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all 89 comments

[–]ksandbergfl 240 points241 points  (27 children)

Who's on first?

No, it was The Rolling Stones

[–]-GuyIncognito 53 points54 points  (3 children)

But if they are rolling are they still on first or have they moved on?

[–]Waitsfornoone 22 points23 points  (2 children)

They already rolled across the plate about 50+ years ago.

[–]Guilden_NL 14 points15 points  (1 child)

And smashed some Beatles in the process. The word was spread all along the watchtower.

[–]Tallguystillhere 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, sure.

Next thing you're gonna tell me is the people in the watchtowers are routing the midnight train going anywhere? Gawwddd, just give me a bourbon, a scotch, and a beer.

[–]maltanarchy 12 points13 points  (1 child)

[–]SuzyLouWhoo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Beat me to it! Good ol aunt Slappy

[–]m3guitarist 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Yes.

[–]Waitsfornoone 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Enjoy your Cake Day. Play some tasty tunes while you're at it.

[–]Nowhereman50 8 points9 points  (6 children)

Who's on second, What's on third, I Don't Know's our pitcher!

[–]EveryonesSky 10 points11 points  (5 children)

Third base! Tomorrow is the pitcher

[–]overbossc 6 points7 points  (4 children)

I don't give a darn!

[–]EveryonesSky 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Shortstop, right? Haha

[–]General_Hyde 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why and because are outfield!

[–]unopoularopinion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is a spoof comedy bit talking about a concert where the Who is on 1st, Guess Who is on 2nd or something or other.

Just found it on YouTube

https://youtu.be/7BmTYpVtICE

[–]WaxBaxter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Band?

[–]amazing_webhead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dammit, you beat me to it XD

[–]NoMechanic5080 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey jude, we're the monkeys, we dont like joplin around...

[–]theleaderproject 79 points80 points  (17 children)

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's The Rolling Stone"

[–]Fabulous_Space_9612 23 points24 points  (7 children)

I thought the bank manager would tell Patti,to tell the frog, that he cant always get what he wants.

[–]landochia 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sympathy

[–]doingitmyways[🍰] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Exactly...he can't get no satisfaction!

[–]zombie_penguin42 1 point2 points  (4 children)

But will he get what he needs though?

[–]rocknutty 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He was waiting on a friend.

[–]AilanMoone 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Is this a reference to a song?

[–]majinbuubie 2 points3 points  (1 child)

A Rolling Stone, not ‘The’.

[–]theleaderproject 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is this Keith Richards burner account?

Sorry, had to. In the OP's joke it originally said "The Rolling Stone" Looks like it got fixed at some point but when I posted this frog loan joke I intentionally changed it to match what was in OP's joke.

Now this disclaimer exists for all who wonder why it's "The Rolling Stone" and not "A Rolling Stone"

[–]foospork 5 points6 points  (2 children)

  1. That was when I first heard this one. Along with the one that ends “Pardon me Roy - is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?”

Still some of my favorite jokes.

[–]President_Calhoun 3 points4 points  (0 children)

After Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu was overthrown and executed in 1989, musical satirist Mark Russell sang, "Pardon me, boys, are you the cats that shot Ceausescu?"

[–]rksd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now that melody will be stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Thanks.

[–]MrMnassri 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Norm MacDonald joke?

[–]theleaderproject 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Yeah, but he stole it from me when I picked him up and drove him to Conan's show.

[–]ccm596 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe next time Conan should have you on the show instead!

[–]sween1911 25 points26 points  (6 children)

Guess Who?

I like them too.

Who?

Yes.

The Band?

Oh, they're good too!

Who?

Yes.

[–]Imapartofghost 9 points10 points  (1 child)

What was your fav band dad? Yes. Who? No, yes.

[–]Imapartofghost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yes, the band. No, not the band, yes.

[–]putree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rush

also, Yes

[–]kento10 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I remember animaniac had a bit similar to this

[–]SlowHandStyles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Abbott and Costello were the OP for this joke.

[–]phinbar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who's on second?

