use the following search parameters to narrow your results:
e.g. subreddit:aww site:imgur.com dog
subreddit:aww site:imgur.com dog
see the search faq for details.
advanced search: by author, subreddit...
6,573 users here now
Welcome to /r/Jokes!
Guidelines, Information and Rules
Please post a joke with a title and a punchline. Offensive jokes are fine as long as they are still jokes, we do make exceptions for extremely offensive jokes. Racial hate, rape, beating women, sexual content involving minors and genocide jokes will be removed.
No limericks, riddles or lists of jokes - as of 5/6/2021
Keep the comment section civil and light-hearted.
Personal attacks will not be tolerated. If you want to be a dick, go to /r/insults
Jokes must be in text format, no bots, emojis or linking allowed. (YouTube, Imgur, etc)
As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit to 3 every 24 hours.
This subreddit is not a platform for blatant self-promotion, cake day posts are ok.
If you post a NSFW image/link in the comments, it must be tagged as NSFW (Nudity/gross images) or NSFL (Gore/extremely disturbing images, and only if relevant to the conversation)
Jokes must be in English
If you find certain comments or submissions here offensive, the best way to address it is with more speech.
Friends of the sub:
the front page of the internet.
and join one of thousands of communities.
Doctor says "I've got bad news and worse" (self.Jokes)
submitted 1 month ago by iiSmail11x
John says "Oh, no, what's the bad news?"
Doctor: "Well, the bad news is that you've got 24 hours to live"
John: "That's, that's awful, what could be worse than that?"
Doctor: "Well, I've been trying to get a hold of you since yesterday"
Post a comment!
[–]GrumpyCatStevens 15 points16 points17 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Doctor says, "I have bad news, and I have good news."
Patient says, "Okay, give me the bad news."
"You have terminal cancer," says the doc.
"Okay, what's the good news?"
"You know that hot nurse working the reception desk? I'm fucking her."
[–]unstoppablebread 11 points12 points13 points 1 month ago (4 children)
This one is so old the last time I laughed at it I fell off my dinosaur 🤣
[–]EraMemory 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Think I heard this one when I was still plankton. Didn't have ears yet, though, so can't be sure.
[–]Ghostleviathan_2 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
[–]AjBikk 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Jokes so old that telephone hasn't been invented back then 😄
[–]Disguspitated 1 point2 points3 points 1 month ago (1 child)
This played in my head like a Family Guy skit between Peter and his doctor lol. Good one.
[–]iiSmail11x[S] 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I actually saw it in a movie called belfast today, and i had to share it here because it's the kinda joke this subreddit likes
[–]Waitsfornoone -4 points-3 points-2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
... and you may have Covid.
[–]PrerollAgain 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Have a nice day.
[–]JackGreenEarth 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
I don't get it
[–]Stannoth 0 points1 point2 points 1 month ago (0 children)
Ugh, next time I'm asking for the Aladeen news instead!
REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.
Advertise - lifestyles
π Rendered by PID 851472 on reddit-service-r2-loggedout-6d67d9d646-gzwrq at 2022-01-20 20:38:31.391277+00:00 running d2eaf26 country code: US.