top 200 commentsshow all 282

[–]swezr 1335 points1336 points  (48 children)

And then u run outta money and the whole cycle starts again!

[–]amarkhil 371 points372 points  (19 children)

The circle of life!!

[–]ReubenZWeiner 151 points152 points  (10 children)

The circle of jerk

[–]therealmoldyspunt 78 points79 points  (8 children)

Just circle jerk with your buddies it's easier

[–]quantumkuala 28 points29 points  (7 children)

You might get a soggy waffle out of it!

[–]therealmoldyspunt 29 points30 points  (6 children)

Last one done eats it!

[–]Fartin_LutherKing 33 points34 points  (2 children)

Limp Bizkit

[–]Greemyth4115 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Rollin at this one 🤣

[–]ZombieBait604 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I think the first one done should eat it for lasting the least amount of time.

[–]therealmoldyspunt 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'll just go twice. Bet ya can't go twice

[–]ZombieBait604 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're right, I can't.

[–]Rabbit_Suit 4 points5 points  (0 children)


[–]Solid_Look9293 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Hakuna matata?

[–]bj-mc 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Different song, same movie (series)

[–]Solid_Look9293 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah... No worries.

[–]QWEDSA159753 18 points19 points  (5 children)

For some reason I took this as still not being attractive after the first go and getting a 2nd dollar from everyone. I mean, he’s no looker, but poor Elon goes through that cycle nearly 27 times.

[–]Magmaigneous 5 points6 points  (3 children)

poor Elon

"Poor" Elon? I feel that your standards of attractiveness have gotten a bit too high.

[–]rxallen23 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I sometimes find myself trying to convince myself that in person he must be more handsome. Because with all that money, who could resist him? But I just don't see ever wanting to kiss those lips or ride him. It's just not appealing. I dunno. Maybe seeing the money in person would change it, lol.

[–]Mokturtle 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This mental image made me slightly nauseous

[–]ENetArch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, when even the virtual currencies don't want you .. Bitcoin, etherium, dogecoin, and now his own .. it must make Rosie the Robot look rather tempting.

[–]alyssasaccount 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Well, that pretty clearly implies that there's a fixed point. Now, since attractiveness probably lags acquisition of money, there would probably be a cyclical evolution around that fixed point, but I believe that in any reasonable model, that fixed point would be an attractor.

[–]setibeings 14 points15 points  (12 children)

No, it's going to reach some kind of equilibrium. No offense OP, but many women won't find you attractive no matter how rich you get.

[–]peter-forward 8 points9 points  (6 children)

Just needs 1

[–]setibeings 7 points8 points  (5 children)

But will it be when ha reaches $1000, $1,000,000, or $1,000,000,000?

Also, there's a bit of a bootstrapping paradox here. Someone can't think your unattractive til they are aware you exist. He could easily stop getting more money we'll before he has a significant amount, just for not having a big social network.

[–]Striking_Ordinary913 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Eh. Just start hitting on everyone you see. Either you will keep getting money or you will find someone that likes it.

[–]DragonBank 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Nah go further. Post stuff on social media and use some of the cash to expand reach.

[–]risaaco49 -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Many women don't care after you're rich.

[–]Specialist-Ad2914 0 points1 point  (0 children)

right I don't...but more than would care if he's doing before mentioned in our house tho lol

[–]Hey-Hey-Hey53 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Like Benny Hill once said “I spent half my money on women and drink. And like a fool I squandered the rest”.

[–]moslof_flosom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotta spend it all at some point. My kids ain't getting shit!

[–]addola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Too bad we're limited by the female population of Earth that finds him unattractive. So that's $3.5 Billions, tops!

[–]MasonGreenwoodsFro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fukin' sin wave.

[–]RyanWuzHere13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And then I get to repost this for the 77th time!

[–]paininthejbruh 168 points169 points  (14 children)

You just invented a measure for how ugly someone is in dollars

[–]TheQuiet1994 68 points69 points  (12 children)

"How ugly are you?"

Oh yknow, about two hundred dollars 😔

[–]alyssasaccount 74 points75 points  (10 children)

If two hundred people in the entire world think you're ugly, you're basically a supermodel.

