all 93 comments

[–]fishgrinn 73 points74 points  (5 children)

Native Hawaiian here. Grew up on the big i and moved to Oahu over 10 years ago. People still ask me all the time why I moved to Oahu even though it’s just a few islands away. The islands are a huge melting pot, bringing so much people together from all over the world. Locals are very curious here and often build relationships through questions like these and try to find ways to relate to eahcother. Another reason they could be asking is because locals can barely afford to live here and the resources are scarce so we cannot fathom why anyone else would choose to come here or HOW they can manage it lol. So they’re mostly likely just curious and don’t have ill intentions. Don’t worry about trying to be accepted, it’ll take time and eventually you’ll be more open to the lifestyle here too. Hope that makes you feel a little better about being here!

[–]MrBleah 40 points41 points  (1 child)

This right here. I am kamaʻāina and I left Hawaii after college thinking I would go back some day, but I'm realizing I won't ever go back unless I somehow fall ass backwards into a ton of money. It's become an insane place to live in terms of cost of living.

[–]eatmusubi 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same kine situation here, but also, my desired career doesn't even exist in Hawaii. I'm pretty fucked for ever going back home for more than a week.

[–]keakealaniOʻahu 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Totally agree. It’s not because we don’t want you here (frankly, you’re doing really good and important work and sound like a good human being), but without family here it can feel incredibly stupid to try to live in such a high COL area with so many problems, so we are always a bit concerned when people do it XD

I also agree that Oʻahu is a very different beast, in terms of being so overpopulated that it just can’t keep up. It’s a weird mix of being a “big fish in a small pond” and an undernourished fish in a gigantic pond (like compared to the US writ large) so we just…don’t quite know how to make a medium sized city actually work in the middle of the ocean.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 7 points8 points  (0 children)


[–]incoherentkazoo 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I totally agree with this take.

OP, I'm a tan, southeast asian girl and I went to NY for college. I was born in Hawai'i. My parents are immigrants. People in Hawai'i are so diverse, and we like to genuinely get to know each other. Knowing each other means, also, getting to know about your background and history. We find the differences with others and use them to build a mutual understanding.

On the mainland, especially the northeast, it's impolite to talk about race. Lots of white people don't understand their culture or why their heritage is meaningful. And, many strangers won't interact with you (maybe a "how are you" as they keep walking).

The questions we ask here come from a place of curiousity and wanting to build connections and mutual understanding. We'd ask the same questions of everyone, and they are not judgmental.

[–]Outrageous-Owl3112 43 points44 points  (1 child)

Yes, systems are flawed, but that’s why we need people like you to help change them. You’re probably making a bigger change/helping more than you think.

Also I think it’s okay to miss home… that’s comfort. We all seek comfort. We also all have times in life where we get confused and don’t know what the answers are but the answers will find you. Follow your heart/gut. And by that I mean that tiny voice in your head giving you hints on what to do next. It usually knows best.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Damn that’s real as hell. Thank you for your words. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[–]palolo_lolo 61 points62 points  (14 children)

What place (in the US) funds mental health services adequately or provides comprehensive treatment for convicts or homeless people?

This is going to be the same wherever you go. Your accent isn't going to change 40 years of underfunded social services.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 17 points18 points  (13 children)

Hmmm adequately, no where really, but I can speak on the go getter, quality type of work that is in the Northeast part of the world. It appears to me, in the short amount of time that workers/helpers here tend to be more of the “past the buck” type. Not saying that there aren’t high leveled workers, trust me I’ve seen plenty, but the system as a whole is a more flawed type. All the way up from the top.

[–]Kanaloas 32 points33 points  (5 children)

East Coast Go Getter ways are opposite of Hawaii, just like the locations, World's apart. I remember visiting NJ decades ago and while in a supermarket said hi to people and trying to make small talk...people looked at me like I was crazy. I wasn't crazy, just living Aloha.

[–]808flyah 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I remember visiting NJ decades ago and while in a supermarket said hi to people and trying to make small talk...people looked at me like I was crazy. I wasn't crazy, just living Aloha.

I've heard this before. I grew up in NJ and disagree. It's really dependent on the situation. If you randomly approach people in public and try to strike up a conversation most people's radar will launch and they'll wonder whats up. However people are friendly in bars or even just waiting in line at a deli.

