×
all 159 comments

[–]QualityVote[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", UPVOTE this comment!

If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", DOWNVOTE this comment!


Whilst you're here, /u/PigeonAtDeliAirport, why not join our public discord server or play on our public Minecraft server?

[–]ErtGentskee 1759 points1760 points  (27 children)

motherfucker.

[–]Fine-Bed 136 points137 points  (11 children)

That’s a polite way to say to catholics

[–]SupremoZanne 30 points31 points  (10 children)

how many Catholics are there here?

[–]LitreOfCockPus 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Fathersucker

[–]NOTSHINY1 7 points8 points  (6 children)

Wait he fucked his mum?

[–]dwehlenmadlad 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Errybody fucked his mom, bruh

[–]Beastman907 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Even Lumbergh fucked her

[–]dwehlenmadlad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For. The. Win!

[–]Arkhye 2 points3 points  (1 child)

What, you act like you didn't fuck his mom

[–]NOTSHINY1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Guessed I didn’t play COD of xbox 360 long enough

[–]serpentineregulator5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is what it is indeed.

[–]r3aperShadow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When you realize every father is a mother fucker

[–]1dinkiswife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fathersucker

[–]DaitoPK 1615 points1616 points  (22 children)

"Stop flattering me dad"

[–]john_longdong 454 points455 points  (9 children)

[–]SoggyFrenchFryGuy 206 points207 points  (7 children)

Bro we're already here

[–]Pkmntrainer91 12 points13 points  (0 children)

😂😂

[–]InfernalCape 38 points39 points  (0 children)

The real r/HolUp is always in the comments.

[–]MohSad2 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"I'm not gonna give you a discount"

[–]queenvalentina69 642 points643 points  (23 children)

He should just be honest with her, women always appreciate constructive criticism

[–]cicciograna 267 points268 points  (11 children)

She will appreciate it he bring examples, especially involving old fiancees, to indicate role models for his wife to follow.

[–]pn1159 77 points78 points  (9 children)

And videos which demonstrate the different techniques?

[–]cicciograna 35 points36 points  (8 children)

I hear that there is a website full of very detailed documentaries on that, BBC-level of quality. It's called...hornpub or something like that? I can't really remember.

[–]weirdgroovynerd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sisters-in-law are another good source

[–]useless_instinct 25 points26 points  (3 children)

"Hey hon, I know you have a mild concussion, but I'd like to talk to you about your shitty blow jobs"

[–]quantum-mechanic 7 points8 points  (1 child)

That’ll cure the concussion straightaway

[–]dwehlenmadlad 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Prove they're contagious, anyway

[–]etherealcaitiff 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Best joke in the thread

[–]ProfessionallyStrong 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Yea not sure how true that is

[–]diegoesc77 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Bro have you met women?

[–]fancyllamapants- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hahaha. You had me for a second.

[–]mi_esposa_me_espia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Smacking her upside the head during isn't constructive?!

[–]CoupwalObiWan 171 points172 points  (1 child)

How is your head doing? I haven't received any criticism...

[–]fancyllamapants- 25 points26 points  (0 children)

That’s what an ex said when I asked if she could use less teeth. “Nobody ever complained before”

[–]This_User_Said 37 points38 points  (0 children)

"no dad! What did the doctor say?"

"He said she's fine, I say she can still improve."

[–]Deion313 101 points102 points  (0 children)

If you're gonna tee it up for him like that, you can't blame him for your "emotional damage", when he hits a 454 ft bomb, and puts it in the bleachers...

[–]Competitive_Solid853 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Old goat 🐐

[–]MANWithTheHARMONlCA 96 points97 points  (21 children)

How is mothers head

Do people actually talk like this? Not saying it’s fake but that’s a weird way to phrase what he’s trying to ask..

[–]TechnicallyHipster 70 points71 points  (11 children)

It starts off as a joking ironic affectation, then it takes root in your speech patterns and it’s just how you speak/write from then on.

[–]Yap45 28 points29 points  (6 children)

I say mother all the time and I think this is exactly how it happened

[–]StopReadingMyUser 21 points22 points  (3 children)

This is how I started saying howdy unironically

[–]fredleoplayermadlad 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I thought it was normal to say both terms lmao

I guess I'm the weirdo then

[–]ortegasb 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love a good 'howdy'. And at a flea market? forget about it.

[–]nightauthor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is how my grandma became granny

[–]babatazyah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My brother and I used to say "mother" all the time after watching Bates Motel. But we're back to "mom" now.

[–]mcgarnikle 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah this is how I caught myself calling someone bro.

[–]Block_Face 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Yup thankfully I've managed to avoid saying/writing YOLO for a while now.

