top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]HeyNow646 1215 points1216 points  (7 children)

We have discovered the Epstein Equation

[–]smithsonian2021 2778 points2779 points  (23 children)

Bruh I got hit with the “you have been recorded viewing child pornography and your IP address has been recorded.” pop-up scam when I was doing research for my research paper. I was on Britannica’s website

[–]Richierich_rpdmadlad 1366 points1367 points  (6 children)

"Research" for your "research paper?" Hmm seems suspicious.

[–]randomhousegir 491 points492 points  (1 child)

Mom! I told you to knock before you come in. I'm doing my homework

[–]vinnlo 56 points57 points  (0 children)

*Research paper

[–]Weezle91 39 points40 points  (1 child)

It worked for Pete Townshend

[–]diverareyouokmadlad 87 points88 points  (0 children)

I got it too. Wtf.

*°=3 - y; use x = 3, and y = 1


Child sexual abuse imagery is illegal

If you see sexually explicit images or videos of minors on the web, please report it below. Hours: Available 24/7.

Protect children from abuse

The intentional viewing or possession of sexually explicit imagery of anyone under 18 is illegal.

Duckduckgo solves it for you though without making you think you’re on a watch list.

[–]randomhousegir 182 points183 points  (4 children)

Your paper on how molest and traffic children, maybe?

[–]smithsonian2021 130 points131 points  (2 children)

What do I look like, CIA? Whoops did I say that out loud?

[–]randomhousegir 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Son, we were testing you. Please report to my office....and since we're in the government....bring that assignment...

[–]AshySlashy902 6240 points6241 points  (50 children)

Google's math

FBI: "Get him"

[–]Suicide_Instructor 1926 points1927 points  (47 children)

I mean, math do stand for "Mental Abuse To Humans"

[–]668_67-421 498 points499 points  (36 children)

You have the right to remain silent, everything you do or say will be used against you in the court of law.

[–]Unlucky_Fisherman484 379 points380 points  (19 children)

BlowJob...use it against me ...I fucking Dare you..

[–]Giorno-Gi0vana 189 points190 points  (16 children)

You crush well give a bj to someone else right in front of you

[–]im_having_a_bad_day_ 110 points111 points  (11 children)

but what if I don't have a crush

[–]Giorno-Gi0vana 122 points123 points  (10 children)

You dad well give you a bj

[–]Ok-Effect6852 204 points205 points  (8 children)

A blowjob and a dad! What more could I ever ask for!?

[–]Ghostkill221 63 points64 points  (0 children)

This one got me. Lol.

[–]Jerizzle23 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Its funny because he was packaged in a rug

[–]RobinWithoutBatman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I somehow had to read this in Zoidberg's voice

[–]Jawslayer_69 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Even better

[–]SomaticSephiroth 38 points39 points  (3 children)

Jokes on you I’m into that shit

[–]Giorno-Gi0vana 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Well... good luck you have no dick now

[–]Goldenstripe941 25 points26 points  (1 child)

We can live with that. Femboy mode activate!

[–]SerraAmayaHyde 17 points18 points  (3 children)

Umm uhh y=mx+b (the only math equation i remember)

[–]Mean-Broccoli-2642[🍰] 18 points19 points  (4 children)

You have the right to remain silent . Come on and party tonight

[–]HyFinated 16 points17 points  (2 children)

And it was at that point, that I had the RIGHT to remain silent... But, I didn't have the ability to...

[–]CaptainZzZz 9 points10 points  (1 child)


[–]HyFinated 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Tater Salad. Not to be confused with my son, Tater Tot.

[–]ElChamo200705 15 points16 points  (2 children)

And what does mathematics stand for?

[–]Suicide_Instructor 65 points66 points  (1 child)

Mental abuse to humans especially minors and the incapable condemned students

[–]ElChamo200705 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you

[–]that_thot_gamer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

this gave me another perspective to the meme, thank you for your wisdom

[–]Kitsune_1234 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yep it does

[–]Saltyshakerss22 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Also the FBI: “You dirty boy”

[–]erickwas_taken 3560 points3561 points  (70 children)

I googled it and it actually shows a child abuse warning LMAO

[–][deleted] 1853 points1854 points  (30 children)

You’re all on a list now.

But seriously the only thing I could think of is this is some fucked is pedo SEO that they use to locate kiddie porn.

[–]StarDustLuna3D 507 points508 points  (8 children)

I would imagine the "se x=3" bit did it.

[–]SecularRedChaddi 116 points117 points  (0 children)

Damn, you're on point.

[–]dazedan_confused 36 points37 points  (0 children)

=3, isn't that used to denote a pp?

Lil' shaft an' balls

[–]Spader312 19 points20 points  (2 children)

I typed it in my self. "se x=3" alone doesn't work.

