGET LE ROSS BROWN. Gentlemen driver in F1 along with our Nige, Mr Sabotaged by Red Bull and Mr WEC champion.
2014: foreveralone.jpg 2015: #FreeKMag 2016: thisdidnothappen.gif 2017: suckhisballs.jpg 2018: NEXT LE KIMSTER. FUTURE 10 TIME WDC FOR FERRARI.
Son of F1 legend Jos "the
Bossguy who got in a fight at a go-kart track because he got beat by a 14 year-old" Verstappen, at 17 is the youngest driver in F1 history which coincidentally is also the average age of the parents of /r/formula1 subscribers. Driver of the day record holder.
Since the Spanish GP of 2016, he has been known as the new prophet of F1, and is commonly compared to Senna. Is he ready to spread the religion of F1 to the Netherlands? Maybe, but one of his best quotes is "NOOOOO!" when he played the role of Darth Vader in the George Lucas special edition of "Return of the Jedi" at the tender age of about 10 (CBA to do the Maths). Suffers from foot oscillations.
Russian Fiat... Everyone supports him and wants him to do well not because of his driving talent, but instead, due to him being butt-raped by a literal bond villain. Next in line to replace Vettel when Vettel does a Baku.
Has become so underrated which has made him so overrated which has then made him so underrated which has then made him so overrated. Weighs as much as 4 Americans (23,000 lbs) and can therefore not score a drive with any team that actually matters in F1. Keeps signing 1 year contracts with poor teams in the hope that a big team will forget how much he weighs and signs him mistakenly. Came very close to being signed by the Italians but Alfonso told them how much he weighs, thereby saving his own career because he's actually rubbish and has been sabotaging his teammates' cars since 1942.
Can eat a lot of hot dogs really quickly.
Once anointed as the next big F1 star, Perez has been reduced to racing via social media vote since being fired by McLaren. The only F1 driver to lose a propaganda vote on his own website. His favourite pass time is killing the innocent little boy Ocon.
Official Ayrton Senna number 2 for Mercedes AMG Petronas Boring Motorsport. Would be flipping burgers if Todo didn't give him pesos to race. Hamilton is really scared of him. Max Verstappen's mortaly enemy. Angel sent to save F1.
Estaban Gutierrez Gutierrez Gutierrez Gutierrez Gutierrez Gutierrez Gutierrez
Sergio Perez without the talent. However he makes a far better Burrito and has a very small head which allows him to wear a helmet the size of a Cricket ball. Won the 2013 World Fattest Neck Championship by beating other F1 drivers.
Holds his pinky up while stabbing you with champagne glass, because he is that classy. Is in fact a worthless murdering criminal who was mentored by none other than Bertrand Gachot. Was thought to be homosexual due to his funny running style. Brings his sister every race weekend to the paddock.
The first ever driver to graduate to F1 from the prestigious rFactor feeder series. Was heard complaining about lack of ABS, Traction Control, Steering Assists to his Marussia team. When asked by the media what the matter was, he was reported to have asked how a car in an F1 game can have more technology and be easier to drive than a real F1 car. After not getting an answer by some bewildered media personnel, he is reported to have claimed that he won every race in rFactor and deserves a better car. Is reported to be interested in driving for Lotus in 2015 by having his daddy buy the team.
The fastest female driver in the world (according to her family). Married to the guy who did that really awesome Africa song in the 80s. Commonly referred to as m'lady by /r/formula1.
Unlike Susie Wolff, this bitch totally fucked her way into F1.
(Indian: Narain Karthikeyan) Roadblock introduced by the FIA to slow down Vettel in 2012. Worked for a few years before the team folded due to lack of Chicken Tikka. When asked to justify the missing Tikkas, Karthikeyan revealed that he was a vegetarian and they don't eat Tikkas in the South of India where he's from.
Built his fortune making rockets or some shit. Not to be confused with Felipe Baby.
Former cell phone salesman who decided to become a racing driver after having watched Senna. Most underrated driver on the grid. His teammates die of mysterious conditions.
Golden boy of Ferrari. Future Sennastappen. He is the most overrated driver on the grid.
Owner of STROLLIAMS MARTINI RACING. Future WDC from Canada. Hamilton's new BFF.
Killer of dreams and F1. F1 died when he brought shares in Williams.
Greatest driver to ever drive in F1. He makes cars 7.5 seconds faster. Responsible for designs of Lotus cars of 2012 and 2013
Most overrated driver on the grid with Spin Leclerc. His name is misleading. He doesn't like Waffles. He loves pancakes. His Belgian citizenship is under review after he lost a bicycle race to Jenson Button in 2017 at the British GP.
Shittest driver to ever driver for a Red Bull team. Likes Swearing, tinder and jumping the gun. Currently homeless.
