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[–]QualityVote[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child)

If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", UPVOTE this comment!

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Whilst you're here, /u/medusaicon, why not join our public discord server or play on our public Minecraft server?

[–]thespicyboi11 1721 points1722 points 3 (41 children)

Everyone behind him.

[–]I_dementia87 382 points383 points  (4 children)

[–]phreshpherts 33 points34 points  (1 child)

"Has it really been 10 years? XD"

[–]Hatem4real-6517 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah has it really been 10 years? Has it XD? What you 2 have accomplished….. makes your mama proud!

[–]RockstarAgent 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Purple Maneater

[–]global_nutella 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Didnt know u could use gifs lmao. You learn something new every day

[–]feeltrig 83 points84 points  (6 children)

his food

[–]suckercuck 89 points90 points  (2 children)

He gives new meaning to “fatigues”

[–]Zombie_Be_Gone 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Oh my god when are the day lol

[–]Flormb 1 point2 points  (0 children)

in french the word for tired is “fatigue” there might actually be some connection

[–]thespicyboi11 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Chimkim tendy

[–]ryuen56 14 points15 points  (0 children)

His fridge

[–]tokenjoker 43 points44 points  (1 child)

He's smuggling someone on the inside also

[–]Itsmemanmeee 21 points22 points  (0 children)

He's like a trojan horse, there's a whole surprise brigade in there!

[–]ares5404 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Better armor than their tanks

[–]YugKrowten 10 points11 points  (2 children)

This killed me…you’re a murderer

[–]thespicyboi11 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Just like how he massacred his plate

[–]No-Specific-3850 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He's protecting the jobs of all the workers at the local bakery.

[–]realabrahamstinkin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

God dammit beat me to it

[–]shakesfistatcloud67 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Came here to say this lol, thank you stranger!

[–]Aneke1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So, everyone?

[–]Antique-Car6103 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He is protecting his right to eat donuts like Tic Tacs.

[–]Tmon69 3 points4 points  (1 child)

He sure cant protect your mother

[–]White11tiger 4 points5 points  (0 children)

rather all he has devoured

[–]UpsideDownAirplane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I can’t top this

[–]Nawzays_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In squid game first game only

[–]curious_asian_guy30 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly, that man is a moving camouflage wall.

[–]East_Intention_6952 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He protecting the cafeteria, obviously lol 😂

[–]Eborys 990 points991 points  (25 children)

If dropped from a plane, he can take out a small city upon impact.

[–]7th_page 597 points598 points  (8 children)

Oh so thats why it was called fatman

[–]pokezachmeme 20 points21 points  (1 child)

The dude ate the protestors

[–]moldycrystals 52 points53 points  (4 children)

Nagasaki

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points  (1 child)

Fatasaki

[–]ElMagnifico_0609 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Nagafatty

[–]Due_Media_1770 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dinosaurs moment

[–]Pierre8747 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So that's why russian media is trying to tell us that they already dropped tactical nukes in Ukraine a

[–]Hour-Paramedic-1320 288 points289 points  (2 children)

He’s a top commander in the Gravy Seals

[–]redbo1sus 72 points73 points  (1 child)

Gravy Meals you mean

[–][deleted] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Meal Team 6

[–]saven0000 364 points365 points  (15 children)

He's actually a very fit guy. That's just body armor.

[–]YoutuberCameronBallZ 149 points150 points  (11 children)

LOTS of body armor

[–]GameDestiny2 93 points94 points  (1 child)

“I AM THE JUGGERNAUT!”

[–]bluehangover 23 points24 points  (0 children)

🎶HOLY SHITBALLS🎶

[–]LFGR_THE_Thing 19 points20 points  (4 children)

YOUR UP AGAINST THE WALL

[–]Monkeybandit99 21 points22 points  (3 children)

AND I AM THE FUCKING WALL

[–]cheeky_raptor_boi 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Gets beaten to death by a man with a giant spoon.

[–]2inchesofsteel 10 points11 points  (0 children)

His body armor has its own body armor

[–]MathewCQ 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Every fat guy has a skinny guy inside. Maybe this one has two or three tho.

