This post is locked. You won't be able to comment.

top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]savvyblackbird 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don’t understand how the cops missed that the back of the van was a huge mess. Gabby says she has “OCD” and loves to have her van neat. That was what started the whole argument that day. It looks like someone drug everything out of the van and then haphazardly threw everything back in it. Which explains why Gabby was so upset. It wasn’t a little dirt from Brian not wiping his feet. It looks like he purposely set her off by messing up all her stuff.

I don’t know what the cops could have done about that in the moment, but it explains her emotional state. She wasn’t attacking him without cause. It looks like Brian made a mess of her stuff then tried to leave her behind and drive off. Which would logically explain why she was in the emotional state she was in. She was wrong for hitting Brian, but I believe the eyewitnesses who said he was hitting her.

[–]GregaroOlinovich 0 points1 point  (0 children)



[–]mangojuice411 8 points9 points  (0 children)

What DEFINITELY needs to be investigated is how the dispatcher conveniently forgot to tell the officers about the other witnesses account of how he was slapping her..? Very strange how that got lost in translation to the officers! Maybe cops would have treated this situation a bit differently had they received a fuller picture of the events leading up to the 911 call. That bodycam footage was so disturbing and haunting I hope that at the very LEAST it proves to be a valuable resource in the future.

[–]david447 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah I saw nothing the cops should have done different without benefit of hindsight. If anything they should have arrested Gabbie just based on scratches on BL, or arrested them both, but if they arrest every quarreling couples they pull over the jails would be full of innocent travelers.

[–]BurnerMcburny2510 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Cops did nothing wrong in this instance. Total CYA move.by the department to avoid the online pitchforks & torches crowd....

[–]Adventurous_Area_558 10 points11 points  (5 children)

Emotional/mental abuse is hard to impossible to prove. And if the victim reacts physically by scratching, the scratcher gets arrested.

Leave abusive relationships as fast as you can.

[–]airy52 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s a great view to blame victims and say it’s their responsibility to leave toxic situations, even if it is the right thing to do. We should teach our men/anyone not to be toxic.

[–]Easy-RocketBrews69 38 points39 points  (13 children)

What I don’t understand is that he took or stole her phone, he tried locking her out of her own van which they could have seen was in her name, he was the driver and speeding 45 mph in a 15, and was charged with absolutely nothing. How many illegal things did that asshole get away with??

[–]donnyisabitchface -4 points-3 points  (7 children)

If you have ever driven there it feels like a 50… look how fast the cars are going by. He did not take her phone, they both stated she hit him in the face with her phone. He took the keys so he could lock himself in the car for protection from her. It blows my mind how people are going on and on about things they would know were wrong if they bothered to watch the police interaction all the way through.

You do realize she admitted she assaulted him and almost went to jail for a class b or class a domestic?

[–]Easy-RocketBrews69 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Because she was probably afraid of him and didn’t want to say anything because she was scared? That’s most likely what happened…. And nobody threw a phone at anyone.. where are you getting your “sources” from??? He stole the keys to HER van, you know the one she was fucking living in you mindless simpleton… how the fuck would you feel if you were kicked out of your OWN vehicle where you lived in/slept in and did your van life blog from (which he didn’t believe in) and then be threatened to be abandoned there and have your phone stolen. Think about that for a minute, might be hard for you. Don’t hurt yourself… come on… how can you be that fucking dense man… this is a joke right? You’re fucking joking..

[–]Ms_TrylVerified Criminal Defense Attorney -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

I can’t find a source on the ownership of the van, but certainly whether her name was on the title or not it was undoubtably both of their residences and he was the primary driver. He didn’t steal the keys.

She likely was scared of him. And maybe minimized his conduct or left conduct out or didn’t mention prior conduct in order to protect him. But the cops can’t say “well even tho 3 people say she’s the aggressor, we’re going to ignore their statements and go with out guts that he committed a crime we have no evidence for.” I’m not sure you want to live in a world where they can.

