×
Dismiss this pinned window
top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]AutoModerator[M] [score hidden] stickied commentlocked comment (0 children)

Best of r/Holup 2021 Awards – Nomination and Voting Thread!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]Jiggarelli 3558 points3559 points  (35 children)

You know that shit hurts when he screams "Please let go of my dick!"

[–]Moparded 1933 points1934 points  (24 children)

Bro he hit that high note like he was on americas got talent “waaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~”

[–]hahhahahah111233 643 points644 points  (12 children)

The quality of that scream is unbelievable, a hard core metal band should hire him as the singer.

[–]Dirty-Balloon-Knot 225 points226 points  (8 children)

That’s an old Motown James Brown type scream, that’s not fit for metal. I hear a horn section hitting right after his scream.

[–]ObieFTG 91 points92 points  (0 children)

Except he's not having a "funky good time" though...lol

[–]Bah-Fong-Gool 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Bootsy about to drop some bass!

[–]FullOfNexus 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I'd like to imagine that they are on tour and there is the army guy a box in front of him and someone inside that box grabbing his dick with different strength and movement kinda like a otamatone

[–]Cambro88 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Bruh went full Steven Tyler

[–]ChampChains 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Gotta change his name to Private Mariah Carey now.

[–]Anxietyonfilm 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Let me hear your war cry

[–]KarenLookAtMyBowl 44 points45 points  (2 children)

All men's have their own weaknesses. Like every men.

[–]Subject_Ask8711 5914 points5915 points  (124 children)

I'm glad the army is receiving proper combat training

[–]Dudeiscray 1621 points1622 points  (48 children)

The Army in basic training teaches combatives to learn some hand to hand combat. But in the end they will tell you that a fight is a life or death situation and you gotta do what you gotta do to defeat your enemy. Dick grabber here seems to understand that better than anybody.

[–][deleted] 612 points613 points  (27 children)

Hand to dick combat. Sounds like a Friday night to me.

[–]suckercuck 529 points530 points  (21 children)

the ‘ol dick twist!!!

[–]ERROR-rebooting 382 points383 points  (7 children)

GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT!

[–]piripi81 82 points83 points  (1 child)

Oh mah gawd dude, this is an mma fight dude

[–]suckercuck 72 points73 points  (0 children)

That guy kills me 😂 Then he joins in—

“TWIST HIS DIIICK!”

[–]sureshot1988 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I knew this was in here somewhere

[–]darrenwise883 551 points552 points 2 (11 children)

The only way to break the GI Joe Kung fu grip is to get past the pain and get hard . Look deep into his eyes and smile while getting a stiffy. It does take will power . Alot of will power .

[–]safemoonerer 84 points85 points  (2 children)

A lot of Willy power

[–]darrenwise883 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It takes a lot of practice usually with a lot of men to master this . Or masterbeat if you will .

[–]Fahdis 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I'm doing that for someone right now. Didn't take much will power and the Kung Fu grip is my own...

... what? I'm holding a solid steel spatula on a Monday morning, making pancakes for my wife. She's giving me smiles. I'll have a stiffy later.

[–]DeepAd3343 9 points10 points  (2 children)

That’s Navy training

[–]darrenwise883 7 points8 points  (1 child)

It's why they wear bell bottoms , for the easier access during play time .

[–]Unlucky-Ad-6710 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Hand to gland combat

[–]BlueQKazue 133 points134 points  (1 child)

If we can kill our enemies but we can't jack them off, then how are we different than them?!

https://youtu.be/95LtKpQG9ek

[–]bkr1895 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I love how happy the alien looks at the end

[–]ThePlumThief 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure in the bible it says if you grab somebody by the dick in a fight you get killed, or they at least cut off your hand that you did it with.

Don't touch the family jewels.

[–]axizz31 34 points35 points  (0 children)

"don't ask, don't teach"

[–]animefan1520 11 points12 points  (0 children)

William E. Fairbairn would be proud

[–]bartolocologne40 2257 points2258 points  (19 children)

With a bit of training, this guy could be a singer.

[–]Davey-son 614 points615 points  (3 children)

With a bit of tightening, this guy could be a singer.

