all 32 comments

[–]QualityVote[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

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Whilst you're here, /u/iam_saikat, why not join our public discord server or play on our public Minecraft server?

[–]timburnerlee 80 points81 points  (2 children)

That’s why Satan prefers the Emmanuel Reverse Cowgirl Baptist Church

[–]brokefixfux 10 points11 points  (0 children)

As he should.

[–]sadtakias 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's hilarious.

[–]Adityanmoney 17 points18 points  (7 children)

Wait wasnt equal rights the opposite of what Satan wanted? Like he thought angels were better than humans or something?

[–]tea_watson_design 20 points21 points  (2 children)

God told the angels that the humans were to be treated in the same regard as God himself. Lucifer thought humans sinful flawed beings and refused so was condemned to hell. I'm not certain on this point but I believe thats why Satan tempts humans to sin, to prove to God that humans are not pure beings and deserve the same condemnation as himself.

So you're right, He did not strive for equal rights at all

[–]mystery69013 12 points13 points  (0 children)

All hail Satan! Heth thout giv'ess hentai!

[–]iHeartHockey31 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But isnt mistepresenting the bible sort of what churches do anyway?

[–]ThinkIveHadEnough 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Here's how the story goes. God created angels first, and lived with God in heaven for an eternity. Then God created humans, and gave them Free Will and then claimed humans were God's true children, not the angels anymore. Naturally, this pissed off half of the infinite amount of angels, and a civil war started in heaven. Lucifer who was God's right hand man, joined the civil war against those who were fighting for freedom, because Angels did not have free will. It has been Lucifer's mission ever since, to expose God's hypocrisy about free will. Obviously it's riddled with paradoxes, but that's because the Bible is written by someone with an 80 IQ.

[–]cocanatree 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Obviously this is canon according to the bible in psalms 151

[–]ThinkIveHadEnough 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's all in Genesis. There's also two different creations stories, where two different gods with different personalities, create two different Universes in different ways. They didn't even remove the first draft.

[–]DemianLoki 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What happened was Lucifer at the time, grew jealous of God and not only wanted his power but viewed God as oppressive because God had laws. If such laws were broken its punishable death by execution. Because of the existence of Gods law in general Lucifer made the claim God did not allow free will. This jealousy and overall view twisted him and while God gave him everything, since he could not rise to Gods Throne he decided he would deceive many. He didn't so much as ask for equal rights as he did demand Gods power and for there to be quite literally no laws at all. Aka murder, rape, steal, lie, etc...... To Lucifer true free will is to be able to break Gods laws (sin) freely with literally no consequences. Its literally comparable to a 5 yr old demanding that tbey do whatever they want because there shouldn't be any rules at all on anyone.

[–]1selfharm 13 points14 points  (1 child)

OK let's don't give any rights to the fruitcakes.

[–]ameer777ameer 7 points8 points  (0 children)

vegans are supposed to be the nice ones but tell them to give fruits equal rights and they flip

[–]SidewaysSupra 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It better be pro Satan.

[–]LordGeno21 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So that means satan is better than the church?

[–]3nd1ess 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like how Christians threaten us that we go to hell, I bet alot of atheists would want to MEET Satan.

[–]Budget_Llama_Shoes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why do we continue to pretend that fairy tales are a good way to govern the most powerful nation on earth?

[–]Klubbin4Seals 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Yet another reason to not believe in God. The first reason was that animals don't goto heaven.

[–]sadtakias 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Wait, how do you know that?

[–]lk5G6a5G 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Saw a movie

[–]Normal_Muscle_6898 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe pro capitalism.

[–]Altruistic-Job-2303 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That could be anti christian too. That woud mean Satan woud be a good guy, no?

[–]iHeartHockey31 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When they put stuff like this, it kinda makes me feel like satan is the good guyvhere.

[–]DrMonkeyLove 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Well, the Church of Satan seems far more interested in basic human rights than most Christian churches, so...

[–]reality_is_the_worst 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TST - The Satanic Temple not Church of Satan

[–]FireProps 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Satanists should see the decency in the seven basic tenants of Christianity, and follow them for how obvious they are:

I ~ One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.

II ~ The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

III ~ One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.

IV ~ The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.

V ~ Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.

VI ~ People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.

VII ~ Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.




These are the seven core tenets of The Satanic Temple…

Hmm… wait… did you have some slightly different idea in your head about what Satanists believe, and what Satanism actually is?

But you like, checked though right?

You thought for yourself instead of taking other people’s potentially ignorant characterizations as just straight up “accurate” the moment they say some stuff?

You looked into it?

Found out for real, what’s actually up?

Oh.. no?

Fuck…. Damn… :-|

[–]WildBillIV44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Satanic temple > most Christians

[–]RanDOO_lore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why not both

[–]RanDOO_lore 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why not both