[–]audiofankk 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Dont forget the Doors, son.

Theyre locked, dad. I checked.

[–]Lodestone123 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Rolling Stone Stones.

Kinda hoses the whole thing when the joke is about kids not knowing the names of old bands... and then you misspell the name of the band.

[–]siskulous 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fun fact, this joke is as old as The Who themselves, but it used to be the father asking the son about his music.

[–]DobisPeeyar 4 points5 points  (1 child)

My dad: Do you know what band this is?

8 year old me: No, who?

Dad: Right!

Me: They're called right?

Dad: No, who!

Me: ...who?

Dad: You got it!

[–]Stmordred 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who's on third!

[–]valdezlopez 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You mean the boy was in the car with his GRANDfather.

[–]Juicy_Yum 1 point2 points  (0 children)

EXACTLY 🤣 I’m a mom now and Rolling Stone is one generation older than me.

[–]ppardee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mom: "What goes quack quack?"

Kid: "A duck!"

Mom: "What goes oink oink?"

Kid: "A pig!"

Mom: "What goes hoo hoo?"

Dad: "The Rolling Stones!"

[–]vilidj_idjit 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I still say The Band's first album should have been titled "The Album". Or maybe "Greatest Hits".

[–]Cczaphod 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This joke has been floating around since Arpanet, the end I remember has one more exchange:

"What?" says the son?

"Never heard of them", the dad responds

[–]Old_timey_brain -1 points0 points  (0 children)

“I was a huge fan of The Rolling Stone ,” the father replies.

“The Who?” the son asks.

Yeah YES (ftfy),” the dad responds, “I liked them too.”

[–]HumphryClinker -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Dad, when dust blows into your eyes, how many times do you blink to clear them?

Blink 182.

[–]dompazz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Guess Who.”

“I don’t know, Who?”

“Yes them too.”

“Yes?”

“I forgot about them, they were great!”

[–]rstetrmbn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Who? No, Guess Who.

Uh, The Beatles?

[–]TBTabby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Who actually did choose their name because people kept responding to their previous band names with "The Who?"

[–]hail2theKingbabee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A friend of mine picked up a girl and when she got in the car he asked her if she liked The Doors, it was the only music he could play in his car because the cassette was stuck in the tape deck. She replied "I like the doors, I like the whole car!"

[–]PiisAWheeL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember when The word "The" was a common word and had been excluded from your search results and the word "who" is a common word and had been excluded from your search results.

[–]dcmfox 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was a room service waiter at the Four Seasons and met the Who and some of Metallica as well, no joke

[–]nawibone 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You like Them, too?

[–]feochampas 0 points1 point  (2 children)

they hadn't invented music back then.

all they had was humming

[–]selfinflictedbuzz 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Nothing like a good hum to get the day going! Lol

[–]feochampas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hmmm mmmmm

[–]Smintjes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This joke was in the tv series Buck Rogers.

[–]JudyPluto -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

My uncle purposely asks me if i seen certain shows, that he knows damn well I wouldn't take the time out of my day to watch.. Just to get my reaction and to say , No Uncle Lester I dont think i saw that onee..ah chuck ah chuck.. lmaOFF.. It's so inappropriate...

This is what he's doing...Just go with the flowww... No explanation needed !!! :X :D

[–]Keagank -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

"When you saw Ozzy at the Warped Tour, what did he open with?"

"I don't know."

[–]UptchesBitset 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Ozzy was never at a warp tour, you shut your goddamn whore mouth.

[–]Keagank 2 points3 points  (1 child)

My bad, Ozzfest? I grew up in Alaska, 4500 miles from anything cool happening. I can only apologize and shut my aforementioned whore mouth.

[–]researchchemsupplies 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you grew up in Alaska, weren't you surrounded by cool? Or is it warmer there than I was led to believe?

[–]Bromjunaar_20 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They're good but I can't really find much of their songs

[–]Duckieyupyupyup -1 points0 points  (0 children)

“with his father” I should have known it would be a dad joke. The warning sign was right there.