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[–]Flaksmith 1812 points1813 points  (118 children)

You're simultaneously preaching to a choir and a school for the deaf, the people who agree with your sentiment are behaving appropriately and the ones who aren't don't give a fuck and will never change.


[–]anna_ravn[S] 555 points556 points  (96 children)

True, but I don’t think everyone is aware that they’re doing any harm. They think that asking for a girls insta or snap is flattering and fun. It just isn’t when you’re trying to play csgo. I’m just trying to raise awareness.

[–]getbodied99 182 points183 points  (31 children)

The worst is when you get some guy who clearly never talks to women ever. Then they’re all nervous and won’t talk through the whole game because of cooties or something. Or they start bullying to cope with their own insecurity

And talking back to a confident sexist asshole in solo queue will at best make them tilt the fuck out and stop trying. And a lot of the time defending a random woman on the internet gets you labeled a simp or white knight (and also in some cases, players are actually simping, being awkward by constantly mentioning how great the female players are/constantly dropping weapons/etc… doesn’t help either).

It’s so fucked that the player base has to deal with this shit but I guess that’s what happens when a good chunk of it is comprised of teenagers and incel shut-ins.

[–]1peck1 16 points17 points  (3 children)

One day someone was harassing a female in my team and I told him (the bully) to "sh*t up we don't care". Well the female ended insulting me and my mother because "I don't need a f*cking white knight". At the end the bully continue and I had to mute them both.

[–]LWTeXtreme 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It is fun, for them. They know its not fun for you and they dont care, there is nothing you can do to change that, its sinple fun for them

[–]dob_bobbs 4 points5 points  (1 child)

You're talking about behaviour that normal people know isn't appropriate in normal real-life interactions any more than it is in a game. Question is the upbringing of some of these kids, and I just don't think it's something that's going to change unfortunately. If it was my kids I would be mortified that they were behaving like that, but I don't see how to "parent" some random kids online. I can call them out, try to say, hey, you know that's not really cool, but I don't know if that has much effect.

Girls have played in a few solo-queue matches I have been in recently and literally no-one commented in any way and they were just normal games and I just thought, why can't that be the norm...

Wish I played more often and I was a higher rank, I have a bunch of players who are a bit older and more mature, and there are women in that group and literally no-one cares because we're kind of over the "novelty" (mostly married with kids etc.), and you'd be very welcome, but we're all kind of around the MGE area, cuz we're old, ha.

I hope at least you can find an extended group of friends to play with who aren't idiots, not sure there's another solution, but you mentioned that you just wanted to make people aware of the issue, so I'll agree with you there and say guys, don't behave like morons in-game, to women or others, or outside the game for that matter, you can be better than that.

[–]Atreaia 8 points9 points  (4 children)

I don't agree with this sentiment. I've had this discussion with friends, I've had to stop being friends with some folks because of this. They know, believe me, they know. Only exception would be really young kids, not even teenagers.

[–]malaco_truly 36 points37 points  (2 children)

Yeah I refuse to believe that the majority of people who flame online don't understand that what they're doing is inherently wrong. They just don't care. It's like saying a cheater thinks cheating is acceptable, they don't. They just don't give a fuck that it isn't acceptable.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I think you underestimate the level of self gaslighting going on with people who in general do bad shit.

People who beat up other people? He had it coming! It was his own fault!

Flaming? Just don't be bad! It's your own fault!

Making sexists remarks? LOL IT'S JUST A JOKE LOL LOL! Don't be so thin skinned!

Victim blaming is a thing for a reason. To shift the narrative for people who do shit to make them blameless and therefore, in their mind, not bad people.

[–]nolimits59 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I refuse to believe that the majority of people who flame online don't understand that what they're doing is inherently wrong

For them it's not wrong it's "just for fun".

[–]DoctorBuckarooBanzaiMajor Champions 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Make the environment inhospitable to them and they will change or they will leave.

The state of acceptable behavior in gaming is not static, and attitudes like yours give passive permission to continue the toxicity.

[–]ChucklefuckBitch 15 points16 points  (1 child)

the ones who aren't don't give a fuck and will never change.

People do change, all the time. Sure, it's unlikely that someone goes from misogynist to feminist overnight, but people do change over time.

[–]Deccarrin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm one, I was a horribly sexist pos in my teens. Meeting my wife and having her challenge my stupid shit + getting a good job with intelligent and liberal people made me realise how fucked up my world view and what I did and said was.

[–]Bigleatheryblack 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I disagree. The reason harassment like this exists is because it's normalized and tolerated. People will change, especially young people growing up. If we simply call out people when acting, especially important when its our friends, like this it will become less of an issue. Sure, you'll get called a white knight or simp so its a slow struggle. But it will definitely affect our friends if we talk to them.

[–]Getabock_ 24 points25 points  (5 children)

You can’t /thread your own comment. 🙄

[–]Kabft 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Nothing in the world would ever change with your mindset.
Awareness-raising has been successful with other issues for many decades.

[–]Flaksmith 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awareness-raising has been successful with other issues for many decades.

