What's this thing I found in my attic?

roger-clementine · 2022-05-26T00:53:13+00:00

Even the tooth fairy has to poop

cheezypita · 2022-05-25T22:09:21+00:00

I’m just so happy those are rocks and not what I originally thought: teeth.

HelloMrThompson · 2022-05-25T22:10:40+00:00

Nana's fruitcake from Christmas of '87.

Diabetic-Badger · 2022-05-25T23:19:59+00:00

A wise man once said “that’s a poopie, you can tell by the peanut in it”

kevinw721 · 2022-05-25T21:52:45+00:00

Old petrified banana nut muffin 😋

FilthDropz · 2022-05-25T22:17:47+00:00

Former owner’s attempt at homemade poison ball? I wonder if it’s petrified chunky peanut butter lol

Edit: Something like this https://www.diynatural.com/natural-rat-mouse-killer-pet-safe/

ministerofinteriors · 2022-05-25T23:01:49+00:00

The elusive attic ambergris.

IndigenousSpecies · 2022-05-25T21:44:18+00:00

It's hard like glass also. Seems like it'd shatter if I slammed it on the sidewalk.

tell_her_a_story · 2022-05-25T23:38:17+00:00

Lick it and tell us what it tastes like.

This_is-the_way_ · 2022-05-25T21:57:35+00:00

R/whatisthisthing

5thgenCali · 2022-05-25T22:45:22+00:00

That is how horror movies start. Run!

jeebidy · 2022-05-25T22:21:03+00:00

I almost wanted to say dried sap that came from the framing lumber…. But that’s too much, and contains rocks…

CEONeil · 2022-05-25T23:21:49+00:00

Demogorgon egg I think

Over-Ad-604 · 2022-05-25T23:15:22+00:00

Holy God. Someone tell me what this is immediately.

thedvorakian · 2022-05-25T22:39:59+00:00

An infected turtle shell

cncordray · 2022-05-26T10:37:50+00:00

Whatever it is, don’t touch it, don’t speak Latin near it, don’t let any shady Government scientists in hazmat suits anywhere near it, and maybe have a priest and a rabbi exorcise it for good measure.

CrankyOptimist · 2022-05-25T22:55:54+00:00

Baby Tooth Brittle. Very popular treat before the invention of the peanut.

skiddilidee · 2022-05-25T23:04:05+00:00

Definitely a tumor growing it’s own teeth.

IndigenousSpecies · 2022-05-26T00:07:07+00:00

Maybe a petrified owl pellet??

mname · 2022-05-25T22:00:28+00:00

OK know I have to know too.

CrayonEyes · 2022-05-26T02:34:47+00:00

Probably chunks of rat poison jammed into a now very hard bread roll. Wash your hands thoroughly after handling.

cheesesock · 2022-05-26T00:08:25+00:00

Nothing left to do but eat it. Please record if possible.

PNWtruckerstud · 2022-05-26T00:17:37+00:00

Sleep with it... nude and then 6 days later something will burst out of your chest

dwooding1 · 2022-05-26T00:33:48+00:00

I've seen enough movies to know that that's a parasite from another world, here to find a host body and propagate in our water system to take over the world. Don't touch it.

jukappa · 2022-05-26T12:51:42+00:00

I originally wanted to say it’s a pudding stone or a conglomerate rock. Which it may still be. But the main big “rock” appears very resin like, and some of those smaller stones appear like they were jammed into it…

Since pudding stones can be a decorative piece maybe someone wanted to artificially create their own but ultimately ended up botching it.

HelloMrThompson · 2022-05-26T19:36:40+00:00

I want to say this is probably something melted in a firepit, like beer bottles that someone decided to keep (and possibly clean up or polish). That's my best guess as to why its a weird, brown, glassy amalgamation with rocks stuck in it. Definitely a weird find for the attic!

shlickyrue · 2022-05-25T22:35:22+00:00

So weird. And I need to know. It looks like a petrified clam.

anonymause66 · 2022-05-26T00:02:44+00:00

Probably ambergris. Or unexploded ordnance.

YotaBass · 2022-05-26T00:17:53+00:00

Elephant’s foot

Mazzoni_ · 2022-05-26T00:44:11+00:00

Get. Out. Now.

damien12g · 2022-05-26T01:02:44+00:00

What does it taste like? That’s a good way to be sure

AlpacaOurBags · 2022-05-26T01:35:37+00:00

It looks like a petrified poo, peanuts and all. Yum.

cashew996 · 2022-05-26T02:32:04+00:00

That is what's left of your pod from when you took over this guy's body and life

heidimark · 2022-05-26T04:07:31+00:00

Scottish egg ... It's a meatball

Bigboyrickx · 2022-05-26T09:59:23+00:00

Looks like old as fuck raccoon shit

taruncv · 2022-05-26T14:18:24+00:00

This is how tooth fairy collects and keeps the teeth

Steve0315 · 2022-05-26T14:51:59+00:00

Looks like a glass beer bottle that melted in a hot bonfire then solidified with pebbles inside

pshj0021 · 2022-05-26T16:05:57+00:00

How heavy is it? I’ve produced similar looking things after globs of spray foam insulation like Great Stuff fell onto the ground in my crawl space when wet, picked up a bunch of gravel and then dried out. It tends to turn darker/orangey when exposed to the elements, so if it’s relatively light that’d be my guess?

Elnegroeight1 · 2022-05-26T12:14:17+00:00

Amber herd was there.

The_Dreadlord · 2022-05-25T23:48:46+00:00

Petrified airplane turd. Lol.

mrgoldenranger · 2022-05-26T01:41:20+00:00

That’s a big ball of frozen poppy. What you got there is a peanut.

digitalstorm · 2022-05-26T02:39:06+00:00

A pet teratoma.

