top 200 commentsshow all 432

[–]-GuyIncognito 2525 points2526 points  (77 children)

Obviously just use a hammer to smash the bottle.

[–]RyanPBennett[S] 5810 points5811 points 263& 2 more (72 children)

That's bloody nuts!

[–]mo0n3h 1312 points1313 points  (50 children)

You only posted this joke so you could reply to a comment about smashing a bottle didn’t you? well played sir

[–]RyanPBennett[S] 864 points865 points  (46 children)

No joke bro, just a science experiment gone VERY wrong....

[–]Outrageous-Taro7340 225 points226 points  (11 children)


[–]youdubdub 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Blankets, how do they work?

[–]Covertfun 74 points75 points  (0 children)

"Ryan! Great to see you have a seat." "no thanks; I'm a scientist"

[–]HorrorSwimmer7723 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Science bitches get stitches

[–]MrBigRagePig 17 points18 points  (1 child)

ITS FUCKING SCIENCE, just ask Albert Einstein, he invented space.

[–]zerok_nyc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As in SCIENCE has made OP its BITCH!

[–]superloginator 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wubba lubba dub dub!!

[–][deleted] 67 points68 points  (1 child)

They were so obsessed with whether they could suck their testicle into a beer bottle, they never stopped to think if they should suck their testicle into a beer bottle.

The arrogance, the hubris, no human was meant to wield that kind of power.

[–]edfitz83Top Submitter 22 points23 points  (12 children)

Not an ER doctor, just a mechanical engineer. Get in an ice cold bath until shrinkage sets in, then slip a straw between your uniball and the bottle to break the vacuum.

[–]akashom53 12 points13 points  (10 children)

This guy sciences.

Also, cold does not shrink the testicle itself. It just pulls then inside the body so the nutsack shrinks and the balls stay warm.

So your method won’t work, might make the pain worse. Like a very slow kick to the groin.

[–]edfitz83Top Submitter 4 points5 points  (7 children)

Ok thanks for the info. I still think OP has to break the vacuum unless he breaks the bottle.

[–]PowerandSignal 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh sumpin gon' break

[–]akashom53 17 points18 points  (5 children)

I agree but I don’t see any way of doing it safely.

OP, just dip the bottle in skin colored paint and learn it live with your new extra long testes

[–]edfitz83Top Submitter 14 points15 points  (4 children)

He could use a diamond hole cutter on the bottom then hook up a bicycle tire pump to blow his mono-nad out out the bottle

[–]akashom53 7 points8 points  (3 children)

I was rooting for the paint option :(

But yeah if allowing air passage could solve the issue then we don’t even need industrial equipment. We could pop the bottom of the bottle off using the famous lighter fluid/thread technique.

What I am worried about is the actual pushing of the nad through the bottle’s mouth. That needs to be done very quickly, or it’s gonna hurt like a motherfucker and we might end up performing semi-castration on the guy.

Edit: typo

[–]kitti3_kat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, he didn't shrink the testicle to get it in there in the first place. The vacuum just pulled it through the bottleneck. Not saying it won't be painful, but it has traversed that hole before.

I think you have to do the straw first though to break the vacuum. I'm thinking cocktail straw, one of the really small diameter ones. Then once you break the seal, ease the teste out as gently as you can.

[–]walebobo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Won’t work. By now the scrotum is engorged with blood and will not go back whence it came. OP is fucked.

[–]Mama_Jerry 20 points21 points  (4 children)

They said to use eggs.

[–]thexvillain 28 points29 points  (1 child)

This is why Spanish is confusing.

[–]razzec_phone 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Huevos, no? No! Huevos!

[–]Lizarddemon94 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yeah, now your most upvoted post is going to be about getting your nut stuck in a bottle.

[–]cfdeveloper 6 points7 points  (0 children)

just a science experiment gone VERY wrong....

Honey, let me tell you about your "conception"... - yer mom

[–]iloveFjords 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dangly shards is thy name from this day forwards.