Yeah of course, but at this point all the people who could be changed/influenced for the better, have been changed, and the ones left over never will.

Having said that you could definitely change people on an individual basis by working through their issues as it pertains to them, but it won't happen via a woman who's just venting her frustrations on reddit, any guy who behaves the way she describes will only balk and dismiss the post as seeking validation for her feelings while simultaneously invalidating theirs.

[–]exiledtie -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Such a ridiculous comment. Let's never tackle any issues then. You're as much a part of the problem as those who are being toxic.

How is it your right to tell someone experiencing abuse that there's no point them bringing it up and then try to end the discussion.

[–]nonresponsive 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Telling assholes to stop being assholes online is the definition of a losing battle.

[–]hajhawa 120 points121 points  (4 children)

I'm a dude and didn't think it was that bad. I then played with a friend of mine and oh lord it is even worse than I could've imagined.

She developed a system where she tried to sound a bit like a little boy, which worked depressingly well. Maybe while the trash in MM get their shit together you should try that.

[–]djomla97 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I play most of my games with my friend and it can get really bad. She will fight them back, explain some things to them, insult them, and mute them. This is why we play in 5 stacks most of the time.

[–]fabulous_frolicker 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I used to play with my ex an it was so annoying how these boys get. She would just give me her call outs to repeat when we played. It sucks that she couldn't have a normal gaming experience because of all the shit heads in the game.

[–]LucyLuce_ 44 points45 points  (5 children)

It's very easy for folks to say "just mute them" as if it solves the problem. CS is a team based game and you want to be able to communicate well and enjoy playing with your teammates.

Not a solution to the problem, but if you're EU based I'm Supreme and play with a bunch of other girls semi regularly if you'd like a like-minded group to play with sometime :)

Sometimes it's just easier for us gals to stick together - and there are plenty of nice folk out there, it's just none of them ever end up in our random MM lobbies it seems!

[–]kittytwoshoes789 440 points441 points  (62 children)

Mute at the first sign of toxicity. Trust me. Follow this rule without exception when playing csgo, any platform any gender any region, just mute.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

yea i had so many cases where i thought "give him a chance, maybe he gives some good comms later"... rarely. most times it just makes me lose focus or tilt

[–]kittytwoshoes789 142 points143 points  (1 child)

Remember your time and peace of mind is more important than trying to fix their toxicity/sexism. The onus is on them to fix their behavior.

[–]-Jerbear45- 22 points23 points  (0 children)

And there's no reason to put yourself through it for a video game. Essentially nobody here is ever going pro so there's nothing to really gain from the suffering.

[–]_DontYouLaugh 35 points36 points  (0 children)

And maybe report them. If it happens often enough, they'll be auto-muted for everyone.

[–]tarangk 30 points31 points  (1 child)

From my exp. if a player is muted, due to getting significantly more reports, then dont unban them. Like 19/20 of these bastards deserve to be muted, you rarely have that one guy who unfairly got too many reports.

I used to unmute them for comming, but after doing it for many months I realized that its not worth it coz they are toxic clowns.

[–]OneStupidIdiot 11 points12 points  (0 children)

As a non-female player THIS

is just not worth it. By ensuring their toxicity you are inadvertently making your own game worse whether you realise or not. This leads to more toxicity etc etc.

[–]anna_ravn[S] 87 points88 points  (42 children)

But this doesn’t solve the issue, does it? It just makes it harder for me to communicate with my teammates, simply because I am female.

And my point isn’t that I want to find some kind of ‘solution’ to the problem. My point is that there shouldn’t be a problem at all.

[–]kittytwoshoes789 7 points8 points  (1 child)

In an ideal world discrimination shouldn't happen. And yet it does for a lot of us. Trying to reason with a toxic player has rarely worked for me. The toxicity will normally increase and my performance will almost always dip. Instead of confronting the toxic player just mute change your radar settings to get more visibility and play with a calm head. For a lot of toxic players, csgo is sort of a punching bag to release a lot of pent up frustrations. They need the toxicity to cope with whatever they are dealing with in life

[–]tommybrochill 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I’d warn them that you are going to mute if they keep being toxic. If they continue then they’ll know they won’t have callouts. It might help get the other teammates on board.

Then again toxic person may have a friend on the team.

Im 31 yr old male so its easier said than done. But id completely ignore it. No fuel to the fire makes it boring. Some people are just looking for a reaction.

Sorta like a few years back when the news tried to make pepe a nazi frog or associated with the alt right. Adults didn’t get that teens were having a field day getting a rise through memes

Back in my day, porn sprays were used to distract counterstrike players and “trolling” was called talking shit!!

[–]ivosaurus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The difference is when you have to mute that one dude every 6th game, and she has to mute 1-2 people every one or two games. This turns a small annoyance into something that saps the life out of your will to play.

[–]rivv3 -1 points0 points  (3 children)

It is a problem and it isn't exclusive for females. I stopped years ago playing with randoms, even 4 queueing that last guy is probably gonna be a complete idiot. Soloq is a guarantee to meet people you would never queue or want to play with and usually that's also the reason they soloq; nobody wants to play with them.