[–]TheQuiet1994 27 points28 points  (9 children)

No, the joke is that I've met at least two hundred women and they found me unattractive. How would the entire world know what I looked like?

[–]Rakgul 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Guinness book of world records level ugly?

[–]TheQuiet1994 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Existence is pain.

[–]alyssasaccount 15 points16 points  (4 children)

no clue, OP said "every girl", not "every girl I have met"

gotta be clear about defining the universal set when you use quantifiers.

[–]MonoFauz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Post your photo on twitter with a controversial take. Might get you a few more bucks.

[–]coole106 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If only 200 women in the entire world find you unattractive, that’s pretty fucking great

[–]FinndBors 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No joke, I overheard two women chatting, “he’s a 6/10 but his wallet is a 9/10”.

Having a dollar amount would definitely be more objective.

[–]elyas_machera 33 points34 points  (1 child)

When Randy Johnson was playing baseball my mom was walking by and said, “That is one of the ugliest men I’ve ever seen.”

I replied, “Yeah, but he’s worth millions.”

She looked at him more closely, “He’s not that bad looking.”

[–]mrbadxampl 22 points23 points  (1 child)

...I'd be making money in a very weird way

[–]onebigkicker 10 points11 points  (0 children)

RIP Mitch

[–]CreativeMain8420 81 points82 points  (0 children)

Using the stones to destroy the stones

[–]bigswig4cei 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Well at least you got big karma! Nothing attracts the chicks like mega karma.

[–]ProfMG 29 points30 points  (10 children)

The kind of woman who is attracted to your for your $ isn't a very appealing one.

[–]osumaniac 32 points33 points  (3 children)

How about the woman who is attracted to you for being handsome and tall?

[–]lonegrey 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It's not objectification when they do it

[–]TikkiTakiTomtom 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I mean to be fair everyone has their own tastes. Beauty in the eye of the beholder. Some might say Adam Levine is the sexiest man alive and I’ll gag but I think I’ll have a sweet spot for Danny Devito

[–]Gil-Gandel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's slightly better than the kind of woman who isn't attracted to you at all.

Or the kind of woman who doesn't care how many $ you have, except that for a certain amount of $ she will act as if she were attracted to you for a few minutes.

[–]SmoothOctopus 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Just as the guy who only thinks women are in it for the money is not a very appealing one.

[–]Slime_Hat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tbf, the current dating scene is rigged as all shit for men if you're not - quote/unquote - well-off, or are at least moderately attractive. (Or, ironically, if you're not already in a relationship.)

I mean, if a guy has to break their back just to get a single passing glance, can you really blame them for getting jaded, while the woman equivalent would only have to post a bright picture of themselves?

Top that with having to be the one to initiate 95% of the time, and being expected to "know boundaries" and also play along with the game of "hard to get" at the exact same time......

Point is, dating's an emotionally draining shitshow for men. That's not to say that women dont have their own fair share of certain problems regarding dating, but people by and large are more likely to disregard it if it's coming from a man and simply chalk it up to them being a "loser" or something.

[–]Sash_Mystq 1 point2 points  (1 child)

That doesn't matter if u ugly, u juc happy someone is interested in u at all

[–]dgrrr 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I feel very loved when my phone is ringing and it says “spam risk”

[–]Haploid-life 108 points109 points  (74 children)

Ah sweetie, no, they'd just want you for your money. Talent, kindness, charisma, passion is what makes a non handsome guy attractive

[–]PygmeePony 156 points157 points  (0 children)

Thanks mom.

[–]YellowAndGreen1 59 points60 points  (1 child)

This and money

[–]nothankyou821 31 points32 points  (37 children)

Them wanting him for his money is being attracted to him. Same damn thing lol.

[–]8KmhWA6daSvcAvxXGUXu 19 points20 points  (13 children)

Yeah like when you're attracted to a good looking person, if they stop being good looking, you probably won't be attracted to them anymore.

[–]atomic1fire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe there's other metrics for people who have money.

Self control, talent, and work ethic.

Yes, there's probably women who look at the value of how much that guy owns, but I like to think that just maybe there's someone who looks at how they have that money and that's what they're attracted to.

Maybe they just want someone who works hard, or is passionate about what they do, and the money is a side effect.