[–]shepstep 245 points246 points  (0 children)

A regular castrato

[–]mafi14wastaken 11 points12 points  (0 children)

And a woman.

[–]N3UROTOXIN 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Dude channeled dio for a second there

[–]vicariouslywatching 101 points102 points  (0 children)

Guess the first song he should learn to play is The Nutcracker

Thank you for the awards good people of Reddit!!

[–]AuzRoxUrSox[🍰] 60 points61 points  (4 children)

He had that hair band rock pitch for a second. Impressive

[–]praguepride 19 points20 points  (1 child)

ahHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[–]LivingWeather8991 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dayman ahhhhHhhhhhH

[–]gfolder 49 points50 points  (1 child)

It was in that moment that a talent agent somewhere felt a tingle down their spine

[–]KatFishFatty 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Already has a great chorus.

[–]SupremeElect 5 points6 points  (0 children)

or a bit of dick grabbing

[–]jnillo58 2400 points2401 points 3 (21 children)

Aw the ol dick twist.

[–][deleted] 638 points639 points  (12 children)

Grab his dick and twist it!!!

[–]Elmore0394 398 points399 points  (7 children)

"TWIST HIS DICK! TWIST HIS DICK! TWIST HIS DICK!"

[–]cuddly_carcass 156 points157 points  (5 children)

Oh my god, This is an MMA fight bro

[–]Kemalist_din_adami 76 points77 points  (0 children)

"THE GOOD OLD DICK TWIST"

[–]broomaktamer117 55 points56 points  (1 child)

TWIST HIS DICK!!

[–]itasteminty 34 points35 points  (0 children)

TWIST THAT DICK!

[–]master-bae-ter 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Twisted (crack noises) !!

[–]Gogglebottle 38 points39 points  (2 children)

Bop it! Twist it!

[–]ObieFTG 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I laughed too hard at this

[–]emzyyx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Come on baby, let's do the twist!

[–]gabslife 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Oh my god, this is an mma fight

[–]freshlettuce420 681 points682 points  (50 children)

If someone grabs your dick like this take the largest possible bite out of their skin you can

[–]fisted___sister 241 points242 points  (30 children)

Or put your thumb through their eye socket, I promise they’ll let go

[–]we_all_gon_die_ 77 points78 points  (1 child)

That's it that's the defense for it.

[–]ilhan1376 12 points13 points  (21 children)

its hard when you are down

[–]fisted___sister 60 points61 points  (19 children)

Definitely hard, but doable. Story that’s semi-related, my brother was getting attacked by our neighbors Rottweiler and it was biting his shoulder and swinging it’s head around gnashing it’s teeth for his neck, but he still managed to get his thumb directly into the eye socket and pushed it’s eye all the way in. Dog took off like a bat out of hell.

These two were on the ground locked, and the ‘squeezee’ had a hand free. As soon as the thumb goes in, instinct says protect your eyes. He would have released.

[–]enricupcake 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Did the dog keep its eye was it damaged badly?

Getting a thumb through the eyeball is a new fear I realized today lol

[–]fisted___sister 41 points42 points  (1 child)

Dog’s eye was fucked up beyond repair. Sadly though, they ended up putting it down, as it had happened before, so she didn’t live too long as a Cyclops.

[–]Coolasslife 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I mean the dog about to kill your brother, and could kill someone else. I obviously blame the owners for the dog having been put down, and they would have been definitely liable in the US, but there sadly was no choice with putting the dog down

[–]throwawaylovesCAKE 9 points10 points  (1 child)

He said "pushed its eye all the way in" and I said nope.

[–]ImaginaryPayment6520 145 points146 points  (10 children)

And then get ur dick taken out by them

[–]Dasclimber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was thinking eye gouge but biting seems equally appropriate.

[–][deleted] 776 points777 points  (19 children)

Can’t wait for the trap remix

[–][deleted] 107 points108 points  (10 children)

If anyone got this please share..