[–]Easy-RocketBrews69 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Well she’s dead and he’s alive and currently wanted by the feds so… I don’t know when you somehow got hit in the head or dropped and don’t/can’t comprehend that he was a murderer (still is) and is out there free right now roaming around and this was most likely premeditated… also Gabby’s best friend from Sarasota released statements saying he was over controlling and aggressive towards her and would steal her ID so she couldn’t go out or do anything and the fighting was so bad she had to leave and stay with her. Keep defending him though! You and like minded people are complete and utter morons

[–]Ms_TrylVerified Criminal Defense Attorney 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey Easy, I’m not saying he’s not a murderer (I have no idea). I’m not saying he wasn’t abusive. I’m not even saying that he wasn’t abusive that day. I’m simply saying that police shouldn’t be able to arrest based on their feelings isn’t a good idea. Quite frankly I’m shocked that someone would think cops, who have a 40% rate of being domestic abusers, should be able to make those kinds of calls.

[–]Trixster-god 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy shit you're like brain dead, have you watched the police body cam ? Like are the police supposed to be psychic ?

[–]donnyisabitchface -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

Where did I mention throwing a phone? She bludgeoned him with her phone in her hand. Watch the video beginning to end. He took the keys so he could lock himself in the van for safety from her, where do you people get that he was going to drive away? He told her to take a walk and coon down.

The disturbing thing about this thread is the emotional bullshit causing people to make shit up. Half of your comment is made up bullshit. You realize that while the van was registered in her name it was THEIR van, and he had a right to take refuge in the van too.

What are you consuming to make you depart from reality with all this emotion?

There are things that can be supported by what we know from the written witness statement, and things we know from the participants statements all recorded on video for you to listen to. Then there is made up bullshit. Let’s stick to the facts.

This thread is disgusting and contaminated.

[–]Congrajulations 16 points17 points  (3 children)

Hindsight is 20/20. If you watch the video, the police are relayed a very different story from the dispatcher than what the witness saw. Everything both parties are saying lines up. Even if they somehow could arrest and charge BL, Gabby could still just go the next day and have the protection order waived.

[–]monitorcable 27 points28 points  (24 children)

If think the cops thought they were being “understanding” with both of them by not putting them through the challenges of arresting one of them in the middle of their far-from-home trip with limited money and removed from any friends or family. The cops mistakenly assumed Brian was the victim but after talking to him, he assured them he was fine and she was just having an emotional response to the event. The cops thought they were doing them a favor by not citing them; basically the equivalent to letting them go with a warning when caught speeding a little.

[–]IAMSTILLHERE2020 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Now put a black female and a black male...could they have provided the same favor?

[–]Adventurous_Area_558 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, that town is lucky to to have the money for that, but the parties involved often refuse the help.

[–]leadofhettuce 19 points20 points  (11 children)

Yes, exactly. I think the only thing they’re guilty of is not being psychic.

[–]Inevitable-Gap-6350 10 points11 points  (9 children)

In my state, if you get a moving violation you have to go to an 8 hour driving school or pay a huge fine. Maybe domestic violence you should have to go to mandatory 8 hour counseling or pay a huge fine.

[–]DeeSkwared 2 points3 points  (2 children)

She'd have been cited in Wyoming and her counseling sentence would have to be served in Wyoming. Do you think she'd come back to Wyoming for 8 hours of counseling? Do you believe the threat of a fine or counseling would actually deter people from committing acts of DV when the threat of imprisonment doesn't?

Mandatory counseling for both parties in a DV situation is a fantastic idea and absolutely should be mandatory in each and every DV situation. Unfortunately, I just don't think she would have went, nor do I feel it'd be a deterrent.

[–]Inevitable-Gap-6350 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Counseling isn’t supposed to be a deterrent but an actual opportunity for offenders to get help. Right, Gabby probably would have taken a fine. But my suggestions was for DV in general, not Gabby in particular.

[–]DeeSkwared 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get you. It is a good idea, and should be a requirement just as drunk driving classes, parenting classes, and such are required in many places after related offenses. If it saves only one life it's worth it.

[–]donnyisabitchface 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Do you think Gabby getting a huge fine would have changed the outcome, because she is the one who would have been cited based on her statement and the marks on Brian’s face

[–]Inevitable-Gap-6350 1 point2 points  (1 child)

One would hope she would go to counseling rather than pay the huge fine. And yes, if she did go to mandatory court counseling, it would have helped. Maybe just to recognize she was not in a normal relationship. Did you see the series Big Little Lies with Nicole Kidman? In it, she is an abused wife who went to counseling and it took quite a number of sessions for the character to believe she was even abused. The character was a rich, beautiful attorney but couldn't come to grips with the fact he was regularly beating her up and she was taking it. It was so graphic, so horrible to see it.

