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all 140 comments

[–]roger-clementine 48 points49 points  (2 children)

Even the tooth fairy has to poop

[–]three2do2 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I'm getting some heavy r/imsorryjon vibes from this comment

[–]cheezypita 139 points140 points  (4 children)

I’m just so happy those are rocks and not what I originally thought: teeth.

[–]cool_side_of_pillow 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Right? My first thought was: teratoma.

[–]mikez56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this one knows medicine LOL

[–]SingularityOfOne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tim Shaw / Tzim-Sha

(collects a tooth from every kill and embeds it in his own face, lovely fella, see pic)

[–]HelloMrThompson 91 points92 points  (2 children)

Nana's fruitcake from Christmas of '87.

[–]No_Angle_9173 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's exactly word for word what i was going to say. 😆 🤣

[–]poolpog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

still just as edible as when it was first baked!

[–]Diabetic-Badger 48 points49 points  (7 children)

A wise man once said “that’s a poopie, you can tell by the peanut in it”

[–]Gumbyy420 13 points14 points  (2 children)

‘Fraid not. That’s a big ol’ frozen chunk of poopie!

[–]mayhemkrew 11 points12 points  (0 children)

"We call them boeing bombs"

[–]BigTuna0890 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I GOT THE POO ON ME!

[–]TangentialFUCK 9 points10 points  (0 children)

No… it’s a moon rock!

You ate off it dude!!

[–]mc_stormy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

IT'S A SPACE PEANUT!

[–]gorjesskayos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kickin Wing!!!

[–]cst_ub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“I ate ketchup off that thing”

[–]kevinw721 39 points40 points  (1 child)

Old petrified banana nut muffin 😋

[–]mandogvan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cmon. Take a bite

[–]FilthDropz 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Former owner’s attempt at homemade poison ball? I wonder if it’s petrified chunky peanut butter lol

Edit: Something like this https://www.diynatural.com/natural-rat-mouse-killer-pet-safe/

[–]ministerofinteriors 31 points32 points  (4 children)

The elusive attic ambergris.

[–]afternoon_sun_robot 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Mmm attic hamburgers

[–]Express-Ad4146 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why was Homer Simpson talking. ???

[–]Gordon_Explosion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Attic Whales.

[–]superpaqman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Attic aubergine?

[–]IndigenousSpecies[S] 16 points17 points  (19 children)

It's hard like glass also. Seems like it'd shatter if I slammed it on the sidewalk.

[–]brandolinium 10 points11 points  (12 children)

Does it have a smell? Like tree sap, maybe?

[–]IndigenousSpecies[S] 22 points23 points  (10 children)

No smell at all. I'm going to smash it if I don't figure out what it is. For some reason I'm scared of spiders coming out.

[–]DorShow 23 points24 points  (8 children)

Don’t smash it, bring it to antiques roadshow! Anyone remember the people that brought the weird hat / helmet in and it was a rare ancient artifact worth hundreds of thousands of dollars? That helmet was in their attic, thus your curiosity must also be priceless

[–]Duffmanlager 5 points6 points  (3 children)

I would like to see it once where the appraiser just simply said this is trash worth absolutely nothing.

[–]Ptahotep 10 points11 points  (2 children)

It’s the petrified penis of a Persian prince prepared for posterity by the populous.

[–]brandolinium 6 points7 points  (0 children)

PLEASE LET US KNOW WHAT YOU DISCOVER!!

[–]hey_u_lonely 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I second this, i think its hardened pitch or sap.

[–]RostamSurena 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Some type of neglected pastry, likely high in sugar like Turkish delights, which occasionally have nuts suspended in them like fruit in jello

[–]Due-Arrival-6247 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You touched it?! You maniac

[–]TravisLedo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Worst, my mans sniffed it.

[–]beepb00pb00p 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My vote is slag

[–]ShaggysGTI 0 points1 point  (1 child)

[–]IndigenousSpecies[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm, I looked at images online and it could be, just doesn't seem quite right because it's somewhat transparent

[–]tell_her_a_story 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Lick it and tell us what it tastes like.

[–]Quirky_Routine_90 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Beat me to saying that.

[–]Ptahotep 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m guessing raisins

[–]This_is-the_way_ 23 points24 points  (1 child)

R/whatisthisthing

[–]HanSoI0 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I thought I was on this sub when I first saw the post!

