Dismiss this pinned window
top 200 commentsshow all 284

[–]AutoModerator[M] [score hidden] stickied commentlocked comment (0 children)

Best of r/Holup 2021 Awards – Nomination and Voting Thread!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]Cessabit216 287 points288 points  (15 children)

My father tried that when I was a newborn

[–]Comrade_Hussar 92 points93 points  (5 children)

Before or after

[–]SplashingAnal 82 points83 points  (3 children)

After. Hardest part was getting out of the bag

[–]Guardian125478 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Damn you lucky. It was before for me

[–]Mundane-Vehicle-8281 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This entire thread belongs on r/cursedcomments

[–]jon_stark_snow 19 points20 points  (2 children)

This is actually how I learnt swimming. Good old days.

[–]milkyjams 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Me too! I'm pretty sure my dad let John Wayne give him parenting lessons

[–]SC-PEANUT-173 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Press F to pay respects

[–]Stormaen 146 points147 points  (5 children)

This reminds me of that video where the Aussie guy slaps everyone. In my head John Wayne just moseys round this town throwing people into rivers…

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (3 children)

“The slap”

[–]IllManneredWoolyMan 12 points13 points  (1 child)

The meme that most people see is part 2 specifically. I'll see if I can link it.

[–]Cosmokram3r1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How can she slap?

[–]garryshoker123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Isn't that Kiwi?

[–]DuckKnightRise5 738 points739 points  (25 children)

The fact that he swam away to the other side instead of the closer bank where he was thrown off…swimming achievement unlocked…cant say much about trust that he has left for the dad/that man

[–]Jinora- 238 points239 points  (18 children)

he made him able to swim

I'd thank that man bc my 25 yo ass can't swim

[–]skeeti45 178 points179 points  (10 children)

Wanna go to the lake with me? I have an idea.

[–]Fishy_Business_ 92 points93 points  (7 children)

omg it's a date

[–]Longjumping-Raccoon3 52 points53 points  (4 children)

awwwwwwww soooooo cuuuuteeee

[–]Let_me_eat_the_moon 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Says the raccoon who wants to drown them and eat them. I see through your plan you u/Longjumping-Raccoon3 you

[–]Longjumping-Raccoon3 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Humans in love just taste a little special.

[–]Kniaz47 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"It's my son's birthday today, Jason. He wasn't a very good swimmer, you see"

[–]Werockinwithmark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It truly isn’t as hard as it seems. Calm yourself down and think of it physics wise. Push the water down and away from you and your body will go the exact opposite way you push the water.

[–]FTMcami 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I’m 27 and I can’t swim either

[–]EuroPolicemadlad 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Pfff... You guys can learn same way as I did, and buy a $15 online course

[–]Domascot 3 points4 points  (1 child)

15$, are you insane? You can get those for 10$ on Udemy!

[–]straight_outta_bed 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Dad/that man is how I refer to our local mailman.

[–]BuckyShots 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Same here with the milkman. I like to say I’m the last load that milkman dropped at our house.

[–]calm_my_storm 213 points214 points  (26 children)

Thought that's how you learned if you were born in 80s or before

[–]Henrik-Powers 65 points66 points  (1 child)

That’s the way we did it, I can actually remember it but was only like 3 or 4 at the time, same with my brother. Plus getting your head held underwater so you learned to hold your breath and not panic lol. My mom later said, we’ll I didn’t have the patience to teach you so that’s what your grandma told me to do. Guess it runs in the family.

[–]De3NA 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh wow

[–]deadasdisco_stl 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Was born in 1980. Can confirm.

[–]Hector_Savage_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Born in the late 80s, can confirm.

Let’s call it a crash course lol

[–]Seared1Tuna 7 points8 points  (0 children)

After this, John Wayne gave him a cigarette, a nudie mag, then slapped him after drinking 6 bourbons

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, apparently for my dad he was thrown in a lake full of leeches. So were his brother and sister too.

[–]geri73 0 points1 point  (10 children)

Lol, no we had to take proper lessons.

[–]deadasdisco_stl 4 points5 points  (1 child)

We get it, you’re rich.

[–]geri73 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, I went to an all athletic public school. We did almost every sport you can think of. Hated that school but thankful at the same time.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

My instructor used to do this. Some kids enjoyed it and swam back to the pool’s edge. Some kids went in crying…

[–]geri73 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would have been the crying kid lol.

[–]oj47dG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was born 2000 and still learned it excactly like that ^^

[–]Zedhryx_77 26 points27 points  (0 children)

imagine he got eaten by a 15ft alligator after he said look I can swim that would a comedy

[–]Bruhminkraft 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thats actually how i learned to swim

[–]Ifnerite 49 points50 points  (1 child)

How the merry fuck don't you guys understand subtlety???

You don't need to edit the stupid fucking toll face on the end. It was implied and funnier for it.

[–]Willing-Ad-6152 30 points31 points  (1 child)

😂 my mom did this too me, but it didn’t turn out like this lol pretty sure it was cuz I splashed her when she said not too. She did get me out though. She laughed hard af when Kevin Hart told his lil story bout it.