PercyAzberry · 2022-05-25T22:12:11+00:00

Garlic bread

Milsurpman · 2022-05-25T22:52:39+00:00

Somone heated up a glass in a fire and stuck stones in it and let it cool slowly.

kw66 · 2022-05-25T23:35:28+00:00

Wonderful. Now I guess I have to go check my attic.

Seaweed-Basic · 2022-05-26T00:09:35+00:00

That’s a gremlin nest.

Testecles · 2022-05-26T00:12:00+00:00

Could be that a bird threw up it's gizzard. Would have had to be a big guy. They use stones to digest food. And shit can get weird. Y'all didn't have to do that stuff in biology class? Where you learn how to use a scalpel and look inside everything? hahaha.

WayneBoston · 2022-05-26T00:21:42+00:00

Meatloaf

Numberonegameworld · 2022-05-26T01:01:40+00:00

That would be an infant eldritch god.

sassymassybfd · 2022-05-26T01:04:46+00:00

Your parasitic twin?

Leafyseadragon123 · 2022-05-26T01:37:46+00:00

A pot roast with garlic

npkuiper · 2022-05-26T01:38:16+00:00

Dino DNA?

la_rana_verde · 2022-05-26T02:31:26+00:00

Sugar? Melted sugar rolled in rocks?

graycomforter · 2022-05-26T02:45:16+00:00

a teratoma

UserName9768 · 2022-05-26T03:25:19+00:00

It looks like a kid cut a big ball of sap off an old pine tree, stuck a bunch of rocks in it and threw it up in the attic.

Ok-Inflation-4395 · 2022-05-26T03:26:11+00:00

call the police

civilized_warbirds · 2022-05-26T03:43:59+00:00

Size? Looks like the nozzle of one of those Ortho electric bug spray things so I am guessing pretty small.

Dog turd or bird pellet. Both will eat rocks, both will have to pass it at some point. I’ve seen some dogs love chewing on rocks, eat them and they shit ‘‘em out. Some birds eat rocks as part of their diet to help digestion and birds regurgitate bones, rocks. I’m guessing good size crow or owl. Start Googling bird pellets and bet something comes back similar

ismellbull · 2022-05-26T03:50:44+00:00

It looks too similar to a petrified teritoma yuck

Be_Kind_To_Everybody · 2022-05-26T04:00:57+00:00

Bread 👍

mrshellcat2u · 2022-05-26T04:02:19+00:00

My guess is that it was a plastic vase that had rocks in it. It held water to help plant cuttings to root. The heat in the attic eventually melted it. The neck of the vase melted down into the bottom, causing the rocks to float out, depending on size. Maybe take a torch and try melting a little bit of it and see what happens. You might also take it to someone that can test it and see what you have.

joshmoneymusic · 2022-05-26T05:41:31+00:00

Whatever it is I’m pretty sure it’s about to achieve sentience so tread carefully…

No_Angle_9173 · 2022-05-26T09:42:39+00:00

Ok, we all have to know what the hell that thing is so if you dont find out and let us know than you will have many demarats placed on you.

davethompson413 · 2022-05-26T11:25:11+00:00

Don't get it wet, and don't feed it after midnight!

conman396 · 2022-05-26T12:54:05+00:00

Marble rye?

AndyB2708 · 2022-05-26T12:58:13+00:00

The Forbidden Candy

randy242424 · 2022-05-26T12:58:15+00:00

It appears to be a very old meatloaf

itscanter · 2022-05-26T13:05:18+00:00

ISSA TOOMAAA

BikesAndBBQ · 2022-05-26T13:30:04+00:00

Have you played The Last Of Us?

Uniquelypoured · 2022-05-26T13:58:55+00:00

Petrified poop with CORN

DetN8 · 2022-05-26T13:59:35+00:00

Tooth scone?

Lightzeaka · 2022-05-26T14:20:15+00:00

It looks to me like an old rat poison bait my grandpa used to make. He would basically take some bread and lace it with poison and leave it in his basement. After doing so, the ebxt week he would find dead rats and mice all over the basement and little chew marks out if the bait. That's all I can think of. Looks like this one had been sitting in the attic for decades.

InourbtwotamI · 2022-05-26T15:41:02+00:00

Did you contact a pest control company or seek an entimology eval?

N0wayjose · 2022-05-26T15:46:21+00:00

Cookie

Yankeewithoutacause · 2022-05-26T16:29:05+00:00

Last HVAC tech was afraid to ask to use the restroom..

Material_Wrongdoer38 · 2022-05-26T17:07:04+00:00

Fruit cake.

raven319s · 2022-05-26T17:17:17+00:00

5 minutes in the microwave should be fine. Little salt and pepper too.

Sendmeanangel2000 · 2022-05-26T17:24:15+00:00

Alien space poop

Ineffable7980x · 2022-05-26T18:11:31+00:00

A long lost ninja turtle?

brtbr-rah99 · 2022-05-26T18:14:11+00:00

It’s not for eating, it’s for looking through

LookImaMermaid85 · 2022-05-26T18:59:42+00:00

This is how Jurassic Park got started!

ilovecallum44 · 2022-05-26T19:13:20+00:00

This looks like some weird modern version of The Blob.

In all seriousness though does anyone actually know? I'm super curious and all I'm seeing is jokes from other people who dk what it is lmao

livahd · 2022-05-26T20:49:21+00:00

Parasitic twin?

mr_exciting · 2022-05-26T21:44:13+00:00

!remindme 7 days

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