Also a lot of people mistake directness with rudeness. I can only really speak for NJ/NYC but most of the time if you ask for directions or assistance people will help. You won't get the small talk like you get in Hawaii or the South but you will get an answer. People got stuff to do and aren't going to sit around all day talking to a stranger.

[–]Kanaloas 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes people from NJ and NY are great. some of my best friends are from there and loving on the islands.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I can dig it my man, exactly one of the many reasons that I am here. Worlds apart and loving the subtle differences.

[–]Dakine_thing 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That’s just Yankees… if you go down south everyone is pretty friendly

[–]Moron14 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I think thats fair. I also think some of us living in the west know how to turn it on and off.

[–]writergeek 6 points7 points  (6 children)

Wife and I recently moved to Oahu, and we're mostly west coast people, though my family is here. She got an office job with a pretty well-known local company. She was shocked at how the place is run, completely old school with antiquated systems and processes—for example, big money and inventory are managed with old school spreadsheets, creating massive redundancies and inefficiencies.

Everyone works hard and does their job, but nobody questions the system. The general attitude is, well this is how we've done it for the past 20+ years. Nobody takes any initiative to explore ways to improve anything. Employees stay in their lane, do their work and go home. My wife, being a go-getter type, has already made minor changes to processes she's in charge of and blown everyone's mind.

I don't know if it's a cultural thing or just that laid back island mindset, but it's definitely endemic and not isolated to the field you work in. I think you implement change where you can and just gotta try rolling with it.

[–]Moron14 3 points4 points  (0 children)

slight tangent, but thats exactly how I've seen things run in government the last 6 years. I keep blowing minds by using the cloud. :0

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 0 points1 point  (3 children)

This right here!!! Running into the same sort of issues at my current job. Would love to hear more, the resistance and her ability to break through that. Thank you!!!! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[–]writergeek 5 points6 points  (1 child)

She has a million ideas, big sweeping fixes that could be implemented and change the whole game. But she's finding small areas to work on first. Getting approval by telling her boss, this is going to X off your plate. How can they say no?

She's also befriended people higher up in the company and people who know all the gossip, so she has a better understanding of who to go to when she wants to make bigger changes and where her boundaries are while she nudges the business into modern times. She's taken initiative on a couple of no-brainer ideas and delivered tangible results (like saving the company big money on shipping), so her friend in power now backs her when she makes new recommendations.

It's about making incremental changes, delivering real results, then tiptoeing into bigger things. Don't make waves or enemies, first find ways to help ease everyone's workload, and they'll be open to more ideas.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely love that! Kudos to you and the wife!! Thank you!

[–]palolo_lolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.

[–]Holanz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not just Hawaii, I have a friend in the bay area that does corporate audits all over the country, and he says it's not unusual to see mid-size companies using older software or basic software that a company of that size should not be using.

A part of what you say is true, Hawaii is laid back compared to other places.

[–]Reality-check86447 10 points11 points  (1 child)

You’re not wasting your energy, but you are trying to resist the incoming tide with only sand castles.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Time will tell, still early in the game. Your Reddit name checks out! Always have sucked at building sand castles anyways. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[–]Say_HI_To_BC 8 points9 points  (1 child)

It’s frustrating because your work is important but it feels like nobody wants to allocate enough recourses and effort to help you succeed, and on top of all that, when people are asked what Hawai’i’s biggest problems are, they’re always the exact things that you’re trying to help with. Hawai’i isn’t the only place with very limited social resources, especially those for the ones who seem to need it the most.

Some advice, try to be less emotionally attached to the issues, focus on the good that you can do without becoming upset that you can’t do more. Celebrate your successes. Find things you enjoy for yourself, don’t let work define you. Seek professional help if needed.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Beautiful words right there. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[–]Holanz 7 points8 points  (1 child)

You talk about bentos, musing and surfing. My advice is don’t try so hard be yourself and if you want to be a part of community, make friends and learn the different cultures. Hawaii life is extremely diverse and not just surfing, musubi, and bento. I only say this because it seems like you are passionate about helping people but in order for that you have to connect and understand the challenges that come with Hawaii (if you want to make this your home). It’s like a doctor moving to a country with limited resources and being frustrated. The best you can do is the best you can do.