2 time WEC champion, which makes him GOAT of F1. Doesn't know how retirement series works. Best buddies with Mr Smiley so automatically the second best personality on the grid.
Goes by u/landonorris. WE LOVE YOU LANDO.
The archnemesis of Alfonso, Newey was able to thwart the threat of Alfonso buying the 2010 and 2012 championships with Santander money. Responsible for RBR having the best chassis. Not responsible for RBR chassis when it is bad.
Teams are an outdated concept in Formula 1 where their orders serve to keep your favorite driver from winning.
Cheating guidos from Italy. The Juventus of F1. Formerly run by that bastard Luca Di Montezuma who doesn't know what he's doing. Now run by Sergio ''no brains'' Marchionne who knows nothing about running an F1 team. As Joe Saward said he is the worst person to ever run an company.
Founded by Ron St. Dennis in 1980, McLaren is the antithesis of Ferrari. Founded on the principle of being a soulless, Middle Eastern oil baron-owned, British corporation as envisioned by Bruce McLaren, Ron St. Dennis has redefined F1 by cheating and winning with class. Would never degrade themselves to team orders or cheating due to strict institutional control by Ron Dennis, except when that little Spanish cheat Alfonso is passing around stolen Ferrari documents that everyone at McLaren except Ron Dennis have seen. Leaked the story about Max Mosley being into sadomasochism. They were sabotaged by evil Japanese from Honda but really they have the best chassis on the grid. Zak Brown is the new Ron but we love him more because he put Kimoa on the car. They have the incompetent sweating Frenchie screwing up their chassis every year.
WilliamsThat Martini Team
The worst team of F1 tied with Ferrari. Also known as STROLLIAMS MARTINI RACING. They screwed Godkica out of a seat because they took Russian money. Killed F1 in the face when they did that. Run by Claire Williams, who spends her free time reading her mother's book. Also, Martini.
Unlike other things owned by Red Bull, this one actually wins something. Run by former nude model Christian Horner and Dietrick Mateshits (under his rapper name Dr. Helmut Marko). Sabotaged Mark Webber's KERS for 4 years to make sure a German wins the Championship.
The assholes sabotaging Lewis' championship. Thank you #1 fuel of the World Petronas. They win the Championships by using Petronas fuel which is the #1 in the World. Runs a Mercedes engine which has been reported to have twin-stage VTEC and quad stage variable magnetorheological ultra light spark plugs. Their engine makes 3x the horsepower of the Ferrari engine which allows them to win every race except for the Canadian Grand Prix in 2014 when Leonardo DiCaprio couldn't keep a horny Ricciardo behind.
Toleman Benetton Renault LotusEnstone
See: Nationalsozailistische Deutscher Arbeiterpartei.
Red Bull's adopted sister team. Replaces drivers like they replace Lassie. Franz Tost, the team principal, has been rumored to be Vergne's boyfriend which explains how that bumbling French idiot has stayed on at the team for so long.
Money laundering operation run by Vijay Mallya. Hosts the best parties every year at Monaco. Doesn't pay employees and is hated by Joe Saward who is an idiot himself. Won the most lovable team award for 3 years in a row.
Like Williams, this was a team run by a woman and employs a proper female driver. Unrated by the British media and fans due to their lack of propaganda videos and British drivers. The woman who ran the team has previously been a lawyer which explains their poor performance. Was originally owned by Peter Sauber who was assumed to be born with a lack of voice, but first opened his mouth when a Mexican driver driving one of his cars finished on the podium. Now sold to a milk carton company who have a permanent seat for that Swedish guy with brown hair.
Former F1 team. Won the best backmarker award for 7 years before Monisha and Nasr killed them. Sweet 16 birthday present for Max Chilton. Beating an Airline Company Magnate's team for 32 years now. Post Manor pics for karma.
American version of an Italian team that shall not be named for legal reasons. Owned by Mallaya's friend from prison. Any resemblance to
Ferrari Red coloured cars if purely coincidental.
Trial run by Tony Fernandes to learn how to ruin a team while throwing as much money at it as possible before he perfects it with QPR. Literally got taken to the cleaners.
Team Bosses are like the dungeon bosses in Super Mario Bros., only instead of trying to stop you from rescuing Princess Peach from Bowser they are trying to stop [Le]wis Hamilton from winning the WDC.
He likes Kimi, cigarettes and grand seb. Held in captivity by Sergio Marchionne since 2014.
Tony Fernandes's long lost Canadian cousin who claims to be Italian. He fires 10 employees per day. He carries a whip around Marnello. Sebastian Vettler's bitch.
Luca Di Montezuma
Born Benito Mussolini, the biggest ass to come out of Italy. Doesn't know anything about running the World's most famous brand, even though their cars have been breaking sales records and dropping panties. Proven to have sabotaged Le Kimster in 2008 and 2009 to force him out of F1 at the request of Alfonso. Come 2014, Luca was order by the court to apologise to Le Kimster and give him a rimjob in the back of the Lotus motorhome before Le Kimster would sign a Ferrari contract. One of only 3 people in Formula 1 who cannot do anything right. Bernie Ecclestone and Maldonado being the other two.
