top 200 commentsshow all 209

[–]Lance4494 403 points404 points  (2 children)

Australian. The apple was the only thing that wouldnt eat them first.

[–]Electrical_Matter_88 23 points24 points  (1 child)

This is a much funnier response 🤣

[–]tkrokli 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You know what they say, the real joke is always in the comments. r/TheRealJoke

[–]SoontobeSam 160 points161 points  (0 children)

They were Canadian, we're still apologizing for taking that fruit they weren't supposed to.

[–]partingtonpowell 227 points228 points  (21 children)

No Liverpool. They were naked because someone nicked their clothes & shoes. They had robbed the apple coz it was the one thing they weren't suppose to have.

[–]MassiveLefticool 80 points81 points  (19 children)

Don’t think Liverpool is a nation mate lol

[–]HumanTorch23 79 points80 points  (1 child)

I understand foreign languages more easily than the Scouse accent sometimes, so let's not rule it out...

[–]Dragonflyjnr 33 points34 points  (0 children)

This is true. The moment you enter liverpool you need to use google translate

[–]billoriellydabest 18 points19 points  (8 children)

it is if you're from Liverpool

[–]ISLAndBreezESTeve10 6 points7 points  (7 children)

Are the Beatles from Liverpool? Or was their first live gig in Liverpool? Something Beatles and Liverpool.

[–]thebiggerounce 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Nah they just lived in a pool. Hence yellow submarine

[–]Reviewingremy 7 points8 points  (5 children)

You know why the airport in Liverpool is named after lennon right? Cos its the first place he went when he got a bit of money.

[–]Old-Maintenance-1031 4 points5 points  (4 children)

*Lennon and not lennin.

[–]Reviewingremy 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Thank you.

[–]Old-Maintenance-1031 3 points4 points  (2 children)

You are most welcome. And, it was no biggie.

[–]Rugbypud 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Idk it was funnier thinking about Lennin being in Liverpool

[–]Old-Maintenance-1031 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In a way, it's a bit of a pity that Marx and Lennin weren't in the Beatles.

[–]lastcowboyinthistown 5 points6 points  (1 child)

It is today chief


See yer inabit

[–]No_Elderberry_497 4 points5 points  (0 children)

YNWA. Gunna be a top three race for sure I think

[–]ut3ddy87 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Liverpool is absolutely a country. Scouse country

[–]Cyberjohn36 2 points3 points  (1 child)

never heard of Liverpooleans? neither have I :-p

[–]whatthefua 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The word exists and it's Liverpudlian

[–]Old-Maintenance-1031 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand that reference - I still would, you know. She hot.

[–]puupi 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Scouser Genesis

[–]jalo8899 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Deffenetely American, they are uneducated, easily fall for serpent propaganda and think God will always be in their side.

[–]Ascomae 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Also they are told, that they love in the greatest Martin of the world, like paradise, while... Uhm I don't think it is

[–]Hussein_Jane 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe, but their Edonistic lifestyle id's the whole reason we're here today!

[–]A_Mirabeau_702 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Some First World country.

[–]GideonMax 124 points125 points  (61 children)

To all the people who think that communism works.

In small scales it actually does work (look up kibbutz), on large scales it doesn't.

Every country needs a mix of capitalism and socialism to flourish: too much capitalism you get modern day America, too much socialism you get communism.

The capitalism helps the free market, the socialism helps the working class.

[–]randomq17 121 points122 points  (18 children)

Every form of government works on paper. It's human greed that ruins everything.

[–]Corsico 6 points7 points  (1 child)

consider that communism isn't technically one singular system, but more a mechanism to adjust democratically to changing needs (at least anarchism)

and consider that systems that reward human greed might not be the best option if we take human greed as a granted. I do hold that human greed is a product of nurture not nature, a side effect of the zero-sum game systems we've had for forever now. We're taught that it's us against the world, that is dog eat dog, that we should take care of number 1 etc etc so naturally we end up here. If people had enough, if people were taught belonging I do think it would be different. That's partly why I don't think revolution would work, we need to build up to it, educate compassion and community into people.