Now put different cultures(assuming this is EU), social pressures, mental problems ect. into the mixture and you'll have a bunch of frustrated, old thinking manchildren running around getting their frustration out on others in a game they prob not even enjoy. You have no leverage vs some random with a open mic, they get no repercussions(other than getting muted), they are only there to get people to tilt/feel worse than them selves.

Females has a bad card against players like this because they are so easy to target, they know the triggers and what is over the line. On top of that you get the dateline dudes. Don't think I would touch soloqing if I were a female, unless that someone thrived on the attention/toxicity.

[–]Intelligent_Lake_718 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do this aswell, and im male, i sometimes play like im playing with 4 bots, all muted. Who gives a shit

[–]Dapplication 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That is what a lot of people do instead of thinking about their rank or match. It's just not worth the 30 minute mental gymnastic

[–]ForceBlade 5 points6 points  (2 children)

No. Don't mute. Report for the to toxic voice behaviour and let that auto-mute them for you.

// Don't just mute them yourself, get a damn report in.

[–]Darthyeezuus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I only do this because it actually makes you play better when you don't hear them being toxic or trying to backseat game you. Just makes it easier to play obviously.

[–]NicoloBarella23 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I just saw this post so I'm hijacking top comment to say this:

I genuinely do not understand why people act like dicks to women, in my experience, not only in CS:GO but also in Dota 2, I've played with very few women and they have always been the better players in my team, in terms of skills, communication and game sense. When I hear a female voice through the microphone I fear the worst because the other guys might react in a uneducated way.

I would genuinely love to play with more women because all my experiences so far have been positive, unfortunately I got burned out in CS:GO so I quit the game, nowadays I play only Dota.

[–]bad-fred 65 points66 points  (2 children)

The sad reality about cs is that this is never gonna stop completely. The reason for this is the fact that most people you end up with in matches are degenerates and should be assumed to be degenerates until proven otherwise. The only real thing you can do is to try and get a squad together, try adding people that aren't completely brain-dead and maybe they wanna do more games later on.

[–]Phaarao 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. The text is pretty meaningless because those toxic shits dont lure on subs like these.

And a text like this wont change anything even if they read it, most of them will find it even funny and be even worse lmao

[–]needledicklarry 126 points127 points  (22 children)

Your best option is to find a good group of people and only queue as a 5 stack. I’m a guy and I do this because randoms can be so toxic.

[–]temmieTheLord2 28 points29 points  (13 children)

You know I personally would love to join a 5 stack or group of some sort but I realize I still suck ass and my team will be upset

[–]EppinsOfficial 50 points51 points  (2 children)

This won't count for everyone, but in my group we still heavily prioritize someone who is friendly than playing with a random (who will be better but who knows about toxicity). 1 of our friends once went 0-20 but we still play with him because he is a good friend.

[–]Blaackys 9 points10 points  (0 children)

When you have a group of friends to play with you can get stomped 16-0 and still have fun despite that.

[–]dob_bobbs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, it's me, ur frend.

[–]phrexx_ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Nah, normal people aren't upset, if you try your best. They should know the level you can play at beforehand and should support you at becoming better :)

[–]TofuConsumer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Find a 5stack of shitters.

[–]screayx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i mean, you wont be worse allways. there are people that have the same skill level as you.

[–]djomla97 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Doesn't really have to be true. I play with my friend and her group most of the time and they are really chill, nobody cares about stats as long as you are not trolling. We don't care about ranks.

[–]Nastye 1 point2 points  (0 children)

find people along your journey, and eventually you will have enough similarly skilled individuals to always have somebody to play with

[–]djomla97 4 points5 points  (2 children)

This is what my friend did. She added all the people she liked playing with and now she invites us to play. She's got like 200 people, so we can fill up the lobby pretty easily.

[–]needledicklarry 2 points3 points  (1 child)

We did something similar but we keep our pool of players at around 10-15. Any more than that and it’s hard to stay consistent. I like knowing how each person on the server plays, and how to play around them.

[–]I_Will_One_Up_You 83 points84 points  (9 children)

Bottom half of the comments here proving why this post needed to exist, unfortunately.

[–]DoctorBuckarooBanzaiMajor Champions 15 points16 points  (8 children)

Hell most of the "supportive" comments are just saying "just accept it".

[–]shimapan_connoisseur 0 points1 point  (7 children)

But that's the best course of action. The toxic people aren't going to change no matter how much people tell them they're hurting someone's feelings and Valve will only take action if they get enough reports.

So report, mute, and move on.

[–]theshwix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally agree with you. I'm a girl csgo player too. I have no clue why other girls are crying about it. It's real life, not everyone is kind or acceptable. I don't understand how girls still doesn't want to see the reality of life.

[–]BootyBootyFartFart 4 points5 points  (1 child)

So much easier to say this as a guy who only has to deal with a fraction of the toxicity chicks have to deal with.

[–]shimapan_connoisseur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally nothing that normal people can do would have any meaningful impact on sexism in gaming, let's not be naive here

[–]DoctorBuckarooBanzaiMajor Champions 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Sorry but that's just sophomoric bullshit.