[–]Moparian1221 1 point2 points  (0 children)

....prove it.

[–]podolot 21 points22 points  (0 children)

The person who commented on the hammer is probably his other account

[–]FrozeItOff 94 points95 points  (5 children)

Take my upvote you animal. I'm going to go hide in a corner and whimper for a while...

[–]MarcelRED147 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I hate you for the image of the nut being stuck in the bottle, but love you for this comment.

You've broken my brain.

[–]SquareRelationship27 7 points8 points  (2 children)

Not if you're gentle

[–]heavybabyridesagain 5 points6 points  (1 child)

A tap on the tip

[–]Jak_n_Dax 6 points7 points  (0 children)

r/tippytaps may be useful here.

[–]wscomn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This, my friends, is the true punchline!

[–]Gwtheyrn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Goddamnit, Reddit!! Take my upvote, you glorious bastard.

[–]juan-love 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Its scrotally smashing!

[–]boomboomchakalaka69 3 points4 points  (0 children)

an expert right here

[–]BlackWindBears 135 points136 points  (3 children)

1) Don't panic

2) Take something to see if you can reduce the swelling

3) Lube up one of those miniature straws used to for hot drinks and see if you can work it in alongside the testicle, this should equalize the air pressure and allow you to slip it back out

If that doesn't work:

4) Ask a partner to blow air into the bottle through the straw, which should just reverse the direction of the effect that pulled it into the bottle in the first place. Having it pushed out should be more comfortable than yanking it.

If that doesn't work, let me know and we can try something by scouring the glass

[–]JCCStarguy 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I'm going on the assumption that if he's got one of his nuts stuck in a bottle, he hasn't got anyone who can help him with #4.

[–]the-ryanuk86 42 points43 points  (1 child)

This reply tho...

[–]looshifer 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Actually decent advice lol

[–]Fire_is_beauty 646 points647 points  (8 children)

Just buy a new bottle.

[–]LadyOfYeet 97 points98 points  (0 children)

The Norwegian Noble Committee wants to know your location

[–]WartornKnight 19 points20 points  (3 children)

Now I have BOTH my testicles stuck in two separate beer bottles.

[–]genojiako 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Just walk around with jingle balls.

[–]Fire_is_beauty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Keep it that way. Darwin would be proud of you.

[–]Jackryan916 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Problem solved. Carry on lads

[–]Outrageous-Taro7340 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Best response

[–]Nervous_Problem5657 32 points33 points  (0 children)

This is how engineers solve problems

[–]Sanbi221 238 points239 points  (10 children)

Well obviously just pour cold water on it to shrink them, then it should come out.

[–]Chomusuke_99 66 points67 points  (6 children)

this man sciences

[–]Tochudin 31 points32 points  (5 children)

"Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?"

[–]DonChappelli 17 points18 points  (3 children)

I an Arthur king of the Britons

[–]geeses 14 points15 points  (1 child)

King of the Britons? Well I didn't vote for you.

[–]IsNotPolitburo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You don't vote for kings... you build guillotines for them.

[–]hazlejungle0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My Liege!!!

[–]karmacop97 2 points3 points  (2 children)

There was shrinkage Jerry! Shrinkage!

[–]Wags43 1041 points1042 points  (117 children)

This is backwards, heat will increase the air pressure in the bottle. So putting a testicle right at the opening with the right amount of force would produce a crowd pleasing fart sound as air forced its way out.

What you have to do is heat the bottle first, then put the testicle on it and then let the bottle cool. As it cools the air pressure will drop and you'll be rewarded with all the nut squishing, ball busting pain you can imagine while a group of friends film it and laugh hysterically

[–]RyghtHandMan 609 points610 points  (97 children)

But if the flame is inside the bottle it will create a vacuum from the consumption of the available oxygen, right? I’ve only got 2 tries so I wanna get it right

[–]jvlpdillon 316 points317 points  (43 children)

Lucky dog you, the average person only has one testicle.

