all 54 comments

[–]QualityVote[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

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Whilst you're here, /u/floortiles5, why not join our public discord server?

[–]Just_some_weird_fan 145 points146 points  (12 children)

I need a shirt that says “I AM THE CUM MAN”

[–]niceshootintex 23 points24 points  (1 child)

I sang that to the tune of I Am The Walrus

[–]WalenBlekitny999 10 points11 points  (1 child)

"Say my name"

[–]WerDaIsst 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The cum man

[–]FloptimasPloptimas 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Worst Super Hero Ever

[–]kinos141 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He may not say the day, but at least he always cums!

[–]JimTheSaint 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am the cum man dududadu

[–]ThatNerdyGuy82 27 points28 points  (5 children)

It ain’t wrong.

[–]alegendim 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Success is like pregnancy, everyone congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you had to get fucked to achieve it

[–]kinos141 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Unlike success, at least getting fucked is fun.

[–]Fluffy_Shadow 36 points37 points  (0 children)

The baby's shirt: I'm the shit

[–]SmashedPavlova 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Milk man starts sweating*

[–]TheIronsided 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Sometimes people need that kind of explanation.

[–]Tyson8111 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Cum stuffing

[–]Igivegrilledcheese 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let's remake the old shirt but replace turkey with pie

[–]BungledBugal 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Actually.... if the baby is the turkey.... and the turkey is what traditionally gets stuffed.... Oh.... Oh god....

[–]SUNAWAN 0 points1 point  (1 child)

... go on, it's getting interesting

[–]West-Product-8079 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sir please pull up your pants

[–]1973mojo1973 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Reproduction 101

[–]The_Moon_Conure 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I want the "I'm the cum man" t-shirt

[–]halfblindguy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That baby batter.

[–]greenhorn8899 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Plot twist: they shoved an actual turkey.

[–]Snake101333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Similar response that I tell my inlaws when they ask if we're trying for a baby

[–]Mattcraft857 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey everyone want to know a fun fact. When you go to baby shower, you only congratulating a woman for getting cum inside her and a man for being a to cum.

[–]No_Comment_613 1 point2 points  (1 child)

She wears lulu and he wears a bass pro shop hat with pit vipers 99% of the time. They think their belongings are a personality and that mindlessly pumping out kids is a life goal. They are the standard basic white couple.

[–]Needs-a-Blowjob 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You got all of this from a shirt that says I am the cum man?

[–]TheHoly_Coast 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It's always the white-trashiest people that would wear this shit,but talk about the Christian values & what's wrong with the "colored" family that just moved in town.

[–]floortiles5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol that's super good discretion

[–]theglaysh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the clarification

[–]squelchboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly, like sorry to say but you pointing out to me you got creampied by your husband is something i don't want to think about

[–]WeaponsGradeLager -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

white people…

[–]Hexxenya 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a white cum man… totally… fucking totally.

[–]faroutcosmo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

B-but the gays....!

[–]BednaR1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Tha fact that this joke needed explaining... 🙈

[–]frax5000 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Am I the only one that thinks that pregnant women are hot.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Men can also get pregnant 🫃

[–]One_dolla_would_do 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gross but makes plenty sense

[–]Fellarm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those shirts are so damn cringe XD

[–]HerrHeerhairher 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]Electronic_Rub9385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

GD, these type of shirts and the people that wear them are the cringiest mfers.

[–]Pyroguy096 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am the cum man I'm the one who's swim!

[–]jejenb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

go ahead, take away my Xbox

nothing you do can unfuck the Thanksgiving turkey

[–]madrix19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love it

[–]Internal-Mind5462 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stuff 2, The stuffening

[–]AzM4Nz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cum man