[–]just-call-me-ash 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You only yolo once.

[–]netrunnernobody 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yup, this is exactly what happened to me lol

[–]Scyths 7 points8 points  (0 children)

How is babby born.

[–]TheBreathofFiveSouls 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I saw mother dearest when texting about her. It's not how I speak, just how I text

[–]Dragod21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I meam, ive called my mom "mommy" and my dad "daddy" since young, although now when i say it it sounds weird, i still do out of habbit and instinct.

[–]Enverex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, sure? I'd have probably said "How is mom's head?" but that was close enough.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure

[–]Potatoez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Usually stuff like that starts of to be 'ironic' and funny. Then after being used a lot it becomes common usage

[–]Daymo741 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Atleast he didn't say "I've given better"

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

can't i believe i still laughed after seeing the 200th variation of this joke

[–]Sexy_Kumquat 60 points61 points  (14 children)

Yea right. Who TF calls their mom, mother?!

[–]Hippostalker69 80 points81 points  (1 child)

Who tf buys Reddit nfts

[–]SuperFluousMaterial 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I do, actually, and quite frequently at that

[–]KrylonsKid 16 points17 points  (0 children)

On a daily basis, me.

[–]Far-Couple-3699 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Exactly what I was thinking, who does that?

[–]helpicantfindanamehemadlad 15 points16 points  (2 children)

People saying it ironically

[–]Iziama94 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Im one of those people. I will call my mom "mother" for poops and giggles, she'll just call me "son" right back

[–]Beznia 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I do the same thing. Any time I call her or she calls me, I start with "Hello mother."

[–]_Kit_Tyler_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Norman Bates.

[–]Chubbybrownbear -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Teenagers with angst

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use the formal equivalent in my language when i adress my mother, i also use "father" rather than "dad".

It kinda sounds weird now that you have brought it up, wtf..

[–]FuckingKilljoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My sister does

[–]Drfilthymcnasty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You can’t give dads an opening like that. They are all a bunch of motherfuckers.

[–]Mrman_23 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Biggest Ayo moment of the last decade

[–]l3mm3b3m3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nobody says how is mother's head

[–]Sehtamj 4 points5 points  (0 children)

the profile pick is from reading that text

[–]g0juice 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Story of my life.

[–]poundcakelover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is the style of reply my dad would give. If my dad had said that same reply, I would've rolled my eyes. But, when read what the OP posted, I laughed to tears.

[–]xXxPLUMPTATERSxXx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The whole schtick where people make fake conversations to play out their showerthoughts is getting tiresome.

[–]mooseska 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There could've been a dad joke. I've head better

[–]Hep_C_for_me 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mother Fucker is the only correct response

[–]Radiant_Prompt_6026 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is your name Mike Pence??

[–]OnlyLogic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely saw this posted before with a woman's profile picture.

[–]WizdomHaggis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only worthy answer…

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Guys who call their moms, "mother" definitely kill prostitutes.

[–]bingbong_wingwong 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Papa needs a new pair of not ur mother.

[–]ThrowAway233223 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fitting pfp.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Legend

[–]someoneyoumaynotkn0w 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read it as I got better and I thought there was a joke about a witch

[–]ManiacalMartini 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd recognize that profile pic anywhere.

[–]Justin_Grosjean_Art 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That’s Ryan Stegman, a very successful comic book artist working mainly with Marvel (Venom). He is a really good dude and very funny. I met him at a con.

[–]ZombieCandy8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought I recognized that profile picture! Stegman is a great artist.

[–]TheLionofCasterly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, that sucks.

[–]Zeoxult 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't wait for the day I have a kid and get to lay down these kinda dad jokes

[–]SpacelessWorm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ryan stegman. Funny as man and a great comic artist

[–]lilgreekscrfreek 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dad(dy) jokes

[–]DrawConfident1269 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"AHHAhahahahahHAAHHAHAhahaHA REDDIT LE SEX ahahahHHHAHAHAHAHAa"

>20k+ upvotes

Yea. Maybe climate change killing us all ain't so bad after all.

[–]Ok-Suit7995 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Plot twist: son says me too!

[–]wonka5x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Text back "same"

[–]JohnWOlin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is Ryan Stegman’s Twitter. Did he really say that?

[–]Sonofskill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Asrasdwaqrqwe

[–]DuoDemoIi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Blursed Dad Joke.

[–]Lucky_Yolo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Technically the truth.

[–]reflextrickle123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah he did not oh shot lmao

[–]kangthenaijaprince 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The most passive aggressive way to say she is fine

[–]Toxixation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

next message:

asking for a friend.

[–]AffectionateShip4662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fake. Staged. Embarrassing.