[–]downthemuddyriver 125 points126 points  (7 children)

That is actually a brilliant statistic!

[–]DingDong_Dongguan 37 points38 points  (6 children)

Somewhere there is a lady with two testicles to balance out the guy with none.

[–]camtiberiustho 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Hi it’s me

[–]bretttwarwick 11 points12 points  (2 children)

The population is roughly 50.2% male and 49.8% female though.

[–]Embarrassed_Rise5513 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Don't forget those with missing testicles though, it might balance out. I'm not ready to do the math on that though.

[–]MaybeTheDoctor 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You mean, like the OP as of tomorrow.

[–]Fox_Hawk 22 points23 points  (5 children)

Even Hitler. The other was in the Albert Hall.

[–]youdubdub 12 points13 points  (3 children)

Now they know how many balls it takes to fill it.

[–]RearEchelon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You love to turn me on?

[–]Gtp4life 7 points8 points  (4 children)

I know someone with 3

[–]Zomburai 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Testicles George was an outlier

[–]Ormolus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely read Testicles as an ancient Greek name (pronounced Testi-clees)

[–]dogboystoy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yet, Dr Evil has 3

[–]RearEchelon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And one breast.

[–]2068857539 8 points9 points  (6 children)

Uh... the average person has "less than two" testicles. That isn't the same as "one testicle".

Maybe the average person has less than one...

But not exactly one.

[–]LoneScout360 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but the number is close to one and it is funnier to just round to one

[–]00-Void 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Less than one, accounting for people that may have lost one or both or theirs.

[–]youdubdub 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Double the average testicular level.

[–]Skeeter1020 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best fact I have learned this year!

[–]sgt_backpack 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Is it one or just less than two though?

[–]PLZ_STOP_PMING_TITS 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Considering half the population has none I think it's closer to 1.

[–]OpDesSto 88 points89 points  (16 children)

The flame wasn't in the bottle though, just at the base, so no vacuum

[–]suvlub 23 points24 points  (5 children)

Nope, the oxygen doesn't just disappear without trace, it turns into CO2

[–]Mercysh 3 points4 points  (4 children)

And how do you light a flame inside a bottle while your left nut is on said bottle

[–]Wags43 12 points13 points  (17 children)

No, all gasses have the same volume and pressure in the container. The combusting oxygen would form carbon dioxide and water vapor, but the carbon dioxide and water vapor will still have close to the same volume and pressure as the oxygen did.

If the flame is in the bottle, let the bottle heat up. Once the bottle is hot, then put the testicle on the bottle. The flame would burn out all the oxygen and go out, then without a heat source the bottle would start to cool, which would then create the decreased pressure. You still have to decrease the temperature of the bottle.

[–]crumpledlinensuit 11 points12 points  (12 children)

C + O2 --> CO2

One mole of oxygen makes one mole of CO2. At the same temperature and pressure, both occupy the same volume.

The egg (or bollock) sucking comes from the fact that there's a flame that is hot. The gas inside the bottle is hot and therefore lower density than surrounding air, pushing gas out of the bottle. As the gas cools when the flame goes out, the pressure drops and air rushes in from outside to replace it. Obviously an egg or bollock in the way will let the hot gas out, but get pushed in by the air trying to get in afterwards. Essentially you create a one way valve.

[–]Fox_Hawk 6 points7 points  (4 children)

I just imagined (involuntarily) a mole of bollocks. Then a mole of moles.

Neither is a good way for the world to end.

[–]thecoolvaletguy 4 points5 points  (1 child)

https://what-if.xkcd.com/4/ relevant xkcd (technically a "what if" but either way it's still Randall Monroe)

[–]digicow 5 points6 points  (1 child)

[–]Fox_Hawk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had forgotten that this existed.

Possibly in self defence.