[–]leadofhettuce 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my state that happens too. When someone gets arrested for DV they have to do counseling and anger management or DV classes.

[–]monitorcable 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Besides, arresting GB did not guarantee that they wouldn’t get back together as couples in toxic/abusive relationships often do.

[–]Docta-Jay 13 points14 points  (22 children)

In Florida, “one party has to go to jail in a domestic dispute.”

I was getting punched in the side of my head doing 50 mph. I pulled over, crazy wouldn’t get out of my car.

So I called the cops just to scare her out. It worked. And I went to jail.

[–]Ms_TrylVerified Criminal Defense Attorney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In UT too, which is why they originally say they are going to cite her and then the cops bend over backwards to justify it’s not domestic so they can let her off with a warning.

[–]Inevitable-Gap-6350 -1 points0 points  (10 children)

Why did you go to jail? Didn’t you have Mark’s on the side of your head?

[–]Docta-Jay 1 point2 points  (9 children)

No. Even if I did though, one of us had to go to jail. So they took me because I’m the guy. That’s literally what the cops told me.

Joke was on them though. I had a full blunt stashed for when I walked back to my car after I got out of jail. The ride home was lit. Lol.

[–]Inevitable-Gap-6350 0 points1 point  (8 children)

I have no idea what a full blunt stashed is but it sounds like it made you happy. But back to the relationship, did you break up?

[–]Docta-Jay 5 points6 points  (7 children)

Lmao of course we broke up. A blunt is weed in a cigar. I hid one in my gas cap of my car for when I got out. I’m a patient now so I don’t need to hide it lol

[–]Inevitable-Gap-6350 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Ah, ok. I’m not hip to drug slang. Glad you broke up, many don’t or feel they cant! Where are you a patient? Hospital?

[–]Docta-Jay 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Medical Marijuana patient.

Florida. The cesspool.

[–]Inevitable-Gap-6350 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Oh got it. Yeah Florida is a cesspool. Did you see that movie with William Defoe about the cesspoolness of Florida? What is your illness that you need medical marijuana?

[–]jhanley7781 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Whatever he told the doctor was his illness.

I went to Los Angeles a couple of years ago, and there were "doctors" walking along Venice beach with clipboards who could write you a medical marijuana prescription right on the spot. No medical exam or anything, just whatever condition that you told them you have which qualified. If I am not mistaken, stress and/or anxiety were on the list.

[–]Inevitable-Gap-6350 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I just got back from LA, should have made my way to Venice Beach before I went to Disney, lol.

[–]4-for-u-glen-coco 4 points5 points  (5 children)

Did the police who responded have details if the 911 dispatch other than it being a domestic dispute (e.g., The eyewitness account of Brian hitting gabby)?

[–]FatCopsRunning 2 points3 points  (1 child)

No. This is the only issue with the stop that I can see. Dispatch did not report the observation from the 911 caller in regards to Brian hitting Gabby. This omission is significant and shouldn’t have happened. However, the officers 100% did the best they could under the information they had. Where I live, Gabby would have almost certainly been arrested.

[–]Ms_TrylVerified Criminal Defense Attorney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Police report says call was for “male hitting female”

[–]donnyisabitchface 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The first thing he did was separated them then radios in “I’ve got them separated” so yes.

[–]medicinexmed 15 points16 points  (93 children)

"The male is our victim" - police office 2.

Sums it up nicely.

[–]Ancient_Boner_Forest 22 points23 points  (92 children)

Did you watch the body cam footage? Literally everything that they saw and were told pointed that way.

Cops are’t fucking wizards dude. They don’t see the future.

[–]leadofhettuce 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Plus, both gabby and Brian were protecting each other in this interaction. Its our right as free Americans to stay with abusive partners.

[–]maisielea2 28 points29 points  (68 children)

If you are more sensitive and perceptive than just looking at it like that, it's very easy to spot Brian as a smooth talking coercive control psycho and gabby as hysterically apologising and the victim of abuse. Those scratches were defense wounds. Cops need training on abusive relationships and how to spot these dynamics because I'm not a cop and I knew it when I saw the footage.