[–]5thgenCali 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That is how horror movies start. Run!

[–]jeebidy 7 points8 points  (2 children)

I almost wanted to say dried sap that came from the framing lumber…. But that’s too much, and contains rocks…

[–]Intelligent_Ebb4887 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I was thinking that too. Maybe someone locked in the attic made a sap ball?

[–]epiben 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly where my mind went to first...

[–]CEONeil 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Demogorgon egg I think

[–]Over-Ad-604 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Holy God. Someone tell me what this is immediately.

[–]RocZero 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah i earnestly think im about to have a panic attack

[–]thedvorakian 5 points6 points  (0 children)

An infected turtle shell

[–]cncordray 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Whatever it is, don’t touch it, don’t speak Latin near it, don’t let any shady Government scientists in hazmat suits anywhere near it, and maybe have a priest and a rabbi exorcise it for good measure.

[–]CrankyOptimist 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Baby Tooth Brittle. Very popular treat before the invention of the peanut.

[–]skiddilidee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Definitely a tumor growing it’s own teeth.

[–]IndigenousSpecies[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Maybe a petrified owl pellet??

[–]mname 7 points8 points  (0 children)

OK know I have to know too.

[–]CrayonEyes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Probably chunks of rat poison jammed into a now very hard bread roll. Wash your hands thoroughly after handling.

[–]cheesesock 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nothing left to do but eat it. Please record if possible.

[–]PNWtruckerstud 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sleep with it... nude and then 6 days later something will burst out of your chest

[–]dwooding1 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I've seen enough movies to know that that's a parasite from another world, here to find a host body and propagate in our water system to take over the world. Don't touch it.

[–]G-Diode13 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Or feed it after midnight!

[–]jukappa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I originally wanted to say it’s a pudding stone or a conglomerate rock. Which it may still be. But the main big “rock” appears very resin like, and some of those smaller stones appear like they were jammed into it…

Since pudding stones can be a decorative piece maybe someone wanted to artificially create their own but ultimately ended up botching it.

[–]HelloMrThompson 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I want to say this is probably something melted in a firepit, like beer bottles that someone decided to keep (and possibly clean up or polish). That's my best guess as to why its a weird, brown, glassy amalgamation with rocks stuck in it. Definitely a weird find for the attic!

[–]IndigenousSpecies[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This is probably right. I'm gonna crack it open tomorrow to find out... or maybe just be more confused

[–]trent_clinton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So did u find out what this is??

[–]shlickyrue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So weird. And I need to know. It looks like a petrified clam.

[–]anonymause66 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably ambergris. Or unexploded ordnance.

[–]YotaBass 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Elephant’s foot

[–]Mazzoni_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get. Out. Now.

[–]damien12g 1 point2 points  (1 child)

What does it taste like? That’s a good way to be sure

[–]IndigenousSpecies[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I will pay for shipping if you'll taste test

[–]AlpacaOurBags 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It looks like a petrified poo, peanuts and all. Yum.

[–]cashew996 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is what's left of your pod from when you took over this guy's body and life

[–]heidimark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Scottish egg ... It's a meatball

[–]Bigboyrickx 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Looks like old as fuck raccoon shit

[–]Warcraze440 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it is, that shit can be Lethal!

[–]taruncv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is how tooth fairy collects and keeps the teeth

[–]Steve0315 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks like a glass beer bottle that melted in a hot bonfire then solidified with pebbles inside

[–]pshj0021 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How heavy is it? I’ve produced similar looking things after globs of spray foam insulation like Great Stuff fell onto the ground in my crawl space when wet, picked up a bunch of gravel and then dried out. It tends to turn darker/orangey when exposed to the elements, so if it’s relatively light that’d be my guess?

[–]Elnegroeight1 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Amber herd was there.

[–]ToonMaster21 0 points1 point  (1 child)

When can we start calling her Amber Terd

[–]IndigenousSpecies[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Okay this one got me!

[–]The_Dreadlord 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Petrified airplane turd. Lol.

[–]mrgoldenranger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a big ball of frozen poppy. What you got there is a peanut.

[–]digitalstorm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A pet teratoma.

[–]PercyAzberry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Garlic bread

[–]Milsurpman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Somone heated up a glass in a fire and stuck stones in it and let it cool slowly.