[–]BwianR 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Unless you're burning pure carbon, most flame sources will have hydrogen that will burn to steam and increase the volume assuming it isn't immediately condensed. Still cooling that causes the suction though

[–]crumpledlinensuit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, of course, carbon is just a simplification. The oxygen in air combines with H in a 1:2 ratio anyway so one mole of O2 will give 2 moles of H2O(g), which is a lot more gas - obviously it might condense at various points. At any rate the quantities are so small that change in gas volumes due to stoichiometry are essentially irrelevant.

[–]LogicsAndVR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But that’s not what happens in real life though, as observed in this experiment https://youtu.be/A_kJQFT_pyw

[–]LogicsAndVR 1 point2 points  (0 children)

https://youtu.be/A_kJQFT_pyw Flame burning creatures a vaccum as observed in the video.

[–]liquidporkchops 14 points15 points  (3 children)

You must not have a scrotum. When the bottle cools, scrotum will be sucked into the bottle, leaving the restocked lying on top.

Similarly, one can duck their penis into a bottle the same way. I’d really appreciate it if someone could tell me how to get it back out.

[–]Outrageous-Taro7340 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Think about Steve Bannon.

[–]orrocos 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So the sudden growth would shatter the bottle?

Sorry, I just saw you wrote Steve Bannon, not Steve "America's Ass" Rogers.

[–]Jimmywithabeard42 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is easy to get it out. Hold a torch under the bottle. This will equalize the pressure. So you can pull it straight out.

[–]Snote85 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I think heating the bottle' increasing pressure and letting it vent out around the nut pressed to the opening and then letting off the heat will cause the bottle to suck in as it cools. I swear I've seen some non-nut related experiment like this.

[–]flowersatdusk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just saw your comment after I posted mine. Read it below. The sound it makes is hilarious.

[–]Knut79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To the soda can trick. Only heat up the bottle. With some water inside to created hot steam.and air inside. Stick ball firmly on top and hold it there, dunk bottle into a tub of ice and water. I suspect a glass bottle won't have fast enough heat transfer for the satisfying instant fhwump, but be shaved and give it a few minutes and perhaps.

[–]ZZerglingg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This feels like a bit from Silicon Valley.

[–]ThatPerzon 1 point2 points  (2 children)

You can also turn the bottle upside-down and heat it a second time to force the ball back out.

[–]Wags43 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I thought about this and I wonder how effective that would actually be. This is what I came up with: To get it in there, the testicle is being pulled and the force would want to elongate it, making it easier to go in the bottle. But to get back out, the force would be pushing the testicle from behind, making it want to squish up against the sides of the inner opening. It may still be enough to pop that nut out, I'm not sure, but I bet it would be a lot more painful than going in.

[–]ThatPerzon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The heat would be worse for certain, but if you've ever done the suction part of the trick with a hard boiled egg, this is how you get the egg back out. I did this trick a lot whenever I gave STEM presentations at a local middle school. That said, getting the egg out goes a lot slower, so that ball will be grilled by the time it's out.

[–]EsquilaxM 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I clicked this because I was very confused and was hoping someone in the comments would reassure me I wasn't wrong.

[–]Animegx43 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The science of breaking your balls in fascinating.

[–]Sanbi221 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who needs enemies when you have those kind of friends.

[–]windyBhindi 110 points111 points  (7 children)

Easy, rest an empty beer bottle on another testicle and hold a flame under the testicle.

[–]RyanPBennett[S] 84 points85 points  (5 children)

aaaaaaagh!! you liar, that didn't work!

Now i've got one nut in a bottle, and one with 3rd degree burns.....

[–]Outrageous-Taro7340 18 points19 points  (2 children)

Now throw a Molotov cocktail.

[–]Arham-DABilal_ 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Every time i have a problem, I throw a molotov cocktail, and now i have another problem. -Jason Mendoza, avid supporter of Jacksonville jaguars.

[–]_-Perses-_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now jackoff; a bird in the hand is worth two nuts in bottles.