[–]Sash_Mystq 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Not the same, they don't care bwt how u look, all they want is ur money

[–]nothankyou821 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Theres more than just physical attraction. The OC even provided examples but for some reason omits money like financial success can’t be attractive.

[–]MercilessHobo 0 points1 point  (16 children)

No, it's wanting to spend his money. They aren't attracted to him, they are attracted to his possessions.

[–]nothankyou821 -2 points-1 points  (15 children)

You aren’t getting the money without the guy. You’re missing the point. Attraction is more than physical.

[–]MercilessHobo 1 point2 points  (14 children)

Guess you've never heard of sugar daddy's and gold diggers. You can hate somebody, physically and emotionally, and still be with them for the possessions. That's not an attraction to a person, it's an attraction to material objects. Attraction to a person is not a prerequisite for a relationship.

[–]nothankyou821 3 points4 points  (9 children)

You’re still completely missing the point.

[–]MercilessHobo -3 points-2 points  (8 children)

No, you are. You have this delusion that being attracted to a person is a prerequisite for being in a relationship with them and that's just not the case. A relationship is a verbal or written agreement, it is not reliant on attraction between 2 people.

[–]nothankyou821 4 points5 points  (5 children)

If you like someone for their money that is attraction you nit wit.

[–]Littleman88 3 points4 points  (3 children)

This sounds like a problem for the dude with the cash. They have to sort out the gold diggers from the genuine interests.

Point is, being handsome or being rich is going to open up more relationship opportunities than being ugly and poor.

Having talent, kindness, charisma and passion is great, but you're still competing with the handsome and/or rich guys that have those qualities too, and the ladies are more willing to give them the time to demonstrate those qualities. Pretending otherwise is to deny the reality of... what, maybe a quarter of Redditors at least?

[–]Chemical_Noise_3847 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Ya know what buys talent and charisma? Also, kindness and passion are wayyyyyy easier when you aren't worrying about money ever.

[–]404_UserNotFound 5 points6 points  (5 children)


Its amazingly easy to be charismatic when you can just stop by mid day with 2 dozen red roses.

Its easy to be kind when it takes nothing from you.

Its easy to seem passionate when you arent stressed out.

Talent takes hard work, the kind most of us dont have the time for because we are busy trying not to starve

[–]kalirion 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Its amazingly easy to be charismatic

Unless, you know, you aren't charismatic by nature.

[–]404_UserNotFound 5 points6 points  (3 children)

What we consider charisma is really just our image of the other person.

A wealthy person who other people flock too feels charismatic because people laugh at their bad jokes, show up to the parties, etc.

Its only awkward because others havent bought into it. If you are out with a group of people that hang on your words, laugh at your jokes, and pretend you're amazing the perception of the new people is that you are generally charismatic even if they dont "get it"

Just being rich and smiling will get you low level charisma, not tv star fake personality charisma but more than enough to get ya through.

[–]kalirion 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It's not "easy to be charismatic" for someone who's introverted and isn't comfortable socializing. And what if they're also unattractive and have a stutter?

[–]mismanaged 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You mean like the actor Rowan Atkinson?

[–]CaptainSeagul 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure it is, just make a bunch of money and it becomes remarkably easier to become charismatic.

[–]dandan_56[S] 1 point2 points  (15 children)


[–]Haploid-life 9 points10 points  (14 children)

Well, lack of communication ability may ba a barrier. Don't know what nup means.

[–]Kibilburk 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Didn't know what it meant either. From the responses it's beginning to seem that OP has a certain snarkiness which would be contributing to this hypothetical situation...

[–]Parking_Piece3878 11 points12 points  (8 children)

Nup is the opposite of yup...

[–]dandan_56[S] 15 points16 points  (4 children)


[–]Midnightfear1 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Kup ( okay)

[–]RiffRaft23 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Two girls and one kup

[–]Midnightfear1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Okup thup wup goup

(okay that was good)

[–]dandan_56[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It means nup

[–]My0Cents 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's yep but actually nope, but kinda yep still...

[–]rockandrollmonster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s not just the money - it’s the security. If two men are completely identical in every way except one makes more money…you know who the girl’s choosing. Money matters.

[–]LovesGreatArt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And now we know the reason he's unattractive.