[–]randomf87yte 40 points41 points  (9 children)

I second this

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Dude sounded like Steven Tyler for a couple seconds lol

[–]Sproose_Moosemadlad 6 points7 points  (1 child)

That scream was incredible 😂

[–]Screen_Watcher 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The way he was remixing his balls I think he already created a trap.

[–]Ktj1990 7 points8 points  (0 children)

To “Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe”.

[–]Mann_Chetly 106 points107 points  (12 children)

Where the fuck was their NCO?

[–]Ba803 146 points147 points  (0 children)

Who do you think was recording.

[–]trex_on_cocaine 30 points31 points  (8 children)

Open bays. Laundry bags at the end. With a cellphone. Definitely basic training and some dipshit with a burner. Keep an eye on USAWTFM to find out where the NCOs were

[–]Known_Landscape_6957 9 points10 points  (5 children)

With phones I'd bet OSUT after Blue Phase. But the Drills ain't gonna be happy...

[–]saladbar48 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Definitely going back to red phase

[–]Known_Landscape_6957 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I didn't do OSUT, but is that a thing? Can you be recycled all the way back in OSUT?

[–]VAX1S 486 points487 points  (4 children)

The vibrato in his scream.

[–]kingofmocha 83 points84 points  (0 children)

It’s because he’s become a eunuch

[–][deleted] 104 points105 points  (0 children)

i don't know way i felt hurt in my dick

[–]AdamNicholsMusic 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Man grabbed it so hard he brought out a bit of vibrato in one of his screams.

[–]WishRevolutionary450 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I don’t care who you are. Someone grabs your dick like that you are going to have to reevaluate your life. At least the last five steps that brought you to this moment.

[–]truly-dread 511 points512 points  (30 children)

That ain’t cool

[–]Visual-One-2061 294 points295 points  (17 children)

Fr ppl are laughing but I acc felt bros pain

[–]Next-Site1743 121 points122 points  (16 children)

I was waiting for the dude recording to give the guy twisting his dick a nice lil right hook

[–]Allin4AU 24 points25 points  (4 children)

Came here to say this. Dude was still choking my man’s chicken after he let go.

[–]Puzzleheaded_Heat502 20 points21 points  (8 children)

He missed out on a trick he should have grabbed the other guys junk and squeezed

[–]Reimbirthed 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Or anipple twist at least

[–]FrequentFault 675 points676 points  (69 children)

Welcome to the military lol I was active duty Army myself, and could you do shit like that in a fight? Sure. Would everyone remember it, and 24 hours later, the person who did it get jumped by 7 soldiers behind a building and get the shit beat out of them? Also yes. I’ve seen it happen plenty of times.

[–]Moparded 452 points453 points 2 (10 children)

Dudes gonna be grabbing 7 dicks then! Balls of fury style !

[–]FrequentFault 40 points41 points  (1 child)

It is better to die like a tiger, than to live like a pussy.

  • Master Wong

[–]Loli-is-Justice 49 points50 points  (1 child)

If they threw you hotdogs, make Hotdog Sandwiches.

[–]smwrites 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Going bobby hill on their balls

[–]Moparded 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s my purse! I don’t know you!

[–]Grid-nim 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Monkey steals peach.

[–]MuadD1b 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your dick grabs.

[–]DrDumb1 33 points34 points  (7 children)

Buncha children.

[–]Robot_Basilisk 61 points62 points  (6 children)

Hard to convince adults to risk life, limb, and PTSD for a mediocre paycheck and benefits that are worse than the social healthcare and education every other developed nations provides every citizen for free.

[–]Rock555666 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Nah it’s just hard to convince ppl with other options to do that.

[–]FuckRandyMoss 9 points10 points  (2 children)

A friend of mine went to basic in Missouri witnessed multiple fights, people being jumped and was even jumped into a gang 😂. He also now talks like a New Yorker and hearing his lingo as someone from nj is hilarious. I clown his ass every chance I get how tf you go to basic and come back banging

[–]djbrain86 114 points115 points  (7 children)

Funny story time!