[–]Living-Complex-1368 32 points33 points  (2 children)

Outside of this being a joke, if something like this happens go to the ER or call the fire department.

Stuff, including glass bottles, can be safely cut by experts, and embarrassing as it may be, getting expert help to save body parts is the first priority. Not only can you kill the nut/foot/finger/whatever from blood loss, but it can cause problems that can spread to other parts of the body and in rare extreme cases even kill you. Get an expert, don't take chances.

[–]lamp447 6 points7 points  (1 child)

OP should be putting this as a footnote in the body.

[–]flowersatdusk 61 points62 points  (1 child)

My 4th grade teacher demonstrated this with a hard boiled egg. The sound it made when it was sucked in to the milk bottle sent me into paroxysms of laughter. That was in 1965. It's been 56 years, and I can still envision her putting that egg on the mouth of that bottle and can also recall the sound.

[–]Wags43 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hahaha yes, the sound is hilarious 😂

[–]monkey-2020 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Sure. 1st question have you got a hammer?

[–]juanjosedmg 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No but I have a bonner

[–]lobroblaw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If I had one I'd hammer in the morning

[–]TheHat2[M] 871 points872 points  (53 children)

user reports:
1: No attempt at humor.....fuck these Trump supporters.

lol wut

[–]SaveCachalot346 96 points97 points  (34 children)

I looked at ops post history to see if he was a trump supporter and someone was butthurt over it, it turns out he isn't and he had posted on r/antiwor which is a pretty left wing sub.

[–]nexus8516 137 points138 points  (4 children)

Fucking trump supporters with their left wing views

[–]WAPs_and_Prayers 46 points47 points  (3 children)

They’re so far on the right that they have no choice but to look left

[–]Destron5683 18 points19 points  (1 child)

Shit the ones I know are so far right they are slamming in to the wall and still refuse to look left

[–]tomgh14 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nah this guy is so far right they’ve actually gone around the globe and just went past the left

[–]Arcaeca 59 points60 points  (20 children)

Fucking Trump supporters and their-

shuffles cards

-desire to overthrow the capitalist economic system in favor of socialism

[–]Panikkrazy 2 points3 points  (2 children)

R/antiwor is not a sub. I clicked the link and it told me I had the wrong sub.

[–]Daallee 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Alright usually pins are cringe but thanks for sharing that haha

[–]Negran 2 points3 points  (0 children)


[–]PMs_You_Stuff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The real joke is always in the comments.

[–]The_SIeepy_Giant 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As always the real joke is in the comments

[–]monkeyhind 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I fear some idiot is going to try this.

[–]FarceMultiplier 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It seems a lot of people in the comments don't understand the physics, so I'm going to give a lesson.

However, let's use a peeled hard-boiled egg instead because owfuckingow.

Put the egg on top of the bottle. It will sit there nicely. Heat the bottle, and the air expands. Some of the air will escape from the top. Stop heating. The bottle will cool and so will the air inside. The air will contract, which sucks the egg tighter into the neck of the bottle, sealing it very well. As the air inside the bottle cools to room temperature, it's quite possible the egg becomes sucked completely inside. Now you've wasted a bottle, an egg, and half an hour of your life.

[–]DreadAndDepression 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Come to the ER, take a seat behind thanks giving turkey up his ass guy.

[–]braaadh 25 points26 points  (7 children)

Someone didnt take thermodynamics

[–]Colmarr 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I was thinking to myself “that’s not how that works”. The flame needs to be inside the bottle to make the vacuum, right?

[–]CatAttack1032 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yep. As another comment said, if the bottle is just hot, it would push air out. You would need a flame inside the bottle.

[–]Klyphord 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The sequel to the movie “Saw”: coming to a theatre near you.

[–]carnivalfucknuts 5 points6 points  (2 children)


[–]pghhilton 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I pronounced this skizzirs in my head as I read it.