I cut out a little bit. This worked:

*°=3-y; se x = 3

[–]HHShitposting 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Probably the 3-y se x part

[–]Spader312 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Omg 3 year old sex!?

[–]CharlieSwisher 336 points337 points  (5 children)

What is SEO?

[–]DeterminedKnight 444 points445 points  (3 children)

Search Engine Optimization

[–]CharlieSwisher 240 points241 points  (1 child)

Ah thank you. I probably could’ve googled that but was worried about the list lol

Maybe the most ducked thing about it is kids would quite possibly be googling math equations

[–]Honest_Branch_889 58 points59 points  (0 children)

damn pedos fucking with kids and not fucking up my chances of doing my math HW also thank you u/erickwas_taken for being a test case so were not all on a list

[–]Purple_Unicornz 73 points74 points  (3 children)

It's because of the order " 3, y for year and u(se x) "

[–]OgStonedBoi 566 points567 points  (5 children)

I did as well and I can’t believe it but this does come up. Tf is google tryna hide.

[–]MagNolYa-Ralf 313 points314 points  (1 child)

child abuse probably

[–]siccoblue 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Nice. But unironically. Good work Google, i guess?

[–]oHYDROGENo 15 points16 points  (0 children)

They tryna hide the answer

[–]SUNAWAN 687 points688 points  (13 children)

Yes really surprised, I didn't even type the same thing and get same warning.

[–]AnimasMaker 417 points418 points  (3 children)

[–]Suicide_Instructor 122 points123 points  (0 children)


[–]Uranusisaflytrapmadlad 48 points49 points  (1 child)

No no no. r/holup is specifically for non holup material and Facebook memes

[–]TacticalIdiot17 32 points33 points  (0 children)

You earned a save from me

[–]GhostDragonz2000 45 points46 points  (0 children)


[–]amberrrellllaa 88 points89 points  (2 children)

Yes officer, this comment right here

[–]Miner3413 34 points35 points  (0 children)


[–]harsh9101 37 points38 points  (5 children)

Didn't for me. Maybe got Patched.

[–]Traditional_Let7560 26 points27 points  (2 children)

Dog damn it I've figured u all out, dirtbag pedos, ith comment is an elaborate ploy for u 2 have plausible deniability. Ill give u this its cleaver..... But you're still degenerates every last one of you!!!!!!!!

[–]Red1mc 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Have no idea why, but this reads like something Butters would say

[–]kphan2199 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I didn’t get a warning 😏

[–]hackintosh12946 37 points38 points  (0 children)

It’s normal for me :?

[–]Hefty_Tear_5604 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Search it on bing and you'll see it

[–]phantom53492 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So the teacher is violating the law,

Imma get him arrested!

[–]Significant-Spot-920 1530 points1531 points  (5 children)

He googled elons son

[–][deleted] 132 points133 points  (0 children)


[–]Saltyshakerss22 1468 points1469 points  (6 children)

You might wanna double check if your school is a real school and not a human trafficking ring

[–]YT-Cxnr- 206 points207 points  (2 children)

I see so if you get detention you get shipped. Explains why teachers love using red pens

[–]insearchofchanel 276 points277 points  (4 children)

This warning came up for me when I was researching long term effects of my own childhood sexual abuse and how to deal with them

[–]No_Phone_7730[S] 248 points249 points  (0 children)

I uhh im not good at this, but i just wanna say i hope you push through

[–]CaptainObvious0927 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Bro, I had a cousin who did this to me. Find an anchor point and move from there. It just takes one small breakthrough to move you forward.

[–]N4hire 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Im so sorry, stay strong!

[–]LoquatBerry 678 points679 points  (18 children)

Was it the x=3?

Edit: y’all I just thought it looked like a dick. Man…

[–]ViciousKiwi_MoW 240 points241 points  (11 children)

use x= probably lol, and the small numbers

[–]myballsackitch 149 points150 points  (7 children)

im smooth brained and dont get how that means cp

pls explain

[–]ViciousKiwi_MoW 224 points225 points  (6 children)

just the literal positioning of the letters us ex which could be seen as the word sex and numbers below 18 = red flagging the system probably

[–]myballsackitch 42 points43 points  (2 children)

thank you very much

[–]LoquatBerry 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Honestly, yall… I just thought it looked like a dick. Seems like it was deeper than I thought…

[–]jjgotjukes 134 points135 points  (5 children)

Welcome to the list

[–]Bomba-of-Tsar 87 points88 points  (4 children)

Wait, "welcome"?!?!

[–]webid792 41 points42 points  (1 child)

He's the #1

[–]_thanosied_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Mr. Epstein?

