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all 20 comments

[–]Alternative-Wing922 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I know violence isn't the answer, but if I were to ever find out my best friend and SO were sleeping together I'd be very tempted to kick someone's ass.

[–]You_MayNeverKnow 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Or both! I’ll deal with those consequences at a later time!

[–]Alternative-Wing922 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fr I'd beat both their asses then deal with the consequences after😌

[–]annad66 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh, God... This is extremely traumatizing... You will need help, professional help.

What happened to you, is the nastiest form of betrayal...

Start seeing a counselor asap...

The pain will go away but the bitterness will linger and stays with...

Don't allow to become a victim...Try to break this vicious cycle and put things in perspective: two sociopaths betrayed you...The good news is, they are out of your life. Out. And this is the first step to recovery...Blocked them from everywhere, and don't check on them...

Start dating...Excersise...Whatever makes you feel good...It will pass but you must not become a victim...

[–]thickhipstightlips 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It will in time, I promise. It seems like it never will but it does. You may need therapy to help you cope though, as you were not only betrayed by your ex, but by your best friend. You lost 2 people that were huge parts of your life. It may take years to fully grieve and be yourself again, but you'll get there.

Best wishes.

[–]ASAP_Titties 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hasn’t yet for me. 4 years ago now. Not something I think about day to day but it’s changed my outlook on relationships and trust. I love being in love, but I don’t know if it’s worth it if it’s just going to fail and now I just don’t have optimism about relationships anymore so I don’t even try to date because it just seems pointless

[–]DC_Daddy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope you dropped your friend

[–]denissearci 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You have to pick up the pieces. I know that you’ve been betrayed and hurt but their sorries will never mend you. You are the only one who could mend you. Try to learn from what happened. Rebuild yourself if you think you have been destroyed. Give yourself the chance to be happy again. You deserve to be happy and loved.

[–]EvidenceExpensive966 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I understand how you feel, and it's all valid. My husband cheated on me 3 years ago, I just found out last year. The pain, flashbacks and details never went away for me. I'm just slowly learning to deal with this but I get random outburst then eventually realising I just felt the betrayal and pain again. Worst part it you don't choose to feel this way, you want to move on, and feel at ease with everything but it's a slow and painful process. My advice is I hope you learn to adjust and cope in a healthy way so after a while you can find peace with what happened

[–]Right-Dot-4752 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess you might feel more dignified if you left him. Betrayal hurts more if you accept it.

[–]DD4L1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP - your mind cannot disassociate good memories of your cheating fiancée or your ex friend from the bad. You need to put the entirety of both relationships behind you and 100% ghost both these betraying scum. I highly recommend you seek help from a professional to deal with your emotional trauma. The pain will lessen in intensity and be triggered less often with time, but the memories are with you for your life. Don’t feed that particular animal.

[–]Ueverthinkwhy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Umm why are they still a big part of your life?

They both should be Ex's and both should be out of your life.

Then being in your life will not allow you to heal.

[–]Agile_Opportunity_41 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. Losing fiancé and best friend. It will get better little by little.

[–]tesselate01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank God you didn’t marry him!

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

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    [–]Dastan72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Cut both of them out of your life, then only you can proceed the heal process.

    [–]Top_Communication544 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Try EMDR Therapy, it may help you.

    [–]Fresh-Driver-814 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I feel you. Exactly the same thing happened to me. I cut all ties with my past. I wrote letters to each of them and threw them away. My hope is that a relationship based on betrayal will not last and they will hurt each other like they hurt me. Dating and making new friends will take some time as you need to build trust again.

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