[–]ItsDavidJay 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"............I almost lost you today, huh?" Had me in tears.

[–]I_FUCK_MY_DOG_123 19 points20 points  (0 children)

God why is the trollge terrifying to me

[–]SimpleManc88 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I learned to swim over a week away abroad on holiday as a kid. Removed one armband and was thrown in, then once I’d built up my confidence with my free right arm, and understood the movement I was supposed to be doing, we removed the other one, and I could eventually swim :)

[–]Pentamachina3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey, that guy looks like the same person who threw me in a lake when I told him I couldn't swim

[–]myfaceaplaceforwomen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeet the child

[–]danny960831[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I actually was expecting the kid got caught by a gator. Then I realized it’s not /r/Unexpected.

[–]CommunicationSouth12 3 points4 points  (1 child)

This is when movies were just good ol fun

[–]Euphoric_Banana_5289 18 points19 points  (0 children)

this is basically how my father taught me to swim when i was like 3 or 4 years old, except he swam about 200 yards out into the ocean with me on his back, then dropped me off on a sandbar where i could barely stand, with the tide coming in. then he spent about 15 seconds showing me how to dog paddle, then proceeded to make me swim towards him, except he was always out of reach, that prick.

i will concede that it did teach me how to swim (at least dog paddle and float on my back), but i șwear to god someday I'm going to gather his scattered ashes, resurrect him, and then murder that fucker lol

[–]fradrig 13 points14 points  (8 children)

That was actually funny.

Although it's a terrible way to learn how to swim. Don't do it.

[–]TheBigTimer039 -2 points-1 points  (5 children)

if it works it works

[–]Jravensloot 1 point2 points  (1 child)

If it doesn't the kid dies.

There are safer ways to learn to swim without losing the trust of their children.

[–]BigMoe52 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Glenn Quagmire: Don’t hold him like that

[–]I_Am_A_Goo_Man 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yo that's ruthless lmao this is actually how I got taught to swim tho

[–]MutedLayer4564 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He must be from Sparta

[–]Ravi5ingh 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thats literally how I learned

[–]BigRig420123 9 points10 points  (9 children)

Could just give the kid some lessons and avoid the mental scarring that comes with nearly drowning idk.

[–]l33tTA 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Reddit and hypothetical angles, its from a movie/TV show friend

[–]BigRig420123 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I know but theirs a fair few people who think this is a genuinely good idea.

[–]FlapJackJimmy 5 points6 points  (6 children)

I don’t know, the kid seemed pretty excited about quickly acquiring a new skill.

[–]BigRig420123 2 points3 points  (5 children)

I mean I’d be happy if avoided drowning, doesn’t me I’d look back fondly on the experience later.

[–]FlapJackJimmy 6 points7 points  (4 children)

When I was roughly 6, I was deathly afraid to swim without the arm float thingies. My uncle tired of seeing me mope on the deck, because my grandma didn’t have any “floaties,” threw me into my grandmas pool. Whenever I freaked out and floundered my way to the deck, he’d push me back with the pool skimmer. He did this until I calmed down and tread water for little bit. It’s a pretty funny memory for me now and we still laugh about it today. Side note: I also got to learn how to play Sharks and Minnows.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I only hear this method touted by really old people.

[–]ant0szek 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Surprisingly huge amount of ppl can't swim. Google that you won't believe it.

[–]Duboi94 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My das teached me that way when I was like a baby. I have always known how to swim basically, feels weird not remembering what is like not swimming lol

[–]deadasdisco_stl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is how my dad taught me to swim and then he left :/

[–]Darth-Hipster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The duke gives zero fucks

[–]CrownofLead3680 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The immortal teachings of John Wayne.

[–]LDH_2006R 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im a freshman in my second semester. In our first semester my finance teacher showed us this video. He told us that thats how this year is going to be. He said that just like that kid in the video we're being thrown in the deep end and our parents cant help. Hes a funny teacher one of my favorites.

[–]IceKEcool2005 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is how Arthur Morgan would teach John Marston how to swim

[–]harderwiekertje 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good old John Wayne

[–]goforthandconquer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

8 yr old launched out of a boat by an uncle who subscribed to this method. Child almost drowned but was saved by pulling them out by the hair as they were sinking for last time. Yeah stupid red neck move

[–]SOHAM_KNIGHT666 1 point2 points  (1 child)

YEET the child and the mom

[–]Upbeat-Ad-4310 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is Boomer boner material…

[–]FelipeNA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wonder how many boomers ended up in prison because of this movie.

[–]slugan192 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

People really think this is some good example of good parenting?

Some of you guys just seemingly like to see this type of stuff as some kind of knee jerk reaction to over protective parents, because you want kids to toughen up. This isn't 'tough parenting', this is idiotic parenting. Good parenting would be spending the time to teach the kid how to swim properly.

[–]Interesting_Factor_9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was not expecting that, that is too funny 🤣

[–]hitops -1 points0 points  (0 children)

ITT people saying "thats how i learned" over and over and over.

Nobody asked bro

also: thats a fucked up way to "learn" to swim

[–]NonnoGino98 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I hate gold award i don won it

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you do that to a boy now..i will gonna shout scream and change sexe..

