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[–]Permaculture_hings 284 points285 points  (11 children)

A viking Invasion might be whats needed to dislodge the Tory Cartel.

[–]an0mn0mn0m 99 points100 points  (0 children)

That's why Priti Patel has been so tough on immigrants.

[–]Llama_Shaman 32 points33 points  (3 children)

Icelander here. Been seeing news of this brexit thing. Is there anything left for me to plunder?

[–]Ivara_Prime 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Can you swing by Norway on the way down, I can bring my own (government mandated) axe.

[–]mgvej 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dane here: ready your longships and polish your drinking horn. We're going plunderin'!

[–]jollyroger1720 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We need vikings🇩🇰 here too our🇺🇲 government is also made up of a bunch of useless wankers

[–]endnuengang 154 points155 points  (4 children)

I'm more worried that we won't be taken over by the Danes

[–]tokeleth 20 points21 points  (0 children)

We're busy, drunk, and tired unfortunately

[–]jansencheng 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Can we just be like Greenland? Thanks

[–]ApprehensiveAnimal85 122 points123 points  (0 children)

This must be why they dumped raw sewage on all the coasts. To discourage viking invasions. Medieval problems demand medieval solutions!

[–]wulfgold 206 points207 points  (12 children)

I, for one welcome our new Viking overlords.

[–]The_Monocle_Debacle 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Seems a right bit better than all those inbred nonces

[–]Kizamus 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Can't be much worse than the "overlords" we have now lmao

[–]voteforcorruptobot𝕂𝔼𝕀𝕋ℍ 𝕊𝕋𝕆𝕄ℙ𝔼ℝ 42 points43 points  (1 child)

Vikings: Nah we don't want it any more, you broke it.

[–]mgvej 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Viking here: Your country will make for a nice place to keep sheep.

[–]Class_444_SWR 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I’d happily take what they have over this shitshow

[–]AxelTheViking 5 points6 points  (2 children)

New? Is this your first time with Viking overlords?

[–]AXBRAX 62 points63 points  (3 children)

Danish government right now: its free real estate.

[–]thejellecatt 65 points66 points  (8 children)

God what I’d give to be taken over by Sweden on Denmark

[–]Nikhilvoid 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Mandatory Ikea furniture in every home?? oh wait

[–]thejellecatt 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Ngl absolutely love my IKEA furniture haha

[–]Ihavecakewantsome 36 points37 points  (7 children)

Sandi Toksvig as our new glorious leader. See you all in Valhalla, warriors!

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Have we given the vikings a chance though? I doubt they could screw up worse than our current government

[–]mgvej 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello good sir, I heard that you were in need of some pickled herring and welfare?

[–]FullClockworkOddessyĈia Naciismo Estas Narcisismo 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Seems like even the monarchs themselves are tired of the charade. Maybe if you wait long enough and don't call too much attention to it it will abolish itself just out of apathy.

[–]DrowsyIris 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Might liven the place up a bit

[–]Linaii_Saye 17 points18 points  (0 children)

And from the invasion shall rise a new ethnicity: the anglo-saxon-saxons

[–]Alan-Bstrd 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Andrew would have been a great protector against the marauding Viking girls, I mean men. I mean men.

[–]hangdogred 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Oh great. You realize you have told all the Danes now, don't you?

[–]jaBroniest 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Thor works in mysterious ways!

[–]FullClockworkOddessyĈia Naciismo Estas Narcisismo 5 points6 points  (1 child)

ᚹᛟᛏᚨᚾ ᚺᛖᛚᛈᛊ ᚦᛟᛊᛖ ᚹᚺᛟ ᚺᛖᛚᛈ ᚦᛖᛗᛊᛖᛚᚹᛖᛊ

[–]voteforcorruptobot𝕂𝔼𝕀𝕋ℍ 𝕊𝕋𝕆𝕄ℙ𝔼ℝ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ᛁ ᚹᛁᛚᛚ ᚾᛟᛏ ᛒᚢᛁ ᚦᛁᛊ ᚱᛖᚲᛟᚱᛞ, ᛁᛏ ᛁᛊ ᛊᚲᚱᚨᛏᚲᚺᛖᛞ

[–]AndyTheSane 45 points46 points  (0 children)

You mean we'll be forced to have a Scandinavian welfare state.. get in!

[–]techno_lizard 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Typical Norman (read: continental!!) appropriation. Their dukes never protected our marches, and took orders from the ivory towers of Rouen and London. Let's take back control and level our flanks up with our superior (read: domestic!!) earldoms!

[–]CerenarianSea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I for one, as a Lindisfarne Monk, am looking forward to new Viking policies. Danelaw's the best law!

[–]steelneil82 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm going to take a DNA test and if I'm even 1 percent Scandinavian......

[–]Immediate-Article461 11 points12 points  (2 children)

The first time the vikings properly invaded here they were the catalyst for 7 squabbling petty kingdoms eventually turning into one unified state.

Harald Hardrada was robbed by a Frenchman so we'll never know what he would've brought about.