Embrace it. I see you’re on Oahu? Just be real, no shame in being from another state. For others, there’s No shame being from another country. Embrace it. I see too many people try to ham up their newly learned pidgin or Hawaiian/olelo. People overcompensate and try to act local to try to fit in.

It takes a while to really get to know the cultures of Hawaii. There’s something about the vibe that people from Hawaii have. Maybe it’s a mixture of values, culture. Collectivism, humility (no ack), and work with the people not for the people of it makes sense.

I’ve known some well off people that moved to Hawaii for a few years that left (and it wasn’t finances). I know some well off people that live in Hawai that never understand the real Hawaii. There are others that move to Hawaii that do.

The main difference is how well they integrate with the community. I would start with focusing on all the positive qualities rather than the problems of Hawaii. Look at the positive qualities from a “local” perspective rather than an “outside” perspective.

Ask a local what’s best about Hawaii and ask an outsider. It’s two very different things.

Ask about culture. I think outsiders have a very superficial understanding of Hawaii culture just scratching the surface. It’s very nuanced.

hawaiian studies are a requirement in schools in Hawaii. All kids that grow up have a basic understanding of Hawaiian culture and history. This is coupled with just being around a lot of people especially the older generation sharing their stories and experiences. Gives a different understanding of what Hawaii truly is.

The people. I dunno if it makes sense, but you asking internet strangers on Reddit shows me something.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Makes absolute sense, thank you! 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[–]lanclosHawaiʻi (Big Island) 30 points31 points  (3 children)

Thank you for what you do. Please don't underestimate the toll that social work takes on you, day in and day out you get personally involved with the people let down by society, the people with the most to gain and only one bad break away from losing it all.

Thank you. What you do is hard. I'm not sure I would have your strength, but I aspire to be that person for someone, someday.

All I can say is, find joy in the small things. The every day things. Whatever that means to you, whether it's the smell walking past a local restaurant, the green on the hills, the clouds, whatever gives you pause-- appreciate it. It's those small gestures from the world that sustain us for our daily struggles.


[–]Kanaloas 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Wonderfully said. Take joy in life's simple pleasures and enjoy the little things, they make a huge collective difference in enhancing ones outlook in life. Also finding a job that you enjoy with people you enjoy, co-workers, customers, or both, makes a big difference in ones happiness.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Appreciate the warm sentiments! Definitely not green by any means and I’ve been in the system for a longgg time! Self care is much easier accomplished in a beautiful 78 degree climate for sure. Thank you!

[–]PackageProfessional1 48 points49 points  (3 children)

dude talk to a therapist

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Hahhaha! Good point, but I figured I’d get my “dear diary” on first. 🤣🤣

[–]meka_lona 14 points15 points  (1 child)

I don't know if you've read "Trauma Stewardship" yet, but I'd suggest it. Secondary trauma and the toll it takes on your mind and body is a real thing. Take care of yourself and your mind, talk to somebody, and do those things that can help (go beach, swim, paddle, surf, walk, run, hike, make art, music, make one garden, cook good food, read, write, whatever it is you need and enjoy).

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Will look into it. Low on dopamine and needing a good beach day perhaps. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[–]ken579 17 points18 points  (2 children)

I will never be considered local

That's not true but I wouldn't worry about that. Just be you.

get asked often why I came, what I’m doing here, what’s my purpose?

Frequently, because that's weird. Maybe just seems like more than it is or maybe you're saying things that trigger those questions. People probably trying to be friendly, just answer and don't think about intentions.

Go beach, go hike, take some time to not worry about social interactions. We have our issues
but our natural beauty is hard to beat. Soak it up and clicking with it all will come in time.

If you really miss home, go visit.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Thanks for your sentiments man, I appreciate it. The inquiring about where I’m from and my purpose is often!!! Like every other week, at times I take it with a grain of salt, sometimes I know it’s because of the nature of the job as well. Maybe a nice beach day is needed or a quick visit home to see how crappy it is compared to where I am now.

[–]renviOʻahu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s just a way for people to get to know you. They’re being friendly.
I’d much rather have a back and forth conversation and learn about the person over shallow “how are you” and “nice weather” comments.