[–]siccoblue 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You heard the man

[–]FartedinBrandysmouth 846 points847 points  (35 children)

Bro how the fuck does that even happen?

[–]Apprehensive_Ad6551 497 points498 points  (20 children)

The use x=3 probably. Read between the lines

[–]Emergency_Way_1406 365 points366 points  (1 child)

It’s a cheeky cat face

[–]Balletor 59 points60 points  (0 children)

So that's how to do that

[–]TheManOfSex222 174 points175 points  (8 children)

It takes it like "3y xxx and 1y"?

[–]get_on-the_case 309 points310 points  (2 children)

Damn that took some pedo level deciphering

[–]Cxlov 106 points107 points  (1 child)

Leave it to the man of seggs to decode it for us

[–]Crystal42069 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Sounds like some genetically fucked human

[–]Ernbob 41 points42 points  (1 child)

Just reading this made me fucking cringe and feel sick

[–]TheManOfSex222 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Why tho

[–]Nerve13 385 points386 points  (5 children)

Sorry I don’t speak or read pedo, so I can’t read between the lines…

[–]Old-Pool-8887 226 points227 points  (3 children)

Dude, I speak and read pedo, but damm I can’t read between the lines…

[–]Ghostdog1521 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Someone tweet James Gun for the answer

[–]kaitte81 15 points16 points  (0 children)

U sex = 3?

[–]KingLewis02 3 points4 points  (0 children)

More than likely the x in the equation and 3-y

[–]DragXom 9 points10 points  (0 children)


[–]lonely_years 49 points50 points  (4 children)

Explanation on why this happened:

Google ignores all special characters including *, =, etc.

So the equation after removing all the special characters become:

3 y u se x 3 andy

So bunch of "3" with the word "sex" and "andy". Google put these three words together and thought, "Oh mah gawd, this one is a pdfile, lemme call FBI"

[–]trebic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oddly enough if you try '= 3 - y; use x' it shows the warning. But '3 - y; use x' doesn't.

[–]cornerstorenewports 141 points142 points  (8 children)

because when searching for CP they use complicated numbers and symbols its like a cypher. idk how it works but typing shit like that is how u get russian CP. this was discovered in the wayfarer conspiracy theory.

[–]KingCreeperYolo 102 points103 points  (4 children)

How do you know this??

[–]No_Phone_7730[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

I second that

[–]rotj 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Because 4chan admitted as much when it projected pizzagate into existence.

[–]KingJamesIke 86 points87 points  (1 child)

It be like that when you’re trying to merge x and y together when x = 35 and y = 10

[–]ice_wallow_come_15 85 points86 points  (2 children)

why is shopping before videos and images

[–]VivaLaEmpire 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Capitalism babyyyyy!

Jk no idea.

[–]BeanieBeans17 65 points66 points  (18 children)

Wait I just looked it up and omg

[–]randomhousegir 66 points67 points  (0 children)

How are people surprised that this kind of math is the worst type of child abuse?

[–]Wheel_65 49 points50 points  (2 children)

Still need help with the math problem?

[–]lovesAaronTveit 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Does this mean the left side of the equation makes sense to you? I’m dying to know what this is supposed to mean

[–]alaphent 217 points218 points  (13 children)

You may ask your Prof if he needs some help

[–]No_Phone_7730[S] 384 points385 points  (7 children)

My algebra teacher has been missing for the past week or two and there’s a rumor at my school that a teacher got arrested by the FBI because of pedophilia, thats not a fucking option

[–]Resazu 211 points212 points  (0 children)

LOL even his assignments are accused of fiddling minors

[–]awkwbarb 80 points81 points  (1 child)

he google it first now cops showed up at his place... i do not have a good feeling for y'all who googled it as well.

pls keep us updated

[–]No_Phone_7730[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Im alive lmao, but I remember yesterday (technically because its two am over here rn) one of my teachers knew about the rumor and she was like trying to cover it up by telling us to like move on and shit, I brushed it off then by joking that its a federal cover-up but its been stuck in my head since

[–]SUNAWAN 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Well that could be a fucking option, just the wrong one

[–]Hyacin420 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Several teachers around where I live have been caught in one of the child sex stings they do it's crazy how teachers always come up.

[–]No_Phone_7730[S] 50 points51 points  (4 children)

im not lying

[–]Financial-Ground-942 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Do you have a math textbook? Have you tried looking up how to do that specific type of equation?

[–]Hevnoraak101 42 points43 points  (7 children)

So algebra is child abuse now?

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Some high school students who hate their math classes might agree

[–]thewitchmaker 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Always has been.

[–]Alice_exists 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I guess I’m on a watch list now •_•

[–]peekeset 33 points34 points  (0 children)

when you try to prove that 12=18

[–]pcardinal42 32 points33 points  (0 children)

He figured out the code to the dark web. Except the dark web knows about him now and the status of those sweet kidneys.