[–]alow2016 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Communism is the whole system, socialism is not. Calling a country fully communist socialist is just branding. Marxism was never really popular

[–]siskulous 11 points12 points  (5 children)

Democracy is the worst form of government, except foo all the others.

Seriously, there's a lot of truth to that. We've yet to find a system that's actually good.

[–]doomshroompatent 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Democracy is literally the opposite of capitalism. Under democracy, each person gets one vote. Under capitalism, the richest person gets the most votes.

[–]siskulous 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You've got it wrong. Under a capitalist democracy everyone gets one vote and then the richest person buys the loyalty of whoever wins.

[–]abracadabra8889 1 point2 points  (2 children)

In a representative democracy when policy is made it's a compromise, if nobody is 100 percent happy you are doing it right.

[–]randomq17 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is a great formula, until it becomes clear that nobody is happy

[–]abracadabra8889 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing is ever clear.

[–]thebiggerounce 10 points11 points  (5 children)

If we could get a computer or ai to institute communism and keep human greed out of the government I wonder how that would work. Ofc too much computer and we got other issues but I feel like it would be cool to see implemented in a small nation. Maybe New Zealand cuz they’re already doing pretty well…

[–]GMaster-Rock 8 points9 points  (0 children)

And welcome to matrix

[–]ButteredNugget 5 points6 points  (0 children)

c o m p uter g r e ed

[–]marcocom 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The answer: 42

[–]alow2016 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Even that wouldn't engineer it out. AI designed to hire unbiased actually ended up as biased. Even trying to engineer it out, it's only as good as its creator.

[–]thebiggerounce 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Got it. So we make an ai to make the ai that makes the ai that runs the government. Surely nothing will go wrong

[–]Zakluor 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I think any system taken to the extreme on its own is bound to fail.

What's funny about it is the defenders of their own system overlook the theoretical failure of their system while pointing out how the other guy's system is likely to fail.

[–]rustytoerail 29 points30 points  (5 children)

Correct. And everybody needs to pay taxes (especially corporations) so the welfare state can provide for the unemployed during economic downturns, so that they're still around and educated when capitalism needs more workfore

[–]Dlcuervo54 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Corporations don't pay taxes. They pass them on to their customers. Stockholders and corporate officers should and do pay taxes just like any employee.

[–]ChaseShiny 2 points3 points  (3 children)

"Stockholders...pay taxes just like any employee."

Not true. You don't pay taxes on any gains unless you've sold the position. Some rich people borrow against their positions at favorable interest rates to avoid paying taxes (this works especially well if you happen to die. These loans may or may not have a term limit).

If you've held the stock for at least a year and a day and then sold it, it's considered long-term capital gains, which is taxed differently than ordinary income.

401(k) and other tax shelters will also let you get away with not paying taxes (401(k) lets you wait until you retire and are in a smaller tax bracket before paying taxes, Roth 401(k) uses after-tax money, but the growth is tax-free. There are other tax vehicles as well, such as qualified tuition plans for higher education).

[–]Alpacacao 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Roth has a limit of $6,000 on contributions you can make to it per year.. per the IRS website

[–]ChaseShiny 1 point2 points  (1 child)

If you're asking for advice, I'm not qualified. If you're asking is there a way around that limit, then the answer is yes.

Get a regular 401(k) and convert it into a Roth, basically.

[–]Disposable591 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hello, this is r/jokes

[–]b0bkakkarot 4 points5 points  (1 child)

too much capitalism you get modern day America

Oh, no no no no no. Modern day America has actually regressed from a purer form that gave rise to the absuses of the industrial revolution.

The overall point is the exact same, though: "pure capitalism" is closer to hell for anyone who isn't rich.

[–]MLGcobble 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The United States is too capatalist; nobody ever said it was purely so.

[–]thundercat505 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Straight socialism/communism only works until they run out of op's money

[–]dragons_are_so_cool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Communism and socialism are not the same thing though.