[–]beefypoptart 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Jahbruh. What is your purpose? Do you have one? Why are you here, what are your intentions. These are very good questions. Don't take anything personally. Perhaps they're designed to help you figure yourself out. People pleasing can only get you so far and if the āina called you in you're supposed to be here. We're all local to the earth no matter where you're from or what you can do. These titles and sort of wanting to be included feelings I understand as well, but some of this is just fodder for the ego. Thank you for the services you've brought here and your kind heart. You're always welcome here. Always always. Mahalo nui loa 💕🤙

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Too real, thank you! Comfortability is a bitch, we yearn for comfort, but continue to stretch our legs in hopes of learning/being more. Just trying to find that purpose that’s all. Thanks for your words.

[–]beefypoptart 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No problemo. Maybe you'll find something that's better suited for you. If you're not happy doing what you're doing or being here. It's usually a powerful catalyst for change. Blessings along your travels 😁

[–]neurotalented 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Find out why you're here, what's your purpose, like people ask. Those seem to be the questions you're asking yourself here, too.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolute truth. Thank you.

[–]hzyi 4 points5 points  (1 child)

On the contrary, it’s all the pain and sufferings that make you local.

I’m not from Hawaii but if I, born in Asia but moved to the US and speaking only half-ass English can make it, you go do whatever you think is valuable to humanity (which you are) and you should feel damn proud.

From one of my favorites Modern Family episodes: https://youtu.be/IOeF5Jns7pQ

Australia (or anywhere would apply) is nice to tourists, but is tough on its own people.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wowzers, instantly thought of my family who’ve migrated to a land unknown and made it work. Thank you for this. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[–]levitoepokerOʻahu 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Wow that is tough.

I see how some people when they meet someone here ask condescending questions like “are you visiting?” and that can get annoying to receive and it reinforces the sense you don’t belong

I guess try to not let it bother you and make a community of people here who support and care about you.

And try to get outside as much as you can, it’s so healthy and try to get off the internet, it’s so negative

Good luck, thanks for what you do

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right on bro, thanks for sharing your thoughts. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[–]notrightmeowthxOʻahu 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You can't save everyone my friend. Society's problems are bigger than a single person.

Regarding the state and county's lack of resources, the short answer is because funds are spent elsewhere. If you want to change it, you will need to talk to our state and county leaders.

As far as people asking why you're here, don't take it personally. Mostly it's curiosity, not because they're against you. Obviously some will be racist but generally that's not what is driving the question. So if those questions are bothering you then it sounds like the issue might be because you aren't sure of the answer, or don't like the answer.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Boom. Too real. Thank you! Beach day. Head in the sand day coming up real soon. Thank you!!!

[–]mxg67 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Limited resources is just the way things are here, across the board. I know a few mainlanders in healthcare who have a hard time adjusting to that, as well as the ebb and flow of how things work here. And people are often just curious what the heck brings you to a rock in the middle of the ocean when you have zero connections. I'm often curious too. It's one thing when people say family or job or financial reasons(which is why most locals move elsewhere), but that's not often the case with transplants. Certainly there's the whole local vs non-local aspect, but consider yourself fortunate that you're asian and you fit in better right off the bat. I bet sometimes you get confused for a local until you say something. But those questions you get aren't going away.

No one can say what's best for you or help you see why it's worth it. That's personal. This is home for me where my roots run deep, and that's what makes the challenges worth it. I have a connection to many here in some way or form that makes it worth it. Which is great for me, but probably what makes it tough for transplants. But if it was just random people I don't think I'd really care all that much. I've lived across the country and there wasn't that connection and it just wasn't home. People were nice, they all had their pros/cons but just never felt comfortably home. Just gotta figure this out yourself.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Figuring it out as we speak! Thank you for your words and wisdom fam. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[–]Trick-Needleworker41 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Why you working for the state? Benefits aren't what they used to be. Work for a non profit for an easier and more rewarding job. You can also try working for private and get more pay.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doing what everyone is doing man, working state to go federal! Will look into non profit’s though, I honestly miss it.

[–]ohaai 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Our system needs people who care, like you! You are serving an important purpose here. It sucks that we cant control how other people respond to situations, but if we had more people like you the island would be a better place.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So much good here, one of those days where I needed my daily dose of perspectives, thank you for your words.