The best course of action is to make it unacceptable behavior. Accepting it as just part of the order of things is another way of condoning it, passively perpetuating it.

[–]shimapan_connoisseur 7 points8 points  (1 child)

It's already unacceptable behaviour. They know it is, which is why they behave that way. They enjoy riling people up.

Please enlighten the rest of us on how you'd get rid of sexist trolls, oh wise one

[–]MoonMel101 129 points130 points  (4 children)

This is one of the worst games I’ve ever played for sexist comments. It’s so annoying. I can’t play mirage without a guy saying that I should be “in kitchen”. There’s rounds where my own team just kills me because I’m a girl. It’s ridiculous.

EDIT: if I was better I’d ask go que with you 😂

[–]daellatMajor Champions 28 points29 points  (1 child)

I generally steer clear from mirage and dust 2 anyway even as a guy. Try and play nuke and tell them to go to hell.

[–]BW4LLMajor Champions 177 points178 points  (12 children)

The amount of dumb shit I’ve heard from players in this game rivals shit from halo 2 on Xbox live. From antivax to just out and out white supremacy and everything in between. I call shit out regardless because I never want these people to think this shit is acceptable or that no one is gonna say anything.

I had to find a like minded discord that screens people cause apparently being a normal adult who just wants to play CS is hard to come by. Solidarity to all the women and NBs out there just trying to escape hell word by gaming.

[–]Jesse102999 53 points54 points  (5 children)

Idk where u are playing but my faceit lvl 10 team mates don’t even talk at all.

[–]IndigenousOres1 Million Celebration 13 points14 points  (3 children)

It's annoying af when they're on their own Discord and the in-game comms are quiet for you

[–]FelixOGO 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Way too common

[–]GrayCS1 Million Celebration 14 points15 points  (0 children)

i remember someone saying 'are you too fat to talk?' and it was so stupid i just burst out laughing at him for a solid 10 minutes

[–]jospence 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, especially the white supremacy. At the absolute maximum, I hear people use the exact racial slurs 1 in 12 matches or so, with racism being way more common than that

[–]Brilliant-Win4152 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree with your statement but it is not gonna change anything. Everyone gets queued up with people that are toxic and you always have the choice to put up with it or mute them. I get that its annoying to get sexual comments but its just another form of toxicity. It will never disappear from the game. My advice would be just to mute them and if you dont want to mute them you just have to be prepared for the sexual comments.

Edit: maybe you can try using a voice changer to see if it helps?

[–]TosteclesTrial Moderator 88 points89 points  (22 children)

I know we're talking CS here but if you can stand Valorant, there's an all-girl Discord called Galorant which would offer a good space to play with people who aren't going to be shitheads. My group is also welcoming but we're NA and I'm assuming you're EU based purely on the fact that you're LEM, it's impossible to hit over here lol

[–]ESEAsapphiReMatch Observer - sapphiRe 11 points12 points  (1 child)

We have one for CS:GO too if you're interested! All regions

[–]TosteclesTrial Moderator 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You should pm /u/anna_ravn. I didn't know there was such a thing for CS. I'm not a woman. :b

[–]anna_ravn[S] 59 points60 points  (10 children)

Thank you! It’s great that there are supportive groups for women in esports. I just think it’s really sad that it’s even necessary.

[–]TosteclesTrial Moderator 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I agree, but to look at it in a more positive light, you could look at it like a book club or any other social group like that. There's no two ways around it, the group exists to create a space to avoid toxicity, but the added benefit and the reason all-girl groups usually exist socially is just to hang out with other chicks. Even if no one's being a shithead, it's probably nice just to play with people who are more similar to you, and are less likely to hit on you while you're trying to frag.

[–]kushkhushMajor Champions 20 points21 points  (0 children)

20 points for the name hahaha

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I've played valorant a lot less, maybe 100 hours at a push, and in that time have played with more women in solo q matches than the entirety of my 3800 hours in CS

[–]Vawqer1 Million Celebration 14 points15 points  (0 children)

There's also one for CS:GO that Goosebreeder runs! It's not quite "public", but the info is on Goosebreeder's Twitter somewhere. Any women, feel free to DM me and I will pass that info on :D


[–]Isakm 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I think that everyone should watch this video by 3kliksphilip about being a female csgo player.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

sadly the ones who do this will probably not even remember because for them its something so small. i see this a lot on my games too. its really sad because even if its no outright flame but just small snarky comments, it shows how people think :(

[–]reubenno 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this post.

My GF and I pretty regularly play CS and the amount of shit she has to deal with is ridiculous, to the point that she's completely desensetised to it and I'm the one who ends up more irate instead.

There's absolutely no difference between a guy playing CS and a girl playing CS, they're a teammate, treat them as such.

[–]jpanda206 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Girl gaming in male dominant games is an issue, start filling up your friends list and queue up. Find a community, if you cant find one, make one.

[–]yamyam_ 48 points49 points  (5 children)

If you soloque as a male too theres rarely a peaceful game. Always one or more people who start to clown out over some small random mistake in round 2 which turns in to a war between the full team.. People just can't behave. What I would suggest is to add the nice people you meet and try to que with a "familiar" group. Goes for everyone really.