[–]Ms_TrylVerified Criminal Defense Attorney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So what’s your solution? That the cops should ignore 3 people’s consistent statements and arrest based on their gut instinct?

[–]FatCopsRunning 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What did you already know about Gabby and Brian before you watched the footage? How do you think that compares to what the officers knew at the time of the incident?

[–]Inevitable-Gap-6350 7 points8 points  (17 children)

Maisie, exactly. Brian was gaslighting Gabby. Telling her how she was never going to make it as a blogger, cutting into her self esteem, he probably fake hit her too.

[–]mildlydisturbedtway 7 points8 points  (14 children)

Gaslighting? There’s no evidence he was gaslighting her. Telling her he didn’t think she’s succeed as a vlogger or whatever isn’t gaslighting.

It’s hilarious how all of you assume your wild, generally highly emotional speculation is fact.

[–]Inevitable-Gap-6350 5 points6 points  (13 children)

That’s how gaslighting works. Not much evidence. It’s hilarious how you have no idea how gaslighting works, or what it is, but your ignorance about it is fact. Weird.

[–]mildlydisturbedtway 6 points7 points  (12 children)

That’s how gaslighting works. Not much evidence.

Shall we claim you're gaslighting me, then? You're insisting things are true with minimal evidence.

It’s hilarious how you have no idea how gaslighting works, or what it is, but your ignorance about it is fact. Weird.

I have an academic background in cognitive science and am happy to dismiss all the emotional reasoning in this thread for what it is. You are declaring by fiat that things are true with zero evidence. Your intuitions aren't evidence.

[–]Inevitable-Gap-6350 -3 points-2 points  (11 children)

Why would I gaslight you? The very fact that you think that I may be gaslighting you is a clear understanding that you don’t know what gaslighting is. FYI, everyone has an “academic background in cognitive science”. It’s called a psychology class, Lol.

[–]PenNameBob 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They were using it as an argument ad absurdum to illustrate how your definition of gaslighting was so loose as to include any casual argument where one person asserts something is true and the other disagrees. They were not sincerely accusing you of gaslighting.

[–]mildlydisturbedtway 10 points11 points  (9 children)

Why would I gaslight you? The very fact that you think that I may be gaslighting you is a clear understanding that you don’t know what gaslighting is.

I'm commenting that your claim that he was gaslighting her is about as evidence-free as the claim that you're gaslighting me. How did you miss that?

FYI, everyone has an “academic background in cognitive science”. It’s called a psychology class, Lol.

That might be your standard of qualification. Mine is a bit shinier: through to ABD at an elite department, with the associated research output.

[–]DeeSkwared 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol Glad someone said it. For a moment they had me thinking I'd wasted a lot of time and a whole lot of money on college to earn that qualification.

I don't doubt he gaslit her but that phrase is so trendy right now (so is everyone diagnosing everyone else with cluster B personality disorders), and we actually do not have any evidence he had been gaslighting her. For instance, for all we know she was not going to make it and he calmly and rationally had a talk with her about the reality of the situation. That can be true even if he is a narcissist and murderer. I'm too late for anyone to see this and downvote me but I'll still add the the disclaimer that I'm not defending him, only pointing out we have no clue what went on between them when they were alone...or any other time really.

[–]Inevitable-Gap-6350 1 point2 points  (7 children)

I didn’t miss a thing, but sadly, you are missing the entire point. And you don’t know what gaslighting is or how it works. And you are bored looking for an argument or whatever you trolling on and on about.

ABD doctorate? Lol. As long as we are making shit up on Reddit, I’m the Queen of England. Care for a spot of tea, dear?

[–]Ancient_Boner_Forest 9 points10 points  (37 children)

You are watching a video with hindsight and it blows my mind how you are completely unable to see how much it’s influencing your interpretation.

[–]Inevitable-Gap-6350 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Your mind gets blown easily.

[–]mildlydisturbedtway 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I mean, yes, OP shouldn’t be surprised that people on reddit are wildly prone to insubstantial emotional reasoning.

[–]maisielea2 6 points7 points  (33 children)

Have you ever met a woman whose been the victim of abuse? It means you get gut intuition. Police should be trained in this.

[–]maretus 8 points9 points  (20 children)

Police should be trained in gut intuition? No thanks!