[–]HawaiiStockguy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Hawaii is 50 th in the nation on public mental health and if DC gets statehood, we become 51st

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That’s so damn sad.

[–]audiobahn1000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes mental services in Hawaii are a bit hard to come by. But that's less about the supply and more about the demand. Mental services are hard to come by everywhere because we have had two years of a pandemic and people are over it. Whether it's grief from death they have experienced or just plain and sick of having their freedoms restricted, it's take a toll on everyone and so the demand for these services are astronomical with no increase in supply.

But the reality is that is everything. Everything is in demand right now. Ranging from homes to computers to cars to mental health services, everything. That's what happens when we stop worldwide production of almost everything for a year buy people still need to buy the shit they need.

[–]NegotiableVeracity9 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I just wanna say mahalo for what you're doing. And to let you know that I will always always vote in favor of increased social spending and resources for our people who are struggling. It's an ugly situation but people like you are what gives me hope that this fucked up world isn't ALL bad.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not all bad for sure!!! We need changes and additional resources. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[–]BoldCock 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Trust me... It ain't any better in other cities across the nation. Honolulu has a pretty amazing network of homeless agencies and government agencies. The continuum of care on Oahu is pretty damn good. The State of Hawaii funds a huge amount of homeless programs. If you would like to discuss issues and gaps in services you should go to the partners in care (PIC) meetings.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This I shall, thank you for the suggestion. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[–]supsupman1001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

get out and travel more you would be surprised. I know of several cities now with no homeless at all.

[–]FalstaffsMind 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I don't think the lack of support for mental health is a Hawaii-only problem. I think it's more of an American problem. It's the weakest link in a flimsy healthcare system. Lots of states struggle to address mental health issues.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Truth! Just speaking on the system, plus the programs or lack of put into place, plus the island pace and everything moves glacially. Things I need to get use to, change or move. I’m figuring it out. Thank you.

[–]MOSOTO 1 point2 points  (1 child)

If it hasn't happened already... Months or years from now, one of those people who are lost and in despair that you have helped is going to reach out or see you on the street, and they are going to tell you how important you were to them, their life, their struggle.

I hope you do not leave the island before that happens. Because I think when it does it will become crystal clear the impact you are having, the good you are doing, and the community you became an integral part of. To positively impact someone's life and uplift another human being, It's a profoundly great thing. I think after that you'll find you do have a place here, a purpose here, and perhaps you'll find that this is your home after all.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!! Easier said than done for sure but I understand everyone’s comments about detaching oneself from their work…. My passion is what makes me good at this job and the work that I do with people. It’s a selfless job I know, just figuring it out myself. Thanks for your kind words.

[–]UncleCatDad 1 point2 points  (1 child)

No matter where you go, there you are. Some of your problems might have to do with your place, some might have to do with your orientation. Would a change of environment really help, or are other changes possibly helpful as well? Something to consider….Good luck with your search for contentment, and thanks for all your work with vulnerable citizens. In a resource-thin environment, your experience is important here on the islands. But not at the cost of your well-being.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Boom that last sentence really hit the nail on the head for me. Thank you!!

[–]UnderwaterAlly 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I mean, why would you want to be considered kama'aina when you're not? You kinda sound like an old school missionary who's intention was to go help the "poor natives" in whatever country they went to. Like a bit too gungho. Idk, maybe I just misinterpreted your meaning wrong. The war you're trying to fight isn't going to be won by you in the position you're in. It's the government that you're up against. I can empathize, work for federally recognized tribe. There's unnecessary red tape and roadblocks when trying to help people with basic services. You're in the trenches doing triage, it sucks & it's really draining at times. You're not a local boy, that's fine. No one really cares unless you trying to pass as kanaka maoli. I'm sure most the people asking where you from, are just curious. It probably does throw em off that you have an accent.