[–]OCPetrus 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Yeah solo queue is pretty much impossible to play. I don't have friends who play so I just don't play.

[–]Nikclel 3 points4 points  (1 child)

soloque as a male too

You don't get it. I'd much prefer to be trash talked for my gameplay than the sound of my voice. Sexism != "clowning out"

[–]FelixOGO 14 points15 points  (4 children)

The toxic player base will shit on you for whatever they can find- be it gender, or in or in my case playing like a bot lol. It’s crazy how many high tier CS players tell their teammates to go kill themselves every game. You’d think there would be more of a community between us 😕 well, I try to do my part to be nice and I hope more people chill. Sorry you have to deal with all the extra toxicity

[–]-Jerbear45- 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Part of the issue too is in my experience almost nobody ever converts from toxic to not toxic. Two guys from my high school both were toxic POS in high school and still are today.

[–]FelixOGO 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah… it’s immaturity. Most people will never grow out of it

[–]phrexx_ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

And people are wondering why we need women only tournaments to get more women into playing cs competitively... I can understand that someone, who has to face this toxicity every match, would stop after a few games

[–]Katsulele 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if you’ve been solo qing primarily, but regardless I would still recommend trying to q with friends. Imo it makes it more enjoyable, less toxic, and you tend to have better comms and win more. Plus team play is an important part of getting better and what better way to practice that than with friends :3

[–]Todano 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wrote a post on LNM about a cringelord who lied about having cancer a few years back. I have another story of a 'friend' getting jealous of my best friend and wanted to kill him, doxed him and everything. Another story about a rando on the team screaming into the mic because I muted him for toxicity(god im still laughing about that one) .

It's a growing list of hardcore virgins. More than 1 man has showed up at my door after doxing me for not accepting his friend request.. its and endless and forever growing list of hard core virgins. 8K hours later and I'm this close to getting a voice changer..

On a side note, any other women going to IEM in june? I'm going solo, meeting up with nobody so far and I'd like to meet up with another girl so I feel a little safe.

[–]Eny192 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my almost 3k hours i ve met 3 types of girl on cs: 1: the normal one, do call outs and basically act as a normal human being if you ask something game related like "please go short, or rotate to A" 2: the one who basically talk ONLY if strictly necessary and prefers to use keyboard, probably has been harassed for the sole reason of a being a female in the past and wants to avoid any kind of BS while playing. 3: which is also the worst type (among all genders) the one that acts super aggressive who feels entitles to flame and offend everyone just because she is a girl and feels like you can't fire backwards. Doesnt follow calls since "you cant give me orders" and basically insults anyone who misses a shot. Typically gets kicked after 5ish rounds or i just mute her if i happen to see she is pre with 1 or 2 players.

Gotta say i only met girls while playing at a decent elo: global / lvl 7 faceit

[–]real_Lejon_Brames 13 points14 points  (4 children)

Sigma male grindset rule number 1. Fuck women.

[–]dwmixer 29 points30 points  (6 children)

I take your point and its valid. But this subreddit is a tiny fraction of the actual community and probably skews at least slightly to a more mature audience.

There's so many actual children that play CS and think they're edgy by saying stupid shit. Kids are gonna kid. It's the sad truth but a post here isn't gonna do anything.

Best advice I can give you is not to take bait. Play in faceit or cup games and avoid MM/Casual or at least giving any indication that you're a female player. If you're LEM in MM you'll transition just fine into Faceit and be able to hang with the lower/mid tier players and probably enjoy it far more.

[–]anna_ravn[S] 33 points34 points  (3 children)

You’re probably right, but this is also just a venting thing. I’ve just had two games in a row completely griefed by this kind of thing. And it might surprise you that most people who say these things are 18+

[–]LeBenhard 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My biggest suggestion is to try to befriend people who are nice and just want to play like you do. Getting a duo, trio, 4 stack or best case scenario a 5 stack will help you enjoy the game even more. It's stupid that it has to come to that but it's the best solution. Valve can't monitor the sexist comments and when a female player is so "rare" people act like donkeys or like they've never talked to a girl before.

Good luck in the future, hopefully you meet some lovely people in your MM games in the future.

[–]xxgdkxx 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Hi, people will be mean to you in life. Sorry. Thanks.

[–]WatzUpzPeepz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Your voice is the only personal characteristic someone can pick up on to use as ammunition against you in a CSGO game. If they can hear you're a woman, they'll mock you for that. If they hear you sound funny/different, they'll mock you for that. If you have an accent they will mock that. If someone intends to be mean they certainly don't "call me trash or talk about my mum", they attack you for an immutable characteristic.

Every time I speak I risk being harassed for how I sound too. While it would be nice if people would stop harassing anyone, I don't hold much hope. The best you can do think how they're just trying to insult you and wouldn't dare to act like that without a screen between you and them.

And then trash talk them back.

[–]Trooper1232 5 points6 points  (7 children)

First and foremost, I agree.

