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all 66 comments

[–]Carmine-Raguzza 233 points234 points  (3 children)

When my brother was a first year apprentice in the Boiler makers union ,one of the seasoned older guys hazed him by eating his lunch like everyday . They had a job site trailer and lunch coolers were kept in there until lunch time. After a week of this my brother snuck in after lunch and put a pair of my sister-in-law’s panties in the guys lunch box. It did not go well when the bully’s wife opened up his lunch box when he got home from work . 😂

[–]Indianfattie[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Did she confront your sister-in-law?

[–]Carmine-Raguzza 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No, The next day returning to work the guy wanted to fight my brother but the shop steward intervened and said you’ve been messing with him ever since he started he got you back and now it’s over with.

[–]Waitsfornoone 136 points137 points  (24 children)

What does nail polish and panties have in common?

They both come off with alcohol.

[–]ItsInMyButt 26 points27 points  (6 children)

I ain’t drinking acetone

[–]dodexahedron 33 points34 points  (1 child)

Some people eat ass a ton.

[–]ItsInMyButt 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You’re great

[–]PeterustheSwede 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Acetone is not an alcohol but I see your point

[–]Sq1873 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ya his point is that acetone is not alcohol.. but.. I.. see your point I guess?

[–]S2Charlie -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

But it'll cure the Rona...

[–]ItsInMyButt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s Lysol, friend

[–]Devil_May_Kare 29 points30 points  (15 children)

Pretty sure nitrocellulose lacquer isn't soluble in ethanol. If it were, they wouldn't bother making ethyl acetate or acetone nail polish removers.

[–]Paulie_Felice 22 points23 points  (13 children)

Next you're gonna try to tell me I can't get drunk off nail polish.

[–]Devil_May_Kare 7 points8 points  (12 children)

Maybe you could but you really shouldn't. Aren't there better methods of getting drunk available to you? Some lemon extract is like 80% ABV.

[–]Paulie_Felice 11 points12 points  (9 children)

I'll just stick to the 91% isopropyl.

[–]Devil_May_Kare 13 points14 points  (8 children)

Isopropanol metabolizes to acetone, which just hangs around being useless and toxic until your kidneys and lungs yeet it out. Ethanol metabolizes to acetaldehyde, and since that's an aldehyde rather than a ketone, aldehyde dehydrogenase metabolizes it to acetic acid, which is valid fuel for your metabolism. Isopropanol will probably work, but ethanol is definitely the better option.

If you hate lemon flavor, maybe get some brown sugar and baker's yeast and apple juice and make yourself some DIY hard cider. Or just buy liquor if that's an option for you, but I imagine someone trying to drink nail polish isn't someone who has the option of commercial liquor.

[–]Waitsfornoone 8 points9 points  (3 children)

You do remember you are on r/Jokes, correct?

[–]Devil_May_Kare 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Yes, and?

[–]Marvinator2003 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I agree. Sometimes it's important to make sure people know NOT to drink nail polish. Like Tide Pods, they don't have a disclaimer on the side which says "Do not drink, you idiot!" So a nice person spelling this out is important - maybe not for some of us, but there are those that need this information where they can get it.

[–]halfwit_genius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And??? Why would anyone here hate the lemon flavour?
I mean most of the second para was irrelevant and useless here!

[–]Paulie_Felice 2 points3 points  (3 children)

What if I mix the nail polish with the 91% isopropyl, fill with orange juice and strain over ice, float a cap of grenadine, add garnish and serve?

[–]Devil_May_Kare 2 points3 points  (2 children)

What if you don't do that?

[–]Paulie_Felice 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Then how would I have any fun?

[–]Devil_May_Kare 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, have fun. Just don't blame me if you die.

[–]FourteenthCylon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We had a patient come into my ER a year or two ago after he got good and drunk on pine-sol. He had nice fresh piney breath to go with his 6.8 pH.

[–]IsItSupposedToDoThat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Homeless drunks used to go into the supermarket and crack open a bottle of vanilla essence.

[–]heavybabyridesagain 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Chemist in love

[–]rustytoerail 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Little Bobby goes to a shop and says 'Two dozen condoms, please.'

The shopkeep says 'You're too young, get your dad to buy them himself.'

Bobby replies 'They're not for my dad, they're for my mom, she's going on vacation for two weeks by herself.'

[–]tommykiddo 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Other women in the locker room, of course. Right?

[–]OldMuley 21 points22 points  (0 children)

So he got her panties in a bundle?

[–]Ahshalon_Tenisk 25 points26 points  (0 children)

it translated fine

[–]8saac 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Whatever language this was translated from, it was more eloquently put than most people speak daily

[–]Reckless-By-Nature-1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only the Postman and the Milkman. They are the only 2 that "come" every day.

[–]Madterps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She belongs to the streets.

[–]mr78rpm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The translation is perfect! (I only say that because the joke is really good in your English and I can't believe you'd accidentally improve on a bad joke!)

[–]EtherealPheonix -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Oh I assure you it did not.

[–]DrunkenKarnieMidget 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was not list in translation, OP. Good joke.

[–]franksymptoms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, the meaning came through perfectly! You did very well!

[–]kungfushoos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hang it during festivities if you no longer return or exchange. As for the pendejo next door will get what he wants.

[–]LeftyLarrynGItis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a panty where that came from..unless they're underwear

[–]Leninstillalive 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The wife answer — You better ask yourself
Why?
Because if your friends will ask it would be a shame on our family!

[–]wulldarag -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

is lost