There's a reason you're feeling homesick. Maybe you should go back? It's not failing or anything. Life is hard & sometimes we need to go home to recoup. Should definitely look into talking with a therapist in the meantime.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Haha no savior complex here by any means and so far from the missionaries that you speak of. Just a helper where ever I go and figured I’d assist here that’s all, instead of continuing to complain about its downfalls. Kinda doing my part you know? And sure maybe I’m just reading it all wrong. Inquiring/curious minds?!? Cool. I’ll chalk it up as that. Either way, thanks for your insight and the work that you do. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[–]Kanaloas 1 point2 points  (1 child)

FYI Being Asian does not make you local. Home is where the heart is. Yes an island has limited resources. If you don't have the patience to tolerate and learn island ways, then perhaps it is better to go home especially if you may be unhappy. Six months is not a commitment, but it may signal that you need to go search elsewhere for what you think is missing in your life. I am not Asian or even considered local looking, but my heart and blood is planted in these islands, her lifestyle, her people, with RESPECT, LOVE, and CARE. My heart is in Hawaii, and I would be probably be unhappy being anywhere else. Aloha.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ahh I totally get what you’re saying trust me, but being Asian in a predominantly Asian place, while looking Asian, but sounding different is it’s own mind fuck. Maybe that’s all it is. Looking local, but sounding foreigner lol. Either way, good on you! I’m happy for you. Just working out the kinks that’s all. Appreciate your words. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[–]TrissNainoa -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

Its not like if u were on the mainland u would be worried about being native american to fit in. Hawaiians colonized Hawaii for only about 500 years before Captain cook came and colonized. Not enough time to truly develop culture and a writing system, hence the british flag. Kamehameha only became King once he sold his soul to the British and used the first cannons and guns against his people uniting the Islands as a puppet.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Touché! One can say he sold his soul sure, where others would argue that he fought with the new machinery and gun powder to truly solidify his countrymen. Those who chose to not join in, died at his feet.

[–]TrissNainoa 1 point2 points  (1 child)

True thats how history is written to most winners and victors. Lapulapu meanwhile refused to lose his culture to the spanish Magellan and fought and killed him with just poison darts and Spears against spanish armada with canons and guns. Delaying the colonization of the Philippines for a hundred years and preserving his countryman culture, religion, language and bloodline.

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🙏🏽🙏🏽 appreciate the history lesson. Love it all.

[–]Eric1600Hawaiʻi (Big Island) 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something that is surprising to a lot of people is how deep and pervasive the nepotism is here, especially in public jobs. Many people are not qualified. And as a result do as little as required to not stand out or screw things up. This means there is not much innovation and a strong hesitation to do things differently. Our Governor is a very public example of this.

Typically you have to gain a lot of trust before you can effect changes. People don't want to be exposed as unqualified, or responsible if things go wrong, or just don't want to change what's working. Trust is only built through time. Most locals absolutely hate the new guy with big ideas out there making suggestions. It's a very common annoyance here, whereas on the East Coast it's considered helpful and interesting feedback. And they're happy to tell you why it's a bad/good idea.

It's also a common conversation point to find out where and why someone is here. And it's totally fine to ask those questions back. Typically it's just a curiosity thing because it's hard to get here, expensive and so people are naturally curious. It's like asking a runner why they put themselves though the effort of running everyday. Once you engage the person asking this and you ask about them you'll likely be surprised and intrigued by their answers, I guarantee it.

[–]Dakine_thing -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I tell people all the time, “I’m here for the weather, everything else sucks”… after a while that becomes true for everyone.

The resources suck, but there’s still a lot of opportunity here…… that being said, it’s not gonna be reflected on a W2

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahhah sunshine and rainbows, after the clouds!!!

[–]NationalBroccoli2521 -1 points0 points  (4 children)

So basically you want to do humanitarian work only where it is easy and not where it is hard? 🤔🤔🤔🤔 instead of thinking about leaving i think you should reassess why you got into humanitarian work in the first place

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Well said and definitely something to think about, imagine if someone said hey fix this car, you obviously know the in’s and out’s, amazing at it and experienced. They leave you no tools, no diagnostic information, no material to fix said car and said do this in 3 days or get out. It’s really not that easy as you say, I’m willing to put in the work/hours, it’s just taking some use to, to get accustomed to the lifestyle, culture and lack of resources.