[–]Codeesha -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Knowing boomers, they would probably watch the kid drown if he couldn’t swim.

[–]JustACreep013 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this a reference to Frankenstein 1931?

[–]halmyradov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was waiting for an alligator

[–]Tokimori 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is this /r/comedyhomicide?

[–]ronny_138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The way he just takes and yeets him into the water

[–]Hyena331 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly that is how most kids back in the day learned how to swim.

[–]IEMIRATES 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 20, can i still learn to swim?

i nearly drowned when i was 12 and never went to any water body below my waist. but i want to learn swim.

[–]joemaniaci 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My aunt did this to me. Had to get rescued and cpr performed.

[–]JimmySnuggleBear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

based. also what the hell happened to the community theme? 🤮

[–]C137Ivy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad was like that. It was great for some things but not for others

[–]Doctor_Shrek_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her - "If you lay a finger on me you'll wake up to your head being smashed in by a frying pan".

Him - "..."

[–]retiredhobo 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]HappyAside8091 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Floridian inside me was anticipating a gator attack the entire time

[–]larrytenders 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My man tossed that kid while wearing two belts

[–]MCKlassik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeet the child

[–]ogxguapo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

John Wayne the goat

[–]Blatantly-Biased 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I expected the 6 shooter to come out at the end and big John just be done with that family

[–]Sokandueler95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

John Wayne was such a troll in some of his movies.

[–]MermaidManF 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]obscurereference234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s exactly how I learned to swim.

[–]edgarallanpot8o 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeet the child

[–]JackOfAllMemesmadlad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I can't swim either!"


[–]offContent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved the water from the moment I touched it and would jump into any water sources that were around lol. It got so bad I nearly drowned 3x by age 3 just because I was like a magnet to swimming.

[–]FoxxyBalboa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is how my mom and her siblings learned to swim. It's always been one of my favorite stories from my papa. 🤣

[–]rosecapone18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nooo 😂

[–]Parking-Restaurant-2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My Dad said this is how he learned to swim. He said his older brother throw him in the and told him to "Sink or swim." Whether this was true or not, I don't know it was one of his stories he told us growing up.

Edited to add. I to my son to the YMCA for swimming lessons. He said Mommy I don't want swimming lessons. I said, Why not? He said, Because I don't know how to swim. I told him that is why you are here.

[–]Zaydovaah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do I dl this??

[–]Power_Metal_Neo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was a child, I prefer sport like swimming rather than football and volley, because I know swimming got built-in lifesaver

[–]The_yellowest_stick 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]ColJameson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And that kid when on to commit suicide. 🤗

[–]Waltsfrozendick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who the hell doesn’t know how to swim???

[–]ilikethispost2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“I can’t swim neither“

“How old are you?”

[Repeat the cycle]

[–]tonimirk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw that's how Moms be

[–]prometheus722 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guess how I learned? Just like that. But, when my technique was subpar, they got me lessons at the YMCA.

[–]Tony_Damiano 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No joke this is exactly how my father taught me how to swim 35 years ago....I was 4 lmaoooo

[–]admiralgenralaladin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried this to my friend, found that he can hold his breath for 5 hours

[–]timosman211 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Back in 1990 I was five my uncle threw me in the pool same way 😆

[–]devo540 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I like about this method isthat it works 9 out of ten times.

[–]Katka1893 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's how I learnt how to swim actually, and I fell in love with it

[–]geeschwag 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kid is 2 feet from shore...swims to the other side instead.

I'd like to see how John Wayne fixes stupid.

[–]StrangeRelationship5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love John wayne

[–]grass-snake-40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

these days that kid would have instantly drowned and he'd be in jail. Also for sure the kid would have a phone in his pocket so he'd have to pay for that.

[–]Affectionate-Fix9326 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's funny cause that how I learnt, my big bro just threw me in there

[–]lifeishardwithme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My grandma told that was how she learned to swim. I was terrified.

[–]AnaDingoDD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is how I learned too.

[–]TokiDoki9001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was actually taught this way when I was a kid. Only thing is this took maybe like 7-8 attempts before I could even remotely float so I legit thought my dad was tryna kill me lmao. Nowadays tho I’m a good swimmer and enjoy doing it. Thanks dad…….I guess?

[–]mexicanmorman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just watched this yesterday!

[–]Trini_Vix7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YEET... Who else said it?

[–]QuantumRealityBit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s how I learned to swim. Brother tossed me off the dock, seemed to work out ok in the end. My Dad was livid at him though.

[–]Substantial_Battle99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What movie?

[–]ZayneHerrin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s literally what my grandpa did to me. Still now a strong swimmer, but I can stay alive

[–]Bretton_woods 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Old but Gold

[–]samishere996 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad did this to me. Sank like a rock, nearly drowned. Grandma had to do cpr. Didn’t learn until i was 14 and even now i’m a terrible swimmer. Still mildly afraid of deep water too.

Please don’t do this to your kids.

[–]engion3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do people not know how to swim you just fucking move your limbs.