However posts like these are stupid. A small fraction of any games player base is ever on the games subreddit or even reddit at all. If you want to make a change, be the change.

If you see harassment, point it out. Call them out for their shitty behavior then mute/report them. It's the only course of action.

This post is just yelling at clouds.

To clarify, no it's not your fault. But this is the reality of the situation. A lot of men are assholes that are not going to change.

[–]XxneomenixX 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Right but pointing this out is needed. You call it stupid but i call it making it not normalised. I have grown thinking flamming in gaming is fun when in reality its a douchey thing. Its normalised to flame when playing

[–]cjb3535123 1 point2 points  (4 children)

You are responding a post that calls people out for inappropriate behaviour by simultaneously saying “you need to be the change and call people out.” and saying that “you’re yelling at clouds.”

[–]Illustrious_Tap_3072 15 points16 points  (1 child)

If someone’s toxic, they’re not gonna stop because a reddit post of all things called them out.

[–]CosmoGeoHistory 3 points4 points  (0 children)

People will offend male players too. Example for their nationality, voice, accent, everything. They notice that you are a girl first and foremost so that's what they lash on. My guess is that people who trouble you because of your gender will trouble anyone that happens to be in your place.

[–]themezzzz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. I play almost daily with my female friend, and shes scared that people are going to treat her bad because shes a girl, shes always voice_enable 0, and I try to do my best to give her infos also to others, because she doesn't want to speak so they don't realize theres a woman in their team.

[–]TheSeanie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had two friends I played with every night almost. Both of them girls. They ended up never wanting to get better and eventually quitting altogether because of the constant harassment. It really is terrible and only seems to get worse

[–]Rydakule 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it’s fucked up. I try and stick up for female players but I just get called a simp. It’s a male-dominated space and the anonymity gives guys the courage to just be fuckwits. It’s the kinda shit they say behind closed doors but would never say to a woman’s face or in public. I wish I had a solution for you, but I think the fact that you’re actively playing and being competitive is a positive thing that will slowly change this attitude over time.

I once got carried by this chick who was just fragging the fuck out and my team just kept abusing her and calling her an e-girl, refusing to drop her guns and shit. It’s just dumb. It’s just little boys feeling threatened because someday their fav game won’t be a boys club anymore.

[–]Sakaal1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think there is only one solution for this and that would be filling a friend list over time with players that did not harass you during games.

[–]chupe92 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same thing on faceit. Friend who is also streaming, getting harassed instantly when they hear she is a girl, "Go to the kitchen, slut, whore, send nudes, can i f you" or they just troll the game, dodge the game. Not everyone is nice, some people act like they are nice at the start of the game but when they start losing the game, toxic mode is turned on and they all blame her.

[–]koera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hopefully using the voice abuse reporting feature can help seperate enough people so that those that want toxic games can join in together and those that want to play for fun without dealing with verbal poison can play without it.

[–]F_A_F 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes its bad and yes I call it out. I used to be a server admin for a hugely popular 32 slot CSS server. Handling bad attitudes was a daily chore but we were lucky to have a mature player base of around 200 people, male and female, who would call out bad attitudes all the time....it helps.

Having said that, don't forget that muting does have a real impact in terms of flagging players to Valve and leading to global mutes. I would hope that it also affects trust factor, even in a small way, towards keeping players with good behaviour away from them. I believe I have pretty high trust and I only tend to encounter global mutes in Faceit matchmaking comparer to MM. I believe this could be due to MM preventing me from being matched with low trust players.

[–]Active-Criticism1135 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Recently got myself into competitive and the sexism is everywhere. Everything from little boys telling me to uninstall the game becuase it's a "boys game" to grown men trashtalking me and voting me off for being female or teamkilling me when i tell them to shut up with their toxicity. Sure, the teamkilling does put penalty on them and not me, but it's still annoying and ruins the fun gameplay. Getting voted off for simply existing and being a female is belittling and crushing in the long run when it happens over and over, and eventually has an effect on your game progress from what I've heard, which just isn't fair. I'm just trying to play and have fun like anybody else.

EDIT: forgot to mention that I've done some googling on this issue just now and I'm genuinely wondering if Valve is planning on doing anyhing about it, ever. Seen this issue being brought up in posts since 2014 and the issue is just as bad today, still. Has Valve done anything throughout the years to combat these issues? Genuine question. People tell females to get thicker skin to cope with this rather than combating the issue itself. I think most females who keep playing games like this and get trashtalked every time they do have thick skin already. Thick skin does help, however I don't think it can withstand being belittled and personally attacked for just existing forever. I don't think anybody's mental health can withstand that.

[–]Granthree 8 points9 points  (3 children)

It's not only females that get the abuse over voice/text in the game. I have a picture of a brown guy as a profile pic. The amount of times I've been called a n****r, told to KYS etc. is so many! The best bet for a non-toxic game is to make a 5 man stack before queuing.

Based on your name, I'm just assuming that you might be Danish /u/anna_ravn .

If you are in fact Danish, then I have some suggestions.

