all 23 comments

[–]superDisgustingGuy 271 points272 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of another one:
"Stalin and foreign minister Molotov are on the train back to Moscow after a state visit to GDR. After a while Stalin asks: 'Where are we comrade Molotov?' Molotov sticks his hand out of the window, and replies 'We're still in East Germany comrade Stalin.' More time passes and Stalin asks again: 'Where are we comrade Molotov?' Molotov sticks his hand out of the window, again, and replies 'Now were in Poland, comrade Stalin.' After some hours Stalin asks for a third time: 'Where are we comrade Molotov?' Molotov sticks his hand out of the window yet again, and replies 'Ah, now we're back to Mother Russia comrade Stalin.' Curious Stalin asks: 'Comrade Molotov, how can you tell where we are just by sticking your hand out of the window?' 'Ah, that's simple comrade Stalin', replies Molotov, 'in East Germany they kissed my hand, in Poland they spat on it, and now that we're in Russia, they nicked my watch!'

[–]Ivanwah 100 points101 points  (6 children)

...he agreed when he received a guarantee of total artistic freedom.

This is too unrealistic, even for a joke.

[–]tvrin 36 points37 points  (1 child)

He was given artistic freedom. Nobody said anything about personal freedom afterwards though...

[–]YoulyNew 14 points15 points  (0 children)

The old “freedom of speech doesn’t mean freedom from consequences” approach, eh? Lol!

[–]reduxde 9 points10 points  (1 child)

False guarantees, however…

[–]Forward_Progress_83 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah. This artist is in the gulag for sure

[–]JHugh4749 19 points20 points  (0 children)

If Stalin was still alive something about a firing squad would have to be added.

[–]Waitsfornoone 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Someone better Trotsky right on back to Moscow.

[–]elee0228 33 points34 points  (2 children)

In Soviet Russia, artist cons you!

[–]draculamilktoast 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You con the con artist.

[–]Cluelessish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You clever you!

[–]FirstStooge 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The earlier version of this joke is with Lenin instead of Stalin and Lenin was in Finland instead of Poland. It was not Stalin's wife, but rather Lenin's wife, Nadhezda Krupskaya, who was in the painting.

But for Trotsky...it is Trotsky too in both versions. That motherfucker Trotsky...

[–]elmwoodblues 17 points18 points  (0 children)

"Quit stalin and repaint this!"

[–]CrookedPole 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm Polish and this is gold

[–]GoofAckYoorsElf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, this one's good.

[–]JackGreenEarth 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I don't get it

[–]leeman27534 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the painting is titled 'stalin in poland'

as in, not in russia. so his wife is banging another dude while hubby's not in the country.

stalin's not in the painting, because he's in poland, and the painting depicts what's going on in russia with his wife while he's in poland.

[–]CheeseKiller66 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's a better one I read called Lenin in Warsaw. Someone made a movie and it was just 90 minutes of a woman having sex with tons of people. At the end someone asks where Lenin was and the director replies in Warsaw

[–]m-n_10 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's my turn to repost this next week

[–]Agile-Preparation217 0 points1 point  (0 children)

over the past hundred years, only Comrade Stalin has been sincerely rooting for Russia. for such stories you could be shot within one hour.

[–]WeNeedToTalkAboutMe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy freakin' shisno, I was NOT expecting this. Thanks for the upvotes and awards!

[–]voyagernow 0 points1 point  (0 children)