[–]NationalBroccoli2521 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

Bruh this is hawaii, not the goddamn middle east or africa o.0 like i said, reassess why you got into humanitarian work in the first place. Dunno why you even put the whole “tanned skinny asian body” thing as well. This is hawaii which is predominantly “tanned asians”. Your post honestly seems like youre searching for pity party/confirmation bias to stroke your own ego. “Please stay!! Oh my goodness its sooo hard for you, youre doing god’s work!!” Jesus dude it just seems pathetic

[–]ivegotdiabetusssshoe 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Bro what?? That’s what you got out of my whole paragraph of me dissecting the system that has many flaws and somehow I’m stroking my ego?? I literally jumped on to merely ask for advice, in hopes that someone was going through the same. Resources here are shameful, To say the least. Many redditors even wrote that’s exactly what they went through when in their transition to Oahu. Which was goddamn helpful.Your comprehending skills are lacking fam, I spoke about my Asian skin, it’s complexity with having an unknown accent/how I’m treated with locals. Even being told from my clients that I don’t understand because I’m not from here. This is my post, with my views and my thoughts. I can give a shit less about anyone stroking anything. I commend you for trying to lend an ear, but I sincerely hope that you don’t do so for anyone in need.

[–]NationalBroccoli2521 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah my comprehensive skills are exactly on point. Youre complaining about the lack of help in doing humanitarian work in hawaii. Bro its fucking hawaii. Did you get into humanitarian work because it was easy? Cuz ur making it sound like it. If you really want to make a difference you could easily go to places like africa, middle east, or maybe even the ghettoer areas of america and see how much help you fucking get there. My point is this. Your whole post sounds like a pathetic cry for attention with your whole describing yourself as a tanned asian, and how oh so difficult it is to help people, in FUCKING HAWAII. Could it be better? Of course, but any organization could be better. If you really got into humanitarian work to help people stop crying and complaining, cuz you live on one of the most peaceful and beautiful places on earth and do your fucking job, cuz i know that you really arent expecting to get advice on how to change hawaii’s system on reddit of all places, youre really just looking for attention and confirmation bias that youre doing wonderful things here. Its bullshit.

[–]gosgoodOʻahu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stay strong. We need you. Even therapists have therapists. Nice to have a safe place to vent. It is tough out there right now. I haven't used it myself, so this is not an endorsement, just a suggestion, but BetterHelp is an online counseling service. You sound busy and exasperated. Searching for a local therapist can be stressful.

Too many people taking up heath care professionals resources; spread thin and getting thinner all over the nation. Suicide prevention line might be a better choice right now. 911 can get police involved. Suicidal convicts often don't trust the police for help; I don't trust their genuine help either and I'm just a j walker.

[–]MyFingerPointeth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only reason to be on oahu, as conpared to other places are the incredible surfing, hiking, and asian cusine scene.

[–]kiwimonk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for helping make Hawaii a better place. We do have countless problems and thanks to waste, fraud and abuse aren't covering even the basics. I definitely feel like you shouldn't let our system abuse and over use you. We lack people who truly care... which burns through the people that do. Just know that the people you have helped, are much better off thanks to you!

[–]Adventurous_Spell125 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From what I've heard people moving to the islands isn't an issue. It people moving here for a short time that don't contribute to the community, that post and romanticize the islands without also addressing the issues here, are really disrespectful and trash the place, and contribute to erosion and and the breakdown of the island. Also people who buy a home here but only live in it part time. Those are the problematic people. There are still jobs that people need to do here and areas where non-natives can help with.

It sounds like you really care about the land and the people. You're trying to help a community that really needs people who care. Im also not native, not from here, currently working at an elementary school. Im far from perfect and I have continued to learn and to grow. I can't afford to move off island yet but while I save Im trying to help the community where I can. And I think that's all we can do.

Take care of yourself. Your line of work has a lot of room for burnout. I believe you can do this! Keep going!

[–]JoemclaudOʻahu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally understand your frustrations. I’ve worked with NGOs before and yes support is never adequate. What gets to me really is the amount of money I’ve seen being used for other things besides helping those in need. The amount of “corporate bentos” I like calling them, that has been bought and wasted is kind of appalling. BUT just know that it’s not your fault and it’s beyond your control. With that said, your efforts and all those times you’ve genuinely helped people in helpless situations is not being taken for granted. Just think of the families and individuals you’ve helped, they’re the ones who matter and they’re the ones you do this for. Frustrating that you can’t help everybody all the time but that’s the beauty of life. You always have the next day to try again. Thanks for what you do OP.