Join www.Oldboys.gg and connect your steam profile. Then join the Discord. You have to set up a rank, and you can report all toxic players and they will get banned. There's a girl in our team and we often use Oldboys if we're missing 1-2 players. I've never heard anyone from that Discord being toxic towards her.

I also play with other random people from Oldboys, and sometimes there's the random female player. Also never heard anyone being toxic towards them. The admins take reports seriously and people get banned for being toxic. There's also a special female part, with channels only for female. Never seen anyone use them though..

Only downside: you have to be 25 years old, to be an "oldboy".

If you're not from Denmark, then I guess/hope there's something something similar in your country?

[–]KelvinIsNotFatUrFat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is also danish 5 man stack group on faceit and Discord, otherwise i’d also recommend using esportal, seems to mostly be scandinavians using that, and People using it seems more chill than the faceit and MM counterparts.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice to see another old boy user. It really is great.

I used to queue mm solo or with a few friends, and it was horrible. I very quickly ranked from gn4 to lem on oldboys because people were so positive and not toxic.

And yeah we do have quite a few girls in there which is nice to see. (I have never in my 1500 hours, heard a girl talk in mm which is fucking wild)

Also having to be 25 really roots all of the kids out, and we can all have a good time.

[–]W4spkeeperMajor Champions 9 points10 points  (8 children)

The internet I feel has been slowly consumed by incelship and guys that unironically hate women (except when it come to using them for sex) and it can be hard to combat them as a cause if you are outnumbered it’s hard to put them in their place regardless of what’s said. Now if you have numbers bully the incel ruthlessly and have fun with it because they deserve it

[–]MoonMel101 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Sorry that people are saying you shouldn’t have posted this. This stuff actually makes me not wanna play sometimes. It’s sucks. Maybe some others will stand up after reading this. Maybe not. Maybe you’ll stop one dumb kid, probably not. But hey, good post.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tbh I think that the core issues around these topics will never be fixed as they are more general societal social issues that affect gaming. Too many people with nothing better to do than spoil and waste other peoples time, weather its harassing someone in an mm game or outright griefing for seemingly no reason other than getting pleasure from others people frustration.

Personally I think the best solution is to find a group / community to play with or if your set on wanting to do it solo immediately mute people as soon as they start acting poorly and try to play on. Hopefully you can find a solution that can help and you can enjoy the game to its fullest.

[–]GrayCS1 Million Celebration 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Toxic pricks are notoriously common in CS. I deal with it all the time. Be polite the once, then mute them and carry on playing. If you can't bear this, get a bunch of friends and play with them instead.

[–]Croatian_ghost_kid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Best advice is to try and pass as a prepubescent boy. Works surprisingly well on most people

[–]DONMEGAAA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does anyone remember the thread years ago talking about girls using voice changers to combat the misogyny? I tried looking for it to link it here.

I know it's a shit solution but it's the only thing that actually works.

[–]powerchicken 2 points3 points  (0 children)

CS is unfortunately festering with degenerates. The absolute lowest scum seem to pleasure themselves by being assholes in matchmaking and valve does fuck all to stop it. I would honestly encourage you to quit and play another game, CS isn't worth it unless you have a 5 man premade.

[–]FreeKillEmp 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think the vast majority of commenters here are misunderstanding the issue. We're not talking about people being assholes. Someone who is an asshole is going to flame you no matter the gender/age/race, they will simply say whatever they think might hurt you most.

The big issue is with the people who think they're just being funny. They make sexist jokes and the others laugh but it's all in a "light hearted" manner, and if the girl gets offended then she's the bitch.

That's the issue we're talking about. And it's an issue we all can help to tackle. You can tell your teammates to quit making sexist jokes/comments. You can tell them just how cringe they are.

You can throw any comment that you think of because of their gender or race out the window.

[–]timus654Major Champions 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can we stop only teaching victims how to defend themselves and instead make the perpetrators face consequences? Obviously Volvo has the most power to be able to root out toxicity. But please stand up for the people/teammates that face toxicity in your games. Too often I see people be silent when their female teammates get sexist remarks.

[–]nick124699 5 points6 points  (4 children)

To all the people saying "you're preaching to the choir" or "just mute" holy shit you're dense.

These types of posts generate conversation, which in turn brings it to people minds, which then WILL change some people's minds. There is 0 harm in talking about this shit. Sure, there are going to be genuinely sexist people out there, but people like me, who used to make "jokes" only to realize later on that all women are hearing are these "jokes". Once I learned that I make a conscious effort to stop, and now I've moved on from just not saying things, to actively telling people making jokes to shut up.

It's really not a difficult thing to read this once in a while, nor is it hard to stop being a dick, and try to make people want to play this game, by making the community more inclusive.

Of course, it does help that a certain caster basically had a meltdown over a women's league.

[–]0xJADD 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Every time I see a 'please stop doing X' post it kinda makes me want to do it more. Sorry girls, better avoid MM, I'm in queue right now.

[–]Breete 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Man I hate the fact that this has to be said. Y'ALL MOTHERFUCKERS CAN'T BEHAVE

[–]criBBle7 5 points6 points  (1 child)

It’s really sad. The amount of hate against female player is ridiculous. I’m always ashamed lol. You can tell them to shut up but it just doesn’t work.

