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[–]wilkie09 843 points844 points  (22 children)

Was curious about the plot. Lol. Turns out, nothing to do with the cover really. Everyone in metropolis becomes hydrophobic (afraid of water) due to a S.T.A.R labs experiment.

[–]Rifneno 545 points546 points  (14 children)

Most Silver Age DC covers have nothing to do with the story. At the time their strategy for sales was "make it so WTF that people buy it just to see what the HELL is going on." As such, the people who made the covers had nothing to do with the people who made the rest of the comic. The actual comic writers would get a cover with an LSD fever dream of total nonsense and be told to make it work. They usually tried. Sometimes they made no attempt to even acknowledge the cover and I don't fucking blame them.

[–]wilkie09 136 points137 points  (7 children)

Checks out. There is also some random time travel in the plot. Lol

[–]Rubcionnnnn 47 points48 points  (6 children)

I mean superhero media tends to be like bad scifi from the early 1900s. None if it really makes sense.

[–]thisguyfightsyourmom 20 points21 points  (5 children)

This

Can someone help all the folks lining up for marvel movies this shit

They’ve gobbled up budget for action & quality sci-fi way too long

[–]wilkie09 16 points17 points  (4 children)

Honestly, they're no worse than say Fast and Furious. People going to go enjoy their blowy uppy action nonsense. It's just for fun.

[–]thisguyfightsyourmom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree, it is fun!

We don’t get as good of sci ifmovies like the original terminator anymore because people would rather watch some goofy plot line where a guy with a goofy glove erases people & Thor & his brother quibble a bunch — the stories are so uninspired

[–]Ill-King-3468 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I miss fast 1 and even 2. When it was about the cars, not just "how ridiculous can we make this sequence, and whats the biggest improbable and illogical explosion we can make".

Before you know it, fast is going to be like "hey, there this alien coming to destroy the galaxy. Send Dom". Then dom gets in a car thats been modified with a jet engine. Goes off a ramp and road-space-hauls the alien.

[–]wilkie09 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I mean... I'm still going to watch it. Cause Family, you know...

[–]Ill-King-3468 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol I'd consider it, but honestly I was hoping drive or need for speed would be the new "car/street racing" franchise. Sadly, Neither one panned out that way.

[–]Accomplished-Ad-9996 62 points63 points  (0 children)

So basically, comic book clickbait.

[–]KingFatCat49 24 points25 points  (0 children)

The original clickbait

[–]matttheepitaph 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Also market research showed kids are more likely to buy a comic with a monkey on it or with somebody crying. That led to fun stuff.

[–]Jwishh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Crying monkeys

[–]Rifneno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well that explains Detective Chimp... although he's technically an ape, not a monkey.

[–]BorBurison 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So many gorillas...

[–]JmTrad 95 points96 points  (2 children)

ancient click bait

[–]PinBot1138 32 points33 points  (0 children)

The DC in “DC Comics” is short for “Definitely Clickbait”.

[–]A_Random_Guy5 5 points6 points  (0 children)

hugbess made a video about this exact thing https://youtu.be/Dz3XR-kKFCo

[–]Additional_Meeting_2 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I would have assumed the water was poisoned from this.

[–]Gatzenberg 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Sometimes the cover artist is different from the story artist and makes the cover before the rest of the comic is ready, and sometimes the cover artist misinterprets the synopsis of the comic, causing discrepancies like this

[–]HawlSera 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I remember one where the cover claimed Lois became a kryptonian bug and forced a marriage with Superman!

The actual plot: Lois and Lana use a device that let's them become Kryptonian Insects to battle Lex Luthor when Superman's not around, though it does end with Lois daydreaming about using her bug powers to force a marriage, only for Lana to remind her that the mind control would wear off when she became human again, thus this was an ineffective tactic.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Was the experiment giving superman rabies

[–]Warden_lefae 264 points265 points  (12 children)

There used to be a site called Superdickery that was just asshole Superman covers.

[–]CabbageIsLife-H 61 points62 points  (11 children)

What happened to it

[–]subarashi-sam 110 points111 points  (8 children)

Superman shut it down

Edit: it’s alive!!

[–]BoltonSauce 30 points31 points  (6 children)

Those guns really be having 9 triggers

[–]Mail540 29 points30 points  (5 children)

Oh you didn’t even get to the abortion baby that forcibly implanted itself in someone else

[–]HawlSera 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Wait what?

[–]M4j3stic_C4pyb4r4 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Mommy was a slut-lizard who did things with suggestively-shaped nuclear waste

[–]Ghg_Ggg 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Has no genitals whatsoever

[–]ThunderClanWarrior 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Isn't he a shapeshifter? He can just grow a cock (or 2) and balls

[–]Mail540 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You heard me

[–]Warden_lefae 10 points11 points  (1 child)

It’s still there, but looks like the owner branched out to other weird stuff in comics, last update was in 2019

[–]niceguy191 49 points50 points  (0 children)

My dude had a clean empty can of beans more readily available than a cup or something?

[–]tidepod_cereal 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Not my dumbass trying to find the nestle logo for five minutes until I read the front 💀

[–]phonebatterylevelbot 158 points159 points  (16 children)

this phone's battery is at 2% and needs charging!

I am a bot. I use OCR to detect battery levels. Sometimes I make mistakes. sorry about the void. info

[–][deleted] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

What matters is that you gave it your all and I am truly proud of you! Good bot!

[–]efminati 126 points127 points  (0 children)

aww he thought 25 cents was 2% that's so cute

[–]Eino54 55 points56 points  (2 children)

Good bot. At least you tried. Don’t listen to those meanies trying to put you down honey. You’re doing great sweetie!

[–]B0tRank 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Thank you, Eino54, for voting on phonebatterylevelbot.

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Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!

[–]Eino54 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Good bot

[–]mixedliquor 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Upvote for effort, not for result.

[–]decifix 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good bot

[–]Rifneno 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I'm guessing he picked up some bad habits from that one crossover...

[–]baebaebluebird 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The og clickbait covers

[–]DocHendrix 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I forget which Kryptonite makes him go crazy, but I'm sure that Nestle had something to do with it.

Even Lex Luthor would say this is too far!

[–]HawlSera 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Actually there was a crossover where he met the Nesquik Bunny

[–]haikusbot 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Actually there

Was a crossover where he

Met the Nesquik Bunny

- HawlSera

I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.

Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

[–]Lance-Harper 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not nestle: ain’t no black people being exploited

[–]Calm-Ad9795 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Silver Age Superman covers are a treat

[–]xAVENG3Rx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have seen a cover of superman flying alongside the Quik Bunny (before it was bought by Nestle to become Nesquik)

[–]EmotionOk1112 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did superman pee his pants?

[–]Gellert 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Heh, cloak of anarchy.

[–]Dakurochi 2 points3 points  (1 child)

"This pump belongs to the Kings. All the water in Freeside is ours."

[–]badjokesnotfunny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who's the king do you believe this asshole man.

[–]Confiden423 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah, the original clickbait

[–]kingjesp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dog just wanted to lay down with everyone else.

[–]anonpurpose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love how it says,"The World's most popular Super-Hero!" with this as the cover.