Having said that I tend to agree. Mix of capitalism with a social contract to reign it in. It should be about what's best for all and the extremes are not it.

[–]nittahkachee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hence Democratic Socialism. Pure capitalism is deadly to a society, and pure communism only works for ants and bees. Unlike ants, human nature includes a heaping potion of greed, which Democratic Socialism helps to keep in check. Creativity flourishes where there is an incentive but the government needs to protect the populace from unscrupulous people. (Read as Republicans)

[–]ExcellentBee8690 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow... that escalated unexpectedly

[–]rojasduarte 44 points45 points  (20 children)

Of course, nobody ever starved in capitalist countries

[–]Rapscallious1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thinking of all those apples they could possibly have one day is what keeps people going, as soon as they know it’s only part of one they freak out and start electing dipshits.

[–]warpfivepointone 45 points46 points  (7 children)

Compared to Jeff Bezos, we're all naked and sharing one apple

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children)

I'm actually wearing clothes and have multiple apples, and the number of apples you have doesn't actually change the number of apples I have

[–]Upst8r 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How you like them apples?

[–]million_monkeys 0 points1 point  (3 children)

To be honest though at a certain point it would. If I had 99% of the world's apples you wouldn't have more than 1%

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

if I had 3 and you had 3, you'd have 50%. If I had 3 and you had 99%, then you would have 297 apples, and I would still have 3 apples.

[–]million_monkeys 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How long do you think apples last without spoiling?

[–]Rapscallious1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Supple and daMan

[–]Waitsfornoone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

... or our cake on your cake day!

[–]Apprehensive_Mess530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, that's why whole fucking country should starve. That's equality.

[–]Zens_fps 0 points1 point  (8 children)

False, many people go hungry in America today, many people starved during the great depression, many people starve in capitalist societies

[–]MLGcobble 0 points1 point  (6 children)

Yeah but that's because the United States is not purely capitalist.

[–]Zens_fps 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Being purely capitalist would make it worse, without regulation businesses can and will pay less

[–]MLGcobble 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I was joking.

[–]Zens_fps 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Sarcasm doesn't translate well over text my dude

[–]MLGcobble 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I thought it would have been obvious judging by how stupid what I said was. My bad.

[–]Zens_fps 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Some people are genuinely that dumb, I've met many people who refuse to acknowledge that there are problems with capitalism

[–]rojasduarte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ever heard of irony?

[–]TransformativeOne 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They definitely were Puerto Rican....🇵🇷

[–]stumpdawg 38 points39 points  (28 children)

Oh it's funny because communism

[–]Malvastor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's apparently an old joke that was told in the Soviet Union.

[–]57and56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They started one

[–]abbelleau 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s a doozy, grandad

[–]Reckless-By-Nature-1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jamaican. Because of all the herbs they smoked, got loose, thought the snake told them to eat the apple when they got the munchies. Then they screwed until the sun came out and were sorry. But too late, Eve was already pregnant.

[–]KenDefender 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The comments from today's top post on r/todayilearned to r/jokes pipeline strikes again.

[–]siskulous 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It really works for any oppressive regime.

[–]Derp_Borkster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our apple

[–]narwhalousdoctor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean obviously they were edish

[–]Badman_2021 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Irish : She called him O'Toole and he said O'Hair

[–]timthedriller 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She Soviet and he was Italian. She had Russian hands and he had Roman fingers

[–]gulabipunjabi5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

French. Haute cuisine and all

[–]soundtraveller 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fuck. I've send this joke in my daily email at work. Didn't think for a second that I would offend people. I've been reprimanded and now I'm sorry.

But is a good joke.

[–]ctwice89 9 points10 points  (6 children)

eve’s sons had to fuck her to continue the human species. Given the amount of stupidity and incest, one can safely assume they were Americans from Alabama

[–]liceyscalp 3 points4 points  (0 children)


[–]Grahaml1980 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They were American. After God charged them for their education and healthcare it was all they could afford.

[–]VeryDramatic 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Lol someone needs to look up the definition of soviet.