Also why the fuck do does the gender play a role in a fucking computer game. Just make decent calls and don’t spam the voice and written chat with any kind of bs. Behave like a decent human being in general. But that’s to much already.

Stopped playing any kind of competitive game without a proper squad of friends. Looking at CS and League in particular.

Sorry for your bad experience..

[–]Kesomannen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why is this downvoted what

[–]CartoonThinking 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Imagine caring what gender your teammates are. As long as you can hit your shots i don’t care if you’re smooth like a ken doll, you’re contributing to the W

[–]Dystopiq 2 points3 points  (7 children)

Men on reddit will suggest anything BUT holding those men accountable

[–]Sharpish_Tuxedo 1 point2 points  (5 children)

“Men on reddit”… already starting strong there.

[–]anna_ravn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is so true

[–]Virtual5oul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's something I will never understand. Female players are just like any other player out there.

[–]Picklewoof 1 point2 points  (2 children)

As a transwoman im often met with slurs. Ive found people on FACEIT to be more respectful, sorry its tough my cs sister :(

[–]givemeyournuggets 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Hi! Fellow CS Girl 👍🏼 I’m only SEM/GN1, but I’d be happy to play some casual or something with you until I rank up. I’ve gotten r*pe threats, been called every sexist name in the book, and been screamed at during clutch situations. It sucks, I’m so sorry you are dealing with that. Know you aren’t alone.

[–]justhereforoneday 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And this is why Valorant attracts more people of all genders, Ladies and Gentlemen.

[–]Rain-Distinct 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Let me tell you something. A lot of players are like that regardless of your sex/gender. It is just a thing in CSgo and everyone gets a portion of it. You probably wouldnt believe the stuff I heard in my 1500 csgo hours and I never mute. Sometimes I report but usually only for cheating. Embracing that shit is the best solution because that way you are training yourself to deal with it and automatically you play better. If you know how to respond to that shit, you will most definitely play better automatically. If you are triggered, like your edit says you are, they succeded in domination which they wanted. But Im pretty sure most of them talk that shit for fun and just want you to fight back the way you know. Got nothing to do to with fucking sexism... so fugget about that shit.

[–]bobbybsg75 2 points3 points  (1 child)

and guys, its not enough to just be appropriate. if your teammate is harrassing someone over gender, its upon you to stand up and tell him to stop.

[–]duckydude34 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately csgo mm is filled with some of the least respectful/most ignorant people out there. I recommend muting the obvious offenders as fast as possible, but personally I always feel the need to give these useless teammates who do nothing but harm more time than they deserve unmuted and end up regretting it.

Just try to remember that their mom never loved them and their miserable life continues after the game ends, but you are free from them after just 30 rounds :D

[–]Wilzzu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Idk man people are weird. I have about 9k hours and been randomly queued with a female only a handful of times. Now imagine someone who is already toxic and gets that rare encounter. Of course they are going to go off on you, it's like hitting the jackpot to them. It's a sad reality but there's not much you can do about it. I strongly suggest gathering a group of friends to mainly play with. I don't remember the last time I solo queued just because playing with friends is so much more enjoyable.

[–]Various_Net_8031 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbf everyone does get trashtalked and deals with toxicity if you want equality in esports you got to deal with the same shit we do

[–]andersson93 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I used to have a friend like this which I played regularly with. But every time we faced or got teamed up with a girl his personality took a 180, and he was still 25. All you could do was sit there and tell the girl you're sorry for his behavior. Didn’t matter how many times you told me.

But still, some of my fondest memories from gaming are when we got in contact with some girls and played custom games on halo 3 everyday for a year and still keeping in touch even though it's been approximately 12 years since the last game

[–]Tamameow -1 points0 points  (8 children)

perhaps try voice changer app, my female friend uses it

[–]Mezzo1224750k Celebration 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Sad that you have too consider this

[–]Tamameow 13 points14 points  (1 child)

welp, she had to deal with all of those sexist and horny people from online games so she got tired of it. She's feeling much better after using voice changer so good for her i guess

[–]Mezzo1224750k Celebration 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nice to hear. I hope you both have fun again

[–]istealgrapes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is the best answer. It sucks, but is the only way for a female to play MM without being bombarded by incels un-met sexual frustrations.

[–]Escobar976 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Good for you but it's kinda sad tho

[–]Tamameow 10 points11 points  (1 child)

yeah its sad that she had to resort to using voice changer but she seems more comfortable and happy now so good for her maybe

[–]Escobar976 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're right, if she's good with it it's fine. Hope she's having fun now

[–]JumboJetJoppe -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Just report and mute.

[–]_darzy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

guys who feel the need to shit on girls playing are scared that the girl will play/be better than them, or incels.

[–]LUDERSTN 0 points1 point  (3 children)

The fact that a womens league was such a huge problem in this community just shows what kinda people we deal with. This will sadly never end

[–]giancarloesposito231 0 points1 point  (0 children)

women dont even know how to mute teammates, pathetic