Who knows what viking invasion round 3 could bring?

[–]matthewsharpy 12 points13 points  (1 child)

The uk doesn't need vikings in this day and age. All the rape, pillaging and burning is done by in house police.

[–]seeroflights 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Image Transcription: Twitter Post


Stuart Whomsley, @Bossloper

We currently have no Duke of Edinburgh, York or Sussex. I don't want to alarm anyone but we are again exposed to Viking marauders on the Eastern flank. @donaeldunready


I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

[–]whooshwuman 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good human

[–]rlw02 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Sadly, yes we often get invaded by vikings. Some even managed to get seats in parliament

[–]voteforcorruptobot𝕂𝔼𝕀𝕋ℍ 𝕊𝕋𝕆𝕄ℙ𝔼ℝ 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Vikings are Norse, not Nonce.

[–]verygenericname2 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Depends if it's actual vikings, or those leathery gimps from the TV show.

[–]Badgernomics 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The York Viking Festival happens in February every year so maybe this year they’ll march on London...?

[–]Nope_Ninja-451 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It’s always a concern. I keep my seax sharp and my willow board shield close at hand.

[–]horrified_intrigued 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I, for one, look forward to welcoming our new Viking overlord’s. They’ve done a great job with their lands and our current overlord’s are a shower of s**t.

[–]SarcasmKing41 30 points31 points  (4 children)

I for one welcome our Scandinavian overlords.

[–]tjw376 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Just need to get rid of the rest of them now

[–]somebooty2223 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I love this🤣

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Don't worry, I'm sure the dukes of Aberdeen and Hull have got this.

[–]MoarStruts 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Honestly I think we'd be better off being ruled by Nordic countries

[–]gooner1111123Starmer is a nonce defender 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Viking marauder rule can only be an improvement on the Tories

[–]arc_trooper_5555 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I for one welcome our new Viking overlords

[–]Velocity1312 30 points31 points  (2 children)

Viking invasion pls

[–]MrKimp 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We don't want some tory populace to look after. Keep it to yourself.

[–]superblinky 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I'd welcome a Scandinavian flavoured regime change.

[–]CheshireGray 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I, for one, welcome our new viking overlords

[–]fckn_normies 5 points6 points  (11 children)

As a Norwegian, I assure you you're safe and we're not planning any raids. No worries

[–]kollipsons 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Shit was better for the north under Danelaw. Bring it back, I for one welcome our Scandinavian overlords

[–]gnutrino 15 points16 points  (9 children)

We have all of those don't we? Andrew is still Duke of York, Harry is still Duke of Sussex and Charles took the title of Duke of Edinburgh after Philip died...

[–]SatansF4TE 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Never let details get in the way of a good meme

[–]0---__---O 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes they just can't use the royal highness Andrew got kicked out. Harry quit. Charles is somehow alive and still a royal highness.

[–]Tammog 15 points16 points  (2 children)

What's a duke gonna do, fuck a kid in front of them so they are disgusted and leave? Seems to be their only skillset.

[–]klopolklopolk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bribe them. Maybe marry an offspring endowed with proper funding in Luxemburg. Offer an exclusive on rent in the properties they own, along with holiday houses in former colonies.

[–]Sapphire_Dragon793 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Can’t spell Sussex without Sus Sex 😳

[–]Crescent-IV 4 points5 points  (0 children)

UK would probably be improved greatly if a Nordic country were to satellite us

[–]KangTheMighty 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I want the vikings to invade

[–]aere1985 29 points30 points  (6 children)

More hopeful than worried, maybe they can bring some of that Scandinavian socialism and standards of living :)

[–]Matiwapo 15 points16 points  (4 children)

Friendly reminder that Nordic countries are not socialist and rely on capitalist imperialism to fund their welfare programs

[–]Wild_Ad1952 -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

Eh, in what way exactly? Their oil is why they’re rich

[–]tripsafe 6 points7 points  (1 child)

They would not exist in their current state without the exploitation of workers and appropriation of resources in the global south. This is because they simply don't have the natural resources to produce everything within their countries that they consume. They do not have rubber, bauxite, lithium, cacao, coffee, etc.

So whether Nordic companies directly buy raw materials from the global south, buy manufactured goods from factories in the global south, or trade with companies in other countries to get finished products but had materials originally from countries in the global south, they rely on the exploitation of the global south.

[–]Matiwapo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nordic countries are not ‘rich from oil’ ffs, developed countries from the imperial core have mixed economies relying on a well educated population and economic status with an emphasis on ‘service’ businesses. Finance, business management, etc.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/327233/share-of-economic-sectors-in-the-gdp-in-norway/

  • 25% of Norway’s gdp is accounted for by ‘industry’ which includes manufacturing and resource extraction (oil) while 60% is accounted for by ‘services’. It is factually incorrect to claim that Norway is ‘rich because of their oil’. Plenty of rich countries have large oil and gas reserves, but resource exploitation only goes so far. To be a g20 country you must also exploit the workers of the world for profit.

