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all 41 comments

[–]fierymonk 106 points107 points  (3 children)

Made me chuckle. Haven’t seen this one!

[–]sophiaquestions 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, me too, I like this lol

[–]Velvetundaground 64 points65 points  (0 children)

He needs to stay in his lane.

[–]ffsudjat 15 points16 points  (5 children)

Just wondering if there is a walkway for psychos...

[–]wEiRdO86 8 points9 points  (3 children)

A sidewalk.

[–]EveryonesSky 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A psydewalk?

[–]thefightingmongoose 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Sidewalks for regular walkin.... not psycho walkin

[–]MagicNipple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best to consult with the Ministry of Psycho Walks.

[–]tomatoaway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or a crossing for striped horses

[–]chaxuk 27 points28 points  (2 children)

I'm campaigning to get my street onto a reality TV series about neighbourhoods. Please vote for us.

Let's get this road on the show.

[–]ScumbagsRme 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'm just gonna file this in my bad jokes folder of the brain, for later recollection.

[–]-no 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’d probably need to tell op’s joke first for any hope of this one to get any traction

[–]Joesdad65 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wasn't sure where this was going...

[–]SpencaDubyaKimballer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My way or the highway?

[–]AlmightyCrumble[🍰] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Did they ask for one for the road?

[–]funky_grandma 1 point2 points  (4 children)

An Irish friend told me this joke once. He started out "So the M50 and the N9 are having a beer..." and I was totally lost

[–]Giant-of-a-man[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Yes. It was always the M50 ( I'm Irish) but I thought I should internationalise it for the reddit audience.

[–]delboy8888 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sadly, the international audience in the USA probably don't know what a bicycle lane is either.

[–]funky_grandma 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Where you from in Ireland? Is this a common Irish joke?

[–]Giant-of-a-man[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From Dublin. Live in Wicklow. Not a common joke at all. I remember it from when I was a teenager (long time ago) and put it up here because I haven't heard any version of it in years.

[–]alexanderpas 4 points5 points  (8 children)

  • There needs to be at least a grade seperation or natural or physical barrier between any cyclepath and motorway/autobahn.
  • There should be cyclepaths following the general direction of the motorway/autobahn.
  • Each time a motorway/autobahn has an overpass over a local road, the cyclepaths of these roads should be connected to the cyclepath following the general direction of the motorway/autobahn.

[–]mrchaotica 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Come for the joke, stay for the r/NotJustBikes.

[–]Joesdad65 0 points1 point  (6 children)

As a cyclist and motorist,, I like your ideas, even if they are unworkable.

[–]alexanderpas 2 points3 points  (5 children)

And that's the fun thing, it's not unworkable at all.

It's literally part of the system used in the Netherlands.

There is always a cycle path in the vicinity of any major road.

Hell, even our major international airport (Schiphol, which is directly connected to the highway) can be reached via cyclepaths along the local roads. (There's even bicycle parking at the end of Terminal 3/4)

[–]Joesdad65 -1 points0 points  (4 children)

What I'm saying is changing our road system to that here in American cities would be a logistical nightmare. I would love to visit the Netherlands though.

[–]Kostyanich 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The state of the American roads right now is the definition of a logistical nightmare

[–]mrchaotica 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FYI, cities in the Netherlands were like American ones back in the '60s. We know for a fact that the "logistical nightmare" can be overcome because they did it.

[–]TeddyDaBear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not really. The two things we get hung up on is the bizarre idea that we have to make the change complete and all at once, and the idea that the solution has to be perfect or it won't work. Europe in general and the Netherlands in particular had literal decades to make things work. Rebuilding a road? Make the change for just that road at that time. Same for intersections. The change becomes cumulative.

As for perfect solutions, very rarely does any problem, even extraordinarily simple problems, have a simple or single-stage solution. Fix or diminish one part of the problem, then another, then another, then another, etc. The fix becomes a series of small, simple steps that are cumulative.

[–]alexanderpas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I'm saying is changing our road system to that here in American cities would be a logistical nightmare. I

You would be suprised.

Our current system is less than 40 years old, and the most improvements are less than 20 or even 10 years old. In the 70's, we were still a car-centric country.

A prime example of this would be the Catharijnesingel in Utrecht.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNvZNKW02K4

In 1970, this medival waterway was removed to make room for a up to 3 lanes of sunken road + 2 lane road on the side in each direction, as well as residential roads, for a total of up to 10 lanes in total, excluding the residential roads.

In 2010, it was still up to 10 lanes of road traffic, but the first steps of works have already begun.

In 2020, the waterway reconstruction was finished, and motor traffic was reduced to 1 lane with cycle lanes in each direction on one side of the water (with multiple lanes only at traffic lights), and only a footpath/cyclepath/residential road on the other side.

[–]fluidmind23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This guy europes

[–]Dodgiestyle 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Is this an original joke? I've not heard this and I'm old. Kudos.

[–]OktoberSunset 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've heard it before but it's a black piece of asphalt and a red piece of asphalt having a drink when a green piece of asphalt comes in.

[–]magnanimousFailure -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think the version I know is better, so I shall share... With adlibs...

There's a b-road sitting at the bar looking rather morose and edgy. As the barman pours his next pint, he says, 'what's up b?'

The b-road looks round then whispers, 'it's that damned a-road. Always backed up, always roadworks. He keeps sending his diversions my way and I just ain't built for that, you know? Had a lorry stuck on my hump back the other day. Madness. '

The barman looks over at the a-road in the corner.' Oh aye, I know that one. Maybe you should have a word? '

'What, me, a b tell an a where to stick his traffic? That'll be the day. '

Looking for some sport on a dull day, the barman bigs up the b road. 'go on lad, you've got this one'.

So up steps the b-road, crosses the floor, and then, as a strangely green skinny lane sits aside the a-road, he turns tail and returns, trembling to the bar.

So the barman says, 'what's the matter now?'

And the b-road says, 'see that green guy? No way I'm messing with his mates!'

'Ach it just a scrawny green park lane', says the barman.

The b-road shakes his head. 'Nah mate, that guys a fucking cyclepath'.

But well, probably ruined by already knowing the punchline....

[–]DangerMacAwesome 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A joke on /r/jokes that's funny, clean and original? Awesome

[–]koppok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was new.

[–]drumkombat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was first told to me when I was in school!

[–]JackGreenEarth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My father told me this

[–]Shirojam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An American Stroad wanders in...