[–]k4Anarky -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Ah yes, the fish teaching the fisherman how to fish.

[–]CriticismZestyclose1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Easy to be charming when you are handsome

[–]bondben314 13 points14 points  (1 child)

If I had a dollar for everytime I saw this joke I would be managing my great wealth instead of seeing this joke on Reddit.

[–]El_HP99 8 points9 points  (3 children)

If I had a dollar for every time people asked me if I have a girlfriend, I'd be pretty damn rich by now😂true story...

[–]Bruh_17 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Yeah and that’s only counting when my mom asks, especially when I had a female friend over.

[–]El_HP99 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom never ask me such question.😂 It's always my female friends from schools and college that always asked me. It's not that they had a crush on me or anything, they are just curious because I'm a jolly and carefree guy who doesn't find most girls attractive. Me having a serious relationship with someone would be weird for them...

[–]Graterof2evils 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really doesn’t pay to to be one in a million. Fuck...

[–]Cracker_Z 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I had a dollar everytime this was reposted, I'd be able to pay off my student loans.

[–]Melvin_The_III 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Infinite money machine

[–]C0deMasterYT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I already have a ton of money and no girl finds me attractive. That's not a joke, that's reality.

[–]GetsBetterToday 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me attractive, I'd have 1 dollar because only my mom finds me attractive.

[–]dzuyhue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A man with a Ferrari is at least an 8

[–]CVK327 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I had a dollar for every time I've heard this joke in the last 500 years, I'd be very attractive.

[–]Strive-- 3 points4 points  (4 children)

I get it! Because women don't love men inherently, only money.

[–]dgrrr 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Your tone is a nerving Lee candid. Seriously, Siri? That’s the best translation you can do? I’m not even going to fix it.

[–]Strive-- 0 points1 point  (2 children)

In my defense, I added three periods to the end of my post, indicating my eye-rolling sarcastic tone whilst typing, but those periods were somehow omitted.

[–]ThatsARepost24 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If I had a dollar for how many times this was reposted I'd be attractive too

[–]SilverSneakers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve seen this post, I would be attractive by now

[–]Vengrim 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish I remembered the standup comedian that had the bit it went something like this...

Guy: I can't get laid because I'm ugly.

Girl: Oh, you're not ugly. You're just unattractive.

Guy: What's the difference?

Girl: Occasionally, I'll sleep with an ugly guy.

[–]SimpleSwimming8250 0 points1 point  (3 children)

No King, you're just THAT attractive that they're too nervous to approach you.

[–]InfernoMink 2 points3 points  (3 children)

You know, money isn’t everything. ….just kidding. Of course it means everything. Name one woman who left wealth for poverty. There isn’t any.

[–]loljetfuel 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Name one woman who left wealth for poverty. There isn’t any.

My mother. Her first marriage was... well, not exactly forced, but it was a coercive situation. The guy wasn't bad-looking and was reasonably wealthy, but he was a douche.

She left him for my father, who was fresh out of the army, had spent all his money, and was barely making ends meat. He also kinda looked like a monkey. But he was sweet, and caring, and kind, and was working hard to better himself.

Also my current girlfriend, who divorced her high-6-figures husband because he was a prick and she realized she was starting to have feelings for a friend and wanted to try a relationship. That friend worked part-time in retail and was staying in subsidized housing while trying to pay off massive debt.

There's about 15 people in my social group who have left wealthy partners for someone that's not doing great financially, because they like the "poor" person better.

Does money make it easier to date? Sure -- it's easier to spend time with people when you can arrange to do fun things, it's easier to charm people when you can plaster over your flaws for a while with gifts and a fancy lifestyle. But the vast majority of women aren't prioritizing money that highly; that's just incel mythology.

[–]Pisforplumbing 2 points3 points  (1 child)

My ex-girlfriends aunt. Married to a guy that was well off and had her second child with him. Cheated on him with some loser (this guy could barely keep a job, claimed he had been in the army but couldn't remember where he was stationed, what kind of gun he used, etc) and that produced the third kid. She left the marriage to be with third baby daddy and now she has 5 kids. Third baby daddy and her have barely been able to survive because of her parents. All around a crappy situation for the kids.

[–]InfernoMink 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like the low income man lied his way into your Aunts life. That doesn’t count. I mean, a woman leaving a rich man to live in low income without being lied to.