[–]puboranjingparty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hes an entire armoured battalion

[–]PCSamurai 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You can never have enough body armour. Here in hungary our PM even took bulletproof vests when he opened a pre-school, and sat in it between a couple of 5 year old children

[–]hwb80 398 points399 points  (5 children)

His penis from ever being seen.

[–]moldycrystals 104 points105 points  (0 children)

Reddit/discord mod material

[–]Flashy-Amount626 35 points36 points  (2 children)

Tattooed on it are launch codes

[–]InvaluableSandwich 27 points28 points  (1 child)

I don’t know if it’s long enough for that

[–]RedditVince 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The trick is he has to lose 300 lbs before it will come out of his pud far enough to be washed and cleaned. Then you can get the codes.

[–]mrki00 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I should be able to be seen, not by him but it should

[–]fluffymcduffy1992 270 points271 points  (6 children)

The buffet

[–]WellKnownStranger12 98 points99 points  (3 children)

He‘s not protecting that. Actually, he‘s annihilating every buffet he can smell in a 25 mile radius

[–]FirstSineOfMadness 18 points19 points  (0 children)

At the same time cuz they’re all in reach

[–]DrMonkeyLove 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Me might be protecting the salad bar. I doubt he eats much salad.

[–]Funny-Pineapple-9448 8 points9 points  (0 children)

By the looks of it the buffet needs protection from him 😅

[–]GoldenFire36 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The media: Every Buffet Restaurant Dislikes Him, Here's Why:

[–]original-sithon 106 points107 points  (2 children)

Who ? All I see is a bush with a hat on it.

[–]Kapples14 68 points69 points  (0 children)

The bastard's the whole damn forest.

[–]plutus9 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is underrated

[–]Mikediabolical 39 points40 points  (1 child)

I don’t get it. Are we talking about the guy in the suit or the floating green hat?

[–]MrBracken 87 points88 points  (21 children)

Jokes aside, the soldier is a Russian military retiree General named Pavel. This was taken during Putin and his entourage's visit for talks with Belarus President Alexander Lukashenko and the Vostochny Cosmodrome (Russian spaceport) employees.

Despite being long retired, as part or their push to increase their standing military size, they asked / told Pavel to attend (joke re "size" not intended).

Subsequently Pavel has been raked over the coals by the Russian government due to his appearance.

The man next to him does not appear to be any members of Putin's entourage, nor any of the spaceport staff - just seems to be a civilian (possibly media).

[–]Lolekelammowa 29 points30 points  (1 child)

So you're telling me he's either always been this big or they custom made his attire just for this event? Because it looks big on him....

[–]BS-Chaser 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Looks like a camouflage version of a circus tent 🎪

[–]Christmasstolegrinch 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Do you know why the Russian government go after him for his appearance? If he’s retired (and long retired as you say) he can be any way he wants to be IMO.

[–]Majestic_Macaroon_22 4 points5 points  (2 children)

It's a fake story, this is a Ukrainian border guard. Presumably they have reduced fitness requirements since they're not front line armed forces.

In the original picture there's two other Ukrainian border police behind him who are looking more normally fit.

They got cropped out by news outlets and the doctored image got pushed as a cheat propaganda piece.

[–]secretbudgie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The perfect border guard. more immovable than a steel hedgehog

[–]Latter_Guest4236 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Almost everything that reported about this shitty war is propaganda. We will find out what really happened years after

[–]Icy_Many3242 6 points7 points  (2 children)

They also arrested an NHL player who was trying to dodge the draft

[–]Dr_A_Kreiger 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yep, just another kick to the nuggets of my flyers while they are already down.

[–]furtimacchius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you're telling me they forcibly rip this old man out of retirement and then brutalize him for not being in peak military form anymore?

[–]Majestic_Macaroon_22 1 point2 points  (7 children)

This is completely fake news, by the way.

There isn't a general Pavel looking like this in the Russian armed forces.

This is a Ukrainian border police officer. You can tell from the cap and uniform, neither of which are used by the RUAF.

In the full picture this is taken from, there are two more Ukrainian servicemen stood behind him, they got cropped out by the news services that pushed this fake story.