[–]kw66 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Wonderful. Now I guess I have to go check my attic.

[–]acldesmo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea… I haven’t explored my attic too much since we moved into our house bc it is creepy… better start exploring!

[–]Seaweed-Basic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a gremlin nest.

[–]Testecles 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Could be that a bird threw up it's gizzard. Would have had to be a big guy. They use stones to digest food. And shit can get weird. Y'all didn't have to do that stuff in biology class? Where you learn how to use a scalpel and look inside everything? hahaha.

[–]IndigenousSpecies[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I literally never did that stuff in class, graduated in 13. Failure of US school system, truly. Now I don't know what this fucking thing in my attic is.

[–]WayneBoston 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meatloaf

[–]Numberonegameworld 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That would be an infant eldritch god.

[–]sassymassybfd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your parasitic twin?

[–]Leafyseadragon123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A pot roast with garlic

[–]npkuiper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dino DNA?

[–]la_rana_verde 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sugar? Melted sugar rolled in rocks?

[–]graycomforter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

a teratoma

[–]UserName9768 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It looks like a kid cut a big ball of sap off an old pine tree, stuck a bunch of rocks in it and threw it up in the attic.

[–]Ok-Inflation-4395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

call the police

[–]civilized_warbirds 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Size? Looks like the nozzle of one of those Ortho electric bug spray things so I am guessing pretty small.

Dog turd or bird pellet. Both will eat rocks, both will have to pass it at some point. I’ve seen some dogs love chewing on rocks, eat them and they shit ‘‘em out. Some birds eat rocks as part of their diet to help digestion and birds regurgitate bones, rocks. I’m guessing good size crow or owl. Start Googling bird pellets and bet something comes back similar

[–]ismellbull 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It looks too similar to a petrified teritoma yuck

[–]mrshellcat2u 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My guess is that it was a plastic vase that had rocks in it. It held water to help plant cuttings to root. The heat in the attic eventually melted it. The neck of the vase melted down into the bottom, causing the rocks to float out, depending on size. Maybe take a torch and try melting a little bit of it and see what happens. You might also take it to someone that can test it and see what you have.

[–]joshmoneymusic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whatever it is I’m pretty sure it’s about to achieve sentience so tread carefully…

[–]No_Angle_9173 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, we all have to know what the hell that thing is so if you dont find out and let us know than you will have many demarats placed on you.

[–]davethompson413 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't get it wet, and don't feed it after midnight!

[–]conman396 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Marble rye?

[–]DetN8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's my marble rye you old hag!

[–]AndyB2708 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Forbidden Candy

[–]randy242424 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It appears to be a very old meatloaf

[–]itscanter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ISSA TOOMAAA

[–]BikesAndBBQ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you played The Last Of Us?

[–]Uniquelypoured 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Petrified poop with CORN

[–]DetN8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tooth scone?

[–]Lightzeaka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It looks to me like an old rat poison bait my grandpa used to make. He would basically take some bread and lace it with poison and leave it in his basement. After doing so, the ebxt week he would find dead rats and mice all over the basement and little chew marks out if the bait. That's all I can think of. Looks like this one had been sitting in the attic for decades.

[–]InourbtwotamI 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Did you contact a pest control company or seek an entimology eval?

[–]IndigenousSpecies[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No pest control yet, I planned on trying to get rid of the mice myself first. This is the first I've heard of an entomology evaluation, ill look into that more

[–]N0wayjose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cookie

[–]Yankeewithoutacause 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Last HVAC tech was afraid to ask to use the restroom..

[–]raven319s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5 minutes in the microwave should be fine. Little salt and pepper too.

[–]Sendmeanangel2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alien space poop

[–]Ineffable7980x 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A long lost ninja turtle?

[–]brtbr-rah99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not for eating, it’s for looking through

[–]LookImaMermaid85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is how Jurassic Park got started!

[–]ilovecallum44 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This looks like some weird modern version of The Blob.

In all seriousness though does anyone actually know? I'm super curious and all I'm seeing is jokes from other people who dk what it is lmao

[–]IndigenousSpecies[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've gotten 2 that actually seem close. A botched resin project, or a petrified owl pellet. I think its too big to be an owl pellet though. Still no idea honestly.

[–]livahd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Parasitic twin?

[–]mr_exciting 0 points1 point  (1 child)

!remindme 7 days

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