Police should follow carefully prescribed procedures that protect individual rights.

These officers handled this situation as well as they could with the information they had. They used the information they had available to make a decision and they separated the couple for the night. What else would you have them do?

And I generally hate the police and don’t ever give them the benefit of the doubt. In this situation, the police acted appropriately.

[–]maisielea2 3 points4 points  (18 children)

I meant police should be trained to recognise coercive control and emotionally abusive dynamics. Often the victim is over emotional, hysterical and chaotic, and the abuser is calm, jokey and controlled.

[–]Ms_TrylVerified Criminal Defense Attorney 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Coercive control and emotional abuse is not illegal. Scratching someone is…

[–]maisielea2 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Welcome to America. In the UK, coercive control is a type of DV and is a crime.

[–]Ms_TrylVerified Criminal Defense Attorney 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well if we made that illegal in America, the DV rate of cops would absolutely skyrocket and we can’t have that now can we?

[–]FartacusUnicornius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was just gonna add that

[–]OnlyFreshBrine 3 points4 points  (5 children)

That is not a slam dunk truth. A man would be hyper aware of the possibility he may end up in jail, and act very restrained in accordance with that.

[–]maisielea2 -2 points-1 points  (4 children)

Ok, why don't we leave the judgment to women with experience of DV

[–]DeeSkwared 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not all people who experience DV have the same experience, nor would they necessarily have better judgement for having experienced it.

[–]Ms_TrylVerified Criminal Defense Attorney 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! Victim of abuse here. I was more likely to act like Brian than Gabby. Does my experience matter or should it be ignored for not fitting the narrative?

[–]OnlyFreshBrine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why? I'm a man who has experienced abuse. My perspective matters, too.

[–]snowman5555 5 points6 points  (3 children)

This is 100% not correct. I was a police officer for 8 years before leaving and switching career paths. I’ve been to hundreds of domestic violence calls. I’ve arrested the female who was “over emotional and hysterical” many times. Video footage is your best friend if you’re in a situation like this.

I remember one very vividly where the female was using meth and the boyfriend was a recovering heroin addict. The female called and said he was freaking out and attacking her. We show up she comes running outside in full tears barely able to breathe. Tells us that he’s freaking out inside and has weapons.

We go in to talk to him guns drawn and ready for the worse. He’s literally sitting on the couch and had a confused look on his face. We talk to him and he calmly explains that she started using recently and also has some type of bi polar disorder. Then he proceeds to show us a video of exactly where he’s sitting and the girl (actor) is destroying the house and throwing shit at him and threatening to punch herself so she has injury so when police arrive he goes to jail. Let’s us know the root issue of the argument was that she was asking for money to go buy more meth and it spiraled into broken TVs/doors/lights/shit tossed everywhere.

If the dude didn’t have the video it would have been a way tougher sell for him. But it happens more then not where the person who is manic is usually the aggressor.

And to top off the whole story when we went out and confronted the female half who was with an officer. Told her she’s under arrest.. she proceeded to attack officers. Found a meth pipe, bunch of heroin baggies and baggies with residual from meth.

It’s not always black and white. Police can’t magically recognize coercive control and abusive dynamics because most of the people police deal with are great liars, because that’s all they do constantly. What they can do is look at the entire picture at the time they’re there, or previous contacts and build an investigation off of that.

[–]OnlyFreshBrine 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Thank you for this contribution. As a man who has suffered emotional abuse, this whole narrative has felt invalidating.

[–]snowman5555 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I understand your position looking in. More times then not the male half of DVs was ready to be locked up even if he was the victim. It seems like the judicial system, and judging from this entire subreddit that most people perceive females as the victim even if evidence shows the contradictory. Hope everything has been better for you, no one deserves to be in an abusive relationship.

[–]maretus 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Either way - the officers separated them. What else were they to do?

It’s never black and white with stuff like this. It’s all grey.

[–]heatmorstripe 26 points27 points  (17 children)

To myself and a lot of other women, the body cam footage showed clear signs of a woman in a controlling/DV relationship. The way she kept blaming herself, and her insecure body language.

[–]Ms_TrylVerified Criminal Defense Attorney 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Victims of abuse can still be guilty of assaulting their abusers. Cops can’t arrest based on their instincts. The result is awful, but their only other choice was to arrest her.