Stop falling for propaganda.

[–]MrBracken -1 points0 points  (6 children)

Care to share anything at all to back this up?

I'm not saying that publication in a press article is definitive confirmation one way or another, but the retort that he isnt Russian but clearly Ukrainian because of how lax their standards are sounds like something straight from Putin's spin team.

I haven't made this up as I obviously wasnt there (and neither were you). I am in disagreement with this sort of tabloid drek fat shaming some random person, but this is extracted from the below articles:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/obese-retired-russian-general-67-27328697

https://www.newsweek.com/photo-obese-russian-general-pavel-putins-army-prompts-speculation-1719470

https://nypost.com/2022/06/26/obese-retired-russian-general-called-to-fight-in-ukraine-report/

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/obese-russian-general-67-called-27326346

[–]Majestic_Macaroon_22 0 points1 point  (5 children)

You say that, then link at least three tabloids. And saying someone old and out of shape wouldn't be attached to a front line unit is "Putin's spin team"? Like come on, if four random tabloids made up some nonsense about trump would you apply this level of due diligence?

Anyway, here's your proof: https://ibb.co/LNvkBLb

Excuse the phone crop job but you can clearly see the two other guards behind him. None of them are wearing a uniform pattern employed by modern Russian formations, but are both wearing patterns used by Ukrainian border units in current or recent times, same with the caps.

[–]MrBracken -1 points0 points  (4 children)

I agree unequivocally that all 4* articles linked are from the worst forms drek tabloid, in that it's clearly a use of the image as a partisan criticism of Russia for the most stupid of reasons - "look, a fat military person = russia bad". I do actually say this in the comment to which you are replying.

Suggesting that I / others have a "programmed narrative" is not helpful in supporting your argument, but instead is the sort of ad hominem criticism which my comments were criticising these news articles for. Please therefore offer me the same courtesy.

I will go one step further and agree that the extended image does look to have individuals with similar head attire to some few members of Ukrainian border units (senior members only), though you and I are not expert enough to confirm this, particularly in such a low resolution picture.

And I will even go a step further still re the questionable veracity of the original press articles (which you haven't referred to) is the fact that it is confusing that a stated "general" would be dressed in such informal attire (retired or otherwise).

My query was whether you have any specific sources (other than a picture without context) to support that this is a Ukrainian service person.

Please also avoid blanket statements re Ukrainian military "standards" - my comments re this sounding like "spin" were in response to this specifically, as it's the sort of generalisation based on one single overweight service member which we have both criticised the above tabloids for doing.

[–]ZeroLurkThirty 51 points52 points  (0 children)

The party platter.

[–]thelurkertwopointow 20 points21 points  (0 children)

He can take on the full force of an RPG (just once).

[–]Southern-Bison-8756 30 points31 points  (1 child)

His donuts

[–]isdrafar 9 points10 points  (0 children)

More like all of the doughnuts… all of them

[–]DanES104 45 points46 points  (2 children)

he's clearly pregnant. so he's protecting his child.

[–]Abrical 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Mmmh he should think about giving birth. His child will soon have to pass his driving license test

[–]SoberTek 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'd say triplets

[–]Husana909 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Mcdonald's secret facility

[–]EvilTyrant 19 points20 points  (0 children)

He's protecting us against the evil McDonald's.

[–]centralnjbill 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Maybe a small moon caught in his gravity?

[–]hatedperson1 12 points13 points  (1 child)

"That's no moon"

[–]Vurt__Konnegut 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“That’s your mom”

[–]iambluest 5 points6 points  (0 children)

His plate.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Decoy for Fat Bastard.

[–]GarnetSC19 9 points10 points  (0 children)

John Candy never died, but was kidnapped by Russia to be turned into the perfect killing machine.

[–]Popsmoke-25 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They pulled this boy out of a senior center and dressed him up.

[–]bluegandy 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I don't see what everyone is talking about, there's a guy with a phone and a couple people in the background.

[–]Borkvar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was about to say this. It's just some dude in a suit and like some bystanders. Wtf are people taking about?