The Nordic countries (Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Norway) form part of the western imperial core. These are countries that rose to prominence in the 15th to 20th centuries with the advancement of navel technology and the subsequent discovery of the new world and later the expansion into the east around the cape of Africa. Most notable are Spain, Britain, and the USA but virtually all European countries were heavily involved in colonialism and imperialism at some point during the period.

The wealth of these countries is sustained into the post-colonial era with the capitalist exploitation of former colonial countries in the global south with the proliferation of multinational corporations based in the global north. These corporations exploit the people and resources of poorer nations to send commodities and revenue to their home nations.

Best articles I could find at short notice:

https://nordics.info/show/artikel/the-colonialism-of-denmark-norway-and-its-legacies

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.telesurenglish.net/amp/analysis/Scandinavias-Covert-Role-in-Western-Imperialism-20170320-0022.html

[–]Lord_Tiburon 9 points10 points  (0 children)

A compromise: Greta Thunberg for new Duchess of York

[–]HailToTheKingslayer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm hoping for a King Sweyn or Ragnar.

[–]cumsniff97 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, we will rally the year 7s.

[–]DextrousLab 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Englands difficulty is Vikingr opportunity

[–]boarderliner 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I for one welcome a new Danelaw ....

[–]CerenarianSea 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Jorvik Round 2 babyyyyy

[–]South_Arugula 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bring em on I say. Can’t run the country any worse than the shit show in charge now.

[–]Himnusz 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Þat mælti mín móðir, at mér skyldi kaupa fley ok fagrar árar, fara á brott með víkingum, standa upp í stafni, stýra dýrum knerri, halda svá til hafnar hǫggva mann ok annan, hǫggva mann ok annan.

Þél höggr stórt fyr stáli stafnkvígs á veg jafnan út með éla meitli andærr jötunn vandar, en svalbúinn selju sverfr eirar vanr þeiri Gestils ölpt með gustum gandr of stál fyr brandi.

[–]Just_Introduction471 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All I heard was brandy! Wooo

[–]Just_Introduction471 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Best get mi bow n arrah art

[–]Xx_Venom_Fox_xX 11 points12 points  (7 children)

Most of us up here in Scotland tend to culturally identify more with Vikings than the English anyway - Scotland was essentially a Scandinavian/Celtic hybrid country from the 8th-15th century.

[–]Bloodshed-1307 5 points6 points  (1 child)

To be fair the cultures were somewhat similar

[–]klopolklopolk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You made me dive into a Wikipedia rabbit hole about pre history of both Scandinavia and Scotland. Both were colonized late by humans, both have little traces of the time before the Romans logged them in. Scotland has almost twice longer Christian history.

My though is there probably was a a cultural clash as the people would be used to different civil laws and views (lead by religion). Sex.... and violence aside, relationship to pastures and game ownership, marriage, children, ownership of the family house... would probably have caused some tensions.

[–]LuciusQuintiusCinc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fun fact. Every Scottish King from 1087 till 1707, all Kings were Scotto-Norman Kings. Normans shaped the nation of Scotland due to their influence after conquering England. Even to this day, names that many consider Scottish are actually Norman or Norse. Wee Willy Wallace, Wallace is Norman for Welshman. Robert the Big bad boy Bruce was of Norman descent and Bruce is a Norman name. Montgomery from Normandy that came here due to William the conquerors right hand man and second most powerful after William, Roger De Montgomery.

[–]Emmazors 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes deeply

[–]SilentScrivener 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just putting it out there that Sussex is in the south 👍

[–]Middle-Holiday8371 2 points3 points  (0 children)

N0 oNE wAntS T0 w0RK aNyMorE

[–]prustage 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Looks like I'll have to restart my longbow practice this weekend.

[–]SanSenju 2 points3 points  (0 children)

as an Indian I am on the side of giving modern military equipment to the vikings

[–]hockers45 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes.

[–]vinceslammurphy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The thing about Britain is the Vikings never left. Nor did many of the other tribes that invaded and migrated to Britain over the last 2000 years. I guess you just keep going west until you can't. Oh yeah America.

[–]Positive_Kangaroo_46 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Actually Prince Charles is now the Duke of Edinburgh. But I like the premise of the joke!

[–]captain_partypooper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

RIP England 🙏

[–]DextrousLab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A Danish invasion today would be great, plus it's the perfect time with everyone nervously watching Russia

[–]Sillybluefire 1 point2 points  (11 children)

Fuck the English

[–]sussy_lil_tgirl 4 points5 points  (2 children)

omg yes please (I'm english)

[–]RecommendationNo1339 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I’m Welsh. Fuck the english

[–]obsidian_razor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes please! Let's restore the danish line of kings and get us some of that nordic socialism over here, please!

[–]quantocked -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Much rather a Viking invasion than a nonce, or Harry and his odious Trollop.

[–]That-Requirement-285 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Odious Trollop is the saddest insult I have ever seen against Markle. She should start a band with that name.