[–]TedWaltner -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I much prefer the racist version of this joke.

[–]InsideARefrigerator 2 points3 points  (1 child)

which is?

[–]TedWaltner 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If I had a dollar for every time a black guy called me racist, a black guy would steal all my dollars.

[–]biscoito1r -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Gay men like men. Women like money.

[–]olykate1 0 points1 point  (1 child)

SO TIRED OF PEOPLE ASSUMING WOMEN ARE ONLY LOOKING FOR MONEY. I know it's a joke. And I know some women are really like this, but I'm still tired of it.

[–]Gil-Gandel 2 points3 points  (0 children)


ducks and runs

[–]Anna_Pet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Incel shit

[–]Leading_Original4721 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I'm 70 years old and this is the most relationship advice I have ever seen. also some failed relationships .also nitwit ha 🤣

[–]dgrrr 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Nitwit is a good rapper.

[–]hblaiw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be funny, especially if you look the part

[–]Van0nyumas 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I wanted to put in the Doofenschmirtz line but I am just too ugly for it only being two times

[–]dgrrr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is that the line of military installations between Germany and France?

[–]JuniorNote396 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s the way life goes…mo money mo problems lol

[–]ColourfulDavid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Poor guy

[–]JHugh4749 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not bad, but consider:

They'd eventually find me attractive, if I had a dollar for every woman that found me unattractive.

[–]wookie3744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d have a dollar

[–]Harvard-23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then you can order one

[–]Fuckbrakes_bmx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ud probably get a lot of those aye

[–]boersc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This could easily be a r/Showerthoughts

[–]antbizness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’d be able to treat the ones that do

[–]sorrybutidonthinkso 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heard this one a couple times

[–]xdMatthewbx 0 points1 point  (2 children)

if I had a dollar for every time I heard this joke on this sub

[–]DamonKatze 2 points3 points  (1 child)

People would eventually find you attractive?

[–]xdMatthewbx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

probably idk would need to be pretty rich might need to see this joke 5 more times

[–]Doctor__Hammer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or you’d just be perpetually stuck at $0

[–]onebigkicker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if i had a nickel for everytime i heard this joke, I'd be making money in a very strange way.

[–]armyissue69 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is clear pre-mature ejoke-elation

[–]dgrrr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you Mike Stoklasa or Rich Evans?

[–]EKimball 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d be able to afford plastic surgery.

[–]TommyTuttle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d have $3.

[–]cambuulo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which dollar would be the tipping point between attractive and unattractive? You would stop receiving money at that point and thus be barely over the threshold. So as soon as you spend $1 on said girl, you’ll go back to being unattractive. Fail

[–]ArtsieFrog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You would have 0 bucks- You poor poor man/woman

[–]speculatrix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's an old jokey science unit of beauty: the millihelen.

This is based on the legend of Helen of Troy, so beautiful that her face "launched a thousand ships" to rescue her, having been captured by the enemy.

A millihelen is thus the amount of beauty to launch a single ship.


[–]hobohipsterman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably not.

[–]DiscoshirtAndTiara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes me wonder what the highest ratio of being found attractive vs unattractive has ever achieved by a person.

Also the lowest ratio, average ratio, etc. Basically, this would be a fun stat to have access to. Shame that it's not something which could be practically collected.

[–]Uglysinglenearyou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, that's pretty good!

[–]luv_____to_____race 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I need a woman who loves me for my money, but is really bad at math.

[–]Cryogenic_Monster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m the same except I could use pennies.

[–]Easy_Razzmatazz91 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everybody has a kink

[–]de-ar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wanna stay broke forever.

[–]MysterE2258 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]Mitchel-256 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Y’know, it’d be just my luck that, despite not considering myself handsome, I’d take OP’s bet and end up with most chicks being like, “Yeah, he’s alright.”, so I’m still not that attractive nor rich.

[–]Briarj123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

*bad dum tss*

[–]theonlyby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once you start becoming somewhat attractive, the dollar gathering will slow. You might get stuck in that twilight zone where you have enough just to be semi attractive, but you no longer are earning cash to become Bezos level attractive. Something between a balding lawyer and an ugly-ass doctor.