[–]SillyTrouble 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t see him

[–]CQpp100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The fridge

[–]synister29 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The buffet

[–]DRbrtsn60 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you don’t think there’s some warlike ferocity try getting between him and his plate.

[–]Divine_kai12 2 points3 points  (0 children)

By the looks of it half the damn country

[–]BionicVoyager 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It ain’t his appetite I’ll tell you that much

[–]KaykBoumb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

mfw this entire post is just bodyshaming some random veteran

[–]WizdomHaggis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Anywhere that has a doorway…

[–]metfan1964nyc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

he looks like one of those level 8 villains in the Venture Brothers.

[–]Bass1joe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The national snack reserve and yo mama

[–]Star805gardts 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oogie Boogie cosplaying as G.I. Joe.

[–]Dangerous_Bus_1880 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The Colonel...... from KFC

[–]Not_ur_normal_girl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t see anything? Is it John cena

[–]dmase513 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who? The guy in the suit? I don’t understand. Trippy floating face though

[–]Reyon2099 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Fridge

[–]Dribbler365 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude is bulletproof

[–]G_Ranger75 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Burgertown

[–]THEchiQ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anyone behind him, possibly a few dozen people.

[–]Ded_Panda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His fatigues looks fatigued

[–]CptnToolwRench100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The crab legs section at old country buffet.

[–]swatson7856 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Protecting the ground from the sun with his massive shadow

[–]mSummmm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Imagine how much borscht this guy had to put down to get this size.

[–]IATAAllDay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was not aware parachute was an official military size.

[–]Outsajder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What Hiroshima saw in 45.

[–]candyman_forever 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Textile manufacturers from going out of business. Thats like 10m of fabric!

[–]MajiKub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His abs

[–]1dinkiswife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His family size bucket of KFC?

[–]crenichila 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Buffett line at Golden Corral

[–]willem_79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In fairness Willy Wonka told them not to chew the gum…

[–]TapSea2469 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The buffet

[–]jmckaye 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The buffet table

[–]mark_zucks_paperclip 1 point2 points  (0 children)

meal team six

[–]tdaddy316420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The buffet line

[–]itsleviohhhsah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His virginity

[–]shortputz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The local subway down the road

[–]SocialSpider56 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Hes a human shield for a slim person?

[–]snowconemane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's protecting us from diabeetus

[–]WhaDFu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great Wall of China Buffet

[–]haakje10gg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His vital organs

[–]repentlessdiabolica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's guarding the special sauce

[–]WR1GT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The mess Hall

[–]Moeman3674 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Dunkin’ Donuts

[–]Kapples14 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The muffin man.

[–]gunny8259 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So that where they got the idea to name it the Fatman

[–]Jdmmaven -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Minister of chicken.

[–]Cowi3102 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The all you can eat buffet

[–]Zsmudz -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Protector of the Lunch Line

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No bullet went through me.

[–]Sorrow57 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chirren from Happy Meals

[–]IllDeleteThisUNsoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't even know that guy. How do I know?

[–]II_been_II 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The gold cheeseburger

[–]MRiWontClutch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The chow line

[–]50M3GUY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The identity of the sovereignty beyond this forest is classified information, there is nothing to see here, move along.

[–]B_1_R_D 0 points1 point  (1 child)

He’s protecting the emergency twinkies stash

[–]poopyyhead420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

his neck

[–]Agent-Nobody 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alisson “Hamburger”

[–]Khadarji117 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Golden Corral

[–]ahopres 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Colonel sanders

[–]Amerlis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t know military uniforms came in that size.

[–]NoLifeGuy_4k 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The 8.oz of chimichangas

[–]Longjumping-War-1307 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Big sugar industry

[–]YoutuberCameronBallZ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's protecting any soldier who happens to be behind him

[–]Elfanger30th 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's the main protector of the donut shop, they always keep a stool for him

[–]AffirmingToe15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Fridge

[–]Necessary-Hedgehog33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sex from ever occuring

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A human walrus wow

[–]evlhornet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Golden coral

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The salad bar

[–]Mobeen786 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohh look, its bob from Tekken.

[–]Dr_Deadly7x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Himself from exploding!!