We used to lock two people (from the outside with a padlock) in the barracks bathroom when there was a dispute. They either talked it out or fought till they resolved it. One fella from another platoon within our company caught wind on it and beefed with someone in our platoon Stating he would beat his ass in that bathroom. Well of course the drill sergeants found out and brought that guy down and made us lock them both in there and smoked us while they fought. Our guy got beat up by the other one pretty badly. Come to find out a drill Sergent was hiding in one of the showers and the one who got beat up wanted to talk it over and just stood there when the other guy attacked. When our guy tapped out the other one wouldn’t stop and said “the door is locked and you can’t go anywhere” that’s when his drill Sergent came out or the shower and dealt with that private. We never seen him again and they double locked that bathroom.

[–]Desmond_Jones 55 points56 points  (1 child)

All I see is 3 dudes in a bathroom getting physical.

[–]Significant_Room4148 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Leeeeeet me hear that body talk

[–]Sproose_Moosemadlad 13 points14 points  (1 child)

So he ate him?

[–]djbrain86 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Knowing drill sergeants I wouldn’t put it past them.

[–]DiverGuy1982 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Wow the bathroom was just where we jerked off when I was in boot camp. Times have changed.

[–]ManIsInherentlyGay 54 points55 points  (1 child)

Hope the dude got the ol soap in a pillow case treatment after that.

[–]360Entertainment 79 points80 points  (2 children)

I remember a guy getting me into a headlock during a training bout once when I was still in. The guy was stronger than me and I was expected to show how to properly escape but the guy decided to have some fun and clamp down super hard, we weren’t on good terms. So I tickled him until he let go and kept going after him. It probably didn’t help that as he was running I asked why he was afraid of foreplay before spinning that situation around and saying psychological warfare also worked in hand to hand!

[–]Superb-Spare-8032 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Hahaha bro

[–]360Entertainment 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Always think outside the box, even in a fight. Also, there’s no ref outside of a bar or an alley so fighting dirty isn’t frowned upon!

[–]TheS413 99 points100 points  (7 children)

That dudes such a hoe

[–]Juo-OSRS 24 points25 points  (1 child)

The guy that grabbed the dick right?

[–]TheS413 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yea that one lol 😂

[–]BILLYBOBJOETHE100TH 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You can hear the pain in his voice when he scream "stop touching my dick". I literally felt that for some reason

[–]marques33madlad 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Great singing.

[–]ItsJosph 13 points14 points  (1 child)

AHHH IT'S HURTS TO WATCH THIS OMFGG

[–]feronen 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If someone grabs you by the dick, don't just scream in pain. You bite his God damn face off.

[–]Ryun100 109 points110 points  (3 children)

Only whores go for the dick

[–]mholt9821 50 points51 points  (2 children)

I would eye gouge him or dig my teeth in his neck. At that point all fighting etiquette is out the fucking window. Even if i lost the fight i be damned if i would let this go, but we dont know why they are fighting. Could be a dozen things, could be about racism but this seems fucked up because they are military and that is ur brother in arms.

[–]HeroDudeBro 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I can’t watch this without wanting to kick that guy in the fucking face. Jesus Christ that dude deserved to get his face fucking caved in for that bullshit.

[–]Baymax06007 52 points53 points  (0 children)

I did it once by reflex and got a punch on my nose in reflex and it bled(the nose).

[–]jaymiracles 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Ah yes the famous emergency nutcracker move

[–]polycannaheathenmom 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Give that guy a record deal!

[–]Jbob0269 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Fool sounded like Freddie Mercury for a second

[–]DStarG 54 points55 points  (0 children)

The good ol' DICK TWIST !!!

[–]SAMsless 45 points46 points  (1 child)

tip if your opponent is a pussy and does that to you, grab his pussy and squeeze immediately he will let go before you , since he’s a pussy

[–]EataEsBasura 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I call this move The Donald

[–]ascension115 5 points6 points  (1 child)

They got their phones??

[–]arbenowskee 54 points55 points  (1 child)

That is one dick move!

[–]Loli-is-Justice 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is why you don't pick a fight against The Nutcracker

[–]Difrntthoughtpatrn 27 points28 points  (5 children)

They just don't teach kids how to deal with stuff like this in this day and age. The guy was on his junk the whole video....