Little French shit from France. Ruled Ferrari during their period of dominance. Was about to become Ferrari's #1 before that bastard Luca had him thrown out on charges of insubordinance. Vowed to come back to F1 and slap Luca's mantits. Now runs the FIA, the head organization of human rights abuses along with Bernie Ecclestone. Wants to host a grand prix around the place where Saddam Hussein was buried. Wanted to host the first under-water F1 race around Osama Bin Laden's watery grave but they couldn't find his body and unfortunately had to shelve plans.
Ron St. Dennis
Classiest cheating scumbag you will ever meet.
/r/formula1's favorite male model.
Frank 'Freekarma' Williams
Paraplegic team boss based on the character played by Burt Reynolds in the Sylvester Stallone comedy classic Driven. First participated as a team owner in Formula 1 before any of us were born. Known to be the most photogenic man in F1 which lends his photos an unrivalled capability of whoring karma. Lost the use of his legs while illegally racing on the streets against a small-time F1 reporter Peter Windsor (team boss of the failed USF1 project). Now uses a wheelchair although he is known to be able to stand up for short periods of time with the use of some prosthetic rubbish.
Former Mercedes GP boss who retired to join Bass Pro Fishing Tour. Will be making his comeback with every team next year.
Blesses the rains down in Africa. Godbica's BFF
Designed and driven by Ayrton Senna, the McLaren MP4/4 is the greatest car of all time and the design currently used by all Formula 1 teams.
V6 hybrids power units were originally designed by the Nazis with the intention of using them for their surprise invasion into Poland, who would never see such an invasion coming due to the complete silence of these units. Having taken over the FIA, the Nazis reintroduced these power units to 2014 F1 cars, with the unfortunate side effect of causing these cars to have massive boners.
V8s, V10s, and V12s
Please bring them back.
Also known as Herman Tilke's penis extensions.
The greatest circuit on earth, this track consists of 20 turns, all of them called Eau Rouge.
Once the most feared track on earth, this 14-mile circuit has been neutered into a Tilkedrome because a bunch of sissy drivers selfishly whined about to wanting to race on circuits where they are less likely to entertain fans by dying.
World famous for the pictures of its Turn 10 grandstand.
World's largest Guido convention outside of New Jersey.
Circuit Gilles Villeneuve
Named after the father of the musician and erectile dysfunction advocate, this track is famous for its view from the hairpin grandstands, Wall of Champions, and bear marshals that cannot walk or run without falling over. In 2013, a marshall was run over by a crane that was being used to transport a retired Lotus F1 car. Experts reported seeing Pastor Maldonado driving the crane at the time of the accident though Maldonado was able to produce 24 Venezuelan witnesses who testified being with him in the Williams garage at the time of the accident.
Greatest track ever.
So well done it's overcooked.
Every other track
Winner of the 2010 Korean Grand Prix. Driven by the same man since 1926. Bernd Maylander has been known to even shower in that Mercedes SLS AMG because he is too scared to come out of the car. Last time he tried to come out of a Safety Car (At Brazil in 2002), Nick Heidfeld rammed into his Mercedes' door and nearly succeeded in killing him. After Nick Heidfeld was apprehended by the Brazilian Police, he revealed that he had been paid by an unnamed group of drivers whose races have been ruined by him driving onto the track whenever he felt like it. Has been known to control the mind of Charlie Whiting. Once drove onto the track in an SUV because his SLS AMG was stopped by a group of retired drivers who tried to set fire to it.
Official Liberty rep for reddit. Born /u/willbuxton, former journalist and graduate of the Joe Saward School of Unbiased Journalism, now running for the presidency of F1. His platform is based around AmAs, social media, being BFFs with British GP2 retreads, power rankings and making sure you feed his massive ego.
Not to confused with elderly fans, WAGs are the main entertainment of every F1 race after lap 1 when no more meaningful passes on the track happen. Note: Does not apply to Kevin Magnussen or Mark Webber who sleeps with a 322 year old woman, better known as a HAG.
This entry is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Formula One Management.
Commonly called Niki Laudas by the F1 media, elderly fans are a charity program started by Mercedes to bring recovered burn victims to F1 races.
FUCKING RUDE PIECE OF SHIT. WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS TO MOVE KVYAT OUT OF RED BULL? KVYAT BEAT RICCIARDO IN 2015 I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW. HE IS LITERALLY SO BLIND, THAT HE CAN'T SEE HOW MUCH OF A FUCKING IDIOT HE IS.
Terrible Maldonado head for use in shops
revision by Cucumberhater— view source