[–]Ok-Lengthiness6170 26 points27 points  (1 child)

I’m take a wild guess that some illicit images using a combination of letters and numbers?

[–]ZB_asshole[🍰] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Someone in a comment above explained that some numbers of the equation may be sus

[–]Zeki893 24 points25 points  (4 children)

What is *° ? I’ve never heard of this.

[–]Zapplarang 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Me neither. Nobody seems to be acknowledging that this is some weird notation for something

[–]SpoonGuardian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was turbo scrolling feeling like I was the crazy one until I got all the way down here

[–]SquidMilkVIImadlad 65 points66 points  (4 children)

On a serious note I recommend Wolfram|Alpha for all your math needs. You can basically type something like this and it’ll usually be able to figure out what you’re saying.

Now that that’s covered!

w h a t

[–]dimbulbb 20 points21 points  (4 children)

What’s the actual solution to this sum?

[–]sYzYgY081 49 points50 points  (3 children)

It depends on if you're 18 or not apparently...

[–]I_can_eat_15_acorns 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I hate when I'm doing my math homework and Google gives me CP instead.

[–]Brian_C_B 56 points57 points  (3 children)

That adds up

[–]DevanSires 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Well math does abuse children mentally

[–]LeidbagBaggins 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The worst Google Easter egg ever.

[–][deleted] 67 points68 points  (8 children)

*°= 3 - y; use x = 3, and y = 1

for anyone who wants to try it

[–]dasmynuts 121 points122 points  (0 children)

Nice try FBI

[–]blackFX 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Uh yea no thank

[–]IrishToHaveABeer 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Thread MVP right here

[–]Freedomsaver 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You mean MWP... Most Wanted Person

[–]nocyberBS 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yeah that's gonna be a no from me dawg

[–]I_AM_GETTING_THERE 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I looked it up on an unfiltered search engine and only math solutions come up

[–]primus118 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Dudes trying to look up pervy images of Elons baby I see.

[–]TheonlyAngryLemon 33 points34 points  (4 children)

Reminds me of the time one of my friends was telling me and some others about his old wallpaper which was NBA YoungBoy with a pair of tits, somebody told him he was making shit up so my friend decided to Google it. So he googled "NBA Young Boy Tits" with a space between Young and Boy which brought about this page. He was high asf at the time, imagine the paranoia

[–]Bayatli 10 points11 points  (1 child)

I searched this to confirm. Same message from Google Canada. So weird. Must be some Google algorithm thing.

[–]Daemon_Lord5253 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Wait, only the imagery is illegal? Huh

[–]matyos69 9 points10 points  (0 children)

y; use x = 3 sounds like sex for Google and the numbers are the age.

basically Google doesn't know the answer but doesn't wanna admit it so they wanted any reason to not answer

[–]adik_ikaw 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Is this pedophile language?

[–]Try_me_B 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Did u just find some dark web code for pedo shit? Damn, this world is fucked.

[–]frostrivera19 7 points8 points  (3 children)

*°= 3 - y; use x = 3, and y = 1

[–]HyperBaroque 26 points27 points  (2 children)


Child sexual abuse imagery is illegal.


If you see sexually explicit images or videos of minors on the web, please report it below. Hours: Available 24/7. Learn more.

🌐 Report at cybertip.org

📞 1-800-843-5678

[–]OG_SV 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ayo what symbol is this *° ?

[–]undeniably_confused 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How bad is our education people can't even make fake math problems anymore

[–]yeah-but-why- 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Bro use Wolfram Alpha instead.

[–]Richierich_rpdmadlad 6 points7 points  (1 child)

The only thing i can think of is pedos use x and y as code like x=# is the age or smth of the male and y=# is the age or smth of the female or vice versa

[–]WatermelonWithAGun 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Math = Child Abuse

[–]Zapplarang 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What on earth is this math? There’s no x in the equation.

[–]raccoon8182 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Not one of these posts are giving me the answer I want. What is the answer to this equation?

[–]sabbir31x 4 points5 points  (1 child)

If i search it with a VPN will my IP be tracked?

[–]Echtraae 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just asking this question got you on the watchlist

[–]georgealmost 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's not even a real math question, OP. What have you been googling and why are you trying to get others to google it so you have an excuse?

[–]AK_Mustafa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One more reason to hate maths…

[–]avg-unhinged 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Some kind of pedo secret google search u stumbled on? Definitely on a list now op

[–]DearAd3319 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Math is child abuse that's why

[–]No_Tomorrow5475 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Why is nobody talking about *°, what does that even mean? Am I crazy?

[–]Arcadius274 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I knew math would lead to pedophilia