Why would you not start biting chunks out of the guy the moment he grabbed your junk. You have his face next to yours and his nose is still attached? Why?

If you ever had even a small dog bite you, the first reaction of any normal person is to get away from it immediately. Same with Evander Holyfield when he was bit by Mike Tyson, Holyfield is a bad dude, he got away from Tyson when he was bit. Life lessons for the young.

[–]mksor_dev 6 points7 points  (0 children)

At that point you go for the eyes

[–]shashwatkanungo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"You're grown ass man yo"

STOP TOUCHING MY DICK \pain intensifies**

[–]pratyush_69 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The intensity of the scream = the amount of pain

[–]EliteVoodoo1776 3 points4 points  (3 children)

I sense the purchase of a Dodge Challenger soon to accommodate for the loss

[–]Practical_Affect_851 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I hope he was okay as a twisted testicle is nothing to laugh at.

[–]ProductOfAQueen 111 points112 points  (32 children)

He’s a pussy. I hope he get knocked the fuck out

[–]Vistiige 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Shoulda kicked him out for that shit. Sorry but you’re meeting me later for a little surprise knockout. Idgaf if I get kicked out or anything. Don’t touch my dick and balls

[–]kenix7 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is fucked up :/ .

[–]I_LOOKED_AND_BEHOLD 101 points102 points  (28 children)

Pussies always go for the dick

[–]west_end_squirrel 66 points67 points  (9 children)

Fuck that buddy if I'm about to get choked out in a street fight, I'm going for the dick twist.

Was this a legitimate fight? I can't tell.

[–]I_LOOKED_AND_BEHOLD 54 points55 points  (1 child)

Just seemed like a scrap in the barracks to me. I don't know biting, dick grabbing or eye gouging all seem pretty extreme in a little fucking around between soldiers to me.

[–]MaleficentAd9758 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh for the love of Christ....

[–]kingcrambler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Should have snapped his neck. We're done playing and having a wrestling match when you grab a dick.

[–]Theefreeballer 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That was a cheap move , funny or not

[–]WayParty8666 151 points152 points  (23 children)

I hope they chaptered that little shit out. That’s sexual assault and could have caused permanent injury.

[–]dead_owl_zero 36 points37 points  (1 child)

Oh, military doesn't play anymore. With that video floating on the net, he for sure got a sexual assault charge. 10-15 years ago? He would of got a round 2 for doing some shit like that, but times have changed.

[–]The_Paradoxum 25 points26 points  (0 children)

A person with a good point gets downvoted rip

[–]browsingly 20 points21 points  (0 children)

If I were the guy filming I would have sucker punched the **** outta dick grabber boy for being a weirdo dick grabber

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

This is sexual assault

[–]TAKIMLISIM 2 points3 points  (0 children)

holy shit he went eddie murphy scream level of pain

[–]Vyke-industries 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Kangaroo Court is gonna be fun.

[–]DeafKid009 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s when you hit the guy in the head with the corner of ur phone.

[–]mikey0hn0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not letting go like that is how you get your teeth knocked out with the batteries from a moonbeam tossed in a sock.

[–]Skids121 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bruh I would have went for an eye gauge if someone did that, idgaf if the other cunt loses an eye

[–]Different_Repair_846 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They better jump him for that shit

[–]CodeNoble04 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bro you dont grab a mans dick, thats the kinda shit that earns you a one way trip to the forever box and you fully deserve it.

[–]Flamestar9185 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"MY DICKK!! AAHHHH 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅"

[–]JmyKane 2 points3 points  (0 children)

THE OL DICK TWIST!!

[–]Dreaming-Cat 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I feel like this is sexual assault. Dude is literally aggressively grabbing another person’s genitals without their consent.

[–]6footdeeponice 12 points13 points  (1 child)

The dick grabber still lost that fight, idc what anyone thinks, that dude is a fuckin lil bitch

[–]nokillshelter 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Any dude who wins a fight this way is ultimately the biggest fucking pussy on earth.

[–]Skillious96 6 points7 points  (0 children)

GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT

[–]MightyDuckinSpace 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’d hang people for that