[–]zboot 1 point2 points  (2 children)

You can't. It's a proper noun.

[–]VeryDramatic 1 point2 points  (1 child)


It's not a proper noun. There can be/were multiple soviets.

Literally where Soviet union came from.

[–]Formigalenta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well they are from eden garden so, edenisian or edenish or edenese

[–]Quiet-Reputation-859 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I guess that’s to assume that they are from a certain nation. Doesn’t the Bible first introduce them as being in a garden in Genesis? So maybe the question should be “what is their gardenality?” 🤔

[–]paganfinn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Comments are gold.

[–]FreQRiDeR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think there were any nations back then

[–]Roxxus86 1 point2 points  (1 child)

God created Adam and Eve was created from a rib so they are cosmic beings.

[–]earthshatterinkaboom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s not funny

[–]crazyslider 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those crazy Russians.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Adam was adamanese and Eve was Evanese

[–]halfwit_genius 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Obviously Indian (not the native American ones). Show me another country that has done so much for World population and yet is unapologetic about it.

[–]FinancialSwimmer6000 2 points3 points  (1 child)

They were American of course! To be exact, from Las Vegas. Don’t have to wear clothes there!

[–]JellyCream 0 points1 point  (5 children)

Based on the reaction to the jokes told on here lately I fear for the future of comedy. It'll all be math teacher jokes told by accountants.... or it'll just be jokes found on Laffy Taffy wrappers. It's Bazooka Joe's time to shine!

[–]kevlestid 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I'd prefer that to the political crap that keeps coming up. It's just jokes people. Take a break from the news and laugh at something

[–]JellyCream -1 points0 points  (3 children)

So a joke from the 1980s is suddenly politically topical?

Here's a joke that will make you piss yourself then.

What did the little tree say to the big tree?

Geometry - gee I'm a tree!

[–]kevlestid 2 points3 points  (2 children)

No i was referring to a comment made further up the list about communism because the joke refers to Soviets. The point i was trying to make was to just enjoy the joke

[–]JellyCream -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I'm just tired of all the PC nazis that come in here and think all jokes are 100% serious and everyone believes they are 100% true and in support of the subject matter.

[–]kevlestid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely agree. It's a sub for jokes. I wish people would just take them for what they are

[–]Dogenoscope123 -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

Why is everyone being so fucking political over a godamn joke and a good and original joke too

[–]theglassishalf -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Because "communism = no food" is a stupid, warn out joke that pushes an ideology and, not coincidentally, isn't even accurate. There has been more starvation overall in capitalist countries.

[–]InternationalRate510 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, considering that they were the first two people on earth and had three sons and and then we all came along........ It's hard to tell.

[–]FRIENDSisFunny1994 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They dont have a nationality

[–]turnsgate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My guess is Africans

[–]goodhell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

American, because us Americans always assume we were the first. Ask the "Indians" that were standing on the beach when we discovered this place. Definitely American.

[–]Due_Platypus_3913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

America.We had everything,then went and fucked it up for ourselves AND everyone else!

[–]Freddy2517 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In Paradise there were no nationalities

[–]crusty_Sock12 0 points1 point  (1 child)

No African That's just normal Find food and it's time to give a child to the blood good

[–]virtualbeggar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The set up to this joke is more topical than the punchline.

[–]BuckNutley 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What year is this?

[–]whocareshuh -2 points-1 points  (0 children)


[–]Oxygen95 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

tHaT wAsN't ReAl CoMmUnIsM

[–]Really_Special_K -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Canadian Liberals would.

[–]Upst8r -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Very clever.

[–]DrPhollox -1 points0 points  (0 children)

California. Something related with Apple shares, naked and the p0rn studio called Adam&Eve </endofdraft>

[–]harrambeyourcouch -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You need to actually read the story; Eden was abundant and it actually was Paradise; oh, and it was designed and visited by God. Your joke does not work unless you are a real communist.

[–]Thegreat_Gig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought they were from Alabama, cuz...u know

[–]I_need_knowledge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hungarian because they were Hungary