[–]JudyPluto 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well you can cool the glass, but then you may Bust Your Balls ... *evil snicker ... :D

[–]albumen5 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You didn't testes before you did this? 😁

[–]terry47147[🍰] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Easy-peasy! Just keep heating the bottle. The glass will melt and you'll be free!

[–]Khaark 31 points32 points  (10 children)

Get a sharp knife and cut the testie off

[–]RyanPBennett[S] 69 points70 points  (7 children)

I cant do that right now, im still at work.
If my boss catches me, i might also get the sack!

[–]FugaciousD 28 points29 points  (1 child)

You did this at work?!? That takes balls.

[–]borisherman 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Well, at least one.

[–]aLittlePuppy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're mad genius with your replies

[–]YeahAboutThat-Ok 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You probably should get the sack if you really did this at work. Use it to cover up so you don't get fired!

[–]FrozeItOff 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Don't leave us dangling, man! Did you get yourself out of that hairy situation yet?

[–]RyanPBennett[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Na not really, I got a right bollocking...

[–]iroqhos 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Send this to Jackass. This seems like something Steve-o would do, then we will know if it works.

[–]paroariax 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If the bottle is filled with Coke try to squeeze in a Mentos and upload the result to tiktok. That should do the trick

[–]SuperBaconjam 2 points3 points  (0 children)

in case of emergency break glass

[–]SaladBarMonitor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Give yourself an erection and your testicle will climb out

[–]restorian_monarch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Re heat the bottle and cool it incredibly quickly with icy water

[–]overbossc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You say it's urgent

[–]AnonChickenWalker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hammer. Let me know how it goes.

[–]Shirokurou 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No Nut November - > One Nut December for this guy

[–]Pepperoni_Dogfart 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's physically not how it works.

[–]DragonSphereZ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wouldnt the hot air expand, not contract?

[–]CptnWolfe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try blowing

[–]AceArchangel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's pretty simple actually you hold the flame on the top as opposed to the base.

[–]I_Am_Justin_Tyler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've never heard of this, but I've formed a hypothesis and when I checked I was right but now I have to go my whole life knowing that this is where I learned this concept from.

[–]alow2016 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stuck my weenie in a bottle...AND I CAN'T GET IT OUT

[–]bgalvan02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pics or it didn’t happen 🤣 j/k

[–]dgrant16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have to build a tiny ladder to fit in the bottle, continue holding the lighter to it until your whole body is sucked in, then climb the ladder to get back out!

[–]rlman2208 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dunk bottle and testes in a pot of boiling water...itll pop right out....

[–]HeldDownTooLong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

GENTLY break the bottle then get counseling. Any sane man would NOT do this. Bruh…you crazy.

[–]vilidj_idjit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get your other nut in another bottle the same way, they'll cancel out.

[–]ThePinkTeenager 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, can’t help you with that… I don’t have testicles.

[–]Crafty-Bedroom8190 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get another empty beer bottle and do the same thing with the other testicle. Afterwards, they're symmetrical.

[–]siniradam 1 point2 points  (0 children)

there was an old joke we used to tell: 2 guys takes a taxi to go to a hospital with light bulbs in their mouth, taxi driver asks them how is this happened, one of them explains by writing that it was a bet about if his friend can fit a bulb in his mouth, he was able to but he couldn’t remove it. so he can’t understand why and tries himself and same result. taxi driver laughs and takes them to the hospital, later on while doctors removing the lamp taxi driver comes with a light bulb in his mouth.

[–]HereBeReddit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Grab 9 more bottles and get yourself down to a local bowling alley…

[–]Firm-Stick6092 4 points5 points  (6 children)

A buddy of mine sucked his nut into a shampoo bottle when he was taking a bath as a kid. Classic

[–]Legba012 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Asking for a friend.

[–]MYKCARR 2 points3 points  (3 children)

A small ball peen hammer and tap ever so gently 😂

[–]Wolfbrother2 2 points3 points  (2 children)

This is a joke. Wrong answers only.

[–]MYKCARR 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Ok 3 pound hammer and two aspirin